Ignatian spirituality and the rebuilding of self-esteem

Of all the relationships in my life, one that has been among the most difficult is the relationship with myself; overcoming low self-confidence is an ongoing struggle. One might contend that self-denigration is a form of self-mutilation, and at times it has been a powerfully destructive force in my life. All too often, low self-esteem has limited the opportunities available to me, and has had an impact on the relationships with significant others in my life, including God. It has even been suggested that it has been one of the inordinateattachments from which I have needed liberating (Exx 23). While the problem is now much less severe than it has been, maintaining a functional level of self-esteem requires ongoing effort. In this paper, it is my aim to tell of my own journey into Ignatian prayer, using illustrations from my own journals, and to explain why it has become important in my efforts to preserve a sense of my own value.