Outside belonging : multi-sexual relationships as border existence

This article draws from an ongoing Australian research project with over 60 culturally and sexually diverse women in monogamous, open, and polyamorous relationships with bisexual-identifying and/or bisexualbehaving men. Positioned within a queer feminist deconstructive theoretical framework, this research provides insights into the border existences of these women and their partners, and their negotiations of “new rules” and boundaries in order to construct healthy relationships. What are the various ways that HIV/AIDS impacts women in relationships with bisexual men? How do they deal with issues such as social, community, workplace and familial ostracism? Probyn's term, “outside belonging” (1996: 9) is applicable to the border existences of thesewomen and their bisexual male partners. Their multi-sexual relationships are both “outside” gendernormative and heteronormative constructs of marital and defacto relationships and yet “belonging,” for the partnersmay “pass” as a “normal” couple. They are also “outside” the dominant constructs of Australian gay identity and community while simultaneously “belonging” due to their partners', and sometimes their own, same-sex attractions and relationships.