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An Ai^trAliAn national NEW5paper.


Vol. i.    MELBOURNE, APRIL 28, 1900.    No. 1.

JOSEPH’S DREAM.

Britannia: “THIS is

“ They met the circling foe's demand For arms the way the Spartans did— To come and take them hand to hand, The clamoring clustered host was bid: When through the sweeping spray of lead They rushed the furnaces of Hell,

And drove their dripping blades ahead, Till, one by one, they fighting fell,”


the ‘ Bond of Empire,’—not THAT:’

Across the years our memory leaps, Again we join them as they play—

.    Across the miles our vision peeps,

We see them lifeless as they lay.

A bunch of boulders bullet stripped,

A hillside thatched with still khaki, A sheaf of bayonets scarlet tipped,

■* Our own, our own Thermopylae,”

Melbourne    ...

Sydney ......

Adelaide    ...

Brisbane    ...

Capetown    ...

London... H Farri


Che Outpost.

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Oe Ouipost.

SATURDAY, APRIL 28, 1000.

STRANGLING PATRIOTISM.

Whatever politicians meddle with they muddle. The latest and cruellest muddle they have succeeded in placing to their discredit is in connection with the Australian Imperial regiment. The history of that force in Victoria is a shameful tale of wire-pulling, heartlessness, incapacity and meanness, well calculated to strangle the stoutest patriotism.

Political influence began to get to work early. On an ignoble course it generally does. A certain number of men were required as Victoria’s contribution to the regiment. Instead of leaving the whole matter in the hands of the military authorities, and holding them responsible for the result, a spineless, vote-lumling government, in order to placate members of Parliament who themselves were bartering for the votes of their constituents, agreed to allow volunteers to be selected at various centres, and sent into camp at Langwarrm without regard to the total wanted. This system naturally resulted in getting many more men than were required. Then confusion began. Ministerial interference, guided by the Minister tor Defence, made that confusion worse confounded.

Mr. Melville, who by his rash acceptance of office has attracted public attention to a remarkable lack of administrative ability, which he ought to have known “ could only pass without censure when it passed without observation," then committed the silliest act of an administration singularly well tilled with puerilities and stupid blunders-He appointed all the minor officers of the corps first, and the commanding officer last, and then only after a delay of four weeks.

All that time the men were in camp under “ active service regulations.” None of them were aware of the fact that there would be an overplus at the time they were ordered into camp, but once there, they found themselves face to face with the embarrassment that they might have to go back to where they came from, and tell the friends they had only recently bade farewell to that after all they were not going with the regiment. Uncertainty went hand in hand with disorganisation and prevented the officers detailed to drill the men from forming them into permanent groups and divisions. Men were in one division one day and in another the next. Their position was most unsatisfactory, but they bore it all without a murmur, and officers testify to their willingness to work and learn.

Taking ad'antage of their readiness to suffer inconvenience for the sake of their deep-rooted patriotism and loyally, the Minister—-with that supercilious air of the well-dressed, well-fed prig who wonders \Vhy the hungry, ragged men on the street corner shivers at every blast—heaped cruel unnecessary hardship upon them. During a portion of flic time in camp the rain fell in torrents, and Langwarrin was swept with bitterly cold gales. The whole camp became a a quagmire, through which the men trudged ankle-deep in slush. Their clothes-—for the Government only at the last moment supplied them with uniforms— were soaked through and through for days at a stretch. The ground inside the tents absorbed so much of the water lying about outside that it quickly became soft mud. In turn the bedding and kits absorbed moisture from the mud until everything in the tent was sodden.

Into each of these rheumatism-breeding tents ten men were crowded along with their wet saddles, rifles and kit. “ Active service regulations ’’ notwithstanding the accommodation was not sufficient for ten men. In matters of health, however, as in all other things, the government of this colony makes laws and is the first to break them when made. Perhaps the Minister of Defence is so much occupied in investigating the morals of the men going to shoot ttie Boers in South Africa that he has no time to consider their health.

Men had to lie doubled up into half their length in their damp clothes, with their legs overlapping the next man’s. This disgraceful state of affairs was due solely to a foolish and heartless idea of getting ttie men used to the hardships of war conditions. It never occurred to Mr. Melville and his political colleagues that on the same principle he should have bullets fired into the men for the purpose of accustoming them to the peculiar sensation. Anyone but a politician, purblind with vote catching, must see that if men are likely to have to endure hardships in the near future, they should be preserved as much as possible beforehand. An analogous case would be to keep the British soldier on siege rations during times of peace in order to prepare him for such emergencies as the investment of Ladysmith. The want of sufficient accommodation was not owing to any scarcity of tents, but to a sheer lack of ordinary intelligence.

In addition to such discomforts and unnecessary hardships the men were not properly fed. There was plenty for them to eat, but the meanness of the Government rendered it impossible to cook or

distribute it in edible condition. The fires and the cooks were without covering; the bread was brought out in the rain, and cut up as it floated about in water -n the tables ; and the tent orderlies who came to collect the food had to walk about in the rain until all was cold and sodden.

During all that time- the men were left without unforms or underclothing. Most of them had come into camp with just the clothes they stood up in at the time, and their sufferings from cold were intense. At nights they might have been seen standing round a bonfire drying their clothes on their backs, the steam rising from them like a white mist cloud.

The plight of those left in the ranks after the selection committee had promiscuously thrown out about 200 men, was bad enough, but that of the men rejected, and who were told to stay in camp while the Government ascertained whether the Imperial authorities would accept the surplus —a thing that should have been done weeks before—was a thousand times worse. Those men were drafted into a company by themselves, and were left without even the great coats which had been issued to the others.

Their troubles were not softened by the knowledge of how they had been set aside. The way in which the selection committee did its work of cutting the men in camp down to the required number, would have been laughable if it had not been so grossly unjust and unfair. In order to make no mistakes about certain men on whose behalf live wires had been pulled, the committee first searched up and down the lines until they were discovered and ear-marked. Then they began cheerfully, and adopting no plan simply threw out, according to their own sweet fancies, some of the finest men who had volunteered.

* * *

It is impossible to over-estimate the utter confusion and disorganisation that prevailed at the camp for sometime. One illustration will help in understanding it. It seems that “ active service regulations are silent on the question of the issue of milk. Probably milk was not known when the regulations were framed. At any rate as they omit all mention of the subject the doctor was unable on one occasion to obtain milk for a patient in the field hospital, without personally guaranteeing the cost. There was plenty of milk in the canteen, but as none was on issue to the troops, no one knew how it could be got to the hospital without first cabling to Mr. Chamberlain to find out who was going to pay it.

From first to last neither the officers nor the men have been considered for one moment. They have been treated little better than dogs, and it is a great tribute to their pluck and patriotism that they remained in camp at all. It is a greater testimony to their soundhess and hardiness that so few of them showed any ill-effects from their brutal treatment. They stuck to their cruel lot manfully and proved they are such stuff as heroes are made of. The enemy that beats them must be tough indeed.

THE CONCESSIONS OF CHAMBERLAIN.

Ed. Outpost.—The spectacle of anti-federal politicians like Lyne and McLean forming part of a conference to voice the attitude of Australia on the Commonwealth Bill is ironical. Lyne saw in the measure nothing but the financial ruin of his province, while McLean declared that Victoria would lose millions in land values. For these and other Seasons no one expected that the reply of the Premiers would either help our representatives in their demand for “the Bill and nothing but the Bill,” or throw any light on the situation. All that can be said in favour of their decision is, that it will relieve the delegates of the responsibility of accepting the


inevitable amendments. To describe the despatch as diplomatic is mere fustian. There may have been room for tact so far as the New Zealand and Westralian alterations are concerned ; but in the matter of the Privy Council clauses the Imperial authorities have never allowed the dispute to descend to a question of diplomacy. To them it is a principle of Empire overriding the most pretentious compact ever framed. Some politicians may pretend that it is not a vital principle, but surely the best judges arc those who bear the obligations of the Empire.

* * *

The Colonial Secretary’s invitation to send delegates to London has led to a liberal misunderstanding on the part of many as to the actual position. Sections of the press and public have been deceived by mere florid praseology, but the facts are plain. In the first place Australia is not a nation in itself. It may have all the necessities and some of the possibilities, but it is not a self-contained self-maintained nation. We are a number of dependencies, and the constitution of every Australian province hangs upon the same Imperial peg as the English Licensing Law or Vaccination Act. Legally it would be just as easy for the Lords and Commons to amend or abolish the Constitution of Victoria as to lower the duty on tobacco. From this standpoint to cry “The Bill and nothing but the Bill,” is a piece of infantile presumtion. Of course it is only natural to ask for the retention of all past privileges ; we should be unworthy of the race to forego them without protest. But we are not asked to abate one jot of our former freedom, indeed in some respects we are to be granted an extension. What is objected to is, not that we seek to curtail certain liberties now possessed by all citizens of the Empire. Every British subject has the right of final appeal to his sovereign. If he be in Great Britain or Ireland it is to the Queen in the House of Lords ; if he be in any of the Imperial possessions it is to the Queen in the Privy Council. This privilege is not only the sacred right of every man who owes allegiance to Her Majesty, it is the circumstance that makes us an Empire. With the almost absolute self-governing powers granted to the colonies we may say that, sentiment aside, it is the strongest tie that binds us to the central government. The Queen, says British law, is the fountain of justice ; all writs and proceedings begin in Her name from high treason to the theft of a bicycle and to Her ultimately all subjects have the right to appeal. In short if the Queen ceased to adjudicate she would cease to govern.

* * *

The appeal to the Privy Council is essential to the solidarity of the Empire. Take for instance the case of Cape Colony and assume that it has the right to refuse appeals to England. Rebellious judges could interpret the law and the constitution in such a way as to work incalculable injustice to the interests of British citizens. To-day they have a hostile Premier in Schriener, but the law empowers Milner to override him in his depredations. The comparison, so far as probabilities are concerned may be extreme, but a nation cannot make fish of one colony and fowl of another. Britain practically says to us : You may make what laws you choose, calling this a crime or that a virtue, all that we ask is that the Privy Council may be permitted to judge as to whether that law is equitably administered as between man and man. If you wish to federate we will give you the freest right to alter your relations to each other ; but in all that concerns your relations to the Empire, cither as individuals, States, or Commonwealth, we reserve the right to regulate you in the best interests of the whole nation. In matters of justice we must have uniform finality.

Under the bill as it now stands it will be possible to carry appeals direct to the Privy Council in the ordinary way, viz , as a matter of course in cases of ¿500, and by special leave in all others ; but if the case be taken to the Federal

High Court there can be no appeal to the P.C., except in a limited number of matters. That is to say if Brown beats Jones in a Victorian Court, Jones can take him to the Federal High Court ; but if Brown loses there he cannot take Jones to Queen, whereas he could have done so if beaten in the first court. Now, all that Chamberlain asks is not that we allow appeals as a matter of course, but that the appeals by special leave be preserved, so that every case of appeal will stand on its merits. This is by no means a small concession, and after all, if we were prepared to make bargains with the other provinces when uniting, we must be prepared to make concessions in our compact with the Empire. We are not fighting for old privileges, but endeavouring to obtain new ones. They were prepared to meet 11s half way by restricting appeals to the test of special leave. Let 11s go the other half with no grudging spirit.

$ * #

Commercially cansidered, it is obvious that whether the P.C. be good or otherwise, the British capitalist has great faith in its equity, and if we succeed in setting it aside, he will be chary of Australian investments. This would defeat one of the best objects of Federation, namely, a reduction of the interest burden by borrowing on the greater security of the Commonwealth. Moreover, we are not without our obligations already to the English money lender. Publicly we owe him over one hundred and seventy millions, and privately about another hundred million. He naturally feels anxious that finality of decision “ should lie with the highest tribunal of the Empire, beyond suspicion of local bias or predilection."

* . *• *

The wisest course to pursue is to accept the concession of Chamberlain, and fedeivilc at once on the rest of the Bill. The vast majority of our people have not studied the point, while those who have are mostly indifferent. If we ever do feel strongly on the question we can make it an amendment of the Constitution. With such a clear cut expression of the Commonwealth, backed by a double referendum of the people and states, the Imperial Ministry would doubtless give it a more favourable consideration.    Native Boer.

THE BOER AND THE “BULLETIN.”

The efforts of the Bulletin to be serious often call to mind the efforts of a drunken man to appear sober. As a funny paper and even as a purveyor of “tit-bits” its reputation is pretty secure—although even here a reservation must be made. Some of the funny paragraphs of the Bulletin are obviously only rendered funny by the chopping and changing and bianding which the literary Dr. Morean of its staff exercises on them ; forcing them to be funny in Bulletinese, by violence, whether their nature is that way or no. And even in the realm of serious journalistic endeavor, its one laudable stroke, in behalf of Federation was looked at askance by good Australians. It was hard to see how a paper which had no enthusiasm in general, could have one enthusiasm in particular, or how a journal which individually arrainged most of its fellow-citizens from time to time as fools, idiots, thieves, swindlers and hypocrites, could possibly predict any good of these same people when banded together into one community. Amongst those who have tried to find out, the best opinion inclines to the view that the Bulletin intends its views on the African debate to be taken as serious and sound. Misapplied logic and bad history and shallow political principles alone, could lead any thinker into the Bulletin's amazing welter of contradictions. What, for example, is the use of arguing logically, when you have started from the wrong base, as the Bulletin does when it assumes, ostrich-fashion, that the only reasons for the war is the refusal of franchise rights to Britishers ? Or when it forgets that South Africa was originally handed over to

Great Britain by conquest, after a war ; and that the Boers are therefore, as a matter of international law, in the position of a conquered people ? Of course, if these supposed conquered people turn round and say " after all we are not conquered. Come and see if we are," their right to say this must be conceded. But so also must the right ol the other country be conceded to pound them into submissisn. This is the question which the war is deciding. And meanwhile it is useless to shriek of the “brutal invasion of natural and national rights " by Great Britain, or to assert that the Boers hold the Transvaal territory by ethically inviolable right. Apart from the aspect that they themselves wrested the territory forcibly from the Zulu tribes, and therefore have no ethical ground of complaint againat a stronger poweiqwhieh is in turn resting it from them-—apart altogether from this, it is to be noticed that the theory has never been granted, that the subjects of any power are at liberty to “ trek " from its control, take possession of unoccupied terr itory on it;; borders and establish a hostile State there. It would be a suicidal policy on the part of any Power to acquiesce in such doctrine—if the said Po.wer were strong enough to prevent it, which Great Britain is.

* * *

But apart from all these considerations there remains another argument on the British side which is perhaps stronger than all the others. And this argument deals with an aspect of the question in which Australians arc as vitally interested as the inhabitants of Britain. And the fact that they are so vitally interested is full warrant and moral indemnity, in the minds of rational men, for the despatch of our contingents. The war is plainly a racial and sentimental war. And its issues, moreover, are significant not only to the Transvaal and to the Orange Free State, but to the WHOLE of the South African communities. Now these communities include a minority (which is not far from an equality) of nearly four hundred thousand British people. These people have settled lawfully in the country, to its political, moral and commercial advantage. To a man they regard the possible supremacy of the Boer and of Dutch institutions as a calamity, a re-descent to the dark ages. And the matter in disqute is unquestionably this :—Shall Dutchmen and Dutch language and Dutch customs carry the day, as against English men (English-speaking men) English customs and English institutions, throughout South Africa ? And if this question is answered in the affirmative it means that the whole of South Africa will henceforth be shut against English-speaking men, except on humiliating conditions, and that the Englishmen already there will be harrassed and made subject, in all these particulars, to a people of lower caste than themselves—an intolerable idea. For Great Britain and Australia to have deserted their kinsmen in South Africa by refusing the present war, would have been an act of the blackest treachery and race-disloyalty. Let the question be settled now, and settled for ever in the only possible way ; by subverting entirely the independent Dutch Governments in South Africa—not in the interests of race tyranny, but in the interests of a peacable fusion of races a problem which Great Britain has, by signal instances, at least shown herself capable of solving.

Answers to Correspondents.

A.C.W., Carlton : Returning tale ; unsuitable. Work on a more interesting theme next lime. . . .

M. H. Law: It is the worst form of journalistic promiscuity. .    . Dapto : Five out of ten of the

stories evidence sex-lunacy of an aggravated type. The paper assumes in all its fiction that all men are blackguards and then attempts to prove it by tales of men run ning away with other men’s wives. Which is meredrivelling idiocy. . . Fen» Shave : “ A man borrowed another man’s wife for a time. Then he sent her back again. Then he got her to back his overdraft to finance a wild-cat venture.” Don’t see any justification for a story in that. .    .

Cynic : Sent your verse to the plague-infected

area. Try the B-. . . Milky White : The

publisher of the Society paper who predicted failure for the Outpost once offered an Outpost contributor 5s. a page for copy. Well—the Outpost would prefer failure to that. . . Bolygroove : L'navoidly crowded out. . . Pankaroo : Sorry ; same.

Victorian people are wondering just now what particular benefits ex-Minister Taverner's recent embassy to the old world will bring about. The agricultural interests were supposed to be the primary object of the trip, and whilst Taverner was away numberless cablegrams arrived from him of a cheersome nature, intimating that the Victorian farmers need'nt despair for Taverner was looking through “ Gay Paree ” in search of “ the very best agricultural information.” But all the time that the cablegrams were arriving things were so disgustingly bad in Vic. itself that there was a continual blockage at the port, and a similar state of affairs on the Vic. railroad system. Agricultural prices sank lower and lower, but Taverner's return was anticipated, so weary producers tightened up their belt buckle and spoke hopefully about the future. Taverner came back at last, but just then the Vic. Parliament, as a “ welcome home” to the wanderer, promptly threw the Turner Government into unofficial space. So the weary cultivator is still waiting wearily on his back fence for the information, for Taverner just now is as a sealed book and won’t give valuable information that might serve to immortalise the M'Lcan Cabinet. In the meantime the exMinister has opened up some sort of business—on his own—connected with the export trade in which his continental experience should prove remunerative to himself. One of the numerous Madden family will contest Taverner’s seat at the next election, but it is unlikely that Taverner will be rejected on that account. The average elector will return Taverner not because he thinks he has any constancy of political opinion or God-given faculty of administration, he will support him mostly because he realises that Taverner has had a wild and wooly time whilst in office, for they view that sort of man in “way-back” circles with envious reverence.

Although Parliament was prorogued till the 24th of April, the Ministry has decided not (o open the next session until July or late in June. M’Lcan will tell (he public he was awaiting the decision of the Imperial Government on the Commonwealth Bill. The non-possibles of the Assembly will he satisfied with an extended holiday, while Ministers will admit that deputations are less

dangerous than the Opposition.

* * *

At the last general election Toutcher’s opponent declared that the Turner Government was fitting out a lot of city clerks with a free pass and a helltopper to oppose the opposition. Now they talk of the Opposition providing a tall hat and a

cheque for someone to oppose Toutcher.

* * *

While the late Sir Henry Parkes protested only too much that, 111 never read the papers,” Duncan Gillies is content to say, "I never reply to them.” Although one of the most press-censured men in local politics, no one remembers him to have ever written a letter of explanation. On the stump and in Parliament, however, Duncan is so cocksure, and has the passion for replies so strongly marked that one imagines him even wanting to 1 follow ’ the Almighty on the Day of Judgement.

Some notes at the Eight Hours Luncheon :— McKacharn was insulted.

The Art*us was ignored.

No one toasted the Tocsin—the only Vic Labour paper

The Trades Hall “got home” on Mayor McEacharn at the Eight Hours luncheon on Saturday. Invited Sir Malcolm to the feeding as an Exhibition Trustee and ignored him as the chief municipal dignitary of Victoria. Probably the head of the shipping forces in the maratime strike, will be the last man to squeal. He beat the Trade’s Hall to its knees when the last big strike was on ; he rubbed its nose in the dust by refusing to invite it to the Mayoral Banquet. And the Hall blundered into a very effective retort on Saturday. It was brutal, but then war is brutal. Also, the ignoring of the Hall by the Mayor at his first banquet was brutal, too.

* * *

The enforced silence of Mayor McEacharn at the Eight Hours’ Luncheon on Saturday may have been balm to the bruised memories of his vanquished foes, but it was the loss of the “ others" there who yearned for at least one decent utterance. Trenwith merely babbled a thin stream of fluency that trickled over the pebbles of “ industrial axioms" ; the others were hopelessly drab-coloured, The present Mayor has at least the trick of saying unpleasant and unwelcome things in a forcible way. But the Trades Hall was not taking any on Saturday.

* * *

Among the last police promotions are the names of two officers prominently identified with the Detective Force. Mr. Mahony, who has now attained the high rank of Superintendent and been placed in charge of the Bendigo police district, will be remembered as the detective from whom Martin Weiberg, the pioneer stealer of sovereigns from ships, made his escape under sensational circumstances. Weiberg offered to point out where some of the gold was planted, and Mahony undertook to escort him. But when in a remote spot in Gippsland the prisoner gave the detective a violent blow below the belt, winded him, and so made his escape. That was his only chance, as Mahony was at the time the Champion sprinter of Victoria. Great fun was made of the incident at the time, and one pantomime gag ran :

“ Says Weiberg to Mahony, that’s just the right spot,

O, aint it peculiar !

Hit him right on it, gave a jump and then 1 got.’

O, aint it pecnliar !”

* * *

The other promoted detective is Whitney, who becomes a Sub-Inspector. He will now do uniform duty, and it is anticipated that his departure from detective work will do much to soothe fhe perturbed spirits of (lie Criminal Investigation Branch.

It looks as if Mr. Howard’s suggestions for die “improvement” of Victoria’s telephone and telegraph system will have to be closely watched if irritation of the public is to be avoided. So far they chiefly consist of the advocacy of devices to increase the revenue obtainable from the system, and correspondingly augment the inconvenience of the subscribers. Tne toll system of charging for the use of telephones appears to be particularly objectionable, as indeed would be any very great restrictions in this respect. We shall next have the Metropolitan Board of Works calling upon householders to keep count of the number of times they turn ou their domestic taps. Similarly Mr. Howard's proposal that telegram address should be charged as part of the message has little to commend it, '"and like the rest of his cash-raising ideas, seems to have been inspired by acquaintance in the hands of private capitalists, whose first consideration is personal profit, public convenience being only a secondary concern.

A Sydney weekly, which boasts the development of more poetical talent than all other Australian papers put together, recently printed over the name of “ William Carter,” as original verse, eight lines copied word for word, from the odes of Thomas Moore.

The McLean majority has dwindled down to two, while the Ministerial blunders have been rapidly increasing. Biblical metaphors having failed, nothing but the prayers of the scriptural Shiels can avert disaster.

Treasurer's Prayer.

If through Australia’s breadth and length My windy fame far reaches,

‘Twas on Thy Word I built my strength—

And from it stole my speeches.

I chose my leader’s motley crew,

From kirks and Sunday classes ;

Though mixed they are Thy servants true,

In scripture each surpasses.

But, Lord, observe the slender thread On which our party hangeth ;

Confuse and turn Sir Turner’s head Whenever he harangueth.

To see him Treasurer again,

How sorely would I grudge it ;

No verses deck his speeches plain,

No Bible fills his budget.

Then grant, O Lord, that Turner bold May never take our trenches ;

Spare us a little while to hold The Ministerial benches.

The Scout.

The present war is responsible for the introduction of military terms into all ranks of life—even that of the outlawed push.—News Item.

Now nark yer game o’ callin me a tout,

When I’m watchin if the game is safe and cush ;

For I’m goin’ to make this rule,

In our rorty two-up school,

Yer must call me Bill the Outpost of the Push.

When yer go to biff a copper on his own,

Or you've struck a simple sonk from up the bush ;

I'm the bloke to keep ye fly,

For a sentinel am I,

I’m a flamin’ blanky Outpost of the Push.

I’m a scouter for the bleedin’ Bouveroos,

I'm a what yer call patroller for a pool ;

If a bloke cries, “ cut the cake,”

Or, “ Me chapters, do a break.

Take yer hook, it’s Bill, the Sentry of the School.’-The Scout.

Lieut-Colonel Kenneth MacKay, who goes ou to South Africa in command of the New South Wales section of the Imperial Bushmen, was some years ago noted as a fearless rider over the big sticks when he was accounted one of the best amateur steeplechasers ¡11 Australia. Of one performance in particular he is justly proud. Soon after the start a stirrup-leather broke, but he kept his seat and succeeded in taking his horse over everything and landed him home in front. Mr. MacKay is not unknown to literature. About a dozen years ago he published a little book of verse entitled “Stirrup Jingles,” which boasted the largest circulation of any Australian book of poetry, at any rate, till the days of “ Banjo ” Patterson and Henry Lawson. Considered as poetry the effort was weak, but it was Australian and racy of the soil and, therefore, acceptable to the boundary rider and stock driver. As a novelist Mr. Mackay has been moderately successful. “Out Back” is a characteristically bushrangery tale of the bush and “The Yellow Wave” is a prophetic vision of the ultimate supremacy of the Oriental in Australia. Mr. Mackay sat for his local district in the N.S.W. Assembly till the formation of the present Ministry when he resigned his seat and entered the Council as representative of the Government and VicePresident of the Executive Council. He lias been connected with the local defence force for a long time, and he was instrumental in organising the regiment known by the pretentious designation of the “ Australian Horse.” Genial and popular he will do all that is required of him.

GENTLEMEN

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The Freetrade Democrats of Victoria, although possessing the brains of their movement, received from the general public small sympathy and less cash. Recognising the necessity of funds for the Federal campaign, they recently coalesced with the wealthy one man society known as the Free-trade League, but not without some damage to their democracy. The Murray Smith Co. extorted from the F.D.A. delegates a promise that they would not nominate any ladies for a seat on the governing council. One or two members, still clinging to the remnants of their radicalism, made a vigorous protest to the effect that, if the Association accepted subscriptions from women, it should not debar them from office, but they were silenced with the assurance that So-and-So would refuse to join. What is a principle compared with a handsome donation ?

F. L. Austin in the Spear, London, suggests that Britain has the same right to object to the Boers trekking out of her territory, and setting up an independent alien state on its borders, as the United States have to the Mormons trekking out of their territory, and setting up an alien independent state on their borders.

Theo. W. Heide, in addition to being the best show organiser in this country, edits an A.N.A. monthly newspaper, called the Advance Australia. Heide picked the Advance Australia up something over twelve months ago, and converted it from a flabby, characterless sheet into an agressive monthly, that has “ discovered ” one or two nativeborn newspaper men of some promise. It is rumoured that Heide intends converting the Advance Australia from a mouthy to a weekly newspaper.

Kitchener of Khartoum seems to be forcing a tardy recognition even from the British Army-people. A recent number of the Army and Navy, semi-official, semi-popular weekly, calls him the “Organiser of Victory” in South Africa. It alleges that when Kitchener got to Natal, the whole transport and army organisation was chaotic, and three weeks afterwards it was working like an automatic machine. Also the Army and Navy infers that the defeat and capture of Cronje, were the direct results of this organisation.

* * *

The Kaiser seriously believes in the divine origin of his authority, claiming that he is descended— through Queen Victoria—in an unbroken line from Biblical King David, and that he therefore belongs to the same family as the founder of Christianity. Previous to the revolution, the Kings and Dauphins of France went further in this farce and described themselves as first cousins of the Almighty : “Les cousins du bon Dieu.”

* * *

The failure to assassinate the Prince of Wales, after firing from so short a distance, is remarkable, and calls to mind a lecture on Republicanism, delivered some years ago by a well-known North Melbourne medico. As an argument against monarchy the speaker read an alarming list of the attempts at regicide for the century. A critic subsequently pointed out that the percentage of deaths was very small and that a far greater proportion of presidents had been murdered. To this the genial

M.D. replied, “ That shows a monarchy makes men bad shots.”

E. C. Buley, “ Oudeis,” recently of this paper, and Henry Lawson, the poet, have gone to London to seek the fortune that this country denied them. The Outpost is not going to adopt to them the patronising attitude of a mediocre mind displayed by a contemporary by suggesting that “ distant hills look greenest.” Instead it repeats the statement it recently received from George Griffiths, that “ in London journalism there's plenty of room at the top—and half way up, too.” Also it wishes them great good luck. Buleyjes-pecially should receive instant recognition. As an all-round journalist of the modern school he was good ; as a specialist in descriptive work he was of the best.

On the 10th of March last Albert Edward of Wales and his Princess celebrated their thirty-seventh wedding-day.

Our Melbourne dailies have yet to learn that the first principle of a first-class paper is to keep the news columns for news, and the views columns for views. The patent medicine theory of journalism which mixes quack inferences with a modicum of information is very annoying to the healthy reader. One line of fact lost in three of imagination and half a column of misrepresenta-is not even palatable to a partisan.

Way back Victorian selectors don’t trouble much about wearing apparel. There are no neighbours to speak about within a three mile radius, and there are few churches ; and if there were churches the Victorian wayback men (unless they were Irish) wouldn’t attend them. There are few schools also, and where there are schools they can be dodged. It is no uncommon sight in the out-back scrub to meet men clothed in garments made out of flour sacks or youngsters clad in hessian. Up the Murray there is an old fellow who patches his pants with Government fire notices that he pulls off trees on the roadside. The fire notices have got so scarce for five miles around the old man’s hut that recently the local shire officials had to visit him and copy a fae-similie whilst the old chap touched ground with his fingers.

Louise Michael, La Vierge Rouge of the Paris Commune, has started a, London monthly called Sound. It is being promoted as “ an organ of International Peace.” The “Red Maiden” who now espouses general peace is blamed by the French middle classes for the worst excesses of the Commune.

* * *

Winston Spencer Churchill as a war correspondent is not taken seriously either by warriors or pressmen. Bennett Burleigh has already written him down as a “ medal-hunter,” and his much-boomed book on the Omdurman Campaign does not contain a fact in the chapter on that battle that G. W. Steevens had not already published in his previously published account. This would say a great deal for modern journalism if the comparison had been made with a work of a serious nature, but the River War is merely a garrulous farrago of second-hand information.

* * #

“ Have you fixed up your Federal deputation ?” asked the wily politician of a country member. “ What deputation ?" vacantly queried the M.P. for Cow Flat. “A deputation requesting you to sink your personal feelings and offer your services to the Federal Parliament,” answered the artful one. “ By gosh,” exclaimed the statesman, 11 Cow Flat or my canvassers must wait upon me at once.”

* * *

Duncan Gillies parades his obscurity every afternoon on the Block. When not struggling hard to look as if he were going to do something he will pose as a study of the Light of Other Days. The uninitiated are apt to think when he is seen gazing with Sphinx-like vacancy into the passing crowd that he is hatching a conspiracy whereas the seriousness may come only from cold chicken arid claret.

Premier McLean and his Ministers are busily engaged mapping out the Federal constituencies At a recent Cabinet meeting the sage of Maffra set his pupils the following problem in electoral district geometry :—Given the base of a solid support in your own Constituency, construct thereon the most acute triangle that can possibly lie in the district of your opponents.

They were discussing the next election chances of a silent M.P. from Gippsland. “Don’t you think our A.N.A. lawyer can beat him ?” asked the young man. “No,” said the old farmer, contemptuously. “ But,” urged the dealer in perorations, “what is the good of your member? He never speaks in Parliament.” “ May be,” said the settler, “ but he is a first-class forwarding agent. He charges no commission, and will buy an elector anything from a plough to a perambulator. Why just afore last election he brought in his own pocket a feeding bottle for our own baby. He-.”


|. A. Andrews, poet, anarchist and wanderer, was present as a guest at the recent Trades Hall feeding. He has had a lurid existence since Templeton discharged him from the Civil Service twelve years ago. He started the “ Fire Low and Lay ’Em Out ” row that is Colonel Tom Price’s present claim to fame. Then he went to Sydney and got imprisoned for seditious publishings. In appearance he is singularly like another Melbourne poet who dates the beginning of things from the French Revolution. His present intentions are quite pacific.

Noticeable that (he Argus and the Tocsin were not called upon to respond to the Press Toast by the Eight Hours feeders on Saturday. Instead they chose the Age, which is drab colour, and the Herald, which is colourless. It was the Tocsin representative who remained seated during I he Queen Toast at the same gathering last year, not as a matter of choice, but in the effort to follow logically the scarlet politics of a scarlet paper-Perhaps the efforts of the Hall to wear long hair and velveteen jackets, and say noledgc a la Tillet, have made it tired of the organ that called him “ the Christ of Labour."

* * *

Fate may not only try to conceal a man by calling him Smith ; it might hide him under the shadow of a name like Pitt, Gladstone or Isaacs, Mr. John A. Isaacs, for instance, thoroughly understands this, and consequently subdues himself as a speaker    and    politician.    Neverthe

less, if lost sight of in Melbourne, BrothelJack shines as the guide, lawyer and friend of every man, woman and infant in his electorate. The adage on familiarity, argues Mr. Isaacs, was not meant for politicians.

* *    *

George Wyndham, M.P., is the alleged "handsomest man ” of the British House of Commons. He is a great-grandson of Irish Rebel Lord Edward Fitzgerald.

* *    *

Some South African town-name origins. Kimberley was called after the Earl of that name, one time Colonial Secretary. Mullens was christened after Sir John Moltens, who took part in the Kaffir war of 1846 and was afterwards Premier of Cape Colony. Harrismith was derived from Sir Harry Smith, and the recently besieged town that lost Steevens, among other people, was named after his wife. Related that Sir Harry Smith’s wife was a Spaniard, who look refuge in the British lines during the siege of Badajoz.

The Earl of Dundonald, who rode at the head of the first troops to enter Ladysmith, is burdened with the baptismal category of Douglas Mackinnon Baillie Hamilton Cochrane. Curiously enough the tenth Earl of the family, although a great naval fighter and a naval reform agitator, got into deep water in a shady financial speculation and suffered fine, imprisonment and public exposure ¡11 the pillory. Subsequently he left England and commanded the Chilian Navy. The Barony was created in 1.647.

* * *

Cyclists in the States are raising funds for the building of a trunk cycle-path from New York to Chicago, and it is proposed to avail themselves of the chain-letter system as a meahs of getting subscriptions. There are about 2,000,000 cyclists in the United Stales who can be reached in this way, and the money so raised should be more than sufficient to pay the expenses of the projected construction, and give it a push on towards the Pacific: Coast. I11 order to preclude the chance of any unauthorised public imposition, the matter is to be placed in the hands of a properly appointed commission ; the country will be divided into districts, each in charge of a superintendent, and representatives will be appointed in the large cities ; all of these positions will be wholly honorary. Each cyclist will be requested to contribute about ten cents or more, and to communicate with three of his friends, asking them to follow the lead. The idea is a good one, and should work out successfully.


scribes like the present with a fine big space upon which to paste little tilings like this.


MARSHALL-HALL.

Marshall*Hal I is almost an epigram ; lie altogether a paradox. He is an artist and he is an agitator, but never both simultaneously, for his art is never agitalivc, and his agitation is never artistic. His effects always just fall short of success, and to fail with him is to be ridiculous. While in Melbourne he has essayed many parts Professor, Poet,Social Preacher, Education Reformer, Composer and Conductor. Perhaps, only as a Conductor has he been entirely satisfactory, although even in that capacity, he has not altogether pleased Argus Music Critic Guenett, which, however, may only be an additional certificate of success. In each of the other aspirations he has only been so so. He has startled, but has seldom thrilled, and too often he has simply jarred. The irritating thing about him is that he so frequently nearly “got there,” seems to know it, and, in sheer wanton mischievousness, mars the climax with some hideous discord in thought, treatment, or taste. He will spoil a book of good poems with a banal title, and a splendid concert with a silly speech on Bismarck a hi Nielschc. Heaven knows what folly he would be guilty of if he made a public appearance during the excitement of the war. Already tie has declared that “ the war is magnificent—it is so beautifully unjust !" Probably he would solemnly dedicate a concert to Kruger as he once did to Henrick Ibsen, on the memorable occasion when the . ligwx skittishly suggested that most of the audience thought the Professor was referring to some person named Henry Gibson—and no doubt they did.

The leading feature in the Professor's exuberant character is “go." He throws all bis energies into everything tie undertakes, and his achievements as well as his follies are ascribable to his excessive enthusiasm. When he first came to Melbourne as the Ormond Professor, at ¿1000 a year, he was amazed at the shadowy duties attached to the occupancy of the Chair of Music, and he immediately proposed the Conserva-torium, which stands as a monument both to his zeal and bis solid ability. The institution was an experiment in which he got no very warm official encouragement, and it has proved a success beyond even its founder's expectations. In those early days of Marshall-Hall’s Melbourne career he was a splendid specimen of a Wagnerian hero, going forth cheerfully and brimful of ideals to war with the evils of the world. The big, loose-limbed, young Professor, six feet three or four in his stockings, lived his life with a line joyous* ness which burst from him in an

Homeric laugh and spent itself in classic pleasures, in dead earnest was he, too, whenever he set out to lecture a Town Halt full of Philistines, although there was something Mephistophelian in the laughter with which he commented on the often ludicrous results, ft was at this time that he rejected with scorn the offer of one of the University Mansions as a residence. He didn’t want Professors swapping views with him over his back-yard feme. Nor did lie want Professor’s wives in his drawing-room at afternoons eating their bread-and-butter, drinking weak tea and asking him to accompany them on the piano while they sang “ Two

Little Girls in Blue 1” The Professor's next emotion was to write. This was his undoing. The first published effort was “ Irene,” artistically printed, with a poppy by Arthur Streeton on the cover. Then the Professor went to Sydney, and his hymn to that plague-stricken city was his next message to an anxious audience. Very soon followed “ Songs and Canticles,” and people began to wonder when it was ail going to end and how. The answer came in the bomb-shell-book, “ Hymn’s : Ancient and Modern.” The Argus wanted to wipe off a lot of old sores, and the Rev. Fitchett was turned on to hold Marshall-Hall up to the world as a monster of immorality and impiety. He did it so well (hat people almost believed ; but, fortunately, the much be-rated Philistines came to the rescue of the Samson, who had so often assailed

MARSHALL-HALL-AN IMPRESSION.

them with the jawbone of an ass, and Samson saved by the Philistines, Marshall-Hall rescued by the Vulgar Mob, became a spectacle for the gods.

The Professor issued from the imbroglio with the aid of a lawyer ! Rudyard Kipling, the singer of Empire and Soldier’s prowess, once summoned his brother-in-law to a police Court for assault. Marshall-Hall, miserable and igniminious, wriggling from a position in which he was only caught by his own championship of freedom, is an appropriate companion picture. He disgusted all his friends, and came out of the affair shorn of all his force. As a leader he could no longer be reckoned with, and all his subsequent brave words have been received with pitying smiles. But he retained a few faithful followers and these have continued to parrot the current creed of their Master. They are characterised by an inflated conceit in themselves, and a high and mighty contempt for the crowd. Their supercilious attitude towards the rest of the world is “ Hands Off I" “ Hands off our sky, our sea, our stars, out storms, our night, our godlike ecstacies. You may look at our pictures, read our poems, listen to our songs and admire us, but you must not dare to worship Nature—she belongs to us, the High Apostles of Art.” This is, of course, the very bigotry of mediocrity, and is as humorous as bumptious egotism always is.

The Professor’s next public exhibition of himself was as a University Extension Lecturer. His subject was “ The Essential in Art” and in a series of six lectures he succeeded in saying nothing original, and in graving his name more deeply in history as a champion phonographic sausage machine. The first lecture was enough to those who take Art seriously. It was an impudent jumble of the skim milk of the fantastic theories of modern pseudo—scientists like Nietsche, garnished with the crude llip-pancies of the Professor's own particular brand. Each succeeding lecture contradicted its predecessor, and, though the lot showed up better in cold print, stripped of the idiotic impromptus which accompanied their delivery, they stand as an amazing example of what a University Professor had the audacity to send forth as authoritative axioms of Art. In the first utterance he spoke scorchingly and with all the scorn of a shallow thinker and narrow observer of the stupidity of the people and the folly of giving them education. Before he had finished the series, he had formulated a scheme whereby he himself proposed to go to the State Schools and teach the children of the people whose unsusceptibility to ideas he had previously derided In this he took himself very seriously and, with Alfred Deakin, actually waited on the Minister of Education to detail his scheme. But it had no details, and die Minister was easily able to dismiss it as a mere chance idea caught by a brain powerless to build it into a system. The scheme vanished, and has never since been heard of.

* * *

Yet when Marshall-Hall knows what lie is about, lie is almost masterly in his executive skill, and would be wholly so if only his inartistic and vulgarly emphasised eccentricities were spontaneous instead of imitative and deliberate. The Conservator-ium lias already been mentioned ; he has raised the standard of die Melbourne Liedertafel, and the Orchestra is another achievement similarly admirable. This organisation is managed upon the most socialistic principles, and in this the Professor's practices are entirely ir. opposition to the individualistic principles which he so loudly and volubly preaches. Indeed, die whole personality, the same public performances and die private life of the Professor are in opposition to the boisterous barbarisms which have made him so often cut a foolish figure. This is a great pity, although it is useful, inasmuch as it provides

The Professor’s next public appearance will be as the author of a Greek play. He studied “ Alkestis ” very closely in order to write his exexcellent setting to the tragedy, but only to come from liis task with the firm conviction that Euripides’s tragedy was not worthy of Marshall-Hall’s music. The remedy was obvious ; Marshall-Hall had to write a Greek play himself, just to show the Shades of the Ancients how they should have done it. This is so modern, so Marshall-Hailian, is it not ? Of course it may appear somewhat ludicrously artificial, insincere and presumptuous

that at this stage of eternity an Australian Musical Professor should write a Greek play in English ; it may expose a paucity of imagination and a plenti-tude of monkey imitativeness ; but it will prove conclusively that Marshall-Hall understands Greek, and what more does an ignorant public want ? In one of the Russian novelist, Pushkin’s, stories there is the the tale of an Italian improvisators, who was advised to give a performance in Petersburg. “ But the people will not come, they do not understand Italian !” he exclaimed. “ That Is the very reason they will come,” was the reply, “just to prove that they do understand Italian!” For a similar reason Marshall-Hall is writing a Greek play.

* * *

Taking him all round Professor Marshall-Hall is perhaps the most picturesque, if not the most powerfully influential personality in Australian intellectual life ; if he were not so ostentatiously conscious of this himself he would also be the most amiable. So we come to where we started from : He is almost an epigram, altogether a paradox.

My dear Muriel.—1 shall have to write yon quite a long letter if 1 am to tell you all that has happened this week. There has been quite a rush of events after the comparative slackness which prevailed before Easter. Everyone seemed to have returned from their country holiday in improved health and spirits, though complaining bitterly of the rain, which unceasingly damaged both their plans and their persons, and which slowly converted earth tennis courts into quagmires and croquet-lawns into marshes. Country house parties had to content themselves with playing games on the verandah (fortunately most country houses possess one), dancing in the evening, and an occasional tramp through puddles, to return dripping and muddy to seek solace by roaring fires.

The Geelong Tennis Tournament took place as usual in spite of depressing weather, and a good many spectators were present at the courts on Saturday and Monday, though naturally smart toilettes had to be left at home in favor of the universal mackintosh. “It was too bad,” said a pretty girl of my acquaintance, “ but I wasn’t going to be done out of wearing my new hat, so I put it on in spite of the rain, and I noticed that a good many others did likewise. They did help to smarten up our old dresses a bit.” On Saturday evening an entertainment was given in the Recreation Hall by the girls of Geelong ; there was dancing, interspersed with songs and music.

Flay was resumed on Monday in spite of the rain. Lord Richard Neville was expected to take part in the tournament, and was to have been Mr. Philip Russell’s guest at “ Osborne House,” but he was prevented by official duties from coming down. The annual Easter Tennis Ball was held in the evening at the Recreation Hall. There was rumoured to be a shortness of men, but a good many came in from camp at the beginning of the evening, and the many pretty girls present had no lack of partners. The dance was an unqualified success, and was acknowledged to be one of thebest assemblies ever held in Geelong. The entrance hall was effectively decorated with scenery and palms, and the ball-room looked bright and pretty with its mirrors and draperies.

1 he only fault to be found was that something had been put on the floor which rose in a cloud and made people s eyes smart. This was not, however, a serious drawback to the enjoyment of the evening, as dancing was kept up with spirit till 3.30 a.m. There was an unusual number of pretty women and handsome dresses. The young married women as usual carried off the palm in the matter of dress, and 1 heard on all sides that Mrs. T. Hawkes was the acknowledged belle of the evening in a lovely white satin frock, covered with silver sequins. Mrs. Philip Russell looked striking in pale blue satin, covered with blue chiffon. Mrs. Stuart McArthur wore a charming frock of white satin, veiled with pink chiffon, and old lace on the bodice. The three debutantes, Miss Routledge, Miss Stoddart and Miss Forrest, all looked well in their fresh white frocks. The majority ot the dresses were white, or white relieved with red. The latter combination was prettily carried out in the frocks of Miss E. Guthrie, Miss E. Browne and Mrs. M illie Buckland. Miss Molesworth, who has lately returned from England, wore cau-dc-nil, and Miss Ita Murray, from Colac, wore a becoming frock of grey crcpe-dc-clune. Miss F. Nasymth wore white, and the Miss Papenhagens, two pretty girls from Ballarat, who were much admired, wore becoming frocks of white. Tuesday being fine, there was a gay assemblage at the courts. A number of spectators came down from Melbourne for the day, and everyone appeared in their new winter costumes, gay parasols being a great feature. Among the spectators were Mrs. Monty Douglas and her guests, Miss Browne, Miss Bell and Miss Coots ; Miss Guthrie and Mrs S. McArthur, Miss Clara Wilson, Miss E. Calvert, Miss A. Calvert, Miss Papenhagen, Other visitors were Mrs. Riddell Stanley, Mrs. Parbury, Miss Dewers, Miss Calder, Miss Vera Gardiner, Miss Maidment.

* * *

Miss Stanbridge u'as married on Wednesday, ifith inst., at Christ Church, South Yana, to Mr. H. Cox, of “ Fernhill,” Mulgoa, N.S.W. Mr. II. Brush was best man. About 250 guests were present. Punctually at 2 o’clock the bridal party arrived at the church, and the bride was led up the aisle by her uncle, Mr. Colles. Her handsome white satin gown was made with transparent lace yoke and sleeves, and her long train was carried by the little twin daughters of Dr. Walsh, of Kew, in. white silk frocks and large white hats. She wore a plain tulle veil, and her ornaments were a diamond star, gilt of the bridegroom, and a pearl neck star, gift of Mr. and Mrs. Colics. The four bridesmaids were Miss Enid Hope (cousin of the bride), Miss Cox, Miss Blanche Watson and Miss Marjorie Brodribb. They wore white crSpc-dc-chine frocks over accordeoh-pleated underskirts and picturesdue black hats lined with while, and carried large bouquets of crimson llowcrs and autumn leaves. The dresses were all made by Mrs. Seles previous to her departure for England.

I he church was prettily decorated with autumn leaves and arches of white flowers. After the ceremony the guests were received at “ Cheimer ” by Mr. and Mrs. Tims. Colies and the bride and bridegroom, and the wedding tea was served in a maiquee. It was a most orderly and well-conducted wedding ; everything went smoothly and the bride looked charming. The going-away dress was of brown cloth, trimmed with bands of black velvet and folded waist-belt of yellow panne. Before leaving Mrs. Cox found time to again shake hands with most of the guests and to speak a few parting words to each. The honeymoon will be spent at “ Gracedale House.” I noticed among the guests Mr. and Mrs. Cruickshank, who have just returned from England. Mrs. Cruick-shank wore a becoming gown of the new heliotrope shade, with bands of guipure lace insertion and a blue hat. She was accompanied by a very pretty Sydney girl, Miss Marks, who lias been travelling with her, and who wore a heliotrope cloth coat and skirt, with a large white satin collar, black beaver hat with feathers, large grey muff and boa. Another Sydney visitor was Miss Clara Manning. Janet Lady Clarke wore a becoming grey silk costume, relieved with bands of black velvet and black toque. Miss Clarke wore a smart red costume, bodice covered with cream guipure lace, led toque. Mrs. Percy Chirnside looked charming in a cream voile over pale blue, blue toque with pink roses. Other guests were Mr. and Mrs. Evcrard Browne, Major and Mrs. Hughes, Mis* Nina Cotton, Mr. and Mrs. Derham Armytage, Mrs. T. Hope, Canon and Mrs. Tucker, the

Misses Armytage, Mr. and Mrs. Turnbull, Mrs. and Miss Staughtou, Mrs. Brodribb, Dr. and Mrs. Wood, Mr. and Mrs. Kiddle, Miss Fisken, Mis* Brush, Miss E. Browne, Mis* Wilson, Miss Guthrie, Miss F. Bullivant, Miss Ffrench, Lord Richard Neville, Mr. Win. St. L. Robertson, Mr. Edwin King, Mr. Godfrey Whitson.

On Thursday, 19th inst., an afternoon “At Home” was given by Mrs. Bullivant, at “ KaL andra,” South Yarra, to bid farewell to Mrs. Albert Austin and her daughters, who sail for England next Tuesday, in the “ Australia.” Mrs. Austin was unfortunately prevented by indisposition from being presentSongs, recitations and instrumental music took place during the afternoon and fortune-telling was one ot the attractions. The decorations of autumn leaves, red dahlias and carnations were most effective. Some ol the guests were Mrs. [as. Aitken, Miss F. Aitken, Mrs. and Miss Turnbull, Mrs. L. L. Lewis, Mrs. Alec. Murphy, Mrs. Evven Campbell, Mrs. Stevenson. Mrs. S. Staughtou, Mrs. and Miss Kiddle, Mrs. and Miss Tyler, Miss Leake from Tasmania and her sister, Miss Gellian, Mrs. S. M'Arlhur, Miss Poolman, Miss Bartrop.

/V Garden hete was held at“ Fairlie,” Anderson -street, South Yarra, the residence of E. G. Fitzgibbon, Esq., in aid of Christ Church Day School. It was opened by Mr. Fil/gihbon in the absence of Lady Clarke, who was away at Miss Calvert’s wedding. There were cake, sweets, and decorated bicycle competitions. Two concerts were given during the aiternoon. There was a fair attendance. .* * *

Colac was fortunate in having a fine day for Miss Calvert s wedding, as line weather is a rare occurrence in that district at this time of year. A large number of guests came up by the special train, which arrived earlier than was expected, quite half an hour before the wedding, which took place at one o’clock. Among those who came up from Melbourne were Mr. and Mrs. Irvine and her sister, Miss Wanliss, Mr. and Mrs. S. M‘Arthur, Messrs, and Miss Muller, Miss Sluiter, Mr. and Mrs. Wm. Stawell (sister of the bridegroom), Mrs. Murray-Smith, Mrs. Stoddart, Mrs, G. Chirnside, who stayed at “ Trrewara 1 louse,” Miss Ffrench, Mrs. F. Russell, from Geelong. Mr. and Mrs, Colin Templeton, Mr. Ted Fitzgerald, Mr. H. Brush, Mr. and Mrs. W. 11. Bullivant, Miss Bullivant and Mrs Bertram Armytage, while from the district and Camperdown were : —Mr. and Mrs. S. Carrie, Mr. and Mrs. W. Manifold, Mrs. Chester Manifold, Mr. and Mrs. Stuart Murray, Mr. and Mrs. Chas. Lorinier, Misses Robertson and Mr. Win. St. L Robertson, Mr. and Mrs. Winter Cooke, Mr., Mrs. and Miss Cobh, Mr. and Miss Murphy, Messrs Ernest, George and Colin Robertson, H. E. Bullivant and H. Parsons.

All the vehicles ol the district were in requisition, besides a number of hired ones, and the guests were at once driven to the church, which is only a few minutes’ walk from the station. The church was beautifully decorated with autumn leaves. The bride looked extremely handsome in a rich and simple white satin gown and tulle veil.

I hear from the few favoured ones, who were privileged to see the trousseau on the previous day that she has some lovely things, but the preference for simplicity, which has always characterised Miss Calvert’s taste in dress, is noticeable thr .ughout. The bridesmaids were two Miss Lyons, sisters of the bridgegroom, Miss Brush and Miss Eva Robertson. They were followed by four little bridesmaids, two little Miss Crossmans, Miss Audrey Chirnside and Miss Stawell. Lord Richard Neville was best man. The bridesmaids wore simple white satin gown , artistically draped with chiffon fichus, and black picture hats lined with while,and carried posy bouquets of miniature pink roses, lied with blue ribbons, in picturesque bouquet holders, swathed with white satin and edged with real lace.

The bridegroom who bad been the guest of Mi-Manifold at Camperdown, nearly lost his train to Colac, if be had done so it would have occasioned a serious hitch in the proceedings, but “ all’s well that end s well,” as be arrived safely and in good time.

“Tnewarra House” is charmingly situated on a

Avoid Counterfeits of Wolfe’s Schnapps

slight rise in the plains, about three miles out of Colac, and formed a pretty background to the gaily dressed crowd. The tennis court was covered by a huge marquee. After being received in the house, the gtiesls were conducted down a long covered passage, draped with flags, which led from the house to the marquee, where they were provided with a sumptions wedding breakfast. The tables were decorated entirely with white cosmos, which had a light and charming effect. The bride went away in a navy blue coat and skirt, and navy blue hat with white paradise plumes. Mr. and Mrs. Gordon Lyon left, late in the afternoon, for Geelong, cn route for *' Ercildoun,” the estate of the late Sir Samuel Wilson, where the honeymoon is to be spent,

* * *

I bear that Mrs. Rowley has, after all, been able to join her husband in Sydney. They will sail for England in the “ Orizaba.”

Miss Nancy O'Loghlan intends to sail for England in the “ Wileannia ” at the end of this month, to pay a visit to some relations in England.

in the absence of Mrs. Albert Austin, Mrs. Murray-Snaith will assume the presidentship of the Children’s Hospital Ladies’ Committee, and Mrs. Turnbull will be vice-president.

* * *

The engagement is announced of Mr.Thos. Hos-toek, of Geelong, to Miss Ella Mackinnon, eldest daughter of the late Mr. Mackinnon, of Marida

Yalloak, Camperdown.

* * *

A dance will be given by Mrs. Cochrane, at her house al Camberwell, on the 26th inst.

On Wednesday, 25th inst., at the Scots’ Church, Toorak, Mr. Norman Brown, fourth son of the late Mr. G. Brown, of Tuppal Station, Jerilderie, N.S.W., is to be married to Miss Macpherson, St. George’s Road, Toorak.

* * *

Although the season is well advanced and nearly everyone has now returned to town, their is still a distinct lack of amusements and entertainments in the social world, and “ war and rumors of war,” with the latest scraps of news from plague-stricken Sydney, seem the chief topics of conversation. Sewing-bees for the 11 absent-minded beggar,’’ bazaars and garden fêtes have taken the place of more frivolous amusement, and I am quite afraid to meet any of my philanthropic friends, lest they should beguile me into helping at a stall, or carry-home a large bundle of work “just to finish off, you know.” They say our soldiers at the front are positively in rags ; Ibis is very harrowing and one feels so powerless lo do anything for them, as, judging from the many sewing bees which 1 have attended, there were no garments which appeared at all suitable for out-door use. The only thing for us to do is to abuse the supply stores.

The sewing bee held by Lady Clarke on Monday evenings, at “Cliveden,” for the purpose of providing hospital necessaries for the soldiers and garments for South African refugees, continues to prosper. It is conducted on most practical lines and much useful work is turned out, to the accompaniment of light-heated chatter and an occasional song. Among the workers are Mrs. Goe, Mrs. Hooper, Mrs. F. !’. Ryan, Miss Guthrie, Mrs. Bird and Mrs. A. Murphy. Lady Clarke’s charming knack of setting everyone at her ease, and her great interest in the work do much towards making the meeting popular.

The first meeting of Time and Talents was held ai “ Cliveden,” on the afternoon of Tuesday, 10th inst. Nearly all the old members seemed to be there, and a few new ones were added to the list. Lady Clarke was in the chair, and after she had welcomed the members in a short speech, the usual business was transacted. Everyone was glad to see Mrs. Officer back in her usual place.


Mrs. Officer is an indefatigable worker and has just returned from London, where she has had opportunity for observing the management of the head centre of Time and Talents, of which this is merely a branch. One of the features of the afternoon was a presentation to Miss Austin, the retiring secretary, who leaves shortly for England. The presentation took the form of a handsome embossed silver tray and photograph frame, which was presented by Lady Clarke, with the good wishes of the society.

* * *


I must not allow the subject of sewing bees and meetings to obscure my mental horizon to the exclusion of everything else. The war is, of course, an absorbing subject, but one gets quite enough of it in the daily papers. The plague is a subject we would rather not think about, but it constantly obtrudes itself in all kinds of inconvenient and unexpected ways. I know of two young Melbourne ladies who are prevented from joining their fiancés in Sydney on account of infection. I should advise them to follow the example of Miss Madden, and be inoculated, though this is by no means a pleasant process, and not altogether free from danger, if one can judge by hearsay. It is very disappointing for Mrs. Rowley having been prevented from accompanying her husband to Sydney. I hear that she intends leaving for England by the “ Wileannia ” at the end of this month.

» * *

Mrs. Henry Box held an “At Home” at “ Iramoo,” Alma-road, on Tuesday afternoon, from 4 to 6, to which a number of friends were invited to meet her daughter, Mrs. Schotlietz, who is down on a visit from the country. Fortune-telling was one of the attractions, and a string band played at intervals during the afternoon. Among the guests were Mrs. Buckley, Mrs. Balls-Headley, Mrs. Leonard, Mrs. D. Mackinnon, Mrs. H. M. Chomley. Miss Kiddle, Mrs. and Miss Armstrong, Mrs. and Miss T. Aitken, Mrs. Levey, Mrs. Atkinson-Wood, and Mrs. Richard Casey.

I hear on good authority that Lady Stawell, who has lived in London for some years, intends to return to Melbourne at the end of November-Her son, Mr. Rudolph Stawell, is to be married soon, and after his marriage Lady Stawell will probably make Victoria her permanent home.

Mrs. Brodribb will return to her house— “ Gamely,” Wellington Parade, E. Melbourne, after Easter.

* * *

I am sorry to hear that Mrs. Douglas and her two daughters intend to remain so short a time out here, They are at present staying at the Esplanade Hotel, St. Kilda, and will probably return in the “Australia.” I heard someone say dolefully the other day, “ All the men are going to the war and all the women to England.” I am glad that this is not yet true, but it is really saddening to consider how many friends have left us this year. We may, however, congratulate ourselves upon the ones who have returned and who seem really gird to be back. Among these are Mr. and Mrs. Roland Graham, who are now staying at the Esplanade, and who are looking very well after their trip ; Professor and Mrs. Lyle, who have returned to their house in the University Grounds, and Mr. and Mrs. Tom Hall, of South Yarra.

* * *

Miss Maggie Armytage, youngest daughter of Mrs. Felix Armytage, of “Turkcilfi,” Winchclsea, was married last Tuesday to Mr. Chas. McIntyre, of “ Murdaduke,” Winchclsea. The wedding was a quiet one and the ceremony was performed in the house.


You wilt be interested to hear of the marriage of Miss Betty Alsop, who went to England last year, to Mr. Arthur Kennedy, of Lancashire, England. The wedding was to have taken place in


Switzerland, where Miss Alsop was staying, and Mr. Kennedy, who is an officer in the Imperial Yeomanry, was on the point of starting to join lies when his regiment was ordered to the front. On receipt of this news Miss Alsop at once started for England, and they were married from his brother’s home in Ulverston, Lancashire, the day before the departure of the contingent. Mrs. Kennedy followed her husband to the Cape, where she will find her skill as a trained nurse most useful.

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. . . THE .    .

5elf Same Spirit.

A STRANGE thing happened ; Cusher Benson was late. Five of the push were already under the lamp, two were within sight and the Acderlies whistle sounded from the direction of Queensberrystreet, where Dido Williams was to pick them up with a couple of beer-fighters. The Imps, were not the club to stand any nonsense and Cusher Benson was the foremost in advocating reprisals. As a committee-man of the Imps, be carried a resolution complaining to the Junior Football Association about the unsportsmanlike tactics of the Bouverie United Football Club, and as a private member of the Adderley oush he instituted a vigorous canvass of the locality for willing spirits desirous of having sly out of their opponents.

It was nearly nine o’clock when the Adderlies gave him up and straggled over to Carlton to find the positions of the Bouveroos abandoned and the foe gone.

Cusher Benson was not a deserter. He was as high-minded in his ideas of equity as the Chief Justice himself. Their methods differed slightly that was all. But on this night something more important than even the administration of Justice occupied his attention. He had made a discovery. The discovery knocked him clean out, but he took his ten seconds and came up with a square jaw and an ugly look. He shoved his hands deep in his pockets and for ten minutes he walked slowly round the dark edge of the old cemetery. He glanced at the white reminders of Melbourne’s grandfather’s and smiled. It was the awful smile of the man who has nothing to make him smile. Then Cusher Benson went to Solomon’s pawnshop and bought a revolver and a dozen cartridges. “Two's whips and three’s a heap,” he thought, “ but I can’t give the Yid his ten back or he might bite.”

Cusher loafed no longer. He rushed round the city bars—the fashionable high-class drinking shops all mirrors and red plush inquiring excitedly for Alec. Minter, better known as the Brazen Duke. The barmaids, serene in the dignity of their expensive jewellery, took Cusher’s sixpence for an infinitesimal beer and passed him on to the next bar. They were not accustomed to the company of a fringed youth, with bell-bottomed trousers. The foul maunderings of a drunken bookmaker or the humors of a gorilla-like nigger comedian were nightly experiences to be laughed over, but the presence of a larrikin in the bar was beyond all endurance.

Cusher was hot on the trail of bookmaker at one time. He left the back door of one hotel as Cusher entered the front and the girl, a more civil one than usual, hurried Cusher after him. Unfortunately Minter stepped into the side door of a music hall as he left the hotel and Cusher, tightly grasping the revolver in his coat pocket, actually jostled him in his rush past the doorway,

He found no bar wherein the Brazen Duke was not regarded as a warm personal friend. A bookmaker of evil repute and extravagant habits and perfect clothing cannot avoid popularity in a big city and the bars that Cusher was referred to were many and varied. The liquors were likewise, and baulked of his heart’s desire, Cusher began to feel resentful against the people who extolled the manifold virtues of the bookmaker who lay under sentence of death. After he had swallowed the tenth of his drinks, the situation became unbearable and when the barmaid suggested that he was a friend of the Brazen Duke he opened out. He had just heard an evil-minded jockey, at present not on speaking terms with the Y.R.C , telling an objectionable story in the language of the stable and the barmaid had smiled and laughed and called him by his Christian name. Consequently Cusher thought that no opinions of his could be properly-grasped by the girl except in language of the same sort. With the choicest invective of the Adderley be castigated the Brazen Duke and his sympathisers and when the barmaid responded in kind, and questioned his legitimacy in the most pointed manner, Cusher told her what he thought of her. She shrieked. From some mysterious portion of the building a thick set man in shirt sleeves appeared. Cusher divined his purnose and hit him in the eye. Then somebody threw a glass which grazed Cusher’s head, and the Add-rley retaliated by tossing a syphon of soda water at the mirrored shelves, scoring a “ floorer ’ of expensive liqueurs. Something else went through the air at this time and hit Cusher on the temple, just as he remembered he had a revolver in his pocket.

He came before the court next day with his name bracketed against an awful list of charges. The barmaid, with her paint off and a plain black dress, and a widowed mother to sit beside while the case was in abeyance, looked the picture of outraged innocence. She told her tale clearly and modestly, and wrote the words that Cusher had said on a piece of paper. Cusher cross-examined her in a way that one of the magistrates afterwards said was brutal and insulting, and told his own story with many repetitions and gave his private opinions of the barmaid and the customers and the quality of the liquor sold in the hotel before he could be stopped. I he police withdrew the charge of carrying loaded firearms and Cusher Benson, on the ground that he was a hard-working young fellow who had no previous convictions, was let of with three months by the chairman of the bench, who sometimes had a drink at the hotel himself.

1 he sentence itself didn t worry Cusher much. He was past worrying about trifles. He would lose his billet, he knew, but what use was a good billet it he hadn t Mary to share his earnings. What use was any billet til till when he was going to get hung soon. He looked at the gallows and pictured him-elf on it every time he passed under it on the way to the cook house lift ; counted all the notches in the edge of the drop that meant the death of a murderer and wondered whether his was to be on the right and left of them, and made straw baskets savagely in the triangular yard of the “separate” depot. Although, as a first offender, Cusher was not supposed to see any of the other prisoners, there are many things in gaol-life that are not in strict accordance with the regulations. A parcel of11 snout ” was one of these and it came into Cusher’s hands, with a brown paper cover, a “stiff” distributing the contents and a newspaper. The “stiff” did not interest Cusher, but he chewed the fig of tobacco he was entitled to as recipient of (he parcel and scanned the paper feveredly at the first chance. He saw that fighting had grown quite respectable since his conviction. Two nations were talking fight in loud tones, and pages were filled with sermons by eminent divines lauding the lust of battle and calling upon all true Christians to cut each other’s throats. “Things seem ter be a bit willin’,” commented Cusher. Then his eye struck a paragraph which was more important lo him than the threatened dismemberment of the Empire.

“ Mr. Alexander Minter, the well-known bookmaker, who was thrown from his buggy whilst returning from Moonee Valley last Saturday, succumbed to his injuries at Dr. Fitzgerald’s private hospital this morning. He was a thorough sportsman, a supporter—”

Cusher read no more. He got another such shock as when he had discovered the treachery of Mary and the punishment she had received at the hand; of the man who had wrecked both their lives for the whim of a passing hour. Then he rose. “ What ho 1” he cried and there burst from him a verse of a popular ditty, while he made the stone floor of his cell patter with the steps of the clog dance he used to give at the Adderley’s smoke nights.

The visiting iustices gave Cusher three days solitary. He came out and set to work with renewed vigor and the three months flew by on eagle's wings.

Cusher was released with a grotesque beard covering his chin. He had a shave at the barber’s shop, which exists by scraping discharged prisoners, and as he waited his turn he found that red war was in progress, that England was getting badly dealt with and that of all places in the world, Australia was going lo chip in. Young, vigorous, healthy men were to be sent—250 of them—to fight the Boers. Cusher thought, he was full of Melbourne, he was young, vigorous and healthy—ask the Bouveroos—and a war was a form of excitement that ought to lay over even a big football match or a Melbourne Cup.

“ What sorter blokes are these Boers ?” he asked Tip Trewartha later in the day.

“ Big black blokes like Peter Felix all on 'em, wit spears.”

"Go'n,yer balmy,” interrupted Jacko McCann, “ they're sorter German blokes, whiter’» you an’ me. But they're fair cows, 1 promise ver. A chap work w 1 h id a cousin out there he says they'd Weedin' well eat yer. They got a dynamite monoply and fire on the white flag.”

“ What for ? ” asked Gusher.

“Hanged ef 1 know,” said [acko, “they do. though.”

' V hat’s the good on firing at a flag. They must have rats,” suggested Cusher.

“ So they have,” responded jacko jumping at a way out 01 ihe difficult explanation, “ they're bad beggars and fair mad.”

“ Whatcher wan ter know about ’em for ?” ventured the discomfited Trewartha.

“Cos I’m goin' there to fight 'em,” replied Cusher.

“ Gawd,” said the others together. “ What for," queried Tip, “they might top yer off ?”

“ My troubles ef they do,” said Cusher. He went off to an acquaintance in the B battery to discover the full strength of enlisting for the Victorian contingent. He learned that only members of Ihe defence lorces would be picked, but he also learned, as he did in the gaol, that to make regulations is one thing and to have them carried out to the letter is another.

Cusher took next morning's train to Yatimukand sought out Private Helton of the Yatimuk Mounted Rifle Corps. Private Helton five years before had been a willing member of the Adderlies—so willing, in fact, that he had deemed it advisable to leave for the bush, where he had become an estimable member of society with an eye on the shire council. Through his influence, the name of William Aloysius Benson, drover, was added to Ihe roll ol the mounted rifle corps, and, with the loan of his uniform and his rifle, Cusher Benson returned to Melbourne and presented himself al the Victoria Barracks. Practice at the shooting galleries of the Eastern Market had made him able to draw a head and pull a trigger, three year's butchering in his early youth had taught him to ride anything with four legs, and 22 years of football, swimming and boxing had developed a frame that commanded the admiration of the military surgeons who passed him. Cusher Benson knew nothing of drill, but scarcely one of the volunteers did, a fact that was deplored in Melbourne at the time and vaunted in Soulh Africa afterwards He went into camp at Flemington, paralysed a few stray acquaintances with his uniform, marched through Melbourne on the greatest day it has ever seen and moved off on the poop of the Medic with a beer bottle waving to the tune of “ The Soldiers of the Queen.” Along Ihe beach at Port Melbourne were hundreds who waited till the last smoke of the Medic melted into the air, and among them was a girl, who cried and hated herself as she kissed the cheap silver brooch that Cusher had bought half a year before.

* * * * *

Sand in the foreground, stones in the middle distance and an horizon made of wavy hills, like the knuckles of a giant. Everything dull and drab, liven the fierce sunlight on the rocks painted them no brighter, and the shadows behind them were no less dull.

In the basin of the hills ahead, three horsemen, tattered, stained, dull as their surroundings, rode stealthily and apart, gazing ever forward and sideways, clambering the edges of the hills, crawling through the maze of boulders that hedged them. Three more horsemen followed two hundred yards behind, three of them together, the others like big hands feeling the safety of the country on either side. Now and again one or two of the men would be lost to view. Sometimes they would suspect a distant shadow and the men in the rear would ride forward closer till it was inspected- The land seemed deserted. Nothing but hills and boulders thrown together in wild anarchy.

“ Looks like Footscray without any grass an' a few hills," said Cusher Benson lo Ills two companions in the rear guard.

“ Rotten country,” asserted the man on the the right, “carry a lizard to the acre. What they want to fight for such a damn place is more than .

I can tell.”

“ Reminds me of bits of country roun’ Fucla when I overlanded to the West, when the diggin’s broke out,” said the third one. “ We had a terrible time, had to squeeze the mud in our shirts to raise a drink an’--”

“ What’s that ?” yelled Gusher. He pointed to a kopje to the right. Something was moving between them and the three scouts in front. Then a rifle rang out, then another and another and the kopje swarmed with men like an ant hill that has been trodden on. As the far trio swung round with their rifles up, the opposite kopje germinated five of the enemy, who opened fire on the rear guard. But Gusher had the horses round a corner and his mates were under better cover than the Boers, resting their rifles in the clefts of the rocks and firing steadily. A Boer in a boxer hat, ran the gauntlet of the fire and got within sight of Cusher and the horses. Gusher took a chance. He hopped off, gathered the bridles on his left arm, rested his rifle on the neck of his own mount and fired. The Boer dropped just at his cover, but Gusher knew he had scored, for the man’s rifle fell over the front of the rock. The three men ahead were galloping back at racing speed. On both sides the kopjes were spitting lead, but the horses kept their stride. The Boers, who had engaged Cusher and his mates, had been silenced all but one who had stripped the boulders covering the three Victorians and had put a shot through one of their hats.

" Yer must ’a’ killed all them blokes but one," called Cusher, “ not too stinkin’.”

Then he was pulled down as his horse fell on its knees, kicking to death with a bullet from the rear. Cusher rose and turned. He could see no smoke, but two more shots were fired from a kopje they had examined and found correct. The fugitives were galloping safely over the last forty yards moving for cover from the solitary Boer on the hillside. Cusher yelled desperately, “ Yow ! yow 1 they’s on both sides er yer ! ” A rattle of rifles sounded from the spot he pointed and two of the horses fell. Another of the batch he was holding came down an instant later and coming out of cover the corporal called, “ Get up behind us and we’ll go for the camp.” He said the last word as he stooped forward and slapped the sand with his chest. There was one less to carry.

Cusher rushed his horses out of cover to the dismounted men. He felt the fire turn on him, but reached them safely. He called to a Ballarat miner to come from cover, but the fellow sat behind his boulder grinning with the rifle in his hand. Cusher crossed to him. He was dead with a bullet through his heart. The West Australian fell with a shattered arm and dragged down the man that was in the saddle in front. The Mallee youngster had his horse killed under him as he was mounting him, and Cusher stood on in the bullet-sprayed valley, the only mounted man.

11 Get back to camp and we'll hold out under cover,’’ cried one of them yelling with delight as he fired and saw a Boer rise from his cover, throw up his arms and fall face downwards, cuddling the rock that had failed to protect him.

“ No fear,” said Gusher, “ I’m wif yer till the bell rings.”

The Boers were creeping down slowly, but gradually hemming the Australians in till one of them was able to yell out “ Surrender."

“ Dieken 1" yelled Gusher. “ Whatcher say ter havin’ a cut at ’em with the bayonets, we ain’t got no hope for long at this range."

" My oath,” said the Malice boy and the others fixed the blades to their rifles silently.

‘ Are yer all ready, chaps ?” called Cusher.

“ Then here goes." He rose like a Jack in the Box with four others behind him. The wounded Kal-goorlie man let go his wounded arm for a second to wave them a cheer.

“ Now then,” yelled Cusher. “ On the ball, Adderly ! Shake ’em up, lads ! Chew ’em up and spit ’em out 1 Tear their livers out !’’

He had been a player of note for some years, but he did not forget the time when he was a barracker and led the bayonet charge of five with the cries that had taken the Adderlles so often to victory and occassionally to the police court.

There was a big Boer fifty yards away, evidently with the last cartridge in his magazine for he was holding his fire. He let got at ten yards spattering the brains of the Mallee boy in Cusher’s face. A second later his hands were warm with | the blood that spurted from the Boer’s chest as he drove his bayonet hard against the boulder behind him. A bullet from his own men went through the head of the dying Boer as Cusher pulled his scarlet bayonet free, but the shooter was killed by another Victorian before he had time to fire again. Shouts and cries arose from all sides ; Cusher clambered on. He glanced round. He and the man ahead were the only ones left and three Boers lay in a cluster right ahead. One bullet took his mate in the leg, five yards from the rocks, but Cusher made on. A bullet grazed his cheek, another passed through the flesh of his shoulder. He never felt them.

He turned the corner of the rocks, knocked the rifle of the foremost to one side and raised his bayonet. The two remaining Boers pushed their rifles against his tunic, but Cusher let drive quickly. The Boer he aimed at fell dead and at the same moment the other two pulled their triggers and Cusher Benson died.

McG.

nympbolepsy.

(For The Outpost.)

Across the perished years I see her rise A sad divinity,

The memory of starlight in her eyes,

The mystery of the sea.

A spectre from the misty moonlight waking In argent draperies,

Her body in a nacreous glory breaking Through dark translucent seas.

Pearls set between the petals of her mouth,

And in her drifted hair,

One blood rose gleams, once gathered in the South Placed by dead passion there.

Her white sweet breasts that the kind gods have given

For altar-stones of rest—

But never by the fateful night winds driven Shall we regain her breast.

She is the love half-known in fresher years,

The goddess Time hath slain ;

The face that fills the withered heart with tears May yet not lift its pain.

But drifting, drifting on the old relentless Tides of the relentless heart,

By barren head-lands long deflowered and scentless,

Slowly she doth depart.

Yet In despite desire and all endeavour,

Her presence shall return ;

A vision that shall haunt the heart for ever,

Death only may inurn.

When as the stars, though caught in day’s eclipse, Again she shall arise—

The memory of roses in her lips

And starlight in her eyes.    L.L.

Or Kinks.

(For The Outpost.)

Away, away, O hearts of grace,

Strong hands at the helm of morn,

For the wind is fresh in each flashing face That skippers the Golden Horn.

O other sails have dipped to the gales Gone down to the winds of chance,

But we’ll tug her free from the tightest sea, For the sake of the Great Romance.

Ho ! lads, good lads of the jerkins buff,

Your breast-plates duly buckle !

Take horse, take horse, for the ways are tough Wtth broad blades strapped a-huckle.

So its on and in with the town to win,

For the clarioned battle nears—

O rise or fall, lads, hear the call To the loot of a thousand years.

O lowly scribes of the trusty pen,

The blue sky spans the sea ;

Good learned ones in the ways of men, There’s red fight over the lea.

O battle and sea but for you would be As the tale of a lost endeavour ;

So the clarions ring and the wild seas sing To the call of your words for ever.

L.L.


“ Tong ttlitfi Dirnib.”

(For The Outpost).

Upon the rock-strewn Cressv track that leads to Camperdown,

I was jogging most contentedly along ;

The view was fair and pleasing, the mare beneath was sound,

When suddenly abrupt I heard this song :—-“ I'm a bally busted wreck,

Us’ter talking through my neck.

The rifle I can't point,

Both my legs are out of joint,

But I’ll fight for Queen and Empire ’long with Dinah.”

The voice came on quite rapidly, it got profanely bad,

I swerved aside to give it passage roomy ;

And then an ancient, beery man upon an ancient prad—

A wind-galled, spavined, scurvy, toothless pony, Came slowly limping into view Singing : “ They will surely rue It, if the doctors toss me out ’Cause I’m either thin or stout,

To stop me from enlisting ’long with Dinah.”

I meditative soon did get upon this ancient rare, And speedily with questions ’gan to ply him ;

He viewed me with some doubt at first, but with a beersome leer,

Yelled, “ I’m old and cold and stiff, but still I’ll try ’em.”

Then he tapped his ancient nut,

And with toothless jaw said, “But, They'll swear I’m off my chump,

And am short here by a lump,

But I'd pulverise the rebels with my Dinah.”

Then off he went in haste, 'midst swirling, circling dust,

I stood and viewed him climb a distant hill ;

His hair was streaming wild, his joints seemed clogged with rust,

And facetiously I murmured, “ They could kill Him easy if in joke,

They made him use some soap ;

His legs were very bandy—

He might perhaps come handy,

As a geometric enrve along with Dinah.”

I oft now think of Dinah, and her rider so un. kempt,

Did they get to Melbourne city safe and sound ? Did he join the Bushmen brave, as he evidently meant,

Did he get locked up, or bilked, or simply drowned ?

Is the ancient whiskey wreck Still a-talking through his neck,

Or taking his last rest,

With a bayonet through his chest,

On Afric's blood-stained veldt ’longside of Dinah?

Herbert Dean.


The circulation of the Bulletin, although enormously increased by its Federal cartoons, has suffered considerably by an overdose of pro-Boer and Anglophobistic bunkum. True, however, to the instincts of its recently canonised Saint Kruger, it continues to defy British opinion and denies all losses. On local matters it has produced some vigorous leaders and still better verse, but it has yet to learn that it is possible for a man to write Australian poetry who has not been nurtured in its columns. Outside its tales and verse, the Bulletin still fulfils its old function of a weekly repository of the private piejudices of irresponsible contributors.


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“What Happened to Jones?" “’E were ung, sir !’’ was tire Herald boy’s answer in Phil May's phrase when the execution of the Broadford murder was announced simultaneously with the advertisement of Mr. Broadbent’s comedy. The Jones of Mr. Charles Arnold was certainly not dealt with by the hangman, but he decidedly should have been, did not the exigences of farcical comedy make it necessary for tragical provocation to end in laughter rather than slaughter. Not to be any longer equivocal, let it be said that if in real life any person tried to rollick through his mortal span after the manner of Jones, his progress would quickly end in the murder of himself, or of some innocent creature having the ill-luck to cross his path. His mission ini the delightful Princess farce is to mix things up with the most mirth provoking results, and the success of the effort is undeniable, so that Mr. Arnold will probably have no great cause to regret that the tragedy of grim war necessitated his rather precipitous flight from Pretoria to the Princess, Melbourne.

It is years since Mr. Arnold was last here, and then it was as “ Hans the Boatman,” the picturesque children's friend and the possessor of a handsome St. Bernard, who played a part as interesting almost as his owner’s. Now he—Mr. Arnold, that is, not the St. Bernard—appears in quite a different role and with just as distinct a success. He is a commercial traveller pushing a business in goods varying from playing-cards to hymn books, and capable of diversions ranging in versatility from assaulting the police to adopting the guise of a theological professor. It is in this character that he riots through a series of mos) comical situations, in which Mr. Arnold’s vivacious acting throws an atmosphere of probability around the wild and ingeniously absurd inventions of the author. No retailed description would serve to convey any proper idea of the rapid sequence of humorous scenes in the play, so it would be idle to attempt it. Sufficient is to say that the play is a success, and that Mr. Frederick B. Sharp—may he never B Flat—Mr. George Willoughby, Mr. Frank Denton, Mr. E. W. Thomas, Mr. Edwin Lester, Mr. A. H. Tasman, and Miss Agnes Knights, Miss Sallie Booth, Miss Dot Frederic, Miss Inez Bcn-susan, Miss Hope Mayne and Miss Ada Lee all combine with their principal to make the production a hit, and to stamp themselves as a first class company.

* * *

The curtain-raiser is not a familiar form oi theatrical “fill-up" to Australian audiences, who are rather inclined to resent it as a sort of plausible imposition. So, in fact, it frequently is, it being but seldom that anything so good as “ In Honour Bound,” for instance, is presented as an appetiser for the after-feast. “ An Empty Stocking,” which precedes “What Happened to Jones” is also an exception. It is a pathetic Santa Claus incident, in which genteel poverty is shown struggling against gratification of the time-honoured sentiment surrounding Father Christmas. In this a little girl, Miss Edna Arnold, plays a part with a pleasing childishness which happily is more pronounced than her wonderful cleverness. The other characters arc artistically represented by Miss Dot Frederic, Mr Denton, and Mr. George Willoughby.

War plays are, of course, a great attraction these days, and the actual performances of the public, themselves in the sphere of military hysterics, bring the wildest melodrama almost within the realm of reality. Even in piping times of peace military dramas are widely popular, and Mr. George Rignold with“ Youth ” could any day give a Peace Conference many points and then beat it easily as a popular attraction. It therefore goes without saying that when every thought and every talk has for its subject war, a melodrama with the same for its theme is bound to catch on. “ For Queen and Country ” at the Alexandra attempts the almost impossible task of beating the cablegrams in their fantastically improbable inventions, and with the aid of splendid mounting and plenty of powder, it succeeds. There is the usual villain dressed in a sombrero and cloak, from the gloomy folds of which issues at intervals a hoarse voice intimating that its owner is desperately interested in “ the papers.” These are the same old papers upon which a vast inheritance depends, and the villain pursues them all around the world, until like a treacherous will-o’-the-wisp they ultimately land him in disaster. Apart from this somewhat dismal individual’s share in it, the plot lends itself to some very picturesque scenes, in which numbers of soldiers, volumes of noble sentiments, and quantities of blank cartridges combine to stir the audience to tremendous enthusiasm. Mr. Alfred Woods, in the part of the hero, exhibits superior qualities as an actor, and is well supported by Miss Maud Williamson, who is, of course, an established favourite with Melbourne audiences. Other prominent parts are capably filled by Miss Nellie Mortyne, Messrs. Harry Hodson, A. W. Boothman, E. Grattan Coughlan, Charles Woods, Harry Beaumont and Godfrey Cass. On Saturday night 11 For Queen and Country ” will be replaced by “ Hands Across the Sea,” a popular, nautical, bellicose drama, first produced in Melbourne by Mr. Charles Warner.

* * *

“When the Lamps are Lighted ” will finish at the Theatre Royal this week, and on Saturday night a company under the management of Mr. William Anderson will stage still another military drama styled “The Ladder of Life, or Gordons to the Front.” The play is written around the famous Dargai Heights incident, and is forecast as “a great production.”

At the Opera House Mr. Rickards is unfortunately represented by a manager who possesses original and unpopular theories of theatrical politeness, which prevent the members of the Bijou Company from receiving those tributes of public appreciation to which their talents' undoubtedly entitle them.

♦ * *

“ The Flying Jordons,” who a year or two back created a sensation at the Theatre Royal, will on Saturday make their re-appearance at St. George’s Hall, where they will be an additional attraction to the permanent Australian Museum and New Waxworks show at that popular place of amusement.

* * *

At the Exhibition Building the Melbourne Hospital Bazaar continues to draw the crowd, an achievement greatly assisted by the splendid programmes of amusements nightly arranged. People with money to spend have plenty of opportunities pleasing presented by pretty girls, who tempt the charitable to spend, speculate, or give as the humor suits them ; while those whose purse will only afford a humble shilling may be certain of getting fully eighteen-pence worth of entertainment for their money.

* * *

Professor Marshall-Hall has developed the Melbourne Liedertafel into an important musical institution, and its announcements are always eagerly scanned by music lovers. The first concert of the present season will be given in the Town Hall, Melbourne, on Tuesday evening, the ist of May. The programme arranged is of exceptional interest, and includes the following numbers :—Beethoven’s Mass in C which will be rendered by solo quartette, chorus of 250 voices, full orchestra and organ ; Beethoven’s C Minor Concerto for pianoforte and orchestra ; Brahms’ Rhapsodie for contralto soloist, male choir and orchestra ; Gluck's Overture, “ Iphigenai,” first performance in Melbourne. The soloists engaged are—Mrs. Grace Miller Ward, a leading American soprano, who will make her first appearance in Australia, and sing the Grand Aria from “Dec Freischutz.” Miss Marie Richardson, contralto ; Mr. James Wade, tenor ; Mr. W. G. Barker, bass ; Miss Nellie Billings, pianiste. Mr. August

Siede will preside at the organ, and Professor Marshall Hall will conduct.

Among the works to be performed at future concerts are three new to Melbourne, viz., Brahms’ “ Gesang der Parzen” (Song of the Fates), Bach’s Mass in G, and an Elegy composed by Mr. August Siede.

* * *

Professor Marshall Hall’s orchestra will give its first concert at the Melbourne Town Hall on Saturday, May 5th.

Tanciiki.yx.

Massey-Harris riders as usual on Easter Monday annexed the principal races, Forbes winning the Five Mile Scratch at Ballarat, and C. E. Woods the Hospital Stakes, with Wilksch third at the Exhibition. George Sutherland on his Massey defeated Chalmers and Reynolds in the One and Twenty-live Mile Test Races in New Zealand; therefore this sturdy little rider will represent Maoriland in Paris, and should give a good account of himself against the World's cracks. *

R. W. Lewis, on his Dayton, won the Eight Hour's Anniversary Handicap by half a weed. This race was worth £ioo to the man first over the line. *

A WONDERFUL CURE. TWELVE YEARS A SUFFERER. A PATIENT IN THREE HOSPITALS. FULLY ONE HUNDRED DOCTORS ATTENDED HER, and DIAGNOSED HER CASE BUT COULD EFFECT NO PERMANENT RELIEF. VITADATIO CURED HER. READ HER TESTIMONY.

91 Collins-streel, Melbourne.

27II1 March, iqoo.

Mr. S. Palmer, 47 Bourke-st., Melbourne. Dear Sir,—For twelve years I was a sufferer of Bleeding Polypus in the Womb, and was treated by the best medical skill in Ballarat and Melbourne, without avail. I have been in three hospitals, but derived no permanent benefit from the treatment 1 received. 1 was advised to fry Vita-datio, and after taking a course of the medicine, I am completely cured. The medical men who attended me expressed their astonishment at my recovery, and stated if they had not attended me THEY WOULD NO r HAVE BELIEVED I HAD SUFFERED AS STATED. 1 write this for the benefit of similar sufferers, and you are at liberty to publish and make what use you like of it, —Yours truly, (Signed) M. BECKHAM.

P.S.—Altogether fully ONE HUNDRED DOCTORS attended to and diagnosed my ease.—M.B.j ANOTHER WONDERFUL CURE.

BRIGHT’S DISEASE CONQUERED.

54 Lander-st., Redlern, N.S.W., March, 27th lyoo.

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1 was advised to try Vitadatio, which I did, and after taking five large bottles, 1 am in reality a new man ; all pains and aches have disappeared, I am now able to follow my usual work with pleasure, and do indeed feel grateful for such a medium, and am pleased to be able to recommend it to others.—I am, yours sincerely,

(Signed) WILLIAM A. FELTON. The Price of this Wonderful Remedy is 5s. fid. and 3s 6d. per bottle. Obtainable from all medicine vendors in Australasia.

TRY IT TO-DAY, and SAVE WEEKS of SUFFERING.

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It is almost with pardonable pride I can look back to my final tip in the last edition of the Cycling News. Bethnal and Euro for the Onka-paringa double was not a bad selection to wind up the paper's career with.

In connection with the Oakbank Steeplechase run at Oukaparinga, it is not generally known how Homer, who finished third, nearly came down, and it was only the old grey's marvellous pluck that kept him on his legs. He hit one of the fences so hard that a long strip of skin was stripped right oil from the knee to the coronet, and was flying about so distinctly that the boys riding behind called out to his rider to pull up, as they thought it was the horse’s bandage that had slipped, lie is a wonderful jumper, and out of six staits has only been out of a place once. The horse before, taking on steeplechasing was a noted high jumper in New South Wales.

I was not so fortunate in picking the Doncaster and Sydney Cup, my particular weakness being Sequence, Sweetheart and Bob to provide the winner of the short race, and Merriwee to pull through in the Cup. Bob must have run a long way below bis form or he is greatly overrated. Sequence undoubtedly should have won the race, and was only beaten by a neck by a regular rough one in Parapet—a forlorn, out of the betting horse—but it is always well to see sportsmen like the Messrs. While win a good race, but it was bard lines that Sequence just failed, as the colt’s belongings and the public backed him down—in a large field like the Doncaster—to three to one ; and they must have thought they had a powerful lot in band, and were not far out, as on the following race day lie pul down the crack two-year-old, Haulette, at weight for age. His form over here was all wrong, and the colt either was off colour or did not relish our peculiar climate.

Sweetheart, whom 1 mentioned as the pick of the Doncaster with 7-7, disappointed me, but she led all the way and probably was made too much use of. Anyhow she retrieved her laurels by starting at the nice price of fifteen to one, and winning the Rous handicap on the last day of the meeting.

La Carabine proved that her Sydney Cup running was no tluke by winning the A.j.C. Plate over three miles from the unfortunate Merriwee. It must have been a bit disheartening to young. Jim Wilson to be beaten by one of his own training, but that is all in the game, and that rubbishing talk of cast oil's makes anyone who knows the game— or thinks he does—really sick. A change of climate, perhaps difference in feeding and working a horse, may make a bad one into a good one. There are instances innumerable to emphasize the statement. “ Other countries other manners ” we know is a trite saying, and so it is with horses. We have only got such a latter day instance in Wild Raven, who sprang from a comparatively bad one to a good one in a stride, seea ¡ugly quite unknown to the stable. When Casliin had this horse at Fleminglon as a youngster, although then he looked a cobby sort of a yearling, be always took my fancy, lie was a lazy late brute that required shoving along, and the consequence of this quite necessary treatment begat soreness. The customary spell ensued, and benefitted by that he has recently born out my anticipation of his merit.

Another Trenton in Affable looks like winning ere long. She is a fine strong mare, and is out of that good mare Courteous, with whom Mr. R. McKenna won races some years back.

The time of the A.J.C. Plate, won by La Carabine in 5 min. 50.J sees., is sufficient to show what a crawling race it was, and as the placed horses did not run up to the time limit ruled by the club, they only receive half the advertised prize money.

The imported stallion Haul Brion evidently has the gift of getting gallopers, as the St. Simon horse had two good winners during the meeting in Hautesse, who won two races, and Haulette.

There was a really good days sport at Fleming-ton on Saturday last. The racing was good, and the attendance, for a comparatively off day was decidedly good.

Racing began with the Hurdle Race and betting was apparently confined to one horse, Clamorous, who is owned and trained by Alf. Whitty, a son of M. P’s. The short odds of 6 to 4 taken by the horse’s backers were never in doubt and he won anyhow from Mort Avis and Borderer, who has not yet got into his best form, and the Messrs. Miller could not even be tempted to take the fascinating odds on offer against their horse. Their late trainer, H. Bellamy, beat Borderer for second place with Mort Avis who is runnning unluckily.

The ancient warrior Liberty gave the books a rare throw in by winning the Hill Handicap from the well-backed Neva, with Promontory close up third. Foulsham’s people fancied their chance very much with Foret and lie started at 7 to 2, but be did not run up to anj thing like their anticipations and finished behind Flint who was fourth. The rider of Flint had to appear before the stewards to explain his riding and as usual the explanation was satisfactory. However this may be, the day is not very far distant when Flint will show some of the last year’s Tasmanian form.

Amourette was well backed in this race, but ran badly. Carslake said it was only a case of Novus taking into its head to bo sure to win, but gutting away badly never got near them. Town Clock seemed sore, and did not run as well as he ought to have.

The Steeplechase was a good betting and a rattling good race. 3 to 1: Mailboat, who started favourite, 4 to i Tangier®, and 7 to 1 Blue Peter, represented the chief items in the market. The public went bald-headed for the last-named, but the stable would have none of him. The horse Is not quite ready yet, and his rider, Kennedy did not handle him to the best advantage. It was a great race up the straight between the outsider, Spieler, and the well-backed Tangier«. The former won, but was disqualified on an appeal from J. Edge for interference.

The April Handicap turned out another surprise ¡11 the unexpected win of Wild Raven—who simply walked in. If their people fancied him they must have done their commission marvellously well, as the horse was hardly quoted in the betting. He will have to be re-handicapped for the Adelaide Cup, but I don't think Mr Hughes will put much more on his back, and as there is nothing like following winning , form, t should strongly recommend my readers to chance the weight and golfor him in this race, and if ambitious fora double, have a shot at Lyddite and Wild Raven.

Everyone was delighted to see Mr. S. G. Cook’s colors come home in the Two-Year-old Race, won by his own bred one, The British Admiral, who made hacks of a moderate lot and landed the short odds of 6 to 4 very easily.

In the High Weight Handicap, Amourette utterly unbacked, ran away from a good field, beating a greatly fancied one in ©unbar, whom all Gippsland seemingly had come down to back. I can’t understand why the stable did not fancy the mare—-as all her triumphs up North have been under welter weights.

Spieler, who is a capital fencer, should win the Warrnatnbool Steeplechase.

Lux.

The Outpost tennis enthusiast writes of the Geelong Tournament :

The fourteenth Annual Easter Tournament, held under the auspices of the Geelong Lawn Tennis Club, has been distinctly one of records. Never since these pleasant gatherings commenced has the weather been so unpropitious, and on Saturday and Monday the players felt the full force of the rule, “ Whatever may be the weather all competitors must be on the ground ready to play.” Splash, splash, splash, went the men—-aye, and the ladles too—as they paddled about the courts and one gentleman, who was reserving himself for another event later in the day, played the match in his overcoat.

It was also a record entry. There were sixty-four players in the handicap singles, twenty-four pairs in the ladies’ and gentleman’s doubles, and sixteen competitors in the singles championship event.

Another record was that for (he third consecutive time, one man should win both the championship and handicap singles. Truly has the cloak of the invincible Kearney fallen on the shoulders of D. W. Dunlop, the popular M.C.C. player. Last year when “ Gus ” Kearney left for England people ssid, “ Well it will be a long time before we again see one man carrying off both events.” But Dunlop has risen to the occasion, with a most meritorious performance.

We missed many familiar faces, Barnum Bayles, Gus Kearney, Stanley Orr and Dick Stansford, but we hope they’re having a good time in England. Others of the old contingent who were conspicuous by their absence were the Fairbairns, the Mackinnons, Ernest Raleigh, R. L. Hewitt, Charlie Pincott, Alec. Chomley and Frank Hurst.

The Paris Exposition and that new cult, Golf, are of course responsible for some defection, but anyway the interest in the tournament seems to have abated, and then the handicaps were rather severe on many who have for years played in the Tournament, whatever their form may be. A handicap is considered good if no one is thrown into it, but often the same handicap would be considered bad if looked at from a negative point of view.

Turning to the actual play, there were some good games on the first day in the Championship round, especially between Tatchelt and Spence, the old South Yarra man just managing to squeeze

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home, after two advantage sets had been played, by six games to four in the first set. In his match with Dunlop, Baynes was overpowered by the Champion in the first and third sets, but he managed to win the second set by seven games to five. Most of the other matches were spoilt by rain, but Tuesday turned out an ideal day lor the finals.

. The most interesting match in the morning was between Dunlop and Snxen in the handicap. Saxen, who plays in the Camberwell team, has a pretty, free style, and except for Watson, the runner up in the single handicap, was the most promising junior playing in the Tournament. Me must have made as many winning strokes in the first set as the “ backmarker,” winning easily ; after that he began to hit too hard, and only took four more games in the next two sets.

A splendid “ pull-up ” was witnessed in the first set of the match between Miss Guthrie and De Little against Miss Collins and her brother ; the score was five games to four. Collis leads and 40 owe 30, that is, Miss Guthrie and her partner had to win five consecutive strokes to save the game and two more to win it. They managed to do this, and won the set, six games to five. The next two sets were equally close, the final set resulting in favor of Miss Guthrie and De Little by six games to four.

The first of the championship was played directly after lunch, Dunlop winning by three sets straight. The first set was well contested, Greene getting Hie lead with three games to one. The next game was taken by Dunlop, but then Greene began playing with his old dash, taking the last ace of the game after a most brilliant rally in which Dunlop twice hit the top of the net without materially altering the flight of the ball, both strokes were beautifully returned by Greene. This gave Greene the lead of four games to two, but from this out Dunlop’s playing and hitting were too good, and he took the last game of the set to love, winning it by six games to four.

Dunlop won his score in the first game of the next set, and looked like winning the second game “ 15 to 40” being called, but Greene came with a run and won five consecutive strokes and the game. Two all, and three all were then called, but after this Dunlop was irresistable, using his backhand stroke straight down the court most effectively. He won the second set six games to three, and the final set, six games to love, thus taking nine games in succession.

On the West Coast of Tasmania tennis is in a very flourishing condition and in a recent match Strahan v. Queenstown the latter four was beaten for the first time in the history of the club.

Two ol the Strahan players are Victorians one being Bennett, late of Queen’s College fame as cricketer and tennis player, and Keogh, late of the St. Kilda Cricket Club, and it was due mainly to their prowess that the Queenstown men met their Waterloo.

The Queenstown courts, where the match was played is made of wood well-tarred to preserve it from the action of water and is very fast and true. The membership of the Queenstown Club is limited to thirty members and as the court cost £90 in the first instance, and £100 to move to its present position they must all be enthusiasts to find such an amount. In the match referred to Davies and Davey (Queenstown) beat Soutar and Findlay (Strahan) 9—6, while Bennett and Keogh (Strahan) beat Seagrave and Ellison 9—4.

In the Singles Soutar (S.) beat Davey (Q.) 7—3. Bennett (S.) beat Davies (Q.) 7—6. Findlay (S). beat Seagrave (Q.) 7—3. Ellison (Q.) beat Keogh (ST

„    .    The Iissendon Harriers held their

Harriers.    ,

annual meeting on 10th inst.

The attendance was large. The report presented showed continued progression on the upgrade. The attendance at club runs was better and a further advance is expected. The balancesheet was hardly as favorable as last year's. The club is unfortunate in losing the assistance of both its secretary and treasurer at once, Mr. Macdonald having to retire through pressure of business, and Mr. Wills on account of his early removal from the metropolis. However, their record should put their successors—Messrs. C. A Weber and W. Arkiey—on their mettle.

On Good Friday Messrs. Reg. Purbrick and G. Shaw walked from Melbourne to Dromann in of hours. On the Tuesday following Mr. Purbrick returned by himself, maintaining a steady 5 miles an hour pace. This should be good training for the approaching 10 miles road race, for which, 1 am told, he has an eye on the record.

C. A. Weber, of the Essendon Harriers, who won a triple at the Druids' Gala, is a line upstanding militiaman. Hts performance came as a surprise though one of the handicappers, a few days before, confided to me his misgiving that Weber had improved wonderfully. The worst of weather prevailed on Saturday and all races had to be postponed. On Monday the 100 yards was run and the others on the following day. The measurements were all out in the middle-distance events. The 440 yds. hurdles course was about 40 yds. short, and there were only seven hurdles. The 440 yds. fiat course was 20 yds. too long. Probably this made a material difference in the placed men. If the hurdles race had been the proper length possibly E. 11. Serle might have been second, and if the flat race had been shorter it is quite possible that A. H. Wills might not have been placed at all in his hert. He was lying fifth a few yards from the post, but went up to first in about three strides, the four men in front of him being almost in a line. The finishes were good, especially in the heats and final of the 440 yds. fiat. Results :—loo yds. : C. A. Weber (Ess. H.), 24 yds., 1 ; G. A. Moir (Melb. IT), 1 yd., 2 ; A. H. Wills (Ess. H.), 5.) yds., 3. Time —10

3- 5U1 secs. Won by two yds., two feet between second and third. 440 yds. : C. A. Weber (Ess. H.), 24 yds., 1 ; Ac H. Mills (Ess. 11.), 3 yds., 2 : A. F. W. Vale (Melb. H.), 16 yds., 3. Time—55

4- 5th secs. Won by six inches, same distance between second and third. 440 yds. Hurdles : C. A. Weber (Ess. H.I 24 yds., 1 ; G. McL. Redmond (Melb. 1-1.), 16 yds., 2; E. H. Serle (E.M.H.), 10 yds., 3. Time—56 3-5U1 secs. Won by five yds., three yds. between second and third. One Mile : L. L. Paul (Melb. H.;, 55 yds., 1 ; M. O. Markillie (Aub. H.), 85 yds., 2 ; G. V. O’Hanlon (Carl. H.), 35 yds., 3. Time—4 min. 38 4-5U1 sec. Won by five yds., ten yds. between second and third. The mile event was simply a repetition of the similar event at the A.N.A. meeting. Paul and Markillie cleared out from the field and battled out the finish together. They will both have to be brought further back, hut perhaps it may he suggested that Pauli might be brought back a few yards further than Markillie. If they are to run first and second in all our mile races it is advisable that the positions should alternate.

Stanley Rowley arrived in Melbourne on Saturday last at 12.30. At 3 o’clock he was running on the M.C.C. Ground. Rowley is a magnificently built man, but very different from what we naturally eexpect tb see in a sprinter. Broadshouldered, deep-chested and heavily-limbed he does’nt look git. 10 in. high, but he is. Stout and substantial, almost clumsy in appearance he presents a striking contrast to men like Shea and Moir. The only Victorian who at all approximates him is Harold Jones, and Harold Jones is bigger and broader, and deeper still. Rowley is a quiet, unassuming cap, with lots of intelligence and a vein of dry humor, which is not long in maniiest-itself. With a hopeful confidence in bimsell, yet a befitting modesty withal, and an honest determination to do his best, he will never disgrace us in the Old Country, and if lie succeeds in getting properly acclimatised we need not be surprised at anything we hear from him.

The sports meeting organised by the V.A.A.A., on the Melbourne Cricket Ground, proved very successful from an athletic point of view. And it a little longer time for organisation had been available, and considerably better weather had prevailed, it would have been a big success financially also. The chief interest centred round the 100 metres challenge match (109 yards r foot x inch) between Rowley, Shea and Moir. Mr. Shappere got the men away to a good start ; at 75 yards Shea was leading by a yard, but Rowley came with a rush and won cleverly by 18 inches. Moir was two yards behind Shea. The time was given as 11 1 -5th secs., which, considering the state of the track, was admirable. Shea, with ) yard han-

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dicap, won the 75 yards race by 1 foot from Rowley (scr.), who was 6 inches in front of E. H. Serle (6$ yds). Time, 8 sees. The 220 yards handicap resulted in a dead heat between J, K. Duncan (n yds) and J. Atkinson (17 yds), both of Footscray. Time, 25 secs. With Paul away, the mile was, of course, won by Markillie (65 yds) ; D. K. Armstrong (90 yds), second ; and S. Duncan (scratch), third. Time, 4 min. 57 secs. The Essen-don Harriers Ladies’ Nomination Race (100 yds) was won by E. H. Serle (y| yds), for Miss Wills ; H. E. Jones (scratch), 2 ; A. II. Wills (4J yds), 3. Time, 10 3-5th secs.

The afternoon concluded with an inter-club one mile Rivalry Relay Race—a most interesting fixture. G. A. Moir (Melb.) got a 10 yds. break in the 220 yds. section, but Shea (Carl.) soon made up lost ground in the 440 yds., and enabled O’Hanlon to begin his 1100 yds. with 50 to the good. The result was Carlton r, Essendon 2, Melbourne 3. Time—4 min. 24 secs.; seven teams started.

Mr. Montague Cohen (President V.A.A.A.), afforded a goodly number of gentlemen an opportunity of meeting Mr. Rowley at dinner at the Vienna in the evening, and a very pleasant time was spent. I am pleased to be able to record that all, when the gathering broke up, were able to successfully pass the test submitted by Mr. Rowley, of repeating the title of the last event.....Rivalry Relay Race—

six times quickly without mistake.

Lacrosse. 1 nawino,n ana lvcw 1'a

crosse Clubs have decided

to amalgamate, and should prove a ver^ powerful team with F. Bain bridge, E. Goss' the Hoskyns Brothers, and other veterans as a backbone, and a number of very promising juniors to till up. The great drawback with which hitherto the Hawthorn Glut) have had to contend has been the want of a suitable ground near by on which to practice, and it is to be hoped that the arrangement with die Richmond Club for the use of their ground for matches will be continued. The Hawthorn Club lias long been battling near the top without meeting with the greatest success, and should they this year reach the head of die list he would be a poor sportsman who would begrudge them the honor.

Lacrosse, which has well been described as a game for thoroughbreds, promises to flourish in Victoria this season in a manner far in advance of anything previously seen in this colony. No less than eight senior teams will take the field, Uvo of which will be University teams—a fact which reflects great credit on the students who have always taken a leading part .in lacrosse matters. This is the first time in the history of the game in Victoria that any club has been sufficiently strong to run two senior teams, but if successful the example set by the students will doubtless be followed by some other club in the near future.

Pacing oft with the Boers apparently has its charms for lacrosse players as well as others, for amongst the names of those who have crossed the water to do battle for the Empire are to be found those of Dr. F. J. Douglas, formerly of the Melbourne University team but lately of Adelaide ; A. C. Makin, captain of last year’s Collegian team, and YV. H. Gosse, also of last year's Collegian team, but more widely known as ail oarsman. Alt three have gone with contingents from South Australia, and if the good wishes of tacrosseurs are of any use in warding off Boer bullets, they will certainly come out se.tthless.

1 he M.C.C. lacrosse team tace the coming season with many of their last year’s players absent, but on the other hand have regained former

players :.....Simson, gone to a branch bank in the

country ; Gay, returning to Essendon, and possibly Carnegie and Jacobs will be amongst the absentees ; but on the other hand, B. Murray, returned from Western Australia, and Walsh, late of Hawthorn, will don the colors and materially assist in keeping up the strength of the team to ttie level of former years.

The Royal Melbourne Golf Club

Golf Notes, their Club Championship Meeting during the Easter holidays. Reverting to a scheme adopted by some leading English clubs, a preliminary test of two rounds against “ bogey ” was arranged, the four lowest “ cards ” to play two rounds, hole matches, on two successive days for the championship. To attract a large entry, the preliminary test was made the occasion of a handicap match on Friday and Saturday for a trophy dubbed “Transvaal,” presented by (he club’s captain, Mr. Sylvester Browne, prior to his departure for the Cape, where, it is hoped, he will be more deadly in his pot shots “ sniping ’’ Boers, than it was practicable for him to be in sniping the hole amongst the kopjes on an unrolled putting green. Friday was an ideal day, and though several of the scratch players were absent, a fairly representative field turned out. Play was mediocre, attributable possibly to the soft and stic ky nature of the ground, which necessitated an alteration of the summer foozler's “ running-up ” style, but chiefly to lack of practice of the majority of the players. In spite of the opportunity which the Easter holidays give of getting golfers together for some clays, (he wisdom of the committee holding the club’s championship in the beginning of the season seems to us extremely debatable.

The second day, Saturday was wet and blustery, and one thought what hardy chaps these golfers are,” as five, seven, or ten down, as the case might be, they came in, drenched, but smiling and cheery. The net result of tire match for the Transvaal trophy was a tie between the Rev. W.

G. Maconchie (handicap 3), and Mr. J. W. Begg (handicap 11), each 9 up. Upon a second count of the cards against the scratch bogey for the championship, the four best were found to be the Rev. Maconochie, leading 6 up, and Messrs. W. f. C. Riddell, J. D. Howden and H. A. Howden, the Rev. Maconochie’s performance under fhe circumstances of the weather being exceptionally meritorious. Easter Monday and Tuesday were set apart to decide the championship. The first was another intensely disagreeable day, casual water not only being under foot, but literally enveloping players in torrents. The Rev. Maconochie lost to Mr. H. A. Howden, and Mr. J. D. Howden to Mr-W. J. C. Riddell. On the play-off for the final the following day it was anticipated that flic first few days' play, he had had for some weeks owing ta absence from Melbourne, might have brought Mr. H. A. Howden up to his old fighting form, but the morning’s round left Mr. Riddell playing a wonderfully steady game with a lead of four holes, and in the last round he was not to be denied, and finally won by 5 up and 4 fo play. Mr. Riddell is to be congratulated on his win, he being, we believe, the first Australian-born champion of the club. Scores :—Transvaal Trophy : Rev. VV. G. Maconochie, 9up ; Mr. J. W. Begg, 9 up ; Mr. R. Gibson, 2 down ; Mr. W. H. Moule, 3 down ; Mr. A. Nash, 3 down ; Dr. Thomson, 3 down ; Mr. J. D. Howden, 4 down ; Mr. W. J. C. Riddell, 4 down ; Mr. T. Brentnall, 4 down ; Mr. A. S. Goold, 4 down ; Dr. Hope, 7 down ; Mr. C. McLean, 7 down ; Mr. H. A. Howden, 8 down ; Mr. A. G. Ogilvie, 9 down ; Mr. R. A. B. Melville, 10 down ; Mr. L, A. Whyte, 10 down ; Mr. W. McIntyre, 11 down ; Mr. J. M. Campbell, 14 down. Club Championship.—First day : Mr. W. J. C. Riddell beat Mr. J. D. Howden ; Mr. H. A. Howden beat Mr. W. G. Maconochie. Second clay : Mr. \Y7. J. C. Riddell beat Mr. H. A. Howden, 5 up and 4 to play, and won the championship.

Saturday, 2i$t April, saw the first day's play for the season’s inter-club matches, a continuation of the very successful competitions started last year, and which eventuated in Geelong proving the strongest team. Surrey Hitts played Royal Melbourne on the latter’s ground and suffered a severe reverse losing all six ties aud the match by 26 points.

Kew journey to Geelong, but lost the match by 16 points to 8, Geelong winning four and Kew two of the six ties. Essendon the fifth club had a bye. The next date for matches is the 19th May, when Essendon play Surrey Hills at the latter club’s ground, and Royal Melbourne visit Geelong, Kew having the bye.

The method of scoring for these matches has been altered. A player winning his tie scores two aces plus an additional ace if he is one or two holes up, two aces if he is three or four and three aces if he is five or more holes up. This will avoid the hardship of a team winning say five of its ties and yet losing the match through one of its players being six or more holes down.

Saturday next, 28th April, is Ladies’ Day at the Caulfield links. Mixed doubles are to be held early in the afternoon, followed by driving and approaching competitions for ladies. Janet Lady Clarke, president of the Ladie’s R.M.G.C. is issuing invitations for afternoon tea.

The Surrey Hills Club intend this year to make their meeting on Queen’s Birthday even a greater success than in previous years. The club has built a very nice pavilion during the summer and will take the opportunity of formally opening it at tlie meeting. The greens give every promise of having a good firm turf, and the long grass in two of the paddocks will be dealt with by the com mittee before any important matches take place. It is to be hoped flic dub will be favored by fine weather this year for their meeting. The committee are to be congratulated on their enterprise and the progress the game has made in their suburb.

It is also gratifying that the Essendon golfers are making a decided move to place their club on a sure foundation. They have acquired land sufficient for a full 18 hole course, which it is believed will be the best near Melbourne.

The Kew (Ladies) Golf Club have elected as office-bearers for the ensuing season :—Mrs. J. H. Merritt, captain ; Miss T. Henty, secretary ; and Mrs, J. C. Anderson, Mrs. R. Martin, Miss Dawson and Miss Macgibbon, committee. The Kew links are being considerably improved and a larger muster of members in both clubs is confidently anticipated this season.

Secretaries of clubs are requested to send in particulars of all matches, etc., as early in the week as practicable, and lists of fixtures received will be published in future issues.

The Auckland Golf Club now keep in their club house what is termed a “ fluter’s book. Any player relating his own astounding exploits after a round is now invited to put them in writing in the “ fluter’s book.”

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A. S. Patterson, the Australasian Manager of the Massey-It arris Co., left Sydney on the nth inst., by the s.s. Alameda for San Francisco, whence he will travel to Panada. Daring his absence, Mr, Gluts. Ncunhoffer will control the Victorian business of Massey-Harris cycles.

Early in April, Mr. Otto Schumacher, the VicePresident of the Victorian Cycle Hoard of Trade left Sydney for San Francisco. He intends travelling through tlu: United States, and then going on to the Paris Exposition.

Solicitor S. G. Pi ran i, of Melbourne is an inveterate wheelman. There is not a part of Victoria possible to the cyclist—-and what part is not possible —that he has not toured over. At present he affects a free wheel. He is one of the most energetic members of the Cycle Pathways Association. That Committee is doing good work, and deserves more enthusiastic support from the wheeling public than it seems to be getting.

At the recent Druid's (Jala, Handicapper Lenne protected himself from the sloppy arena by a square kauri board, which he toted about at the end of a stout piece of string. On Tuesday night Lenne left the pedestal near the press table for a few minutes, and in his absence a friendly pressman half severed the cord near the boat'd. When the Victorian Handicapper returned a Druidical official was staudingon the pedestal. Then Lenne confronted the official and made a long speech at him, recounting tlv: value he put upon the board, and the care with which lie had guarded it. The official still retained possession, i'lien the liandi-c,upper got the distant end of the string between both bands with the intention of giving the official an unpremeditated ride, lie gave the cord a long pull and a strong pull and -the grass was very wet, I'lie rest is silence.

Cyclist Holbein is a thorough athlete along with being a wheelman, and his projected ’cross Channel swim is the subject of a good deal of talk just now. The English Channel is not to he made light sport of, and Holbein will need all the strong endurance, with which he is credited, to accomplish his self-imposed task. Experts are of opinion that if the feat is possible, Holbein is just the man for the work.

Edouard Taylour, the famous French rider, is doing a lot of road work now “ to get himself lit.” He purposes covering about seventy miles per day, and is now oil the road, with a record of somethin« like 1000 miles to tiis credit.

VV. A. Taylor, who chaired the Beeson Committee lias received the following letter :—Mr. \V. A. Taylor, Chairman and Treasurer, Beeson Testimonial Committee. Sir, -Since your labors are concluded, the time is now opportune for me to express my appreciation of them. Permit me to say that 1 am deeply grateful for the kind expressions of sympathy you have favoured me with in my misfortune, and for the practical evidence you have given of that sympathy. To you. Sir, your honorary secretary, and your committee. 1 express my heartfelt thanks, and record my hope, that you will be rewarded accordingly for the arduous work you undertook, and sc successfully carried out. To the Cycle Clubs ai d the public generally,

1 also express my thanks for the generous manner in which they responded to your appeal.— Believe me, Sir, yours respectfully, FRED. Beeson.

Herbert Dean recently arrived at this office accompanied by a new rhyming dictionary. He has left the Matlee and intends going to South Africa shortly—not to fight, but re-build the country. He says that he yearns greatly to go a-fighting only family considerations deter him. A man cannot always think of himself alone.

It is rumoured that Platt-Betts is now in training, with a view to competing for the Century Cup, now held by Bouhours.

The cycling fever has caught on at Manila, but good riders are in the humble minority. The average Spanish wheelman there is a very freakish troublesome person, and a decided nuisance along the promenades—not a happy place for pedestrains, Manila—or for the matter of that, law-abiding cyclists either.

Mr. Fred J. Dodge, whose portrait appears in this issue of die Outpost, has been connected with the cycling business in this city for the last sixteen years. He was born at Dawlish, Devonshire, in 1839, and landed in this province over 42 years ago. In 1884 he bought the present business of the Melbourne Sports Depot, and for the past sixteen years lias been selling cycles. At first lie handled the Coventry Machinists' Coy.'s. machines, and later held the Humber Agency for the high ordinary bicycles, and at different times the

Raglan, Eclipse, Spalding Vanguard, Rover and Sterling agencies have been in his hands. He has now decided to limit his wheel business in the future to the Sterling. Mr. Dodge lias his own theories in modern education, and both his sons—Leonard and Fred—have been for tours over England, Europe and America, partly on business and partly on pleasure. As a mercantile man he enjoys a high reputation, a reputation that has been earned by straightforward business methods and inflexible adherence to the principle that the honor of his business was his honor also.

On April 1st, ten thousand L.A.W. members resigned, in accordance with a provision made by the League several years ago, ruling that all memberships should expire 011 the above-mentioned date. The rule has since been amended, and now all memberships expire twelve months from date of application.

The American crack rider, George A. Banker, is the most untiring Yankee awheel, and says “ he does not believe in long rests.” He arrived in Paris from America not long ago, settled his business affairs on landing almost, and then went forthwith in search of the prize money. He is engaged to ride in the Grand Prize of Algiers, and much brilliant work is expected of him this season.

The immediate predecessor of the The Outpost recently prosecuted, successfully, a case of alleged road-hogging at Brunswick. Following is a letter of acknowledgement from the father of complainant. This paper is still adhering to the News plan of prosecuting all 11 approved ” cases :—

No. 61 Mountfield-street, Brunswick,

9th April, 1900.

The Editor Outpost.—Sir,—1 feel it incumbent on me as a duty to tender you my sincere thanks for providing a legal gentlemen, gratitutously, to conduct the prosecution in the case of “ Road Hogging,” concluded on Wednesday last, at the Brunswick Court, and in which my daughter appeared as principal witness, she having been the sufferer by the defendant's reckless riding. Miss Jolly prior to the accident, in which tier bicycle was badly damaged, had been a capable cyclist for many months, and apart from the convincing evidence given in court that the youth on horseback was entirely to blame. I was perfectly satisfied from her statement and my own knowledge of her carefulness in riding that the case could only, in justice, terminate as it did. From experience, however, I well know the difficulty of proving cases of this kind to the satisfaction of a Police Court bench. I feel deeply indebted to Mr. Corr for the able manner in which he conducted the prosecution. The fact that one bench of justices could not agree on the merits and that the case had to be re-heard would seem to show that it was wise to put the prosecution into professional hands.

In conclusion, I trust that your disinterested efforts to put down the selfish and dangerous practice of ” Road Hogging” may be in every way successful. Again thanking you, I beg to remain, Yours respectfully, Geo. Ewd. Joi.ly.

When a cyclist first begins to ride a free-wheel cycle he is often puzzled as to the best method of dismounting, the way on the machine of course failing to help him as in the usual jump-off with a fixed gear. To dismount from a free-wheel pull up llie machine with the front wheel brake almost to a standstill, and then when the left pedal is at the lowest point partly step off backwards, not leap off. For an emergency dismount, leap off when the left pedal has just passed its highest position.

Cycling, of March 17, contains an account of a cycle trip from Port Elizabeth to Capetown, made by a party of four. The distance is about 43 miles, but they were obliged to walk for some 25 mites of (hat. The roads are vile, and the bewildered tourist can gleam little comforting information from the taciturn Dutch farmer. There are some places of recent historical interest on the route, but the trip would ? be undertaken except from freak, or stern necessity.

There has been some correspondence in English cycling journals of late with regard to the relative strengths of two tubes or one tube in the chain stays. It is stated that "two tubes whose combined area and weight are equal to the area and weight of a single tube—outside diameters being equal, are the stronger when small tubes are used, but in the case of large diameter tubes, the single one is preferable.

The Dunlop Tyre Company have been considering the advisability of importing a couple of pacing tandems, similar to that used by Reconnais in his marvellous ride, for record breaking purposes ; but the trouble is that there are only two tracks in Australia capable of carrying a motor tricycle at anything like Dp speed, they being the new track at the Adelaide Oval and the one on the Sydney Cricket Ground. The company have therefore decided not to import racing tandems for pacing purposes, but to adhere to the de Dion motor tandems now in use. These at present are only 1} h.p., but by next season the motor power will be raised to 2} h.p., which will add another five or six miles an hour to the pace of these machines. It is also more than likely that a third machine will be imported, to be used as a standby in the event of one of the motors not working smoothly.

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The protest of the Goulburn Bicycle Club agains the Australian Cycling Club (Sydney) in connection with their attempt on the Dunlop too Miles Track Relay Competition has been investigated by the Dunlop Tyre Company, who have dismissed the protest, as Urey found that ]. Clilfe was a bona-fide member of the Sydney Club. The trophy, ten £5 5s- g(>'d medals, will therefore be awarded to the Australian Club's team of ten riders who rode the 100 miles in 4 hrs. 1 min. 50 i-5<h secs.

Some interesting correspondence appears in a recent number of Wheeling, signed by an official of (he Dunlop Tyre Co. The writer states that in addition to having one of their directors, the Right Hon. rlre Earl of Albermarle at the front, the D Company of the Royal Warwickshire Volunteers consists exclusively of Dunlop employees, and the Co. has also recently sent 43 of its officials to the front under the leadership of Mr. George du Cros.

C. B. Kellow recently issued a new catalogue, printed by Syd. Day, that easily takes the lead of anything done before in this country, of the same sort. The information and illustrations concerning Kellow cycles arc both clear and apposite, and the production is more than creditable. It “ marks an epoch.”

“Newhaven "Jackson fell in the Mile Australasian Championship final held recently through touching the paid pacer’s wheel. W. Symonds was the pacer and should have gone fast, but he slowed and Jackson ran into his machine from the back and came off. He retired from the arena crying bitterly at losing his chance of winning this classic event.

The cycling events at the Bendigo Easter Fair were a dismal failure. The incessant rain caused the public to stay away from the track. The postponement of the Druids' Gala did not help matters, as it prevented the racing men from going to Bendigo for the Tuesday programme.

An English cycling paper states that the Prussian War Department has placed a large order for military bicycles, with the Corona Fahriadwerke Gesellschaft of Brandenburg.

Lord Dundonald is reported to be a keen cyclist, and moreover the inventor of a distinct type of cycle saddle, consisting of a light steel frame, with leather straps stretched across.

When saddle springs give way close to the clip, the latter should be loosened and slid along the wire until it clasps the broken ends, thus making the saddle quite secure.


The heats of the Eight Hours’ Wheel R ace last Saturday were very interesting. In one ‘’Newhaven ’’ Jackson started from 20 yds. behind scratch and met with a nasty accident, which resulted in a broken collar bone. Only the first man in each heat was taken, and those who started in the final were :—E. Wilkseh, scr. ; R. W. Lewis, 10 yds. ; W. Macdonald, 20 yds. ; A. J. Body, 30 yds. ; A. A. Middleton, 60 yds. ; J. H. Sandberg, no yds.; J. Feenane, 140 yds.; H. J. Symonds, 140 yds. ; A. Hilder, 160 yds. ; H. Hudson, 180 J. Symes and W. Blundell, 280 yds. After three laps the field was composed of three bunches, with nearly a 100 yard gap between each. As the scratch bunch were passing the stand for the fifth time there was a loud bang as though a cannon had been fired off, and it was then seen that Wilkseh had collided with the iron fence. When he was seen to rise and walk away, apparently little injured, a cheer went up for the plucky rider. The scratch men caught the limit at four laps yd to go. Two laps from home A. A. Middleton dashed out with R. W. Lewis and \V. McDonald on his wheel and led past the bell, the order then being, Middleton, Lewis, McDonald, Symes, Hudson and Body. At the stand Lewis made his run and beat off McDonald in the run home by about a length, Hudson 3rd The time for the last lap was 26 3-5II1 sec., and for Ihc two miles 4 min. 16 sec.

Elsbury won the 2nd and 3rd Class Handicip from W. Middleton and Shiels after a fairly interesting race.

The Amateur Handicap was a good race, though the champion Shrimpton did not have a chance, being over handicapped. E. D. Clarion won the event rather easily, with R. A. Ferguson second and W. J. Lindsay third.

The Mile Championship of Victoria was robbed of a great deal of interest through “ Newhaven ” Jackson’s accident. The heats were good, and the finish between Forbes and Morgan was a splendid race. Gordon beat Walne in his heat and received a great ovation. Four starters in the final heat, Gordon, Beauchamp, Forbes and Hunt. Gordon was the popular fancy. Hunt was paid pacer and made the pace merry from the start. At the bell Hunt sprinted and led to the stand corner, where Gordon was seen to hunch himself and make his run, he shot out, but Beauchamp and Forbes picked him up and were with him at the Aquarium corner. Coining into the straight there was a desperate battle between Gordon, Beauchamp and Forbes, which resulted in Beauchamp beating Gordon by a length with Forbes third.

The concluding event was the Five Mile Scratch


A little care occasionally exercised in the removing and cleaning of nuts, will prevent the from shaking loose in the unreasonable way they sometimes do. If a little powdered resin is sprinkled inside Ihc nut, and a piece of cotton bound round the nut and worm, the nut and bolt will keep quite secure.

The N.C.A. propose holding a gigantic three days’ meet at Montreal this year, and W. A’. Dan-durant, the Sports Manager, has drawn up a programme entailing the expenditure of some §3500 in prize money. The meeting will take place in August, at Queen’s Park.


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race. The starters were limited to twenty, and the 5s. lap prizes made the event exciting. Wilkseh made his re-appearance after his fall in the wheel race, and received quite an ovation. First Tcbbut cleared out for lap prizes, then A. C. Middleton made a break of 100 yards, and stopped away for 5 laps. Barker and Geo. Carpenter were also out for lap money, and the interest was sustained right through the race. At 3 laps to go Body rushed out to get a break, hut the other competitors did not give him a chance to get away. Two laps from the finish Beauchamp made his run, and Walne was seen working liis way on (he outside up to the front. At the Aquarium corner Gordon came through the inside with a marvellous dash, and as the bell rang, took command and sprinted for home, chased by Walne and Beauchamp, who singled themselves out from the field. Coming lo the straight Gordon still held his lead, and won by Kvo lengths from Walne, who was followed home by L. M. Jackson. The winner was enthusiastically cheered, and the win was the most popular of Ihc meeting.

In the Cyclist of March 7th, there is an account of a case for damages—and won with ¿430 to the good—by a cyclist named Neville against the London County Council. Plaintiff was riding in front of a cable car, the property of Ihc L.C.C. He had passed il on (he proper side and turned back again on the tram line to avoid another vehicle. The bicycle skidded, flinging him down, and owing lo the alleged negligence of the tram driver in failing to arrett the progress of his car, Neville was seriously injured. The Bench considered the case of negligence proved, and gave the verdict to plaintiff accordingly. So cyclists are getting some tardy justice meted out to them by degrees.


After Riding-10,000 Miles.


over all kinds of country around Australia, Mr. I). MacKay stales that his bicycle is giving him every satisfaction, and that the high reputation held by the Dux, which was the only inducement in his choice of a mount is in every way well deserved.


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W. E. Shrimpton, 1st. R. H. Walne-    1st.

R. H. Walne    1st.


iSTAISUSHED [889.


C. B. KELLOW, Manufacturer, 154 Swanston St., Melbourne.


A pleasing Spirit of 11 goaheadativeness” by cycling enthusiasts at Echuca has resulted in a complete transmogrification from a barren spot ¡»Victoria Park into a well-appointed racing oval. Melbourne speed merchants vote it one of the best outside the sewered, bubonic-proof city, and although banked with earth to a maximum height of 3ft., it presents a good racing surface. The management have practically decided to carry out the work of asphalting, a financial difficulty, it is stated, having been overcome by a townsman having volunteered to advance the amount required at a minimum rate of interest. The track is 26 ft. wide, four laps to the mile, the finishing straight covering a distance of 3.J chains. The total area enclosed, 8.) acres, is held in trust by the local council, 15 per cent, being charged sports promoters, whilst football and cricket clubs are admitted at a reduced tariff. The ground and improvements have involved an expenditure of some /".joo, and as the erection of a grand-stand baths, cic., are projected, the border town is to be complimented on its advancement in the sport. The statuary and floriculture of Victoria Park is well worth a visit by tourists, a meed of praise being due to Mr. A. Alton, the curator, for the taste lie has displayed in connection therewith.

A. E. Mealing and Co. (Ideal Tyre Co., Richmond and N.Z.), report that they have just opened tip a shipment of Reynolds’ chains, block and twin roller, all sizes, and anticipate a great demand for same. *

The cycling fever which has spread throughout (lie colony is very prevalent at Echuca just now, and from present indications is likely to continue. As in most provincial towns, devotees of the wheel affect no particular make of cycle, there being seemingly a pronounced desire to possess an article dissimilar to that owned by fellow knights of the road. For racing purposes, however, well-known metropolitan machines are preferred by district sprinters, who, even if they lack pace in competition, are consoled by the fact that their mounts are capable of easy propulsion. In fine weather the roads of tins town and its environs are splendid for touring, but during the winter months—profane rhetoric and hard drinks !

Ideal Tyres must be booming just now, judging by the increased activity at the Ideal Co.’s, premises, where more hands have had to be put on to keep pace with the “ goods wanted.” *

The Laurel Cycle Club, of St. Paul, U.S.A., is apparently an energetic and populous congrega-gation of wheelers. They issue a monthly magazine that is full of bright and clever reading, and is well supported by advertisers. The last number to hand is really an excellent one, and The Outpost congratulates the Laurel boys heartily.

The Parisian cycling season is about in full swing now ; it dates from the opening of the Parc des Princes last month, and the American, English and Continental cracks are gathering for the fray. It is told of Dominique Lambcrjack, the famous sprint rider, that he was recently pressed for military service under the French flag ; Lam-berjack objected to the compulsion, and proved that lie was not legally bound to serve, being born outside of the jurisdiction. His final decision was worthy of a Frenchman. “ I have so long enjoyed flic hospitality of the French,” he said, that I will join their colours willingly.”

Cycle assemblors in the United States are running a good tiling just now in (he re-adoption of one-inch-tubing. It is an easy matter for the repair-shop builder to keep pace with popular fancy in the matter of design, erratic as that fancy may he, hut it is not so easy for the sellers of standard makes of bicycles to get in line with a new point of construction all at once. So far the aggregate loss consequent upon the adoption of the new fad exceeds the aggregate gain. The manufacturer and the parts maker are just keeping abreast of the market in order not to lose trade ; they derive no immediate gain. Then the rider does not really benefit either, he has only been given a change ; so far the repair-shop-builder Is the only one who profits, and as soon as the demand exceeds the supply which the parts makers are able to turn out, he will he in a bad way too. The reversion to small tubing is a cosily fad, not because of ils intrinsic expense, but because it is perpetuating freakishness in construction, and the cycle industry cannot afford to continually make changes in design for no belter reason than the advent of a new season, when the changes are not justified by actual necessity.

A new brake just brought on to the market by the Coventry Chain Co., Coventry, England, exhibits a distinct improvement. It is very light, of extremely neat construction and (lie two arms work independently of each other, thus overcoming the difficulty of discrepancies in the rim. This brake can be fitted in harmony with existing levers and brake rods.

The Eadie Manufacturing Company have practically overcome the only feasible objection to the half inch pitch roller chain. The flexibility of this chain, and its superiority in running as compared with the block chain, have already accounted for its great popularity, but, owing to the oscillatory movement of the side links bearing on the harder steel bushes, the chain was liable to some elongation which lessened its merits. The Eadie Co. are turning out a half inch roller chain, having the bosses of the side plates joined across the chain by bridges, stamped in one piece with the link, and it is believed that this new design will quite do away with the detrimental side play.

Over-production in the cycle trade has resulted, in England and on the Continent, in a stagnant condition of the trade, emphasised just at present by the South African war cloud. Mr. Walter Hewitt, the Manager of the Singer Cycle Co., Coventry, made some pertinent remarks on this subject recently, on the occasion of his jubilee birthday celebration. “ The paralysing effect of the war,” he said, “ had been tremendous, and was not to be understood by those manufacturers whose business lay with the wealthy portion of the community. Thousands of the ordinary dealer’s best customers had gone — many irretrievably — to South Africa, and a large percentage of those who would return would he too disabled to use a bicycle. Over-production lay at the root of the matter ; the English manufacturer had his stores full of unsold bicycles, and whether he lived on in hopes of a better time coming, or disposed of his surplus stock by auction forthwith, he could not hope to recoup himself for mere working expenses.

The inevitable “ tambourine ” will be the chief feature of a cycle and motor procession to be held from London to (he Crystal Palace in May, in aid of the Widow and Orpans Fund. Processionists and the public cn route, are invited to drop their shillings and sundry coin into the gigantic tambourine to be borne by the last car. The show is designed by way of popularising a Wheelmen's Subscription Fund, in aid of the thousands leit bereaved and helpless by the war.

A. F. Healing and Co., who took over the late business of the Cycle Materials Depot, Eli/.abelh-street (A. j. Sage and Co.), can supply any Perry lines required, as well as any such lines as B.S.A. free-wheels, Eadie parts. And for tyres and tyre material can supply the trade at a very low figure. Ask the tram conductor to put you down at Lennoxstreet, and there they are, opposite you.

i


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SMITH & BOARDMAN, Cycle Manufacturers,    g

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ÀN ÀU5TRÀLIÀN NÀTIONÀL NEWSPAPER

Vol. i.    MELBOURNE, MAY 5, 1900.    No. 11.

/

WEPENER.

Fighting Bobs; “Check again, Uncle Paul,”

362 Little Collins-street. ...    ... 180 PUt-street.

... Gresham-street. ...    Edwardstreet.

...    33 Loop-street,

enue, Farringdyn-street.


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SATURDAY, MAY 5, 1900.


A MILITARY MUDDLE.

A really strong man at the head of each of the Colonial Defence Departments:in these stirring days would have done more for the solidarity of the Empire than a quarter of a century of speech-making and commercial reciprocity. What a revelation it would have been to the whole world to lind that England’s colonies not only possessed lighting men of the best quality, but masterful organisers at the head of affairs. As far as Victoria is concerned that was not to be. While we have demonstrated our resources in a citizen soldiery superior in many points to the linest English troops, and equal to them in all others, our Minister for Defence and those associated with him have


shown a lack of capacity and intelligence that would be scorned in an idiot asylum. * * *

With one notable exception, it has been the custom of unthinking Premiers to hand over the portfolio of Minister of Defence to the dullard of the Cabinet.


and will soon be an object of ridicule throughout all England. We undertook to raise an Imperial regiment of Australian men lired with patriotism and military ardour. ,A thousand such men volunteered when we only required six hundred. Through the unspeakable blundering of the Minister, the personal and official feud between his prompter, the Secretary for Defence, and the Commandant, General Downes, and the total want of organisation, we are sending out a force smarting under injustices, badly and inefficiently

equipped, and wholly untrained.

* * *

If any proof of these statements is required, it is supplied by the circumstances and incidents of the last days of the Australian Imperial Regiment within our borders. The regiment was billed to


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Premier McLean-Shiels went one better by giving it to a dotard. Mr Melville is a fine old Scotch gentleman possessing many good qualities, but his mental powers have always been more remarkable for their clever eccentricities than their consistency or method. The result is that Victoria is the laughing-stock of Australia, embark for South Africa on Saturday. Orders were issued to march from the camp at Langwarrin on Friday. On Thursday afternoon the Commandant inspected the troops. He found half of them paraded on foot owing to the fact that at the last minute the saddles were found to be defective and had to be altered. A large proportion of the men too were discovered to be without essential articles of their kit. His review" and inquiries convinced him that it would be absolutely ridiculous to send troops away in that condition. He therefore telegraphed to the Secretary for Defence urging that their departure should be delayed a few days, but received no reply. Then he wired direct to the Premier, and after the lapse of some hours got instructions from the Minister for Defence to march as previously ordered.

So incompletely equipped and disciplined were the men that it took from 6 o’clock on Friday morning till half-past 9 o’clock in the afternoon before they were ready to march off the camp—time enough for a commando of Boers to have travelled ten miles, surrounded the camp and blown the regiment to pieces. Eager apparently to dodge the cost of two meals for the troops, the Government jumped at an offer by the people of Mentone to entertain them on-Friday night and Saturday morning. Consequently the column had to travel some three miles out of its way to that town. Owing to a miscalculation of the time and distances the place was.reached in total darkness, with the result that the regiment was converted into a rabble, and did not recover itself until well on the march to the city next day, some hours late.

The transport to convey the troops to Baira was to have been in port on Wednesday, but owing to the way in which the Defence Department has allowed New South Wales to jockey Victoria, she did not arrive until Thursday evening. Then and only then was it

discovered that she was not ready for the reception of the men and horses, and tliie departure was put off till Tuesday. The troops were at once bustled out to the Flemington Show Grounds, where they were made .a sort of penny peep-show, thus undoing any little work which had been accomplished in the way of disciplining them to military duties. Truly the Defence Department of Victoria has achieved a very high pinnacle . of fame in the art of muddling. .


!

THE STRAIGHT TIP ABOUT THE PLAGUE.


Melbourne City Council has been three months considering the plague. What-nt has done is best shown by the condition of its own tips at Brunswick and Wqst Melbourne, and the loathsome horrors dramatically pointed out by the decayed human hand found at the back of St. Francis Church. Cleanliness is not next to Godliness in that portion of the city. In the block bounded by Latrobe, Elizabeth, Lonsdale and Swanston streets, there are several blocks of ground—all used as tips by the population of the locality—all stinking and „filthy, in wet weather a viscous mass of foulness, on warm days, an aggregation of nameless abomination covered with a spinning dome of Hies, that sing an endless dirge. This is the condition of the vacant lands of part of the city, after the Council has been perspiring for 3 months on its work of cleanliness. From this fact many things are to be deduced.

(1) . That as the eminent bacteriologist, Sir Malcokn M'Eacharn, has pronounced (hat Sydney is not suffering from the bubonic, plague, the council generally is content to let its residents die of what they believe to be something quite different.

(2) . That the council's inspectors are so conscien-tous that they examine every thouroughfare up to the surveyed boundary and pay no heed to the decaying pussy cat and the decomposing fish and the abandoned rat and the superanuated banana which lie on the other side.

(3) . That the City Council values the lives of its citizens so highly that it will not expend about ^10 or £15 in cleaning the whole of the vacant-lands within its boundaries and chance ever getting the money refunded.

(4) . That it either pays no attention to the condition of the allotments, or is not possessed of sufficient intelligence to discover the owners and prosecute them inside of three months.


Another View on the Strangling Patriotism Question.


How is . it that British military matters are always so grossly mismanaged ? History is full of repeated instances, and often the blunders have been criminal, involving as they have done great loss of life and national dishonour. Australia’s excursion into militarism has disclosed the fact that we have fully inherited the Ango-Saxon propensities to make a mess of things, and from first to last the despatch of our contingents has been disgraced by a series of bungles which seem to have been only aggravated by experiences. Much in the way of mistakes might have been freely forgiven in the equipment, etc., of the first lot of men sent to South Africa, but when the-sanie sort ot mistakes and a fresh variety of others are made in connection with this fourth contingent, there is room for no other opinion than that Victorian military authorities are tor the most


part, born and incurable idiots. So badly have the men been treated in camp that many have retired from the business in disgust, and there is no doubt, that the majority of those who would not wait to be. sworn in as Soldiers of the Queen have just cause to complain that the Government does not foster patriotism when it tolerates a military policy which aims at making a soldier's life as unpleasant as possible, and achieves the aim with marvellous success. Re-made and uncomfortable saddles, shoddy and dangerous bridles are still served out to the men, and have only been remedied or replaced at heavy expense, and after having been the cause of serious inconvenience. * * *

Then in camp there have been leaky tents, ill-cooked food, due chiefly to the edict of some stupid noodle that the fires should not be sheltered, while inefficiency of provender, due to a defective system of distribution, has supplemented the semi-starvation caused by imperfect culinary arrangements. Inaccurate estimates,, sheer brainlessness careless supervision, and the tenaciously held theory that physical torture is military training are chiefly the causes of these things, and it is full time that the officers responsible should be identified and dealt with. It may be a splendid test of a man’s capacity to be a soldier to pass him through the peril of every form of disease, and the discomfort of every inconvenience, and then declare him fit if he comes out of the ordeal alive, but it is hardly attractive, and is certainly not calculated to turn out men who will be a credit to their country. What makes the matter still worse is the fact that while the men are shivering and starving, the officers are living in frilled water-tight tents, and messing in real French cafe style. And this suggests the root of the evil, which is that the officers are too superior. Instead of taking a real live fatherly interest in the men, they are more disposed to give themselves airs and strut about as creatures apart for whose glorification armies are formed and the God of Battles invoked. There are exceptions, but they should be the rule, and there is something wrong with our military system if it turns out military prigs instead of intelligent officers who recognise that their most important duty is to see to the comfort of their men, and theieby maintain the men’s respect and efficiency.

* * *

In regard to the bad saddlery and equipment generally, Colonel Cairncross is guilty, and while Lord Roberts is castigating his remiss officers in South Africa, it would not be out of place if Colonel Cairncross and other guilty officers got the same sort of sensation here. The Commissariat muddles, so far as the writer can learn, are due to Major Watson, an officer of the Public Service who goes into the business of a military expert as a pastime. His regular duties are those of an architect, and if he performs them properly they should fully occupy his time, energies aud any ability he may possess. It is quite certain that he cannot do them and supervise the commisariat as well. That has been demonstrated disastrously and the Defence Department, glutton though it be for the reputation of bungling, must surely by this time be completely satisfied that Major Watson is not a success. Apparently the blame for inferior camp arrangements rests with Colonel Otter, who may, however, plead that the parsimony of the Government is some extenuation of his failures. But there can be no excuse for lax supervision and other evils traceable directly to sheer negligence and want of intelligence. Victoria’s step in recruiting the Imperial Army is important, and if it is to be recorded in history as also wise, the Government shobld take care that the execution of it is not handicapped by gross and reparable maladministration.

The Frosen North articles in the Argus are from the pen of P. Gerschel, a native of Melbourne. Gerschel has lived so long in Yankeeland that he even writes English with an American accent. He strongly resents the charge that his yarns are De Rougemontesque. “ You’ve no need for your imagination in Alaska ; in fact, you couldn’t keep it warm. Why, I guess the dullest street in Dawson City has more life than De Rougemont’s liveliest chapter,’

The Man with the Iron Laugh.—Peacock.

* * *

Alleged rather freely that Col. “Tom” Price has fallen foul of Colonel Hoad as well as all his own officers and men.

Major Rcay's return from South Africa is not altogether owing to enteric fever, but chiefly that he may be in time to woo the ubiquitous elector of ttie Western District for Parliamentary dishonors.

More “ Splendid Isolation.” Lord Curzon dedicated his last book to “the people who believe that the British Empire is the greatest power for good, under providence, the world has ever known.” Why “ under providence ?”

THE TWO KINGS OF BALLY-MUDDLE.

When we’ve milked the cows and fed ’em, and we've finished our moustache,

We settle down to labour for the day,

To thrash out new devices so the departmental cash

May be docketed and safely put away. ■>.

We cut down all the exes, in the wide Langwarrin camp ;

We take the poles from half the tents, the wicks from every lamp ;

We feed the troops in plenty with a spud for every meal ;

In their deice far uicnlc all the joys of home they feel.

For we. shove them ten or twenty in a tent that’s made for five

With water sloshing on their ears to tell them they’re alive.

Then we get the rejects ready and we strip them of their boots.

(They’ll come in very well for somebody.)

And we call on Billy Clancy for the little gun he shoots—

They can do their drill with broomsticks on the sea.

Oh, philosophers may prate of the woes and cares of state,

But they both are merely funny, for it’s someone else that feels.

And the ecstacy and rapture that we daily chase and capture

Is to worry Billy Clancy, and to hear the beggar’s squeals.

* * *

W. T. Stead gives his opinion that if England needs a military despot in the near future to “ clear out the talking shop at Westminster,” Kitchener of Khartoum is the man. In France, Stead alleges, Kitchener would inevitably have become Dictator.

It was Barrister E. J. Corr who raised the point that resulted in the quashing ot the verdict condemning Mrs. Downey to death. The contention put forward by the clever and versatile Corr was that evidence was taken before the trial, without the accused being first advised as to what she was definately charged with. Madden said “ such a proceedure was Dre.yjusiastic."

* * *

Peacock, Vic.’s, late Education Minister, since his announced engagement, has deserted the flesh pots of Egypt that steam in the Stock Exchange Club for the dyspeptic bun and coffee of a Collins-street tea-room. He sat down heavily on his laugh for days, but it exploded one day last week and “ broke-up ” the attendants for the rest of the day.

Donald Macdonald told his Argus comrades at last Saturday’s smoke night, that the Boer Long Toms well placed and protected were practically invincible. “The Creusot,” concluded Macdonald» with his whimsical delivery, “ is monarch of all he surveys.” Macdonald made a splendid speech and is a most entertaining talker, a fact that has not escaped the enterprising showman of this country ; for, since his return, the Argus man has been approached by every entrepreneur in Australia with a view to a lecturing tour.

* * *

A few months ago W. T. Stead sent round to the London editors the query, “ Shall I kill my brother Boer." Subsequently he wrote in a fine large way against the war. But insatiable circumstances have gobbled up all that sort of thing and he is supplying his readers with “ character sketches ” of the Queen’s Soldier's. That on Kitchener is recently out. It is a “ fake ” right through, and a poor fake. We have suffered Churchill's Sirdar, and Burleigh’s and T. P’s., and Beimel's ; but Stead’s—which is the sum of all the others cast up wrong—is unspeakably banal.

Currently rumoured that both the Victorian dailies are growing weary of the—also-growing— confidence of the Shields-M'Lean mat-administrator, who, for the time being, runs (he Post Office. To depend too much on the permanent affections of the dailies aforesaid is unwise, more unwise than the gentleman who built his house on the sand. Unless, indeed, the present P.M.G. follows the modern version of the story and “sells out" before the storm comes along. Badger.

Melbourne Herald now possesses that rara ends a religious reporter. The scribe, though one of the youngest members of the staff, jeopardises his financial future for his spiritual one, and despite S. V. Winter’s choicest objurgations, declines steadfastly to chronicle race meetings or even to transmit results over the telephone, as a makeweight he supplies accounts of bun-fights and W.C.T.U. meetings, attended in his spare time.

* * *

Touching those current stories about the brief manners of Kitchener, this of Colonel Fitzroy of the old 49th foot caps them easily. Fitzroy, like Kitchener, had an annoying habit of not returning the salutes of his men. One day he passed a sentry on duly. The Tommy saluted. Fitzroy didn’t.

“ I’m blankety blanked if I’ll ever salute the old hyphen again,” muttered the irritated sentry. Fitzroy turned on him and growled, “ What the dash, dot, asterisk do / care if you don’t.”—Index.

* * *

For a piece of studied insolence the treatment of the Mayor of Melbourne at the Eight Hours’ Banquet could hardly be surpassed. Last year Sir Malcolm received no invitation as Mayor, but attended the festivities in his capacity of Exhibition Trustee, was seated on the chairman’s right, and delivered a broadminded speech in favour of the Eight Hours principle. On Saturday he did receive a special invitation, was scaled on the chairman’s left, and thenceforward was studiously ignored, so that the notes he took for a few remarks were wasted. Doubtless many of fhe Trades Hall people deeply resent Sir Malcolm’s severe strictures on that institution and its politics, but their feelings should surely stop short at an act of public discourtesy to the City’s Chief Magistrate. The circumstance was the cause of much comment during the afternoon,

A tasty dinner table

An altogether unprintable story comes from the back blocks about a farmer and his daughter and one of the farm hands. When the trouble was averted by a visit to the city, the farmer didn’t go out with a wood axe and slay the Lothario. Instead, he discharged him and deducted the “ expenses incurred” from his wages.

* * *

During the ride of the Imperial Bushmen from Langwarrin to Melbourne, one of the lieutenants distinguished himself by falling from his horse no less than three times. This hardy bushie, like so many of the officials of the contingent, bears the same name as a political mediocrity. The chances of the meritorious subaltern who has no relatives in high places is small indeed.

* * *

In the Eight Hours’ procession, after the spectacle of “ Disorganised and Sweated Workers,” came an exhibit entitled, “The Results of Legis lation in the Boot Trade.” with a happy father and a dozen children constituted the design. 11 Well, said a critical by-stander,

“ if twelve youngsters all about the same age are the result, then I think it’s a case of over legislation.”

* * *

In the light of the last Travelling Scholarship won by D. Max Meldrum at the Melbourne National Gallery, a popular superstition of the students is known as the 11 Scholarship nmg.”

This—a commonplace enough delf article—originated with Abbey Altson, from whom it descended to Jimmy Quinn, with prophetic injunction as to its luck producing properties.

Sure enough the unfailing magic of the mug got in its work and Quinn won, and the sacred vessel came to Geo. Coates, who carried off his scholarship cash in turn. Coates passed the enchantment to Meldrum, and as unbreakable as the laws of the Modes, the faithful mug justified its impeccable existence again.

Whether the right man invariably secures the remnant of the black arts, or the mug secures the right man, is a question only possible to a disputatious student of Divinity. Alt-son's young brother possesses the Immortal mug at present, and from the excellence of his drawing, will in all possibility sustain its invaluable reputation.

* » *

As to the authorship of the able letters that appeared recently in the Age on Wine Adulteration, the initials, “ M.L.,” have been a standing embarrassment to most people and principally to the wine merchants. The latter went so far as to search the vocabulary of their industry for a solution, but the mystery is simplicity itself. “ M.L.” resolves itself very naturally into Marshail-Lyle, whose interest in the maladministration of anything is nothing if not practical.

Last year, Murray Smith, speaking in Parliament on some matter of law administration and quoting from an American text-book, mentioned one Hancock in the course of his extract. The late John Hancock interjected, “ An ancestor of mine!” 11 I’m sorry to hear that,” said M.S., “ for 1 see further on that the gentleman was subsequently hanged foi horse-stealing.” Hancock, nothing daunted, replied carelessly, “ Mr. Speaker, will you excuse me a moment while I refer to the library shelves to find out whether there was ever a Smith hung in this colony.”

Ex-Speaker Tommy Bent—of immortal memory —is looking decidedly better since political defeat relegated him to the sea-side. He wears the rosy cheek of a colourless life again, and next October will—the Graces permitting—see him braving the ardours of election.

O ! Thomas wielder of the Mace In days of booming splendour,

Don’t leave your blameless cabbages,

Whose hearts are pure and tender ?—

But Thomas says it is’nt to his bent,

He’ll cabbage now with politick intent.

Ed. Outpost :—You were wrong about tha^ silly Trades Hall attempt to snub the Mayor McEacharn was invited as the Mayor, but before the feed commenced President Robb apologised for the non-inclusion of the Mayoral toast, alleging Council dissension as the cause. Said that Sir Malcolm had been invited as an Exhibition trustee, and suggested that he should respond for the

Another Boot Trunk Tragedy,

trustees. Suggestion refused. Subsequently, MfcEacharn re-posted to the committee the invitation he had received as Mayor. As a reprisal it was not effective. McEacharn will take a harder knock than that to stiffen him politically.

Symon, Q.C., of South Australia, was one of the first (lighters in the Federal Convention. His speeches on the judicial clauses were always incisive, and he succeeded in inserting many of his principles in the Bill. As an indication of his earnestness he is now prepared to fight to the last for their adoption. Whether his views on the Privy Council dispute be correct or otherwise, we must admire the moral courage displayed in his recent cables to England. It is scarcely fair for the London papers to say that he is fighting to keep work near his own door, and moreover, that is an argument which cuts both ways.

Australian soldiers have become so popular that every care should be taken to prevent any revulsion of the favourable feeling towards them. There is a real danger of this if the men are in any way encouraged in the idea that their uniform gives them a license to indulge too freely in drink, insult women, or otherwise behave in the manner of larrikins. There is more likelihood of the members of other contingents passing through Melbourne from Brisbane and Sydney giving themselves holiday freedom than of our own men doing so’ It should be impressed upon all alike by their officers that their popularity depends upon their respectable behaviour.

* * *

A propos of the contention that we should retain the right of appeal to the Privy Council, the following story is told of Lord Westbury. Lord West-bury met the late Sir William Erie, a distinguished Lord Chief Justice of the Court of Common Pleas, and he said, “ How is it you never come and sit with 11s in the Privy Council ?” “Well,” was the reply, “1 am old and deaf and stupid.” “Oh!” said Westbury, “that's nothing. Chelmsford and I are very old, Napier is very deaf, and Colville is very stupid, but we make a very good Court of Appeal nevertheless.”

* * *

Bookfellow writes : I dissent from the commonly alleged, and commonly accepted, reason of the sudden drop in the sale of a Bubonic contemporary of yours. Don’t think its sentimental weekly weep over the unwashed chest of the tender-hearted Boer had anything to do with it at all. Fact is that the pink paper of the plague-smitten city caters largely for the readers of topical, tit-bitty news and the war-picture publications from England are filling that void at present. Said (publications don’t make their readers snigger like the paper from the plague patch, but they encourage him in being some mere military critic. “ When the British flag is flying over Pretoria ” the Australian Newnes will come to his own again.

* * *

Thekla Dubberke, the heroine of the Boot Trunk Tragedy, married the lover of her early girlhood, the man who stuck to her through thick and thin with a persistency worthy of a better object. Thekla was engaged to him as a girl of 16 ; but when he left the colony she became one of the several victims of a Lothario working on the station where she was servant. Subsequently when the original lover returned to Vic. to claim her she refused him, giving no reason, and the man was heart-broken. Learning the cause of the refusal, he renewed his offer of marriage, but the much despised Thekla declined to let him link his name to her’s. He left the colony and Thekla came to Melbourne, where the drudgery of a servant’s life did not suit her taste. Sacked from a suburban household for apparently innocent flirtation with a male visitor to the house, Thekla flung her cap and apron aside, plunged into the {life of roses. Raptures that ended with the Boot Trunk carried down the slope of the Williams road paddock and dumped into the Yarra at dead of night On her release from goal, Thekla abandoned her old Lutheran religion for the Anglican faith, and was admitted to the Deaconess Home. There she stayed until last week, when the old faithful lover returned to press his suit once more, and this time successfully.

SlloHCt. vjjHpS/yy


Still Sleeping.


Padey Remington, the mysterious brother-inlaw of Dr. Fraser, is one of the most amusing cusses Melbourne has entertained for many years. Padey was everywhere understood to be an English barrister, imported at immense expense to prosecute his sister-in-law. In reality, he was a retired music-hall comedian, who was funnier in private life than he could ever have been on the boards. His first appearance in the city was made in a knickerbocker suit, a long waving poncho coat, one tan boot, one white shoe and a bell topper. He was followed by a crowd of chyack-ing youths, and mistaking a bystander for one of the offenders, he announced himself as “ a detective from Scotland Yard,” and promptly placed the bystander under arrest.

Padey was threatened with civil proceedings over this escapade, but they never arrived and accordingly he set off for Queens-cliff with a dramatic company. On the first night he “ papered ” the house extensively, filling every seat, but when the doors opened next evening only a bare half-dozen passed through. Padey waited vainly until 8.30, then dragged a chair on the stage, and seating himself calmly proceeded to fill his pipe. As he puffed out two big mouthfuls of smoke he remarked, “ I've paid for this hall, so I suppose I can have a smoke.”

Mrs. Kathleen Fraser, the plump and pleasing blonde lady, who accidentally shot her husband at St. Kilda, in the Eozoic Age, contemplates the purchase of a city hotel. She has left her St. Kilda terrace, but so far the expected reconciliation between her and the doctor has not occurred.

Padey’s next bid for fame was his attempt to recover the Fraser cheyild, in which he was foiled by a belligerant lady journalist and a fierce grumpy servant girl, and finally he made wild endeavors to snap-shot Mrs. Fraser in the dock and narrowly escaped commital for contempt. After this failure, Padey shook the dust of Australia from his feet and returned to England, observing that he never wanted to see the deuced country country again.

* * *

rhoughout the arid nor’west section of the Vic. province the houses of the tired “ way back” people are riddled by white ants The ant is like the ordinary domestic black ant, only a creamy white, and it burrows through a piece of hardwood that will bend the strongest nail, and reduces it to a pulp, like rotten brown paper. Not long ago some enterprising churchmen erected a substantial building to worship in, and all went well until the Priest one day suddenly went through the flooring and stuck midway. When the congregation had levered the priest out they noticed that the ceiling was shaky looking, and the church committee sauntered around whilst one of their number broke off weatherboards in the gable end, and got between the roof and the suspected ceiling. The inspector of faulty ceilings did three steps in perfect safety, but just as he was inclined to report favourably on ceiling prospects, the ceiling parted like a burst baloon, and he fell upon the committee below. The committee were not expecting him so soon, but the meeting was not the more joyous on that account. The secretary’s hat was badly bulged in, and the treasurer lost fourteen teeth. Two committee men were carried out and bandaged on a cleared patch, and the only man uninjured in the group was the inspector himself.

It would be difficult to say what might have been the result of the Imperial criticism of the Australian Commonwealth Bill, had the war not exhausted popular capacity for excitement. In some quarters even now there are heard grim references to the Boston Harbor Tea Party, and the fire-eaters of Australian politics are discussing the terms of a probable ultimatum to Great Britain. But the point involved is really so small that commonsense is sure to prevail, and our national self-respect will be fully maintained so long as it is understood that any amendment of the Bill must be authorised by the people.

The residence-inspector, opening into existence as a consequence of the bubonic plague, provides a new sensation for housewives, and it would be just as well if his duties were precisely defined. At present different suburbs have different experiences. In some districts the inspector, after satisfying himself as to the absence of man-traps and savage dogs, is content to scrutinise the backyard and see that no accumulation of objectionable refuse or vermin resorts are permitted. Other inspectors, however, are far more inquisitive, and insist upon entering the houses, intruding into every room, and even going so far as to look under the beds. In all but very exceptional cases this is totally unnecessary, and is an interference with domestic privacy as impertinent as it is intolerable.

Acting-Judge Johnston of the County Court is

exceedinglv timorous lest he should do anything which he hasn’t full power and authority to do, and he sometimes lets this nervousness get the better of him to a rather ridiculous extent. The other day a case which had occupied His Honor’s attention somewhere about last July again came before him in ils final stage. On it being suggested that he might possibly remember the former proceeding, llis Honor was exceedingly distressed. He couldn’t possibly lake cognisance of anything that had then occurred, for lit: mis another judge now. There had been no continuity in his tenure, he had left the bench, and it was only an accident that he was again appointed an acting judge. He had extreme difficulty in seeing that the chasm could be bridged over at all, but eventually counsel soothed him by informing him that the proceeding had taken place before Acting-Judge Johnston. On the understanding that he was only doing what any other County Court Judge might lawfully do, His Honor somewhat reluctantly consented to adjudicate.

* * *

Another Johnston story : Again at Geelong he was holding a County Court. At the end of the day there was one small insolvency case waiting. This was rushed through. His Honor read the affidavits filed, heard the application, and made the necessary order. The court was then closed in due form, when the judge suddenly remembered that the Insolvency Court had never be u opened. Full of perplexity he insisted on having it formally opened. Then counsel had to intimate that he “ repealed his former application ” Then the affidavits. “Oh yes ! you’d better hand them up so Hint / can say / read them." The affidavits were handed up and the judge rustled the leaves over and re-made the order as before. Form is very necessary no doubt, but all this seems a little farcical.

* * *

Although the U.S. Consul-General for Australia, Mr. Bray, is scarcely known outside the circle of his confreres and associates, inside that circle no man is admired more, and It will greatly miss him when he leaves after (lie coming presidential elections. Unlike his fellow officer, Colonel Bell, of Sydney, Consul Bray is a study in silence. Every week the 11 silver-tongued Bell" is announced to lecture somewhere, and his fame as an authority on Mars, its Population and Commerce, has spread “right over the continent.” On the other hand, nothing will induce Bray to speak ; not even the most flattering toast al a banquet-“ No man,” he says, with a smile, “needs to keep so quiet as a politician—if the reporters are around. Every time a public man talks print he puts a knot in his tether. I've been fifteen years in public life and never made a speech. But, if I don’t speak, I’m a darn good whisperer. They can’t parallelise your conversations with a man round the corner.”

* * *

Shortly after Governor Brassey had delivered a long heavy-weight sermon at a banquet, Consul Bray was called on to respond :—“ Gentlemen, I thank you. I won’t make a speech because I'm afraid of resembling (he Maine cockatoo.” “ What about the cockatoo ?” cried several as he sat down. “Well, said Bray, slowly rising, “it belonged to a farmer who had a dog that was always sleeping. One day the bird kept shouting to the dog, “Wake up! Wake lup ! but the dog just kept on sleeping. At last the bird came down and bit his tail. They had a fight, and when the old cockatoo got back to his bcrch and looked round and saw no feuthers, he said, solemn-like—

“ I’ve said too damn much.” Everyone roared except-.

The monthly magazine boom shows signs of collapsing. Munsey is ceasing to publish one of his three journals—The Quaker—but he is attempting to republish it under the name of the Junior Munsey. It may be a case of “ too much Munsey.” It is more probably “too much magazine.” Which reminds the present writer that when the war is over a number of illustrated weeklies, that at present are monopolising the funds of the reading public to the exclusion of all others, will quietly “ drop out."—Sen-sen.


JOHN LAURENCE RENTOUL.

Professor RentOul owes his widespread notoriety principally to Iris bitter controversies on sectarian subjects, and particularly to his disputes with Archishop Carr. If you are a Nonconformist you swear by Kentoul ; if you are not you swear at him.

A little man with a spare, worn frame, features sharp-cut, deep sunk eyes—one of them blinded by cataract— high cheek-bone, thin lips, and a long thin nose. Hands which clutch and claw the air tirelessly, dainty feet—he can wear a lady’s No. 4, In repose the sallow complexion, shrivelled skin and tonsure-like ring of hair join with the peculiar cast of countenance to suggest a Mongolian ascetic. At other times the ever-changing grimace impart to the features a somewhat less-than-humau appearance. Sometimes, again, yon are reminded of the type to which the faces of Voltaire and Diderot and John Morley belong, but you must beware lest you permit an intellectual similarity to suggest a likeness in feature. For these men possess many common characteristics, and Rentoul with them. He naturally inclines from the sanctified voice of hoary Tradition towards the insistent whisper of Distrust, and the loud command of Authority impels him to listen to the murmuring and muttering of Revolt. And indeed it might almost be written of him, as Kouseau wrote of Diderot, “ he had an unfortunate propensity to misinterpret the words and actions of his friends ; and the most ingenuous explanations only supplied his subtle imagination with new interpretations against them.”

For Rentoul has quarrelled repeatedly and bitterly with cacti and every one of his colleagues—saving only such as were of Irish blood. Twitching with impatience, indescribably extraordinary in gesture, indescribably grotesque in grimace, he is the incarnution of eager restlessness amt indefatigable activity.

Possessed of the highest mental endowments, he has never put his splendid intellectual qualities to their highest and best uses, but has reserved them for petty squabbles concerning inconsequential t rifles.

He was born, a child of the Manse, in the North of Ireland and educated at Belfast. Originally intended for the Law, he was 11 converted” at the time of the Great Irish Revival, and after beginning the study of Medicine he finally took to Theology. A thousand pities that he ever forsook his first love I Is ever there were a man naturally gifted for the profession of the Law, Rentoul was that man. Keen, clever and unscrupulous in argument, labourious amt studious in detail, powerful and impassioned in appeal, what a special pleader he would have made I

He was never hampered by undue respect for the opinions of his elders in matters theological, and was probably more honest than discreet in manifesting this. However, he obtained Iris License in due course and accepted a charge in Ireland. Impelled to go abroad by his craving for freedom in Theological thought, he migrated to England and succeeded in entangling himself into a newspaper controversy with Bishop Frazer, of Manchester, on the subject of Anglical ‘‘pretensions.”

About 1877 he came out to Australia and was appointed Minister at East St. Kilda, a position he filled till he received the Professorship at Ormond College, now held by him.

There can be no question as to his intellectual power. As a preacher he is one of the most forceful men ever heard from a pulpit in Victoria. But once fairly going in controversy or debate he becomes quite irresponsible and sticks at nothing. He is then utterly unscrupulous, and without hesitation will distort authorities to suit his side of the argument.

Looking back over his public life it is hard to find an instance where he has participated in a movement of real importance to the community. Certainly he strenuously opposes the Shiels Divorce Laws and when Mr. Shiels was foolish enough to publish a letter containing translated

Hebrew quotations, the Professor scored with a reply sarcastic and effective. Whether or not it would have been better for the community had the Shiels Divorce Act not become law is a point upon which differences of opinion exist. The importation of the theological element into such a discussion is- never productive of good, but for all that Dr. Rentoul is entitled to his opinion. And he has always been prominent in opposing the opening of libraries, picture-galleries and museums on Sunday, and generally in supporting the platform and the platitudes of the Sunday Observance Society. But if we except these and his attitude towards the present war, it will be found that he has brought himself into notice almost entirely by his theological quarrels or by heated outbursts provoked by some such trifle as a lost sealskin jacket.

The sealskin jacket episode was decidedly amusing. It will be remembered that Mrs. Renio'u« lost the garment, probably on the tug between the wharf and vessel, when leaving on a trip to England. Her husband promptly wrote to the newspapers about it, and his epistles were characterised by such warmth and intemperance of language that the ship-owner got angry. He proceeded to set the law in motion, and the public were only cheated out of an interesting libel action through the intervention of certain prominent citizens and churchmen. A meeting was arranged between the insulter and insulted, and eventually a halting apology was grudgingly tendered and reluctantly accepted.

1 he Strong Case has recently been revived, and as Professor Rentoul’s connection therewith is frequently misrepresented by people hazy on the actual facts, it may be well to point out that he was never one of Dr. Strong’s remorseless persecutors. At first he was almost inclined to be sympathetic ; but as the matter developed and it became inadvisable io champion the unpopular and contumacious divine, he contented himself with suggesting a middle course which might have furnished a compromise. On the rejection of his suggestion he withdrew from the affair.

His own orthodoxy is not beyond suspicion. Many Presbyterians must regard his treatment of the Doctrine of Election as unsound. Hector Ferguson thought so, and wanted to have Rentoul libelled with himself. Strong was unorthodox on the Doctrine of the Atonement, but he was sound on Election. Rentoul is the reverse. To some extent one is rather sorry for this for after all, Predestination is only a 17U1 century theological expression for our 19th century scientific Uniformity of Nature, and it is difficult to escape the feeling that it would be better to develope the former on the lines of the latter rather than to discard it altogether. But then the Presbyterian Church wouldn’t stand any foolery of that description.

With the British cause in South Africa he has no sympathy, and it is not safe to discuss the subject with him. One Sunday he preached at the College Church and some of his congregation did not appreciate his violent pro-Boer utterances. In particular they complain that he “ got at ” them in an underhand way in the prayers. This is a favourite trick of his. His prayers are often works of art. In the most charming and beautiful language he manages to say just what he wants to, and somehow you feel as if you were being deprived of your right of reply—as if he were unfairly applying the closure. A few Sundays later Alexander Youl occupied the same pulpit, and this time Professor Rentoul, being in the congregatian, did not appreciate an allusion to the Boers as a ‘ stiff-necked generation.’ When somebody afterwards hazarded the opinion that it was “a fine sermon” ; he conceded that it was “ all except the last part.”

Another Sunday the congregation at this church were scandalized by an incident in which two of his family were the actors. The Rev. Mr. Youl had just commenced a special prayer for the success of the troops in South Africa when Dr. Rentoul’s eldest son and younger daughter rose to their feet and noisily clamped out of church.

This same son- further distinguished himself one day returning from school. He was stopped by a mounted rifleman inquiring the way to the Victoria Borracks. “Going to South Africa ?” queried lie. “ Yes,” was the reply. “ Then find your own way," and the youth turned his back on his questioner. Like father, like child—and why not ?

It was his way of looking at this subject which misled the Professor into conceiving a violent affection for the Sydney Bulletin, and for a time that journal almost threatened to usurp the place in his household which of right belongs to the

Family Bible and Sho-ter Catechism. He entertained his visitors by reading extracts therefrom to them, and triumphantly pointed out passages marked in red and in blue—red where he agreed with the Bulletin, blue where the Bulletin agreed with him. And woe betide the unfortunate student, inveigled to supper by the Doctor.

Professor Rentoul is one of the best Tennyson scholars in the world. He possesses a certificate from the late Laureate to that effect. Having read an exposition by Rentoul on some of his poetry, he wrote to say he had never come across anyone who apprehended his ideas so clearly.

In his youth he was a fair runner, he is now a cautious cyclist, and can yet use a billiard cue to some purpose. He is an enthusiastic amateur gardener and may frequently be seen standing in the rain holding his umbrella with one hand and a hose with the other. His theory is that you should water your garden when it is raining. Such a theory could only be evolved by an Irishman.

Sometimes a popular nickname is extremely happy. Professor Rentoul is known everywhere as “ Fighting Larry,” and no more appropriate name could be devised for him. From the beginning he has been and to the end he will continue to be a Fighter and an Iri^mian.


Romance Retfioious.

(For The Outpost.)

I think full-hearted of the days When, on the tides of open chance,

We, with the late-hour’d fire ablaze,

Watched the lorn banners of Romance. When the old black-bottled rum we swigged. And over the colouring clays we saw “ The Ranger,” as our fancy rigged,

Sweep by the Carrabean shore.

The Princes of our hearts were then No coloured covered books for boys,

But black-souled scoundrels—proper men— Raw llesh and no poor painted toys ;

For, pictured to our waiting eyes.

Grand brutes in silk and filigree We saw, in Esquemelling, rise Out of a dead forgotten sea.

O blasphemy of gallant days—

Sugar and rum and gold and lace—

You find an echo in the praise'

That lilts in us a heart of grace :

Who see again beneath the sun The decks aflush with running blood,

And Roberts dying on the gun,

When his last tide was at its Hood.

Through the driving smoke and the cannon’s crash,

Shine swords with cunning guards of gold, And silver studded pistols Hash Across those royal fights of old ;

And the silk spoils of Spanish skill,

Gleaming with jewels hard and clear, Buckled across some Portsmouth Bill,

Or scarred and battered Buccaneer.

Pictures, pictures !—blood and gold—-And the scarcely moving summer sea,

And the crunched masts and canvas rolled About their broken destiny ;

Across a clay—a blackened clay—

We saw those grim-eyed ghosts arise Out of the pages of their day,

To breathing actualities.

Oh 1 lads in that sincerity,

The chosen hours we loved and knew Is painted all that’s best in me,

And all that’s best qood lads in you.

No hand of some frustrated hope,

No finger of encroaching chance Could touch us then who sat to tope In to the Death with old Romance.

But now that the world has lost its hold On the pagentry of Time,

And only romance is a thing of gold In the heart of the Boy-Sublime.

We needs must sigh for its poetry (Who write in the prose of men)

When, bluffing chance the ship Romance Swept out to the seas again.

L.L.


DONALD MACDONALD,

WAR CORRESPONDENT.


Brown, lean and haggard he lolls back in his deck chair at his St. Kilda home, a Donald Macdonald that nobody but his intimates can recognise. This gaunt figure, pushing its khaki coat into all sorts of discordant angles, is not in the least reminiscent of the massive lfi-stone Mac. we used to see finishing his cigarette on the Argus kerb ; or of the lithe lad the elder of us knew as the dashing Essendon follower of the early eighties ; or the youngster who used to astonish Keilor in his boyhood by studying flowers and insects and animals and doing all sorts of incomprehensible things. The alembic of Ladysmith has done its work. This is the residue.

One would pity Donald Macdonald until he rises and speaks and reveals himself the same old Essendon he used to be. Then you wonder why you felt sorry for him. He is thin—weak perhaps —but otherwise as sound as a bell. His spirits are as high as they were 20 year's ago, and of his awful experience of the past half year he speaks with the enthusiasm of the pressman who loves his work. But his enthusiasm is purely professional. Mac. has seen enough of war. Its cruelty,


its unfairness, its misery and its utter absence of romance have left in the heart of Donald Macdonald no admiration, no glamour of the fights of nations.

In the whole course of his press experience Mac. would never do an execution. He was too tender-hearted to witness the taking of a scoundrel’s life, and it is only a few days since he has has had to stand unmoved and do his duty as men he knew and loved were torn to pieces at his side. It is not the boiled mule of Ladysmith alone that has stripped Donald Macdonald of 50 lbs. of his flesh.

“ I heard a butcher call this morning,” says Mac. “I was lying in bed when he came under under my window and yelled,' Butchair !’ Its the first time for months that I've heard it, and it seemed sweeter music than Melba or Amy Castles ever sang.”

Mac. shows his broken thumb-nail where a Mauser bullet flicked him as he ran from one boulder to another that offered better cover. He grins and tells the story of his narrow escape


when a shell burst in his face and sent a fragment of iron under his armpit. He has the fragment and tosses it lightly up. It is a jagged junk of metal, weighing half a pound. The gun the shell was fired from fell into the hands of the British troops in one of the sorties and Mac. was with them, a fact that led to his being arrested and nearly shot for disobedience to orders, for correspondents were forbidden to leave the township. But before he was taken to “clink,” the Argus man secured the canister of one of the used shells. He uses this now as a dinner gong, and an instrument of excellent tone it is too, when struck, with an empty Maxim canister. Every time that gong summons Mac. to dinner, it acts as a “grace before meat” in itself, reminding him of Ladysmith in far Africa, and making him thankful he has not to face the scraps of mules and mealies once more.

Among his numberless trophies. Macdonald has a varnished loaf of mealie bread—it would have been a vanished one had the siege lasted. The loaf is just half the size of the ordinary one of brown bread, and is exactly the same in appearance. It constituted a day’s ration in the final days of the siege, and the very day that the relieving force arrived, the amount was reduced to half. Mule and horse were luxuries ; Mac bars them. Mule was the least objectionable, but he prefers to chance it on crow rather than take on horse again-He regrets keenly that Banjo Patterson or some other Australian horse poet was not in Ladysmith, so that he might write an ode to his favourite animal as an article of diet. “ I saw a good many cronk horses on Australian racecourses,” said Macdonald, “ but none of them were a circumstance to the nags 1 tasted during the siege. The Ladysmith steaks would have sickened the most inveterate punter.”

Mac. made many friends in Ladysmith, and stopped with Greenwood, of the Johannesburg Star, who was the virtual boss of the South African Athletic League. Greenwood it was who blocked the cyclists of S.A. -amateur almost to a man — racing against Bill Martin. Despite this action on a matter of principle, Greenwood was a great admirer of Phigger Bill, and instructed Macdonald to convey to him his best wishes a message which could not be delivered, inasmuch as Martin left Melbourne only a few days before the Argus correspondent arrived. Another and a greater man who became a personal friend of Macdonald was VV. G. Stcevens, of the Dttily Mail, who had attained the position of the leading war correspondent of England at the age of 30, only to succumb to enteric fever as his recovery • seemed assured. Stcevens and Macdonald found a bond of sympathy' in the fact that both were enthusiastic horticulturists ; and the greater part of their spake time was devoted to studying the flora of the land that was new to them. Thcfc is something ludicrous in the idea of Stcevens and Macdonald babbling of buttercups while shells burst about them and men lay torn to pieces at their side, but to the scientist the fate of empires is at all times but a bagatelle to the prizes of original research.

Macdonald thinks little of South Africa as a country. It is mostly barren and inhospitable, but the grass rises after the rains with such rapidity that one can almost see it grow. Cattle can thus find food, but the difficulty is to escape the multitudinous pestilences that sweep over the country every couple of years, killing almost every one of the lower animals. The upper animals of South Africa are fine physically, but very mixed. Only about one in every six is white, and the blacks consist of the aboriginal races, Kaffirs, Zulus, Hottentots and Bosjcmcn, mixed inexplicably with Hindoos and Malays and with each other.

Mac. came from Ladysmith to Capetown, and after having dinner with the captured Cronje, set sail for Australia, convinced that war is not the game it’s cracked up to be. He was a bag of bones when he boarded the ship, but picked up wonderfully on the voyage, and still, further since reaching his home. According to all appearances, Mac. should be his old self again in two .or three months, and by the lime the two leading football clubs try conclusions, the correspondent of Ladysmith should give us some graphic notes.

The stage is at present not indispensable to the drama. Indeed, to perform a good play is generally to spoil it, and only the inferior plays need interpretation in theatres. Shakspeare is never produced as written, Goethe’s “ Faust ” was only performed in full once, Ibsen on the stage is almost impossible, and most of the plays of the other prominent dramatists of the century are unknown beyond the shelves of the library. On the other hand the avalanche of stuff produced in the theatres annually passes out of sight as completely as that accumulation of drifted snow and rubbish, leaving behind it, to flourish perhaps for a few years, only a green weed or two caught in passing on the ragged prominences of the declivity. Tattle of it is printed, and such of it as achieves the dignity of type does not thereby to any degree minimise its quality as tripe. The soul of the drama is action, and the clog-wheel of action is thought. Our modern dramatists are mostly thinkers, and, as a consequence, most of their plays are unplayable. The pity of this is that the drama get into the hands of the second-rate writers, the stage declines in dignity, and the actor's art deteriorates. Of course the spirit of the age must take its share of responsibility in this as in all things. It is a flippant sort of spirit, but I cannot help thinking that the dramatists might have provided a corrective had they not so “ sickbed o’er ” their productions “ with the pale cost of thought.”

I have been led to these remarks by reflecting upon the number of plays I have read during the last few years. Ibsen, Maeterlinck, Stepniak, Gcethe, Schiller, Moliere, Shakspeare, Lessing, Bernard Shaw, “John Oliver Hobbs,” and a dozen other dramatists, new and old, have been all available and become so familiar, that I have commenced to wonder whether an easy chair in a library, and not a reserved seat in a theatre, were not the proper place in which to enjoy the drama. As if to press the question, there now comes along a beautifully printed new series of “ Modern Plays,” comprising translations from the works of all the Continental dramatists. The advertisement represents that “ it is the aim of this series to represent, as widely as possible, the activity of the modern drama—not confined to stage performance—in England and throughout the continent of Europe,” and we are promised specimens of the works of Verhaeren, Ostrovsky, De L'isle Adam, Brieux, and Sienkiewicz, all, 1 candidly confess, hitherto unknown to me. It makes me tremble to think what little time 1 will have to go to the theatre, if 1 am to be thus entertained at my own fireside. But it also suggests a less personal and therefore more important consideration, namely, that this trespass of the Drama upon the domains of Literature may bring about a re-action. It is devoutly to be wished that some dramatic genius will yet revolt against the coffining of plays in books, and will write solely for performance on the boards. Such a genius has yet to come. There been hints of him in Pinero, Grundy, Chambers, Wilde, Jones and Sardou, among English-known dramatists, but the truly big man has not yet arrived. When he comes he will raise the stage once more to the high position it is entitled to in Art.

The first of the " Modern Plays” series to reach me is “ The Father,” by August Strindberg, a Swedish dramatist. It makes excellent reading, but, having the taint ol thought, if I may so express myself, would be impossible on the stage. The theme is woman treated from a woman-hater’s and pessimist’s point of view. A wife and husband disagree and the wife manoeuvres to have the husband treated as a lunatic. That is the motif in brief and it is treated with a power almost appalling. 1 would like to see it criticised by Miss Vida Goldstein, or some other charming and chivalrous champion of the status of woman. Strindberg, of course, would be shattered and the strait-jacket in which his hero is confined in the end would be clearly demonstrated to be poetic justice. Man has for ages kept woman in a strait-jacket, it is his turn now. That would be the argument and I can imagine how effectively it would be stated. It is just the fact that the play, so-called, invites controversy that makes it quite hopeless for the stage, because, advanced as we are becoming, it is not easy to foresee the time when theatre productions will take the place of newspaper correspondence. All the same I commend “ The Father” to all my down-trodden brethern, and, more especially to my rampageous sistern.

* * *

The Chinese processions which passed through the streets last week were a splendid splash of Orientalism in our dull and prosy British city. Such gorgeousness of colour, brilliance of costume, quaintness of devices, savagery of music, and barbarism of symbols, were an illuminant to minds tyrranised by the notion that a drab complexion of things, strictly utilitarian clothes, prim Eight Hours’ banners, Marshall-Hall concerts, and the tail-hat are essential to the stability of the British Empire. People who give themselves sore throats cheering “ gentlemen in kharki,” who look with complacancy upon the antics of the Salvation Army, take the Druids’ procession as a matter of course, and greet a stock-broker’s Jingo demonstration with applause, smiled scornfully at the Tea and Vegetable John’s dragons, his tom-toms, fiddles, fans and the rest, and proclaimed them childish. Whatever else it was or wasn't it was picturesque, and the Chinese scored a complete success. Little Bourke-street was a delight during the preparations on Thursday. It was crowded all along and throughout the Chinese quarter, and the gesticulating, jabbering excitement of the Chinese, the passing to and fro of marshalls with their little red batons of office, the grouping of clean-shaven celestials, the bringing forth of Hags, dragons, banners, josses, etc., and above all, the pitter-patter of pretty little Chinese girls, enticing pink-cheeked half-castes, and tiny, slant-eyed, smooth-skinned babies, made a scene that captivated the senses. It almost persuaded me to be a Chinaman.

On Saturday and Monday nights at the Athenaeum Hall will be presented, for the first time in Melbourne, Punchinello Gilhooleyana, by Mr. Gladstone Simons, assisted by Mrs. Fred Jolley, Miss Sara Lewis ; Miss Alice Gray, Mr. Chas. Rose, Mr. John W. Dawson, Mr. C. Edward Long, and Mrs. Wm. Ewins. This entertainment has been designed by Mr. Simons to combine the humour and pathos of his Gilhooley ballads and proses..with the charm of music, bringing to the platform the art and aids of the theatre in a programme at once humourous, pathetic, musical and pictorial. So may it be !

At Professor Marshall-Hall’s orchestral concert on Saturday afternoon the following excellent programme will be performed Overture, Iphi-genia in Tauris (Gluck-Wagner); Arie, Le Nozze di Figaro (Mozart) ; Pianoforte, Concerto I) minor (Brahms) ; Duet, Tristan und Isolde (Wagner) ; Eine Faust Overture (Wagner)—first time in Australia. Soloists, Madame Elsie Wiedermann, Herr Rudolph Himtner, Herr Eduard Scharf.

The remarkable things that happened to Jones are still happening with the happiest results at the Princess Theatre. There is a neat artistic touch in reducing the audience to tears before convulsing it with laughter, and the effect is achieved by the pathetic curtain-raiser, “ An Empty Stocking,” the pathos of which is, however, soon forgotten in the troubles of Jones. The farce has hit the public taste, and crowded houses testify the appreciation of a real good thing.

* * *

With the aid of a wardrobe of kilts, a Russian spy and a Nasmyth hammer, Mr. Anderson has staged at the Theatre Royal, a thrilling melodrama, under the title of "The Ladder of Life.” It is a military production, but happily free from any allusions to the present war, the hostilities with the Afridis, in connection with which the Dargai Heights incident was a central feature, being the inspiration of the play. I have always maintained that in the melodrama lies the germ of the drama of the future, but I confess that the consistent mediocrity and monotonous repetitions of the pieces staged nowadays, together with their tremendous popularity, are a somewhat mournful commentary on my forecast. At the same time 1 do not despair, and yet have a hope that when our dramatists are tired of society subjects, as they have sickened of sex problems, they will yet turn their attention to themes taken directly from the lives of the people. “ The Silver King ” was a hint of what might be done, but it was only a flash and has not been followed by any conspicuous prototype.

To return to "The Ladder of Life” it must be said that the performance, in spite of extravagances unhappily inseparable from melodrama, is interesting throughout. The scenes and tableaux are well sustained by a good company in which Messrs. Robert Inman, Bert Bailey, Augustus Glover, Willard, the Misses Guildford, Kathleen Duggan, Dora Mostyn and Geòrgie Leighford.

* * *

“ Hands Across the Sea ” is familiar to Melbourne audiences, but its reproduction at the Alexandra Theatre on Saturday night was received with a heartiness of approval which shows that its popularity has not waned. It has the advantage— somewhat exceptional—of having a coherent plot, which, when interpreted by a good company and set in good scenery, goes a long way towards ensuring success. Mr. Woods was at home as the hero, a part which he has played in England over iooo times, and Miss Maud Williamson as the heroine gives one of her usual intelligent and agreeable interpretations. Other characters were well filled by Misses Lindahl, Mortyne, Jackson, and Messrs. Coughlan, Mackenzie, Boothmam Hodson, Woods, Cass and Hesford.

Garrick.


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GO TO -    - J. FRED HEWARD, 60 Elizabeth Street.


My Dear Muriel.—It is wonderful how the war topic has pervaded society, even to the extent of influencing ladies’ dress. . The fashionable khaki and plaid materials are proof of this, and the “ Lancer ” hats, which are displayed in most millinery establishments, and which, fortunately, never have become fashionable, show, when worn by the few, to how great an extent patriotism may prevail even over good taste in head gear.

One of the latest war novelties appears in a recent shipment of umbrella handles opened by Messrs. Robertson and Moffatt, and which bear miniature portraits of the different generals engaged in the war, set in the silver mounting of the handles. I met a patriotic friend rejoicing over a khaki photographic frame which she had just purchased. I quite expect to find the mantelpieces of her new house draped with khaki, and her chairs upholstered with the same material.

* * *

The Toorak Skating Club will probably be started next week on much the same lines as last year. Tuesday evenings and Thursday afternoons have been reserved as formerly. It was to have commenced immediately after Easter, but owing to one of „fits chief promoters, Miss May Harper, being absent at the Warrnambool festivities, the opening night has been postponed till her return. It was rumoured a short time ago that the club, which has always been considered a fairly exclusive one, was to be managed by a still more exclusive committee, who wished to admit only their personal friends, and who required that even old members should be re-elected. Those who had been duly elected when the club started and who had relied upon the time-worn custom of “ once a member always a member,” were looking ruefully at their last year’s tickets, as one might regard a dishonoured cheque, and musing upon the fleeting nature of human greatness. However, we are all glad to hear that the club is to be under the same management as formerly, the only changes being that the subscription is raised from 2s 6d to 10s, and the committee is to consist partly of married ladies.

* * *

The wedding of Miss Elsie Robertson to Mr. Stephens took place at St. Peters’s Church on Thursday, 26th instant. The church was prettily decorated with arches of white flowers, autumn leaves and palms. The wedding dress was of rich white satin, with yoke and sleeves of pearl embroidery ; the tulle veil attached to the back of the hair was secured by a knot of orange blossoms. The only bridesmaid was a sister of the bride, Miss Jean Robertson, who wore a frock of ivory satin, with yoke and sleeves of real lace, the rounded yoke bordered with a deep frill of lace, having a fichu effect. A white hat with ostrich feathers completed the costume. The bride was given away by her step-father, Mr. Agar Wynne. Dr. G. Owen was best man. A reception was afterwards held in the drawing room of the Grand Hotel, Spring Street, and refreshments were served on the landing, which was tastefully decorated with palms and lace drapery. The guests numbered about foity, amongst whom were Mr. and Mrs. Walter Coldham, Dr. and Mrs. Power, Mrs. and Miss Riddell Stanley, Mr. Mrs. and Miss Blundell, Mr. and Mrs. William Oliver, Mrs. Prout Webb, Miss Greig, Rev. E. Hughes, Mrs. Roland Graham, and Mr. Roberts. Mr. and Mrs. Stephen sail almost immediately for England.

Miss C. McPherson was married to Mr. N. Brown on Wednesday last, at the Scots' Church, Toorak, at 2 o’clock. Her dress was of white satin, with fichu of Honiton lace, and folded bodice.

She wore a coronet of orange blossom and a tulle veil. Her bridesmaids were Miss Ethel McPherson, Miss Edith Brown, Miss Ruby Brown and Miss K. Fraser. They wore white satin frocks, and white hats with black feathers. The guests were afterwards received at “ Eldene,” St. George s-road, Toorak, after which the bride and bridegroom left for Warrnambool.

The marriage of Miss Janet Snodgrass, second daughter of the late Mr. K. Snodgrass, and niece of Janet Lady Clarke, to Mr. F. Chapman, took place at All Saints’ Church, St. Kilda, on Wednesday. The bridesmaids were her two sisters and Miss Ivy Clarke, and Miss Eileen Hughes. The reception was afterwards held at the residence of Major and Mrs. Hughes, uncle and aunt of the bride, “ Kantaka,” Alma-road, where wedding breakfast was served. The honeymoon will be spent in Tasmania.

The marriage of Miss Bessie Gray, to Mr. Norman Bayles, is fixed for Wednesday, May 23rd, at St. Peter’s Church.

* * *

The engagement is announced of Miss Beatrice Anderson, second daughter of Mr. Anderson, “ Salisbury House,” South Yarra, to Mr. Edward Manifold, “.Wiridgil,” Camperdown.

* * *

It seems quite like old times to see the flag flying above Government House once more. It is to be hoped that the busy week which lie has had will not prove tyo trying to His Excellency after his recent illness, though his health appears much improved since his holiday at Frankston. Mr. and Mrs. Harry Osborne are staying at Government House.

Mrs. Thos. Lewers has issued invitations for an “ At Home ” on Monday, 7H1 May, at “ Clontibret,” South Yarra.

Invitations have also been issued by Mrs. Lewis Kiddle, “ Moultrassie,” South Yarra, for an afternoon “At Home,” on Friday, nth May. The lawn party, which was to have been given by the old Melburnians in the Church of England Grammar School grounds on Saturday, 28th inst., has been postponed till the following Saturday, in consequence of the procession of the troops through the town on the first-named date.

* * *

A dance was given by Mrs. Cochrane, at “ Hazelwood,” Camberwell, on Thursday, 26th inst., as a farewell to Miss Bessie Gray, who is to be married shortly. The evening was a most enjoyable one, and dancing was kept up till a late hour. Miss Cochrane looked very well in a stylish black frock ; Miss Bessie Gray wore black relieved with pale blue ; Miss Dolly Nicholson wore a pretty white frock ; Miss Barrows was in black ; Miss E. Walter, white satin with maize chiffon fichu ; Miss S. Carter, black satin, with turquoise blue on bodice, and blue sash. Other guests were Miss Singleton, Miss Adeline Fraser, Miss Gaunson, Messrs. Ii. Collins, Roberts, A. Lewis, J. Drysdale, A. Russell, W. Greig, A. Greig.

The Banks Rowing Club Ball and the Melbourne University Ball will, as usual, come rather close together, though they ought not to clash, as each has its own circle of supporters, and, as private dances are likely to be few and far between, a great many will probably attend both. They will both be held in the Prahran Town Hall, the Banks on Friday, June 1st. and the University on Thursday, June 7th, instead of the 8th, as was first arranged. In order to prevent the University Ball being overcrowded as it was last year, the number of tickets will be limited.

The Royal Horticultural Society's Fruit and Flower Show which was held in the Town Hall was opened by His Excellency, Sir John Madden, on Thursday, 26th inst. There was a large attendance of flower-lovers during the afternoon, and many beautiful varieties of chrysanthemums were displayed. The beautiful bridal bouquet and the uneral design exhibits by Paton and Sons looked well worthy of the first prize, which they each took in their respective class. It is hard to understand why the prize table decoration took first prize, as the flowers seemed scanty and insufficient still the whole effect was dainty and rather more novel than some others.

An interesting and unusual function, which took place on Wednesday at the Wilson Hall, was the unveiling of the late Chancillor’s portrait by His Excellency. There were a number of people present to witness the ceremony. In the opening speech in which Sir Henry Wrixon presented the portrait to the Lieut.-Governor in his capacity of Chancillor, he laid somewhat unnecessary emphasis on the preparations which were already being made to hang the portraits of future chancellors. His Excellency replied in suitable terms, and the portrait, which was painted by Mr. Long-stall, was then unveiled, after which afternoon tea was given by the Princess Ida Club. Among those present were Lady Madden, Lord Richard Nevill, the Bishop and Mrs. Goe, Lady and Miss Wrixon, Dr. and Mrs. Orme-Masson, Mrs. Dunbar-Hooper, Mrs. Pucker, Mrs. Maudsley, Major Bartrop.

A series of subscription “At Homes,” to take place during (he winter months is being organised by Mrs. Frank Stephen, “ The Avenue,” Windsor, with the object of helping musical artistes in Melbourne, who, naturally, have been the first to suffer from the universal war depression. The following ladies have kindly lent their drawing-rooms, and will give afternoon tea to the members :—Janet Lady Clarke, Mrs. Bingham, Mrs. Robert Harper, Mrs. Wesley Hall, Lady Sargood, Mrs. Holroyd, Mrs. Leonard. Season tickets, £1, admit to the eight “ At Homes.” The subscriptions will all go to pay the artistes.

* * *

There were so many attractions on Saturday that one found it difficult to spend the day to the best advantage. A large crowd assembled in Albert Park to see the Bushmen, whose imposing and wonnanlike appearance did much to reconcile the crowd which had waited for them for two hours. A number of carriages and hansoms were drawn up to witness the inspection. His Excellency was accompanied by Lady Madden and Miss Leslie Madden. Lady Clarke, who takes great interest in military matters, was present, accompanied by her daughter and Mrs. Bingham. Mrs. and Miss Currie and Miss Rowe occupied another carriage, and Mrs. Cruickshank was in a hansom near by. Mr. and Mrs. Geo. Skinner drove out in their dog-cart and a smart little pony-cart was occupied by the two Miss Blundells. There was the usual array of bicycles, many of them being ridden by well-known girls, who seemed rather to enjoy the excitement of the crowd and to be strangers to nervousness. “ I like a bicycle,” one of them called out, as she waved her hand to me en passant, “ it’s so mobile, I’ve already out-flanked them twice 1

In the afternoon Janet Lady Clarke, who is president of the Royal Melbourne Ladies’ Golf Club, assisted by the council, gave a tea at the Caulfield Links, which were in excellent playing order. The chief event of the afternoon was the “ foursome ” contests, for which handsome prizes had been offered. Tea was served in a large marquee, after which, putting, approaching and driving contests were held, and the prizes were presented by Lady Clarke. AH the arrangements were carried out by Mrs. Trapp and Mr. Balfour Melville, the joint secretaries. There was a large and fashionable attendance, consisting of both players and onlookers. Amongst these were Miss Clarke and Miss Lorna Price, Mrs. Chas. Fairbairn, Mr. and Mrs. Nash, Mrs. Chas. Ryan, Mr. and Mrs.

F. Dobson, Miss Calder, Mrs. and Miss Brodribb, Mrs. and Miss Carrington, Madame and Miss Dejardin, Mrs. X. Coidham and many others.

The Trinity and Ormond Boat Race, which took place on the lower Yarra during the afternoon, attracted a large number of spectators. Many were assembled on the banks to watch the finish, and the steam launch, “Invincible,” which followed the course of the race, was crowded with enthusiastic onlookers. Dr. Deeper, as usual, took a keen interest in the race, and it was with a considerably increased aspect of serenity that he quitted the launch on its return to the wharf.

Dorothea.

The Imperial Bushmen Leaving' Mentone on Saturday.


A Company Leaving Langwarrin.

“WHEN AUSTRALIA GOES TO WAR.”


tni;

P^y5 Ike pr'ce"

w


q30S3K1 PftWoti^QKllfeKK)«


Mm

ar


I be city^/ree fox tbe wars cf trade Simmers in Sweat and grime ;

The bush in a ¿&rb cf ¿old arrayed Rings with tbe axes cbime Tbe regiment sleeps at its' base and /louts Tbe snarl of tbe distant guns But right in the reach of their ugly snouts Tbe lean lone outpost runs

'^¡v'ere all of us well looked a/ter, we’ve com/orts lly the score Our hair is brushed our clothes are neat and nice WeVe a pint of beer jfox tbe asking

and tbe chance of a dozen more. WeVe three sguXre meals and a girl to meet ana a padlock on tbe door And the outpost bears tbe brunt and


jle is the bait tbe statesmen play J To make tbe^/bemen bite, lbe pawn tbats moved and thrown away To block tbe mobile knipht ,

One of the army's hundred eyes,

One of its thousand bands ; Where "the ambush hides and tbe danger lies

The Empire’s outpost stands__

likst tbe thrill of tbe burning strife ,out of the range“ of Tame, Into the death that waits unheard unseen


Where the_/lower-/lecked rises torture and the waving grasses maim 'Where the trees are spitting bullets and tbe rocks are spurting yiame Tie outpost of tbe Empire rides serene.

n peace be brands his country's runt On clearskin lands and seas •,

He braves the Tropics breath o//lame The bleak bare Arctic breeze. Hc/lings the. gage in Natures gate Her mighty force de/ies (And. thousands baste his tracks to trace

Whene’er the outpost dies.

to carry us into town , trains to tbe /ar Out-Back ,

WeVe never to chew the water out cf mud ,

Or cat our boots when we meet Despair

under the hunger’s rack We take our case as we jog ahead' over the sey-same track Where the outpost strewed bis bones and

^_gave his blood ._


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.    The Harrier season opened on

Harriers. Saturday last) at Brighton Beach.

As usual the opening took the form of a combined run, in which all the metropolitan clubs joined. A large gathering of spectators witnessed the start and finish, and the continued popularity of the sport was evidenced by the splendid muster of harriers. Altogether 178 took part in the run, and Mr. Parkinson’s whistle, presented to the club turning out the largest number of members in uniform, was again won by the East Melbourne Harriers, who totalled 41. The clubs were represented as follows East Melbourne 41, Melbourne 35, Essendon 21, Carlton 19, Clifton and Northcote 17, Auburn, 14, Kootscray 14, Malvern, 8, Melburnian Hare and Hounds 8, Coburg 1.

East Melbourne’s figures must almost constitute a record for the opening run, though I fancy the same club exceeded them a year or two back. Melbourne's number is exceedingly creditable. Members of this club wore a black band on the

Duncans, O'Hanlon, and Jennings were leading in a line, and close up were H. D. Smith, Cyril Dunn, Redmond, E. H. Serle and others. A little further and H. D. Smith and Serle dropped out and Redmond improved his position. 100 yards from the tape S. Duncan went out and J. K. fell back. The finish resulted in a win for S. Duncan (Foots.) with O’Hanlon (Carl.) 2nd, Jennings (Aub.) 3rd, Redmond (Melb.) 4U1, Dunn (Aub.) 5th, and J. K. Duncan (Foots.) 6th.

Speaking at the dinner given by him after the Stanley Rowley complimentary meeting, Mr. Cohen, the President of the V.A.A.A., referred to the excellent afternoon's sport which had been provided. He expressed the opinion that it would be much better for the Association if arrangements could be made to hold gatherings on similar lines more frequently. He was certain that this would prove much more beneficial than the present practice of obtaining a race or two in the programmes of large fetes and carnivals. It must be admitted that Mr. Cohen’s remarks were very much to the point. It is very questionable whether racing at the Exhibition or the Friendly Societies’ Gardens does any good to amateur running, and that leaving altogether out of consideration the question of betting. Of course, now that the cross-country season has commenced, nothing must be done to interfere with it. But next summer the Association will do well to think seriously rather of running small meetings by itself than of providing items for larger sports

The Malvern Harriers hive had rather a rocky time of late. Towards the end of last season it almost looked as if the Club would fall to pieces, but a few determined workers pulled it through. The beginning of this season brought more misfortune. Years ago the Malvern Harrier’s Club was formed from the Malvern Gymnasium, and ever since its headquarters have been at the Gymnasium. But the Gymnasium 'people have been obliged to quit their old building, and they can’t find another. So they are wandering about house-hunting with £.30 in hand and a good stock of materials, and no one will take them in. And the Harriers have been following them round. However, there is some hope that the Cricket Club will come to the rescue. The Harriers’ annual meeting was held in the Cricket Club's pavilion last week, and was fairly attended. Mr. C. A. R. Clarke was elected Secretary ; Mr. H. S. Locke, Treasurer ; and Mr. G. C. Arcus, Delegate to V.A.A.A. The following obtained seats on the Committee :—Messrs. Arcus, Ashworth, Rowe, Cattlin, Grant and Wilson. Mr Clarke is a hard worker, and 1 wish him and his Club a successful season.

The annual meeting of the Melbournian Hare and Hounds was held at Phair's Hotel on Saturday evening last. Mr. A. B. Thomson presided and the attendance was good. As usual with this club the meeting took the form of a smoke concert, and the serious business was taken in instalments. The report showed the club to be numerically very


The Placed Men.


The Opening- Run.

arm on account of the death of the father of George Blair. Clifton and Northcote is to be complimented on the advance it has made.

The hares, Messrs. Parkinson (Melb.), Briggs (M.H. & H.), Brockett (E.M H.), W. Arkley (Ess.), Travis (Carl.), and Clough (Foots.), laid a 5 miles trail, beginning up the road over the railway, then across country on the right for a mile or so. Next they made a slight detour to the left through some scrub, thence headed sharply to the right down to the beach, over a prickly patch and then home round Hampton.

H. D. Smith (Melb), pace, and Don. McDonald (Auburn) and J. K. Duncan (Foots), were in charge of the fast pack, while the slows had for pace E.

H. Serle (E.M.H.), and as whips H. Corbett (Carl.), and A. B. Finlayson (C. & N.). At Hampton the hares went down to the beach, but the pack followed the road. About half a mile from home the hares returned and spread the balance remaining of their trail across the road to mark the starting point of the race-in.

The race-in was restricted to four men from each club, and was started by Mr. Phillip Shappere. The men went off with a rush, and the pace was very warm throughout. About half way the two promoters. The M.C.C. authorities have been very kind in assisting the Association, and there is no reason to suppose that their kindness will not

continue.    -

I am indebted to a correspondent for the follow-lowing :—The Walking Club held its final country excursion for the season last Sunday to the Werribee Gorge, Bacchus Marsh. A cold nor’ westerly and threatening clouds had an effect on the attendance, but those out had a very sunny and enjoyable day. After the recent autumn rains all the country was clothed in a luxuriant spring of herbage, the hills showing soft and velvety. The lunch halt was made at the entrance to the gorge some two hour’s walk from the station. After a short exploration of the ravine a start was made on the home journey over the paddocks in quest of mushrooms. Some passing showers had made the road more wet and squidgy on the way back to the station, which was arrived at in good time and coffee being made on the engine, “tea” was partaken on the journey down. Tho’ a few showers fell during the afternoon one of the party remarked, “ Well, I take it the test of a wet day is whether one gets wet or not and we are not wet.” At the same time the coffee was “ grateful and comforting.” strong, having no less than 68 paid-up members The balance-sheet showed a small surplus. The club was fourth in the 'Cross Country Championship, and won the Track Championship. It provided two members for the Victorian Intercolonial Team, one of whom, C. H. Gardner came back an Australasian Champion. Mr. G. E. Blanch of the Grammar School was elected president. Mr. A.

O. Barrett captain, Mr. W. L. Thompson vicecaptain, Mr. W. Briggs secretary, Mr. C, H. Gardner treasurer, and the ballot for committee resulted in the return of Messrs. White, R. Bur-brick, A. B. Thomson, Robinson and Garlick. Mr. Briggs was created a life member in appreciation of much work well done. Fourteen new members were elected and it was intimated that there were more to follow. Altogether things ¡promise well for the wearers of the white mitre. Amongst others Messrs. Dow, Rigby, Maloney, Purbrick, Connell and Tate helped to liven the proceedings,

The Melbourne Athletic Club have now entered into possession of the Mel lourne Rowing Club’s shed on the Yarra Bank. The date of the official opening ceremony will be arranged at the next committee meeting.

(Continued on fJ/n>c 16.)

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The Warrnainbool Racing Club’s annual meeting resulted, as most of their doings, in capital sport. It is more of a ghymkana business than the ordinary run of country meetings, and the rivalry amongst the magnates of the district is only keen in its keenness to win.

There was a capital attendance on every day of their meeting, and, although the quality of the cattle running was not quite up to Western District form, there were one 'or two horses that showed something like brilliancy.

Victor, who won the Steeplechase, sh iped like a good one—as a brother of that excellent little horse Soult should do. lie fenced well, and appears to have any amount of pace.

Mysore, on the contrary, seems to have got a fit of the funks, as he would not jump at all, and showed plenty of nasty temper.

Everyone was delighted to see MY.' J. McArthur win a double with Verne and Alva. Verne, a sister to Hobadil, ran up to her best form, and is very smart and now can apparently stay.

Old Alva ran a remarkably good race, and won like a good one. He is a most awkward horse to get ready, and takes Moran, who trains for Mr. McArthur, all his time to get him lit, as he is so delicate, and wastes with an extra gallop.

.* * *

A large number of horses left during the early part of the week to fulfil their Adelaide engagements. Mr. J. Davis is taking three, Veneda, Stagelight and Palmerston. Others who went were Lyddite, Affable, Promontry and Amourette. The South Australian Jockey Club will start their meeting on Saturday next at Morphitville. 1 think it very likely our lot will do well. Lyddite looks particularly well in the Goodwood Handicap, and Mr. J. Davis will take a lot of beating with his best, as all his horses seem in great form just now. * * *

Nobody has had worse luck since he has been at the game than Mr. Alick McCracken. He sold recently both Drama and Carlotus, who immediately afterwards showed winning form, Drama being high up in the handicap division in New South Whiles, and Carlotus will doubtless suffer for his win on Saturday last at Sundown Park. He has always been a delicate horse, but now he has struck winning form there is no knowing how good he may turn out, as ho is by Carlyon, out of that beautifully-bred mare Whiter Lily.

It is not often the Messrs. Miller are unrepresented at suburban meetings, but they had none of their horses running at Sundown on Saturday last. They hive three really good jumpers in Welfare, Iramoo, and Borderer, and when the stable fancy their chance with any of this trio, they will be well worth following. The Messrs. Miller have had horribly bad luck of late with their horses, and as they enter more horses than half a dozen ordinary owners, it is to be hoped their turn of luck will come and they may show us another Redleap.

What a horse he was to be sure. The year he won the double lie was simply invincible. 1 recollect Mr. Miller that day going out into the straight at Klcmington to give Jim Scobie a word of warning —as Scobie had backed the horse he was riding (Blue Mountain) very heavily. But the Ballarat horseman would not hear of the possibility of defeat, but Redleap simply made a hack of him—and Blue Mountain s subsequent running showed how good the form was.

» * *

There was some capital racing at Sundown Park on Saturday last, and despite a smart shower early

in 'the afternoon, the attendance was extremely good, and taking it all through backers had the best of the deal with the “ Books.”    .

In the Trial Handicap there was little to choose in favouritism between Kola, Mervyn and Dutch Admiral. Mervyn won a most exciting race by a head from Mukvala and The Sceptre, with Carita, who will win before long, fourth. Dutch Admiral is a nice sort of a colt by The Admiral from The Frau, by Progress out of Wellington’s dam Frou Frou.

Mr. R. H. Frew sent out the favorite in Signal for the Hurdle Race, but MTntosh had to ride all. be knew to get away from Parrakeet at the finish Edge’s horse being only beaten by a neck.

The books had a regular throw in when Carlotus got home in the Sandown Park Handicap. The gelding, who was only recently sold by Mr. A. M’Cracken for 122.J- guineas, was entirely unsupported by the stable, but he won all the same from Adjuster and Goodman. The Musketeer was backed in this race down to five to two, but ran badly and could not get nearer than fifth.

That smart Malua filly, Malva, who started an equal favourite with Speculation in the Suburban Handicap, over five furlongs and a quarter' got home in good style from Kooma, whom Mr. J. Davis fancied a lot.' Speculation failed to run up to expectations and could only run into fourth place.

The Steeplechase was one of the most extraordinary races ever seen. Stamford, who was favorite at five to four, and ridden by Tom Hales’ brother Harry, just reached the post a neck in front of Bloodwood, but the stewards evidently thought that it was only on suffrance, as they had the riders of Bloodwood, Mailboat and Ilaut Ton up before them, but they all got off scot free, the explanation in each case being deemed satisfactory.

In the Weller Handicap people seemed to have come from all parts of Queensland to back their old horse Dumbeil, and they evidently did not think it was possible for him to get beaten—but he met his Waterloo in La-France, a beautifully-bred filly by Carnage,out of the Newmarket Handicap winner, Wild Rose. Belli La-France and Dumbbell started at the same price, five to two, and the mare won by half-a-length, after an exciting race. Dumbbell bad all the worst of luck during the race —but he probably could not have beaten the winner, who is evidently something' out of the common.

* * *

To-day Mr J. R. Crooke holds a meeting at Aspendale Park, which is sure to be well patronised. He has had a capital entry, and there is sure to be good sport.

In the Maiden Plate I like Auber. The Hurdle Race Is simply a walk over for Monte, and if lie is anything like himself, Wigmork should about win the Trial Handicap. The Aspendale Park Handicap might go to Progression (who is by no means a bad one) or Adjuster. If Eiridskordr were anything like his old form the rest would have a»sorry time with him in the Jumpers’ Flat Race, but lie possibly is a light of other days, and it would be better to trust a horse like SpeculaTIon, whom we know is in form. The Welter Handicap may- he won hv Sedge, whose party were very confident of scoring at Klcmington recently.

* * *

The weights for Saturday’s next race meeting at Caulfield came out on Tuesday last. The entries were fairly good, and there is sure to be a good gathering. The following horses should run well.    .

The Federal Stakes.—British Admiral or The Sceptre.

Hurdle Race.—Orient, Borderer, or Mort Avis.

Glenhuntley Handicap.—The Musketeer or Carlotus.

Steeplechase.—Land's' End' or Spieler.

Glenferrie Handicap.—Carita or Karrara.

Brighton Handicap.:—La France or Mervyn.

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The Field Artillery Brigade mustered in strength at a smoke night at the B Battery Orderly Room on the 25th ult., to say goodbye to Colonel Kelly and the other officers and men who had left the Brigade to join the Australian Imperial Regiment, and each of those who have gone to turn to account in South Africa the training he has received here, was the recipient of a parting gift from his comrades.

Colonel Kelly when thanking the Brigade for the way it had shown its feelings towards those who were going away, referred to (he different treatment his Regiment had received from the Government. He said if such treatment had come from senior military officers he would have remained silent, but as it was from the Government he was free to criticise it. Those men who had previously left this colony to serve their Queen in South Africa, had graciously been allowed free passes to bring their relatives to the city to see the last of them before they sailed, but in the case of the Imperial Regiment no passes were available. The men of the regiment when in uniform had even to pay their own fares on the railway line between Langwarrin and Melbourne and when travelling on the suburban lines to say good-bye to their relatives and friends. The officers, too, had to resign their commissions and to completely sever their connection with the local force. He could not understand it. He had served 32 years in the military forces here, had climbed from a gunner through the grades of non-commissioned officers and commissioned officers, he had gained experience which might be of use in the colony and he was going where he might gain greater experience. His home, his friends, his business,,and his interests were in the colony and he hoped to return to it ; but he had been practically told that if he ciid return the benefit of his experience was not required here. The treatment the Regiment had received was such that might cause the men to go away with feelings of bitterness towards the Government, but they would try to forget it.

Major Clark and Captain O’Farrell also thanked the Brigade for the kind send-off that had been accorded them. Captain O'Farrell is the Adjutant of the Victorian portion of the Australian Imperial Contingent. For many years he served with the Brigade, and with the rank of Major had been in command of C Battery until a few years ago, when business necessitated his attendance in London, and he gave up his command, and his name was placed on the Reserve of Officers. He returned from London a few months ago, and had just resumed duty again in the Brigade, acting as Captain, when he was appointed Adjutant in the Regiment He is a quick and intelligent officer, and cool and resourceful enough to apply his intelligence as occafions arise. When in command of C Battery he had the complete confidence of all ranks under him, and his masterly, though gentlemanly, manner in dealing with men will soon win for him the confidence of the Imperial' Bushmen. It is quite safe to say that among all the officers who have left Australia for service in South Africa there are few, if any, better horsemen than Captain O’Farrell.

Mr. Donald Macdonald, who’ was present at the smoke night, was called upon for a speech. He said that while in South Africo he had plenty of opportunities of seeing all branches of the fighting forces in action, and no branch of the service was doing better work than the Field Artillery. He had seen the effects of its fire on the enemy, and it was such that he dare not describe it in speech or in writing. He would have liked to have seen Colonel Kelly going away in charge of P ield Batteries, for he had seen the batteries at service practice here, and he knew that they had been handled in the manner to punish an enemy as he had seen the enemy punished by the Royal Artillery in Natal.

* * *

At a meeting of the Council of the Ritle Association held last Friday night, expressions of welcome were tendered to Lieutenant-Colonel Henry, who, owing to a recent alteration of the rules of the Association making the officer commanding Cadets a member of the Council, was present at a Council meeting for the first time. Lieutenant-Colonel Henry’s energy and enthusiasm in rifle shooting and in military affairs generally are well-known, and he should prove a valuable member of the Council.

Several members of the Council referred to the apparently dilatory manner in which the work in connection with the erection of canvas targets at Williamstown is being attended to, and fears were expressed that the militia forces, which are now being armed with the Martini-Enfield rifle, will have little or no practice in shooting for many months unless the work is pushed on rapidly. Lieutenant-Colonel Reeve informed the Council that Mr. Blackburn of the Public Works Department had assured him that active work in connection with the trenches required for the targets would be commenced very soon, and that plans of the targets had almost been completed, and as soon as they were ready, tenders would be called for the supply of 100 targets.

A letter from the New South Wales Rille Association was read, in which it was stated that the annual matches of that Association would be held from the 22nd to the 27th of October next. This announcement will be of interest to riflemen in this colony, for almost every year upwards of 100 marksmen compete in the matches of the New South Wales Association.

Several letters were received from secretaries of country ritle clubs, asking if the Council intended to sell the steel targets now at Williamstown, and if so, at what price. Until more canvas targets have been erected, the steel ones will not be taken away, for practice with the Martini-Henry rifle can still be carried on at them.

A committee consisting of Capt. Merritt, Capt. Marshall and Mr. Guinn was appointed to make enquiries for a new office for the Association. This is a matter which is not being attended to any too soon, for the office now occupied is a dingy, unventilated room in which one would not be likely to remain longer than was absolutely necessary.

The Member’s Match this month will be held on Friday, the 25th, and Saturday, the 26th, and either Martini-Henrv or Martini-Enfield rilles may be used, for the match will be fired on the experimental canvas targets now at Williamstown. Seven shots will be fired at 500 yds. and seven at 600 yds., and those who use the Martini-Henry rille will receive a handicap of one point at the shorter range and two points at the longer range.

The Member’s Match for April was fired last Friday and Saturday. Seventy men competed and the sum of £6 J2s. 6(1. was available for prizes. The amount was divided into 17 prizes, ranging from £1 to 2s. fid. The prize winners and the scores are as follows :—Mr. Miles (Bannockburn), 33, 32, 65 ; H. J. Guinn, 32, 32, 64 ; Capt. Marshall, 31, 32, 63 ; F. Mitchell (Ballarat), 32, 30, 62 ; J. Grummetf, 28, 32, fio ; Dr. Travis (Drouin), 33, 26, 59 : Mr. Parker <Slawell), 32, 26, 58; Corp. Tooteli, 27, 30, 57; CoL-Sgt. Stevenson (Bendigo), 33, 24, 57 ; Mr. Scott (Murtoa), 33, 23, 56 ; li. Walker, 28, 26, 55 ; If. Saker, 28, 27, 55 ; Mr. Laidlaw (Wangaratta), 3r, 24, 55 ; Lieut. Martin, 24, 30, 54; Mr. Heap (Murtoa), 29, 25, 54 ; Mr. Fargher, 30, 24, ,54. Scores of 54 made by Lance-Corpl. Ross (Eaglcbawk) and D. Paul were counted out. The ranges were 500 yds. and 600 yds., and seven shots were fired at each. It will be interesting this, month to watch how the handicap given by those using the new rifles to those using the Martini-Henry will work. Scores of 63, 64, or 65 are too good for any rifle to. give a handicap of three points to.

In a competition held by the Melbourne Rifle Club last Saturday xo shots were fired at 800 and 10 at 900 yards. Mr. T. Urquhart easily outdistanced all other competitors, for he compiled the fine score of 83. This was 17 points better than the next score.

POLYGR0OVR

A WONDERFUL CURE. TWELVE YEARS A SUFFERER. A PATIENT IN’ THREE HOSPITALS. FULLY ONE HUNDRED DOCTORS ATTENDED HER, and DIAGNOSED HER CASE BUI' COULD EFFECT NO PERMANENT RELIEF. V1TADATIO CURED HER. READ HER TESTIMONY.

91 Collins-street, Melbourne.

27th March, 1900.

Mr. S. Palmer, 47 Bourke-st., Melbourne. Dear Sir,—For twelve years 1 was a sufferer ot Bleeding Polypus in the Womb, and was treated by the best medical skill in Ballarat and Melbourne, without avail. 1 have been in three hospitals, but derived no permanent benefit from the treatment 1 received. 1 was advised to try Vita-datio, and after taking a course of the medicine, 1 am completely cured. The medical men who attended me expressed their astonishment at my recovery, and stated it they had not attended me THEY WOULD NOT HAVE BELIEVED HAD SU PEERED AS STATED. 1 write this for the benefit ol similar sutterers, and you are at liberty to publish and make what use you like of it. —Yours truly, (Signed) M. Beckham.

P.S.—Altogether fully ONE HUNDRED DOCTORS attended to and diagnosed my case.—M.B. ANOTHER WONDERFUL CURE.

BRIGHT’S DISEASE CONQUERED.

54 Lander-st., Eedlern, N.S.W., March, 27th 1900.

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I was advised to try Vitadatio, which I did, and after taking live large bottles, 1 am in reality a new man ; all pains and aches have disappeared. 1 am now able to follow my usual work with pleasure, and do indeed feel grateful for such a medium, and am pleased to be able to recommend it to others,—I am, yours sincerely,

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Ladies’ Driving Competition—Miss E. Calder, 3 drives, total 299 yards ; Miss Brown, 3 drives, total, 253 yards. Ladies Putting Competition— Mrs. A. Nash.

It is high time some steps were taken by the Melbourne Golf Clubs for the management and engagement of caddies. At most of our links a player on arrival is rushed by a miscellaneous


(Amatuer Sport, Conti lined from Page /j.)

The Hon. See. of the V.A.A.A. is in receipt of a letter from Mr. Richard Coom bes, who writes as Secretary and Treasurer of the ■' Australian representation in England and Paris fund ” to thank the Victorian Association for assistance given, and also for courtesy and consideration shown to Mr Stanley Rowley, the selected representative. Over here wc can only regret that we were unable to do more than we did. In spite of the speedy organisation and unfavorable conditions under which it was held it is probable that there will be a small profit on the “ Rowley Complimentary Meeting ’ when accounts are finally adjusted. The profit would undoubtedly have been a large one had we had a longer time to make arrangements, and a better day. It might be well to intimate that the private subscription list is still open.

A half-mile race arranged to be held at the Hospital fete last Saturday night had to be cancelled for lack of entries. The notice was somewhat short, but for all that racing men had ample opportunity for informing themselves of the event. If they will not take advantage of the chances which offer they should not growl at the paucity of races.

To-day’s fixtures Essendon, at Essendon ; Carlton, at Carlton ; Clifton and Northcote, at Clifton Hill ; Melbourne, at Heidleberg ; East Melbourne, at Camberwell ; Malvern, at Malvern ; Melburnians, at Caulfield ; Eootscray, at Footscray ; Auburn, at Auburn.

Saturday was a practice day on (iolf Notes, most of the links, no important matches being played, but the ladies of the Royal Melbourne Club celebrated the opening of the season by inviting a number of their friends to afternoon tea on the links. Janet Lady Clarke acted as hostess and received the guests at a marquee erected near the club house. In spile of the unsettled state of the weather a large number of visitors attended. Several competitions were held, the full results of which appear below. At the conclusion of the day’s play the prizes were distributed bv the President of the Ladie’s Club, Janet Lady Clarke, for whom cheers were called and heartily responded to. The following are the scores :—

Mixun Dmmi.KS Handicap.

Handi-

Gross.

cap.

Net.

Mrs. C. Fairbairn and W. J. C.

Riddell............

97

3

94

Miss Calder and Dr. Hope ... Mrs. F. A. Campbell and Dr. B.

100

3

97

Thomson ... ... •••

111

13

98

Mrs. Keep and D. M. Maxwell ...

114

14

100

Mrs. Blair and A. J. Cooke ...

T14

10

104

Miss Officer and S. Joshua ...

112

8

104

Mrs. Nash and A. Nash ... ...

ÏI5

10

105

Mrs. Greene and J. 1). Howden ...

107

0

107

Miss Lowers and F. A. Campbell

120

13

107

Miss Gibson and R. Gibson ...

125

17

108

Mrs. Trapp and W. Bruce ...

I LI

4

109

Miss Shaw and W. G. Maconochie Miss Gumming and H. G. Gum

I 10

0

no

ming ......

127

16

in

Mrs. Ross Watt and F. A. Moule

130

18

112

Miss Brown and N. Brookes ...

116

2

II4

horde of boys clamouring to be engaged to carry or clean clubs. It is impossible for players, especially visitors, to pick out the most deserving boy. The whole proceeding is most disorderly. Caddies should be engaged through the caretaker or club professional, and badges issued to caddies who have proved themselves competent. Clubs in other colonies seem to manage their caddies without any difficulty, and there is no reason why this should not be done in Melbourne.

It has been suggested that team matches between the various ladies clubs might be successfully arranged. Each of the principal clubs has a lady’s club annexed to it and teams of four, at least, could surely be procured, and as the true lady golfer is always a keen sportswoman, the matches would quickly create high rivalry and interest. It is to be hoped that some energetic secretary will formulate a workable scheme and carry out the project this season.

Vardon seems to have offended Brother Jonathan's tender feelings by admitting he was hunting the almighty dollar and not the bubble reputation, and in consequence has been promptly christened “ Dollary Vardon.”

In one of his last matches at Aiken, South Carolina, he played the best ball of the two local professionals beating them by one up and creating a new record (75) for the course. At Pinehurst, North Carolina, he played the best ball of three professionals in a 36 hole match and won easily by 8 up and 7 to play. It is presumed his entertainment in this locality gave him no opportunity to repeat the suggestion once made by the Governor of South Carolina to the Governor of North Carolina.

An Englishman and a Scotsman played a match for a sovereign and were all square at the finish. Playing the deciding hole the Englishman drove off grandly, played a good second and lost his ball. After a long and fruitless search, he yielded to temptation and dropped another ball. This was too much for the Scotsman, who jumped up in a lit of virtuous indignation—

“ Dod, man, ’tis a new ain as ye’ve bin let fa’

“ For thirty guid minutes I’ve sat on your ba’.”

There are nine clubs competing in

Tennis, the first-class pennant matches, the largest entry ever received since these matches were played under the present system, and the entries in the other classes are well up to the average.

The Lawn Tennis Association of Victoria has been prompt in publishing its official handbook for 1900. It contains much useful information.

Last year there were two divisions in the first-class, the teams in each respective division playing against the other teams in the same division, until the finals, when the leading team in the lower division played the last team in the higher or “A” division for the right to play in the finals.

This year the Committee of the Association have decided that every team should play every other team one match in the doubles and one in the singles, and that the four teams scoring the highest aggregate number of points in these rounds should play off the finals on a neutral court, the three leading teams to have a handicap of three points, two points, and one point respectively, and the fourth team to start from scratch.

It is to be regretted that the Intercolonial Match with New South Wales which was to have been

played in Sydney at the end of last week has been abandoned. An attempt was made to postpone it for a few weeks, but the Lawn Tennis Association of New South Wales could not see their way to consent.

The M.C.C. Autumn Tournament, or the Buckley Tournament, as it was called before the trophies presented by Mr. Mars. Buckley were won outright, was completed last week. The trophies were first given to encourage play on grass courts, and the tournament has always been played on the grass, but this year, owing to the continued wet weather, the grass courts became so cut up after the first two days, that it was decided to complete the matches on the asphalt courts.

Necessarily, the grass play was only of a mediocre character, especially on the second day, as it was impossible to put a roller over the ground ; the play on the asphalt, however, was very good.

Dunlop was the hero of the tournament, winning the championship singles, and with his old partner, Diddams, winning the championship doubles. His play in the final of the singles, when he beat Norman Brookes three sets straight, was splendid, and at first he completely outclassed the South Yarra man. The third set witnessed a splendid tussle, and was only won by Dunlop after fourteen games had been played. It was certainly hard luck for Brookes to have two—to say the least of it, very doubtful decisions—both given against him by the line umpires, when in each instance he only required one point to win the set. However with Dunlop playing so well, it probably did not materially alter the score.

Dunlop and Diddams also won the final of the Doubles, three sets straight, from Green and Fraser, and, though the play was good all through, there was never much doubt about the result.

Far different was the match between the champions and the Albert Park pair, Baynes and Spence, in the semi-final; and a man who was unaware of the latent power in Dunlop and Diddams was quite ready to lay three to one on the Albert Park men during the second set, as they were then beating the Melbourne men at every department of the game, and were also playing better together. Diddams, of course, was short of practice, and the wet weather had broken a string in Dunlop’s racket, which seemed to affect his driving shots, but, even so, it was a good performance for Baynes and Spense to have won the first two sets very easily, and to have three games to love in the third set. The turn in the tide came then, as Diddams began playing up to form, and the champions finally won the match three sets to two.

Saxon followed up his success at Geelong by getting into the final of the handicap singles, when he was somewhat easily beaten by Mills, of the Malvern Tennis Club.

There were some very close matches in the ladies’ single handicap, especially in the final, when Miss Collis beat Miss Calder two sets to one. The game between Miss Calder and Miss Greene in the semi-final was quite a surprise. Miss Greene won the first set six games to love ; then Miss Calder took the next set, six games to three, and had the first four games in the third set. Then Miss Greene came with a rush and won five games running, but the effect had been too much for her and Miss Calder eventually took the next two games and the match.

The second class pennant matches commenced on Saturday last. South Yarra beat the Vacuum Club by three rubbers to one and Canterbury were

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Who’s the Champion?


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If there has been any doubt as to whom the title of “ Champion Cyclist of Australasia ” belongs, W. C. (Newhaven) Jackson seems to have settled it beyond dispute at the recent Sydney Electric Light Carnival, when he ran rings around a field of such first-class riders as Walne, Gordon, Forbes, Lewis, M'Donald, and Morgan, winning the three motor-paced tournaments, two 2-mile handicaps from scratch, four international scratch races, and establishing three Australasian records, viz. : the one mile behind motor pace in 1-37 2-5, the three mile motor-paced in 5-12 4-5, every one of the three miles averaging 1-44 1-5, and the two-mile competition in 4-6 2-5. Jackson attributes much of his success to the easy running qualities of his Massey-Harris Bicycle.


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The matches between Ormond and Melbourne victorious against Windsor by four rubbers to love, and Fitzroy and Albert Park were, however, postponed.

The crew to represent Victoria in Rowing, the Intercolonial Eight at Brisbane, on May 12th—consisting of James Donald str., T. Davies 7, W. Hughes 6, A. Hall 5, A. Dawson, 4, J. Cockbill 3, C. Stamper 2, J. Suffice bow, and J. Counihan, cox-—left by W\& Arawatta on Saturday. The work done by them during the last week has been closely watched by a number of the regular attendants on the river, and the general opinion is that they are a very ordinary crew. Their body swing is very uneven and loose, and the catch and drive weak, much more so than one would expect. They will have about eight days on the Brisbane river, and will probably improve a bit, which is badly needed. If the other colonies are up to what some of their crews have shown, Victoria has a fair chance of going down, which, in the interest of rowing, would do no harm.

During the last week here great anxiety was felt by those closely connected with the crew that a coach should be sent to Brisbane to assist them. Things even went so far that a man was practically decided on, and it only needed the consent of the committee. This, however, was not forthcoming, A special meeting of the association committee was held, and the majority were against sending any of the available coaches. Considerable amusement was caused by one of the members intimating that a prominent oarsman recommended a friend of his as coach. The friend is practically unknown in rowing circles, and certainly possesses no knowledge of the science of rowing. Needless to say he was not accepted.

«55“Ask for BOSISTO’S “ PARROT ” BRAND

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The annual Intercollegiate 8-oared race was held on Saturday on the Lower Yarra. The competing colleges were Ormond and Trinity. From a good start the Ormond led, the rowing in both boats being very rough. Ormond led for about a mile by nearly a length, when Trinity drew up to them, and, rowing much better form, they drew past and won by a couple of lengths in slow time, 13 min. 11 \ secs. Dr. Springthorpe acted as judge, Mr. E. Carlisle as referee, and Mr. Harold Irving as starter The crews were as follows :—Trinity : bow, C. Maxwell, lost. 2ilb.; 2, H. Eulford, list. 4lb.; 3, H. Sutton, I2st. 5'b.; 4, H. S. Bush. list.; 5, W. S. Sproule, list. 2lb.; 6, S. D. Green, 11st. 5lb.; 7, J. A. Wallace, I2st. 81b.; stroke, R. A. O’Brien, I2st. 2lb.; cox., K. S. Cross, 8st. 131b. Ormond : bow, J. T. Anderson, list. 2lb.; 2, T. G. Ross, list 12lb.; 3, D. Braham, list. 2lb.; 4, A. Rodway, 11st. 41b.; 5, C. Williams, list. I2lb.; 6. E. D. Ulrich, lost, nib.; 7, H. Whiting, list. 51b.;

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Chas. Donald, who is to represent Victoria in the sculling match against Daley and Slack, is doing a lot of work. He is being assisted by Frank Edwards and should derive great beneiit from his coaching. Donald has not up to the present met any good sculler, and though lie lias a large order on, nevertheless, lie is gelling himself as fit as possible in order to do himself justice. For tlie energy alone that lie is throwing into his work lie deserves success.

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, .Stated that Percy Hunter, who went home as Barton’s private secretary, has secured a good Government appointment in London.

; When the I’lugger made his first appearance at a meet in Perth lately, he was put 45 yds. behind acmtelt ill a two mile handicap. Martin put up half a mile in 52 sec., hut Platt-Betts did it on the same ground in ’98 in 50 2-5II1 sec. At the same meeting l’lugger Bill won his heat and the final in the mile handicap from 20 yds. behind scratch. Also, on the same day he toddled away with the Five Mile Scratch.

Editor Outpost.—The evergreen “ Plugger Bill” Marlin turned up in Perth last week, much to the surprise of 11s “ gropers,” who had come to the conclusion that the " American ” was not at all likely to wend his steps in this direction, and many and varied were the comments passed upon his first appearance on the training track the evening following the day of his landing. Very many of spectators refusing to believe their eyesight whilst .other's were willing to wager' any amount that Bill was cn route to Honolulu or other distant shores.

Your old friend, Freddy Burming, has evidently taken Martin under Iris wing, and already there are rumors of Syndicates getting up meetings, though I don’t think arty members who were connected with the visit of the champions in May of last year will be over eager to risk a similar “ blow out ” even with such an advertising medium as the present visitor. There is no gainsaying the fact that cycling received almost its death blow in this colony from the Easterner’s visit last year, and the public have not forgotten it.—S.vsTxruoPKit.

Wheeling tells a story illustrative of the touching devotion of the cyclist pure and simple to his wheel : A popular wheelman in one of the Midland counties had lost his mother-in-law. A brother cyclist meeting him some time after the bereavement offered his condolences, saying, “ I was awfully sorry old chap to hear of your loss.” “ Yes,” replied the man in mourning, “ hut never mind I've got another.” “ What, another mother-in-law,” said the condoling friend. 11 Oh,” said the other, “ tlrat's what you mean is it ? I thought you were referring to my bike which was stolen while 1 was away attending the funeral.”

Report from Amer ica has it that the Sieg plant is likely to be operated again. This means some sensational I notion .with the American Bicycle Co., and as there is a good deal of capital and enterprise at the hack of tire Sieg people, and some interest attaches to lire identity of the people interested, the story, if there is anything in it, promises to star tle the manufacturing community. When the Sieg Co. failed, the stock was taken possession of by Morgan and Wright, and the greater part of their stock is in the hands of the rubber trust. Last autumn, the trust threatened, failing certain arrangements, being consummated between them and the A.B.C., to operate the Sieg plant in the teeth of the latter concern. On the other hand the rubber trust people would finance the A.B.C. if they agreed to purchase all their tyres from them. The A.B.C. compromised, agreeing to take 75 per cent of their tyres from the rubber trust. How the relationship ot the two trusts will work out, and whether there is any truth in the rumour of disruption are still matters of doubt.

Last Friday evening Mr. W. J. Mountain, jun., was elected chairman of the L.V.W. Mr. Moun-• tain is a well-known figure in the Essendon Counoil aitd is equally well-known to the business men of this city as the secretary of the A. U. Alcoek Electr ic Light Co,

The Half and Ten Mile Championship of Australasia run on Saturday at the Exhibition-has resulted in another victory for.Wallace Tyres. Mr. W. E. Shrimpton, our Victorian champion, who succeeded in carrying off the One and Five Mile Victor ian Championship, has now proved that he is also the Australasian champion, and Wallace ' Tyres helped him every time.

The League of Victorian Wheelmen have sanc-, tibned-tlre revival of road racing. At the Executive meeting held last .Friday evening it -was-decided that the inter-club championship road contests be carried out for the trophy now held by the Victory Club. There never was any valid reason for the abolition of these contests, provided they started well out of the metropolitan area and limited the fields to a reasonable number of., competitors:

Charles Brown Kellow, whose portrait appears on this page, has lived a varied life that has seldom been marred by failure. He made a pot at goldmining in Westralia, romped away with the big

Austral Wheel Race after returning, and then set about establishing a cycle-manufacturing business that has grown into a very solid affair. C. B. Kellow knows a great .deal about a great many things, but disguises his knowledge with great success. ‘‘Masking his batteries.”

Tyre statistics in the United States show

1,250,000 single and 750,000 double tyres turned out last year. It is estimated that this enormous output is largely due to the present prevalence of the cheap tyre. The number of cycles tur ned out is in no way to be computed by the output of tyres. Tyre manufacturers are safe in stocking ahead- of demand for a couple of .years, because the ar ticles they manufacture are standard, not changing from season to season as cycles do.

Bewildered wheel devotees, who like to .be up-to-date, should be wary of asking advice as to the best bike, or the best rim, or the best brake from •irresponsible newspaper writers. Which particular fitment to adopt for the new season is a perplexing question, but don’t be so frightened of being victimised by the agent if you ask his opinion. It is very likely that theagent will fix you up to suit himself, hut there is some getting at him after if he stays long enough ¡11 one place, whereas the elusive newspaper person can fool you with impunity.

The.last race meeting for the 1899-1900 season was held at the Exhibition last Saturday in connection with the Melbourne Hospital Bazaar. An ...excellent programme was provided.and if included f. motor-paced tournaments’ the Half arid Ten Mile ■ Australasian Amateur Championship, ¿30 handicap and a 2nd and 3rd Class race.

The attendance was only fairly good until the Chinese procession arrived at the building andthey brought with them over two thousand additional spectators, who stopped and witnessed the sports. In the evening every available space was occupied, and the immense crowd took great interest in -the cycling events.

Probably the fact that the Chinese were to hold ¡one of their novel processions in -the arena after the cycling events were concluded .accounted for the largely increased attendance. Unfortunately for the Chinese before the cycling events were concluded, there was a heavy downpour of rain and the fireworks and procession had to be abandoned.

The Melbourne Amateur Wheelers half-mile handicap provided some excellent racing. The first heat had to be re-run owing to the lap-scorer sending .the competitors a lap too far. In the final the officials again bungled and the men were - kept .waiting ten minutes at the start, while.the officials tried.to find out which riders were entitled to compete. Goodson gave a splendid exhibition of handicap riding, but, unfortunately, was handicapped out, and Moran won somewnat easily.

Artie Coleman won the Second and Third Class Handicap by a length from C. E. Woods and A. Browne, after a very interesting race.    .

The Motor Paced Tournament provided a great race, and Beauchamp beat Walne by a good length if not more. The judges first gave the race a dead-heat, but within 15 minutes afterwards, altered their decision and gave the race to Beauchamp. Their explanation was that they had been judging races between the two motors so many times during the week, that they fell into the error of doing the same thing on this occasion. The time was fast, the three miles being covered in 5 minutes 39 2-5th secs.

The Half Mile Australasian Championship was a gooc-l race. Besides the Victorian representatives, W. Rickards represented Queensland, while C. A. Cameron was the N.S.W. representative, Ben. Goodson, who won two World’s Championships in America, also competed. In the 3rd heat Goodson beat Rickards, the Queensland representative, and the four riders in the final were Goodson, Cameron (N.S.W.), Shrimpton (Vic.), and j. M. Davis, who secured his place by being fastest, pacer.

The last half lap was very exciting, Cameron going out first and leading into the straight, where Shrimpton and Goodson tackled him, and a great race up the straight resulted in Shrimpton (Vic.) beating Goodson (N.S.W.) and Cameron (N.S.W.) by the bare width of a tyre. Lady McEacharn presented the Championship badge, and Shrimpton received a great ovation.

The Bazaar Handicap was run off in the evening and provided some good racing; Hunt annexed the final by about a length from Morgan and A. B Gibbon.

Sir Malcolm M’Eacharn presented the second Australasian Championship riband to .Shrimpton, who again proved his superiority over the other colonies’ representatives, in the Ten Miles Australasian Championship. The public seemed to appreciate long distance races and Whiting was well applauded for his magnificent pacing. In the last lap another great contest was witnessed between Shrimpton, Goodson, Cameron, and the Queensland representative, Rickards. Shrimpton won by a lew inches and the proverbial blanket would have covered the first six riders as they crossed the line.

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' .A race between the two De Dip« Dunlop racing tanclems was arranged for the. concluding event, but the rain fell wetting the track and the motorists declined to ride and the event lapsed.

The Brighton Cycling Club will hold a cycle race greeting on the Brighton Cricket Ground on . Queen’s Birthday next. The programme includes two open event's, a Two Mile Handicap, of £4 10s., .with 2s. entry and 6d. acceptance fee, and a Five . Mile Scratch race with £3 10s. The other events include an Interclub Teams race, open to 4 members of any bona-fide cycling club, the entry fee . being 8s. for each team. Entries .will be received up to Monday, 14th ■ May, at the Southern Cross Office, Brighton, F. A. Boyd, Middle Brighton, or by Mr. G. McDowall, Hon. Secretary Brighton Cycling,Club, Brighton.

Preliminary meetings have been held to consider the advisability of the formation of another amateur cycling club, having for its object, the furtherance o£ Section A interests in regard to racing, etc. The attendance was hardly of a representative nature, either in point of numbers or in influence, and at the present time prospects are none too flattering for the future success of the movement.

By the majority of amateur wheelmen the advisability of taking such a step at the present juncture is severely questioned, the general opinion being that to again revert to the old conditions of a multitudinous array of clubs would be ■ little short of disastrous, to the cause. The promoters of the movement, however, state their determination of seeing the project carried to a successful issue, and further meetings for. llnppur-pose of electing office bearers, etc., are announced. A general meeting of the M.A.W., to consider the situation was held on Thursday evening last, full particulars of which will appear in our next issue.

Recent numbers of the Cycle Age contain a good deal of correspondence about the business policy of the A.B.C. Generally the opinion seems to be that it is not a good idea to employ one salesman on three different lines of wheels. It takes one man to sell one wheel, he has that wheel by heart, and knows all its talking ¡points,' he can place it where no other person could. But the moment you try to split up his energies among three or four lines of wheels you spoil him for any one of them. The anti-trust man, carrying one line, follows hot foot in pursuit of the -overburdened man of many, and wins over him all the time. Of course, well-known makes of wheels, however ! they change agencies, carry a certain reputation with them, and their flock of followers, but a real live agent who concentrates himself upojvone line ' can change all that, and every day -the name question counts for less.’

Rqbt. Wajne is going to England 011 the 15th of this month. He intends racing during the coming season in England and at the Paris Exposition. Walne will be accompanied by R. W. Lewis, who recently won the.Eight,Hours Wheel Race.

The Albion Works, Braintree, Essex, have ■brought out a new . puncture locator; the “Millenium.” It is made up of a net, like a tire cover, with a wire in each ,edge, one being larger than the other. To locate the puncture, insert the tube in the net and spring the larger .wire through the smaller. Then inflate the lire and immerse in water, When the puncture, is, ,qt once discovered.

Cycling contains a favourable note of a new free-wheel fitment, a front wheel brake fitted to Swift machines. The new brake is. apparently very. cleverly designed and adjusted : it acts instantaneously, and brings no strain to bear on-the rim. It is especially satisfactory used svilh the Swift Bowden pattern brake, in conjunction with a free-wheel clutch. .    ,

The chainless -wheel,-is every day winning more adherents, and not among the “ crank ’’ section, either, but among sensible people who have investigated its merits. The manager of a large Washington firm recently .told a Cycle Age man that ten out of every twelve cycles lie sold were chainless,:and.now that so many chainless models are being fitted with coaster brakes, the boom is sure to increase.

American news to hand reports the flooding of the Iver-Johnson Works at Fitchburg, Mass., through the rise of the Nashaii River,, on whose banks the , factory is situated. That the flood occurred in the heart of the busy season is -the most unfortunate part Of the affair. The damage to stock was inconsiderable, but three days loss of time is serious to the manufacturer.

The utfer and complete disrepute into which cycle racing has fallen this season is still another argument for the M.B.C. taking over .the control of the sport. And that club is more vitally interested than it seems to think, assuming that it ever does think. As a Billiard Club it is only a moderate success, and its present existence depends upon the success of each Austral meeting. And the success of each Austral meeting depends' upon public enthusiasm. And the first day of the last Austral scotched what was left of that. The crowd hung on to the last, but it \vast a.-very exhausted and cynical crowd. The Billiard Club aspect* of fii fr

M.B.C. is one about which this paper will have sdmething unpopular to say shortly. "    .

Walne’s Blue Riband is still on view at the “ Kcllow ” Depot. Among the many fine wins on the “ Kellow ” cycle, perhaps the most meritorious performance was his ride for the One Mile Australasian Championship (the Blue Riband of the Cycling Path).

Wheeling, London, has recently changed trands, and is now set by linotype.

B.S.A. Free Wheels are quoted at a low figure, as arc all cycle part accessories, sundries, tyres and tyre material by the Ideal Tire Co. (A. G. Healing and Co.) Richmond. *

G. R. Morgan, the brilliant “ Kellow ’’ rider * rode a great race in the final of the Bazaar Two Mile Handicap, also in his heat he left the back division standing.

Shrimpton’s unique performance of winning the three most important Amateur Championships for the year of 1900 is one of the most brilliant cycling feats yet chronicled in the Southern Hemisphere. Shrimpton’s performances were alt accomplished on the well-known “ Kellow.”

At the unregistered meeting held at St. Kilda on Saturday;' Massey-Harris riders met with their usual success, W. C. Roberts, of Maldoii, winning the Wheel Race, and L. \V. Whitson, of Terang, the One and Five Mile Championships. They both rode splendid races, and well merited the prizes they won.

A striking instance of the universal popularity of Dunlop tyres was afforded during the siege of Kimberley. The cycling scouts of this besieged city running short of cycle tyres telegraphed by searchlight to Lord Methuen asking that a supply of Dunlop tyres; etc., be forwarded at the earliest opportunity. Lord Methuen, recognising the urgency of the need, forwarded the telegraphic message to the Dunlop depot at Cape Town, who at once executed the order. Another instance of “ Dunlops ” to the front.

The Dunlop Tyre Co., Melbourne, are in receipt of the following cablegram :—Paris, 30/4/'00.—E. Taylore established new World's Record on Parc des Princes track, riding 3« miles 126X yards in the hour, paced by motor tricycle.” Edouard Taylore is only a youth of 19 years, but during the short time that he has been racing he has performed wonders, and is to-day recognised as the fastest French pace-follower, he having last season proved well nigh invincible at His favorite distance, the hour. The previous record for the hour was 30 miles 1144 yds., ridden by Taylor last Septem-so that the French clack has succeeded in adding almost two miles to his old figures. The latest performance of Taylore’s is a marvellous piece of sustained riding, averaging as it does about 1 .min. 33 secs, a mile, or five seconds better than the Australian mile record (held by R. Walne). Taylore yvould be paced by a powerful Dunlop motor tricycle, similar to that used by Beconnais, the French motorist, who recently the astounding distance of 43 miles 185 yds. in the hour on his five horse power motor tricycle on the same track. The Australian Hour Record is 29 miles 450 yards, established by T. Relph on the Sydney Cricket Ground iii March 1S9S.

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R. H. Walne    1st.


Estaiu.isHki) 1889.


C. B. KELLOW, Manufacturer, 154 Swanston St., Melbourne.


FOOTBALL.

“ Drop-Kick ” writes : —

The king of winter outdoor sports is fast approaching and very shortly the giants will be battling for the premiership. For the past few months Hie war lias attracted great attention, and with cricket being almost at a standstill, lovers of outdoor games have had little to attract their attention. There appears every likelihood of football booming as it did ten or twelve years ago, as il has been coming on very much this last two seasons. For the improvement in the game, the Football League deserve a good deal of credit, as they have endeavoured to stamp out anything detrimental to its advancement.

* * *

It is worthy of note that they have reinserted the rule dealing with professionalism which had inadvertently been allowed to dropout of the printed rules. This is a matter which at all times must be kept in view in order to avert the collapse of (he game, as immediately professionalism of any kind is allowed, goodbye to public support. Another perhaps smaller matter which has attracted the attention of the authorities, is the rather loose manner in which some of the teams appear on the playing grounds in the matter of clothing. One often sees perhaps half a dozen players in different coloured caps, and some with big slouch hats which are not at all attractive. The League decided to draw the attention of club secretaries to the rule relating to colours, etc., and asking their attention to the neatness of the players.

There is great activity amongst the various clubs arranging and training their players, and one hears tall tales of who are likely to be on top. It is as yet too early to offer any opinion, it would he foolish to do so, but I cannot help recording that should ihc Smith Melbourne be up to anything like what their supporters assert, (he others in the League section had better get going to be within caoee. Of course all sorts of rumours are afloat, which lose nothing by being handled by the enthusiastic barracker.

* * *

The Victorian League are doing their utmost to maintain the high standard of football, and to do away with anything likely to be detrimental to the game. They are endeavoring to keep players up to the proper time of starting and also appear on the field properly dressed and in their own colors, which is a good point. Last Saturday several practice matches were played, principally between teams representing League and Association clubs. For some considerable time the Association have complained that the League would not pick a representative team to play a like team of the Association, and have even gone so far as to insinuate that the League authorities were afraid of being beaten. They have been supported in this matter by almost every football writer of the metropolis. The results of some of the matches below will perhaps be a small argument in favor of the League, and if delegates on the Association desire to be on anything like an equal footing with the leading body they will not press for an exhibition game unless it is that they have nothing to lose and everything to gain The premiers of last season’s League clubs played against Port Melbourne at Fitzroy. Fitzroy were pretty strongly represented, though severol old players were absent. Ports had several juniors on trial, and from start to finish were never in it, The ’Roys fairly walked all round them, and the spectators could not but ridicule the writers who have all along heidithat the Association football is superior to the League. I know of several leading players who are very anxious to have a match played to test the relative strengths, and it is hoped that should an opportunity present itself it will be brought about. The result of this game was :—Fitzroy, 17 goals 20 behinds ; Ports, 1 goal 4 behinds.

* * *

Goliingwood played the Footscray (premiers of the Association) on the Footscray ground, and again showed the superiority of the League team by scoring 6 goals 8 behinds to 5 goals 3 behinds. Neither side was fully represented.

Carlton met North Melbourne and kicked 111 goals 10 behinds to 3 goals 6 behinds.

Geelong tried conclusions with Ballarat on the Geelong oval and scored an easy win by 9 goals 9 behinds to 3 goals 2 behinds.

Answers to Correspondents.

Press : You say we “ omit to publish any platform. You do not define your attitude.” Well, why not. .    .    . J.B.S. : The free list is entirely

suspended. We are in the business on a gold basis—like you. . . . Yalvo : Cannot publish. You’re notion of impartiality is driveling. The paper stands behind every member of the staff. .    .    . Radical : No, we have no convictions, but

innumerable prejudices. You are amongst them. .    .    . Critic : He is the mildest and most modest

of men. No, he did not start the Jam Lable Club, but he does preside. .    .    . Admirer : There are

two of them. The elder did the dream. B.L. is an Englishman .    .    . F. H. H. : Thanks. “He

was an unclean beast.” Why publish it though. .    . . Fair Play : Scandal about a medical prac

titioner received. You’re a small-minded person anyway. Besides the man was only a very small rake and a very large fool. Student: The power and character are admitted. But he was a public nuisance for a long time. Also he hit everybody everywhere, and should not complain. .    .    .

N. Melb.: He is quite able to look after himself He has done very well up to the present, anyhow .    .    . J.B.N.: Not suitable. . .    . M. Young .

No, there is not any intention of permitting tha-

sort of freedom. .    . . Leno : Marshall Lyle

will appear next week probably. . . . Y.M.C.A.: It possesses at least the distinction of being written by someone who knows the subject at first hand. It was not liberty at all, it was license. Lena': In Society is written for women, not men. You “ think ” the other sort of thing “ smart.” Don’t “ think.” You’re incapable of it. .    .    . Jack

Cade : Why do you spell Herald without the H ? Do you think it is funny. . . . J.C.B., S. Yarra : The Outpost is not running a financial column because it has views about newspaper responsibility, and the writers of these columns are always the other way. . . . Dix : The Self-Same Spirit is a quotation from Lawson. No, he is not the author. The series will probably be published in book form. They may be illustrated by the Lindsays. . . . A.C., Carlton : “ A Wail from the Wilds.” Lift waiting. .    .    . Jumbo : Get back to the

Zoo. .    .    . Toan Jorrens Poem, “ Let me die

for Australia,” to hand. Cheerfully. .    .    .

Lamp : No it was not Hall but Champion who “ winded ” some brushmen at the Yorick by suggesting a Government bonus on the exportation of Australian pictures. . . . N.E.G.: Lionel Lindsay designed and cut the blocks of The Outpost poster, Syd. Day did the printing. . .    .

J. F. D. White : Communication too long. Returning papers. . . . H. McIntyre : Considering one set. Others being returned. Peg away.

DRIGHTON C/CLING CLUB—Queen's Birthday, Sports Meeting at Brighton Cricket Ground, May 24. Open Handicap Bicycle Race, 2 miles, ¿4 1 os.    Nomination, 2s. ; accept., 6d!

5 Miles Scratch Bicycle Race (open). ¿3 10s. Nomination, 2s. 3 Miles Clubs’Team Race", open to four members of bona fide clubs. First prize, ¿4 4S- Entrance fee, 8s. a team. Nominations’, with entrance fees and performances for the last two years, close Monday, 14th JMay, at Southern Cross Office, Brighton ; F. A Boyd, Church street, Middle Brighton ; R. Mitchell, Glen Huntly-road’ Elsternwick ; and Secretary Elsternwick Cycling Club, E. Lannon. G. McDowall, Hon. Sec.

PROTECTION FOR CYCLISTS.

SPECIAL NOTICE.

THE OUTPOST will prosecute any cases of alleged “Road Hogging” by drivers of vehicles when such action is approved by its solicitors, Corf & Rylah, of Collins Street, Melbourne. The co-operation of Tourists and Road Riders is invited.

Grimbly’s Hotel,

Brighton Beach. 1 en Miles from Melbourne.

Meals at all hours in the Spacious Dining Room. Tea and Coffee. Boating and Fishing Parties arranged for. Wines & Spirits of the best.

Tel. 37, Brighton. J. R. CATHIE, Proprietor.

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ÄN ÄU5TRÄLIÄN NATIONAL newspaper


VOL. I.


MELBOURNE, MAY 12, 1900.


No. 3.


THE ROY (confidentially): A LYDY TO SEE YOU, SIR.

THE P.M.G. : GOOD LORD, ANOTHER PATRIOT!

THE BOY : WELL, IT’S NOT A YOUNG ’UN THIS TIME, SIR ; BUT SHE LOOKS UNCOMMON STQOPJD 4A” VERY VICIOUS.


tbe Outpost.

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_ Ok Outpost.

SATURDAY, MAY 12, iqoo.


ONE PEOPLE, ONE DESTINY-ONE BILL.


The Outpost, being at the present moment of calm temper and sound mind, feeling benevolent towards all men—with a lingering prejudice in favour of drastic color-line legislation—feels that the time is opportune to answer one very distinct question. That question has reached this paper in various forms ; sometimes with unnecessary insolence, sometimes with a sneer at the absence of a distinct political “ creed,” in many instances merely as the outcome of friendly curiosity. The writers all want to know what The Outpost thinks about the “ present aspect of the Commonwealth Bill” and how it regards the “ threatened amendment by the British House of Commons.”

Now, at present, The Outpost has no party politics, any more than the people of Australia have, at present, any party politics. Therefore it has not dealt in


paradoxes by defining its attitude to something that is non-existent. But it has certain principles touching matters of Australian patriotism, and it holds these principles as sacred. At present it does not know how sacred it holds them, hut they stand in front of everything else and they will stand there always. For this reason The Outpost answers its questioners —insolent, cynical and friendly—that it believes in the Australian Commonwealth Bill one and indivisible, that it objects now and will go on objecting to any proposed amendments, and that it possesses enough bigotry to feel that any Australian-born man or woman who has any other opinion does not now, and never will, count for much in the scheme of things.

In addition, The Outpost wants to point out that no alteration of the Bill has been sought for by the British Cabinet. The Law Officers at home long ago, abdicated to Barton and Deakin all along the line, and the apparent tenacity over the Appeal Clause is the direct result of wire-pulling by the Banks and sycophantic judiciaries of Australia. The English people at large and the British Cabinet and Commons do not give a lig for the alleged point ” at issue, and if Chamberlain is hesitating that hesitation is natural when the circumstances are considered. He does not know Australia ; he has only a third-hand knowledge of the sentiment regarding the Bill, and he is bewildered by the firm stand of the Banks on the one side and the vacillation of the Australian

Premiers on the other.

* * *

Also, The Outpost believes that the attitude of many Australian dailies over the Appeal question is one of abject degre-dation. And the rumoured Colonial Office referendum of the opinions of these same papers on the Appeal Clause, displays a lack of foresight and an absence of statesmanship that even Chamberlain’s enemies could not have credited him with. What right have they to speak for Australia ? They are commercial undertakings, “ on the make ” everywhere and all the time. The only people who can speak for Australia on (lie Bill, or any point of the Bill, are the people of Australia themselves. And they have spoken already.

To urge that the people did not consider every point fully is merely cheap impudence. The question of Australian Federation is an heritage of tradition as old as responsible government in this continent, In 1849, it was considered a possibility ; in 1850, it was actually proposed in the British Commons ; and from 1863 onwards to the Referendum of 1899, the question has been incessantly before the people of this country. If the general intelligence of Australia was not higher than that evidenced by leading articles on the “appeal clauses,” recently appearing in the dailies aforesaid, those thirty years of discussion would probably have been fruitless. But the Bill itself, emanating, as it did, from an understanding of the National desires and self-governing capacities of the Australian people, dissipates any such view completely.

The question of disloyalty is not involved at all. To say that the right of appeal to the Privy Council from the judgments of Australian courts “ binds the Empire together,” is: idiocy, utter, crass, and incomprehensible. The British Cabinet can hold no such view, the British House of Commons would certainly never endorse it. It is a flabby shibboleth raised by the only people who put their imagined personal and monetary interests before the National desires of Australia. At least, these are the opinions of The Outpost. It meant to express them in any case, at some time ; but the inquiries, fully described previously, have made the opportunity for the expression of them just now. Which is the one solitary and conspicuous virtue some of those inquiries possessed.

How Australia Saved England.

The “Age”'of last Thursday saw lit to adopt a supercilious tone to Premier Lyne, of New South Wales, and crossheaded a report of certain utterances of that extensive person, “ A Colonial ‘Bill Adams.’” The term, applied to the Premier of a colony of a million and a half of people, shows a lack of imagination and complete absence of good sense. Both these defects arise from the incurable parochialism of the Victorian “ liberal ” daily. It is to-day, and always has been, completely out of sympathy with the real Australian point of view of the Empire, as a race problem and as a political problem. It was founded when Victoria was a sort of overflow appanage of Great Britain. It has never possessed sufficient mental dexterity to change the primal syllogism of its parish pump conceptions and construct new ones. It exhibited its fatuous misconception of Australian aspirations by recently proposing that this country should be “represented ” in England by delegates with a voice in some matters, and a vote in none, and on Thursday, as aforesaid, it crossheaded the utterances of Lyne, Premier of New South Wales, in such a way as to give further proof of its inability to arrive at any understanding of Australian character or Australian patriotism. Lyne is alleged to have said that,

“ It would have been a bad outlook for the colonising power oi Great Britain and for the British race, if the colonies had not stood by the Mother Country.”

As a matter of fact the statement is neither absurd nor exaggerated. Australia and Canada have, on this occasion at least, “ saved ” England, and the fact has already received a ready recognition by the statesmen of England.

It may be necessary to explain that the Outpost does not mean this phrase to imply—any more than Lyne meant his phrase to imply—that Australia and Canada have prevented the demolition of Great Britain by the forces of Paul Kruger. Also it may be equally necessary to explain that by the use of the said phrase, the Outpost does not indicate its belief that the Australian con-

tingents have rescued the British forces in South Africa from complete and awful annihilation. Neither does it imagine that its declaration of faith in Premier Lvne’s statements will settle finally the controversy they involve. It suffers from no delusions of that kind. But, in reaffirming the statement of Premier Lyne that “Australia has saved England,” it is merely taking up a position that has already been buttressed by some of the broadest-minded men in Englnad and Europe.

Obviously, the phrase was never intended for literal acceptance. Even the abject humorist of the “ Wise and Otherwise” column—-God wot—of Victoria’a only “liberal daily,” would scarcely come to a conclusion so senile and inconsequential as that. The words are simply a convenient and colloquial label for broader and more extensive affirmations. The war in South Africa might at any time become an International question of a graver and a larger kind than the Liberal Bumble of Victorian politics is capable of comprehending. And the appearance of Australians and Canadians in South Africa has added a new factor to the problem that British statesmen have hailed with evident cheerfulness, and Continental critics have

recognised with unconcealed fear.

* * *

Because the colonial lighting contingents have demonstrated the existence of a new force in world-politics, and smashed for ever the old conception of Great Britain as an Isolated geographical fact in the Northern seas. New calculations will deal not only with Great Britain, but with the Empire Seven months ago, that was a meaningless phrase, too ; to-day it is consecrared for all time in the hearts of our people by the lives of our friends and countrymen that have been given in its service. The number of Australian homes in which “ the Empire” means a world of proud sadness, is growing with pathetic steadiness, but the determination that sent those men out to die is vivid and urgent yet as an actual recognition of a new “ dimension” in the politics of the world.

* * *

And the “Age” in attempting to ridicule Premier Lyne exhibits its incapacity to comprehend this new position, just as it has recently exhibited equal incapacity to understand other new developments. It failed grievously to calculate the force and enthusiasm of Victoria for the Commonwealth Bill, and when at last it danced to the new tune it did it with ludicrous awkwardness. Its efforts to prevent the election of Gillies for Toorak were as absurd as they were unsuccessful. A few weeks ago it exhausted its expletives in the effort to dragoon Mayor M'Eacharn into calling a public meeting for the proclaiming of what it called the “ Speak Out Policy.” But this last lugubrious effort to lampoon Lyne as a tap-room braggart for making a statement regarding a conunon-pla :e fact, transcendsiall theiotheriblunders and knocks away the last prop of a reputation for prescience that has done more harm to progressive politics in this country than this generation can recognise. The aequiscene of the legendarv “ 100,000 daily ” had developed the imaginary “ power ” of the “only Victorian Liberal newspaper ” into a superstition ; the vast strides of recent events have removed that acquiscence and the superstition has faded to a myth.

A Military Muddle.

Editor Outpost,—Allow me a word in justice to Major Watson. He had nothing to do with the commissariat work of the recently departed Imperial Bushmen. He was not trying to do two jobs at the one time, because he had four months leave of absence from the Public Service. He belongs to the Army Service Corps, which simply makes all the engagements for supply and transport, and leaves the distribution to the officer in charge, or his subordinates. If the food supplies were short, that had nothing to do with Major Watson, because he had not the ordering of them. He simply had to supply the food that was ordered. That he did.—Yours,—Strap.

The Divorce Act.

In a suit heard for divorce last Friday the wife produced evidence to show that her eyes had been repeatedly blackened, her cheeks cut, and her body kicked. The Chief Justice, in refusing the application, said “ it was perfectly plain the wife had been used in a cowardly and wicked way by her husband, but it did not amount to cruelty under the Act.”

He was the mildest married man That ever stoushed a 1 trap,’

In short his missus reckoned Dan A fairly decent chap.

He only kicked her now and then,

A very trifling fact ;

Hut how the fellow altered when He studied up the Act.

He soon began to grow unkind And fall away from grace,

He made it very hard to find The features of her face.

And though he bashed her with a brick ’Twas done with cunning tact,

He knew exactly how to kick And not offend the Act.

And when he made his loving wife Of reason quite bereft,

He daily swore he’d take her life,

Though little he had left.

He broke her jaw with brutal blows,

But kept the law intact,

He knew just how to pulp her nose And not offend the Act.

Dan came at last within the court Before a learned judge,

A man of sermons rarely short And often full of fudge,

Who gathered up his robes of fur And said in speech exact:

“Although you are a brutal cur,

You’ve kept within the Act.’’

The Scout.

Ed. Outpost.—How about the A.N.A. being used as a political machine ? At the Geelong conference Watt, M.L.A., was touting all night for Carty Salmon, M.L.A., to secure his re-election to the Board. And he (Watt) still sits at the Committee table of the Metropolitan Committee beneath the chairmanship of a G.P.O. official. Fact is that the Association is degenerating into a political machine of the worst kind. And is more dangerous because the nepotism that dominates it is not recognised.—N'ytivk.

porary has just published a story called Simeon Cadden’s Obituary Poem with a new quality. It is

dull—but not dirty.

‘ * * *

The spineless phraseology in the manifesto sent by our Premiers to Chamberlain was due to (he attitude of the Premiers of Queensland and Tasmania. Both gentlemen threatened to withdraw from the conference if it endorsed the wishes of Barton and Co.

♦ ♦ ♦

In a large Iron Rolling Mill in Melbourne the proprietor has known his men so long that he boxes and pulls their ears in fatherly fashion. It is not uncommon to see the old man stand up to one of his hands and light fairly to a finish. The old fellow, a regular snag, mostly wins ; but, win or lose, he never sacks a man for a trifle like that.

* * *

E. E. Roberts, ex-president of the A.N.A., is an officer of the Victorian Government Statist’s Department who cherishes ambitions’for public life. When he was president of the Association he avoided any effort at self-advertisement and devoted himself to administrative work. He belongs to the emphatic order of public speakers with a greater aptitude for debate than mere talking.

* * *

Before a jest and after—

At jokes none else could see—

He shrieked such endless laughter,

Men called him L'liomiuequi rit.

Though rather long he tarried To choose a better half,

We’ll say when he is married :

The man who used to laugh.

—The Scout.

The few letters of Premier M'Lcan, which rise to the level of diplomacy, are dictated by AttorneyGeneral Irvine. Irvine possesses the coolest and most capable head in the Cabinet, and is a nephew of the Irish patriot, John Mitchell. He has decided to stand for the House ot Representatives in his

own constituency of Lowan.

* * *

Mayor McEacharn has set a tune in his civic capacity that his successor will find it difficult and costly to keep going. His present year of office will run him into close upon fen thousand in one way and another, at a moderate estimate. If Sammy Gillot follows him he will cither have to go one better or cut out a new line for himself. And talking of M’Eacharn reminds me that a certain city bootmaker is “making up” as a sort of sartorial and tonsorial double of the maritime knight. Which gives away the weak points in the

dressing of the original very badly.—Strap.

* * *

“ Nytive” to the Outpost : The A.N.A. Board have lost a great opportunity through timidity. They should have answered Deakin’s call by demonstrating in favour of the “ whole Bill ” in a big public meeting. Instead they funked. The job was too big for them. They have deserted Deakin. Jt is poltroonery. Deakin wanted his hands strengthening. A great public meeting would have done that. But the “ Board ” funked the job. Fact is they want class, not Patricianism, but the class indicated by the phrase that “ blood tells in horses, dogs and men—and Boards too,”

Mr. G. H. Reid gave an address to the students of Sydney University, in which he told them that the secret of public success was a mixture of modesty, humility, and shyness.—News Item.

Young men with souls that yearn For something more than dress.

List unto me and learn The secret of success.

’Tis not as some may think In sheer audacity,

But (here he gave a wink)

In meek humility.

Observe my manners mild,

In me there’s nothing sly,

I’m simple as a child,

And nearly twice as shy.

What save my modesty

Could say both Yes and No

When difficult to see Which way a vote will go.

Then count your pride as dross,

And never seek the lead,

But bear the modest cross Of gentle shepherd Reid.

The Scout.

* * *

Charles Chatfield, the man who figured for years in Melbourne as a trainer of performing dogs, and who was mistakingly made fhe victim of a suburban house explosion some time back, is now lecturing on Spiritualism. He has succeeded in training a number of spooks so well that they will even stand up long enough to be caught by a camera.

“ Crites” wiites : Theodore Kink is not an Irishman, it is to be presumed. Yet there are Irish traits in his character. He is pugnacious, as his bulging ears evidence. And he dearly loves to hit a head whenever he sees one. The unfortunate Alexander Stewart, Inspector-General of Victorian State Schools, could bear testimony lo this. Fink treated him unmercifully during his examination before the Education Commission lately.

Mr. Kink, who is Chairman of this Commission, is fond ot saying that a man must work hard to be successful, and must take life seriously. You would hardly expect this kind of talk from one whose reputation is chiefly that of a humorous after-dinner speaker. But so it is ; and the business-like, strenuous, and hustling way in which Fink is making his Commission work, bears out the fact that his saying, quoted above, is authentic.

I'he language of the Technical Education Commission, the second progress report of which i„ just issued, is, no doubt, the language of its chairman, Mr. Kink. Here and there many traces of his evident Irish affinities are to be found. Take this opinion for instance, “ The dhect object of manual training is the acquirement by the child of a general manual dexterity. The indirect object, and the one to be principally aimed at is the mental and moral discipline of the child.” The italics are ours.

I'he Report of the Commission is a good one in a way ; at any rate it is lull of definite blessings and cursings, like the ancient Law of its Chairman's forefathers. It is not vague as to its recommendations. Yet in reading it you get the idea that many answers of the witnesses are cut according to the pattern of the questions asked by the Commissioners.

To take an example, many of poor Mr. Stewart’s dialogues with the commission remind one forcefully of Felonious and the whale, with Mr. Kink as Hamlet, or sometimes I)r. MacKarland.

Dr. MacKarland, the master of Ormond, has not got the sweetest of voices, and he has a vigorous Berserker manner of hurling his questions and announcements at you, as if it were all your fault. One can imagine a witness, therefore, saying to himself. ” this is a man in authority, and behold he is a vehement man, whose face reddens when he speaks to you. I shall answer him in the way he would have me answer.” And more especially can you imagine this to come from those witnesses, and such witnesses there are, who are confident of nothing but their own incapacity. The reading of the evidence in this education report awakens thoughts like these.

When Crick, P.M.G. for New South Wales, was in Melbourne, it surprised him to learn the importance of the Parker agitation. Two men in the Sydney P.O. who could not be spared were never given a chance to resign, but were promptly sacked for going into camp.

Is it McLean’s Scotch accent or Watt ? The Premier has now twice accused the PostmasterGeneral of misunderstanding his instructions. Kirst, over the Old Age Pensions, when speaking at Horsham ; and now over the leave of absence to public servants in the contingents. The P.M.G. should either learn Gaelic or employ an interpreter.

It is not yet stated whether the P.M.G. has modified his opinions on temale suffrage. Speaking a year ago he said :—“ Woman is about to demand a place in our social and political system, suited, not to her former weakness, but her present power.” The utterance was certainly prophetic, but Mrs. Jardine is guilty of a too-practical application.

Ever since the threat of the hysterical Mrs. Jardine to horsewhip the whole Cabinet, Ministers have been seen dodging up back lanes to their offices. Only yesterday the clerks in the Law Courts were startled at seeing the prim, precise Attorney climbing over a fence in little Bourke slreet, and rushing breathlessly upstairs to his room. Kortunately, a needle and cotton were procured, and the Minister was able to leave for home after dark. The lady, however, is determined to deal with him.

The people of Victoria have unanimously carried a vote of no confidence in the present Ministry—-ail that remains is its endorsement by the Assembly. What cheaper or more effective excuse could the waverers urge to justify their ratting than the military bungling ? Several members, doubtful about their seats ever since the overthrow of Turner, are already beginning to hum, a la Hoply Porter—

“ Kpr months I’ve longed for some Excuse for this revulsion,

Now that excuse has come,

I change upon compulsion.”

Melbourne’s alleged “ labour paper,” the Tocsin, once started republishing a scries of so-called “exposures” ol patent medicines, but stopped them suddenly when a “ kidney cin e” compound and a Sydney specialist advertised in its pages. Whereat the honorary editor—all the contributors to this “ labour paper” arc honorary—resigned. Recently it has been announced that this big drum of the Salvation Army of Socialism is really the tool of designing capitalists. Its vicious opposition to the candidature of Steven Barker, J.P., for the North Melbourne electorate, is cited as a case in point. The rumour is probably unfounded, but a paper that exists on “ voluntary contributions” is always open to inferences of that sort.

Ed. Outpost,—Glad to see that you did not join in the general shriek against W. A. Watt over the Parker affair. Watt objects to the colonies assisting Britain in her row on the principle that Australia should have remained a peaceful and not a martial country. But that had nothing to do with his refusal ol leave to Parker. The previous contingents were volunteers, the Bushmen are mercenaries, and Parker went for his own advantage. Kipling's appeal for the English Tommies is not a parallel case at all. They were reserve men who had to chuck their jobs and go to the front, and if Parker had been in that position he would have had leave at once. Also, the public should stand behind a Minister who has the pluck to do what he thinks the right thing.

THE A.N.A.

My God’s the rare Divinity of vivid debate ;

I e’en gesticulate And pose in prayer.

Toujours articulate,

An elecutionaire.

I even dare

On boundless themes to expatiate ;

An advertising advocate Of cocksure air.

Toujours precipitate A resolutionaire.

Aristippus.

In the general assembly of the Presbyterian Church the Rev. Professor Macdonald, speaking against a motion which suggested the future conduct of heresy trials in camera, is reported to have said that “attacks on doctrine could be made which were quite as grave as any made in the course of discussion." He was here interrupted by an inter-jector querying, “By a member of this court?" and replied, “ If any member of the court chose to fit the cap on he might.” Speculation has been rife as to whom the Rev. Professor had in his mind when he laid down his proposition, and the name of a Professional brother has not escaped conjecture.

* * *

In certain quarters it had become so fashionable to describe Yes-No Reid’s financial policy as pure bluff and trickery, that many accepted the charge on trust. Impartial people, however, not content with the lampoons of John Norton or David Syme, hailed with welcome the appointment of a board of inquiry. But unfortunately what might have been an investigation entitled to some respect has been turned into a mere party political travesty. In the first place, Lyne’s nominee fixed the basis of inquiry behind the back of Reid’s representive, and secondly, Big William John appointed a third arbitrator without consulting Reid.

It may have been a    pure accident, or

it may have come from a desire to make the tribunal thoroughly impartial; nevertheless, Lyne appointed an old and avowed enemy of Reid as the umpire of the inquiry. Finally, although Lyne had the right to submit a batch of questions to Reid, Reid was denied the right to submit questions to Lyne. Thus we are back to the same position, and the two sections of the public will continue to believe, according to the nature of its liver and the colour of its newspaper, either that Reid was a finantial fraud or simply a financial expert.

* * *

This yeai the athletes of the world will gather together in Paris. All nations where the pursuit of amateur athletics is followed will be represented, except South Africa. After Elands Lagaate a name well known in athletic circles figured prominently in the list of Boer casualties. Phillip Blignant has twice visited England in pursuit of sprint championships, and although unsuccessful in obtaining the highest honors he left no doubt as to his quality. Now, wounded and a prisoner, he is probably resting at St. Helena. His brother Piet, almost as fast as himself, was killed in the same fight under exceptional circumstances. He attempted to shoot a British officer who was going about among the wounded when a soldier perceived what he was doing and shot him. The father of these young men was also among the killed. Harry Morkel, the hurdler, is out with a Boer commando, and M. Griebnow is using his bicycle for scouting purposes on the same side. Among the British ranks are men like Sturgess the walker, who under ordinary circumstances would have taken the trip to Paris in July, so that it will be seen that the South African question has a distinct bearing on the representative character of the Parisian Olympic games.

“Jackaroo” writes One Melbourne daily that was all for the “ whole Bill” when the Commonwealth measure was before the public, is now hedging miserably over the appeal clause. It is giving prominence to all sorts of hole-and-corner meetings that want the appeal to the Privy Council re-inserted, and frequently asserts that public opinion is equally divided on the question, which latter pretence' is all downright nonsense. The banks want the appeal retained, so that they can have at hand a convenient means of “ holding up” an impecunious adversary ; but the people want the Bill they voted on. And that vote was the biggest and most intelligent vote ever cast in this country on any political measure. It is a grave misfortune for Australia at present that two of her Premiers were virulent anti-Federationists when the measure was before the people. Of course, they assert that as the people have decided the matter, they are going to loyally abide by that decision. I dissent. If they were sincere previously, office cannot have altered their opinions, and they would do anything possible to defeat or deface the measure.


AI PflPli X* Pil 8i|bard Tabic Manufacturers

HLUIlim    UU.)30lS Russel I St., Melbourne.

And at Barrack-St., Perth, W.A.

WILLIAM ALEXANDER WATT.


AT THE SLIP-RAILS.


Answers to Correspondents.


P.M.G. Watt (sings)—

Oh ! say have you seen the pretty Jardinc,

The bird with the whalebone bill ?

Though I think her absurd, she’s a cute little bird,

A regular Whip Poor Will.

Jack Murray, M L.A., says too much fuss has been made over Mr. Potts and his financial relations with the Government. He also observes that even if Potts is as good as alleged in the department of bacteriological science he affects, that does not represent all the industry wants. Butter making requires practical work and common sense rather than i science. While the experts are worrying about the bacteria the insects themselves are hard at work destroying the butter that is being made in Melbourne factories more or less foul. Better leave the science of it alone and clean tip some of the filthy gutters near these city dairies.

A member of the present Legislative Assembly is particularly proud of some exquisitely carved furniture which adorns his house. The furniture is worth a lot of money, and the manner in which its present possessor acquired it is interesting. A minister of the denomination in which the legislator is a prominent layman borrowed some money from him. Amongst other accomplishments, this minister was a skilful wood-carver, and amused his leisure hours in furnishing his house artistically. But he had occasion, before his debt was repaid, to seek a new church, and eventually found one in another colony. Meanwhile, his wife remained to look after the household goods and chattels. When her husband got settled in his new charge, she made preparations for joining him. But the wide-awake M.L.A. thought it would be a pity to export such costly home-made products, so he sent round a carrier’s van, and succeeded in obtaining delivery of the furniture from the clergyman's wife.

Apart from the general aspects of the Kilpatrick case, the Government should lose no time in dealing with tlic officials responsible for the “ gross irregularity” of the procedure under which Mr. Kilpatrick was sent to Yarra Bend. Dr. Shields, Government medical officer ; Mr. Panton, P.M.; Dr. Watkin, superintendent of Yarra Bend Asylum ; the Master-in-Lunacy ; and Dr. McCreery, the inspector of asylums, all appear to have been guilty ot a lax perlormance of their duties. The whole affair should be investigated, and there should be no hesitation in removing from responsible positions men who may be proved to be no longer fit to hold them.

The distribution of the Railway Department’s reward for the conviction of Lovering and Johnston in the Fairfield derailment case, is a nasty set down for the detective police. Whitney, Wilson and Mercer, the detectives concerned, exerted themselves strenuously in order to grab the whole of the £100 for themselves, and in their efforts damningly discounted the claims of outsiders, including some members of the uniformed police. But the Board appointed to distribute the reward, evidently placed little value upon the statements of the detectives, since they gave them the smallest portions, and awarded the outsiders the largest shares. This sort of thing, following upon the jury’s rider the other day to the effect that the detectives are too greedy for rewards, bears a very ugly aspect, and it is time the authorities took some decisive action to avoid a malodorous scandal.

D. McClelland, who is a Master at the Brighton Grammar School, played football for Melbourne on Saturday, and a pupil of his—Clough—was wearing the red, white and black. In a tussle in front of the press-box the master beat the boy badly and the crowd wondered whether it was in the hope of favors to come that Clough allowed himself to be beaten. Such is the ics-pect and reverence in which the Australian youth is known to hold his betters (?), or whether on the other hand, McClelland brought all his skill into play to teach the boy a moral lesson as well as a football one. The positions were reversed where Standford, a master at Caulfield Grammar School, captained St. Kilda, and his pupil, Langley, played for Melbourne.

(For The Outpost.)

They stand at the slip-rails. To-morrow the shearing

Is going to start at the Toorabine shed ;

By sunrise his course through the bush he’ll be steering,

And the words are unspoken that have to be said,

Jack has something to say fora brief Yea or Nay— For that one little word that shall bind them or sever—

Will she shatter his day-dreams or fondly give way,

And surrender herself to his keeping for ever ?

He—the drover, the shearer of Gippsland the ringer,

A knight of the pig-skin, a man among men—

Whom Mary could twine and entwine round her finger,

He’s hardly as cool now or gallant as when

With a break from the line there’s a stampede, the sign

That the camp's in disorder and mutiny’s rife ;

Where the stock-whips resound off the hides of the kine,

Jack ever is found in the lead of the strife.

At grafting or fighting or handling a horse

He would yield up his place as a leader to none ;

He’d battle the wildest of country across.

And take as his compass the stars or the sun.

His heart was as true and as constant, she knew,

As the pale moon that sailed through the blue sky above ;

He knew she was waiting to offer him, too,

The hopes of his manhood, the gift of her love.

“ To-morrow I go to the shearing,” he Said, Unskilled in the languarge of lovers to prate,

11 My love for you, dear, in my eyes you have read,

“And I cannot depart till you settle my fate,

I ask for your heart, in the morn I depart.

In joy or in sorrow howe’er you decide ;

In peace and through danger I’ve long sought your heart,

I love you, I claim you my lass as my bride.”

And Mary, the wilful and pert maid of yore,

With cheeks all a-crimson and eyes on the ground,

Gave barely that musical murmur before

His strong arm her waist was encircled around.

But draw down the curtain, there’s one thing that’s certain,

Next morning he sang like a lark down the track ;

And Mary has honestly given up flirting,

And the boys have their tin-kettles ready for Jack.

Harry McIntyre, Leongafha.

Collingwood Football Club have got hold of a rattling junior in young Duncan, the Heidelburg captain. Although it was only his first match, on Saturday, in the League, he played with great judgment, and was as cool as any veteran.

Gullan, of Ballarat, was one of the South Mei-bournites who was injured in the match against Essendon on Saturday last. He had been limping during the week with a damaged knee, and though he felt well enough to start the injured member gave way during the game.

Freame, who won such high praise as an umpire in the Football Association, made his first appearance under the Auspices of the League on Saturday at St. Kilda, and though he did remarkably well he made one mistake which will be the subject of an appeal, and which has so far robbed St. Kilda of their first victory for three years.

Every cyclist must appreciate progress, and Solomon Solution represents the highest progress achieved in blending the best ingredients for the production of an embrocation for healing and curing wounds, bruises, aches, pains, etc. The Acme Cycle Co., 249-51 Elizabetb-street, Melbourne, proves its progressiveness by always keeping on hand a stock of Solomon Solution. The world’s greatest embrocation. No athlete should be without it for training and curative purposes. *

V.G., Bendigo : Unsuitable. This is not a titbits paper. .    .    . Occasional : Again ; there is

no I roe list. In your case it is purely a commercial contract. You don’t write for nothing, we don’t sell for nothing. The reply may be brutal, but nothing else seems to penetrate. .    . . Y.L.K :

That paper is still indebted to him for sketches. It preys on the enthusiasm or povertv of its contributors. .    .    . Old Hand : Paul Moll has

written the best life, up-to-date, of Higinbotham, but a publisher has not been found. There would be money in it too. .    .    . J.F A., Carlton : The

Outpost refuses to be stuck into any political pigeonhole. Its principles are perfectly clear, and it judges politics by them. But it agrees with Emerson in his refusal to be considered a duck with short legs or a stork with long ones. Also, you will find that is not afraid to speak out when speaking out is necessary. .    .    . Abel : Why

not let Champion alone. You use a fictitious signature too. Come out into the open. . .    .

A.N.A. : “ the Bill, the whole Bill, and nothing but the Bill. Our sentiments too. And Barton and Deakin deserve unmeasured praise for their tenacity. . .    . Rider : Why not send your

friend along with facts. This paper will prosecute if there is any case. .    . . Shag : Unsuitable.

. .    . Proxy, B. : Indecent. And not funny.

.    .    . Admirer: The tree Lance failed from want

of money, not brains. . . . Cadmus : That paper sweats its comps, sweats its contributors and blackmails as well. . . . N.B., Sydney : We have a permanent staff. Sorry, but no room at present. .    .    . J.B., Hamilton : Too

libellous. Besides, it’s purely a personal matter. Will your life bear examination of that sort. If it will you're a vegetable. . . No. 2. : No good. . . . F, : Crowded out. . . . Nemo : Get away and run a paper of your own.

. . . Chestnut: Exactly. . . . Curious: The Outpost foreman was on the Champion. . . . t hree to One : Kellow tallcsof joining the amateurs.

•    . . B. V. J. D. B. : Why not see Neunhoffer

himself. Massey-Harris people stick to their guarantees, .    .    . PI agger : His father was a

parson. .    .    . High Light : “ Let me rest upon

thy breast.” See you boiled first. .    .    . Ex

pectant : 11 that evening paper starts with £50,000 it will end with nothing. . . . Wallic : Story good, but too long. .    .    . Alpha :

Retuined. .    .    B.I1.W,, Carlton : No arrange

ment as to short stories or verse. Glad to consider any not occupying more than one page. Address copy to office of paper, not publishers. .

.    . Nihil : Verse is excellent, but not suitable.

Want something more vigorous. . . . A.C.W. : Story unsuitable. . . . F.G.F. : Story to hand. Considering it. .    .    B.L., South Yarra : Wrong

again. “Garrick ’’did not do the Donald Macdonald article. It was Lionel Lindsay. .    . Bert

Mudge, Albury : Returning drawings. Like them but unsuitable. Pleased to hear from you again.

. .    . W.L.E. : Unsuitable ; returning. Glad to

hear from you again though. .    . W. G. Me :

Struck it at last. The ILF. par would need confirmation before being published. .    .    . H.

M'lntyre : “ The First Parting” not up. The “ Lines to the Silent Poetess” are unwise. . .    .

Friendly: The Ant wanted “grey matter.” Ants always do. Think little of his work. He is a literary (bush) carpenter. And " the joints show.”

.    .    . W. H. D. : Verse good. But won’t illustrate easily. Considering. .    .    . Sphinx : Good

idea. Excellent in construction. Take copy too seriously. Leave something to readers imagination. It s a poor mind that never imagines. Re-write.

. . . L.B., Prahran : Story received. Considering. Try another. Dialogue wants editing. Too stilted. Ideas fresh though. .    .    . W. L. B. :

Considering. .    . . Nihil : Unsuitable. Verse-

must be either vigorous or humourous.

PROTECTION FOR CYCLISTS.

SPECIAL NOTICE.

The OUTPOST will prosecute any cases of 1 alleged “Road Hogging” by drivers of vehicles when such action is approved by its solicitors, Corr & Rylab, of Collins Street, Melbourne. The co-operation of Tourists and Road Riders is i nvited.

_ ALCOCK&COS'

LxzrssssaLs- imperial

"    ^ LOW CUSHION)

MELBOURNE.

)Id tables fitted with our Imperial Low Cushions. Bicycle Tyre Formers Made to Order.

Bicycle Polo.—-Polo Balls, Cane Heads and Clubs made to any length and pattern.

Australia at large only knows Marshall Lyle as the man who defended Deeming. This is perhaps more unfortunate for Australia than it is for Marshall Lyle. For while a percentage of reputable citizens confuses him with Marshall-Hall and look down on him for having written improper poetry, and while the respectable majority holds that lie is a sympathiser, if not an. abettor, of dangerous criminals, the wily member of the Hats Push lurks round the corner in order to “wooden” him with half a brick for his letters to the Age on “Dangers of the Push.” This is the reward for being a Philosopher and a Criminologist.

A member of a well-known family of Irish Presbyterians, another member of which occupies a popular chair at the Melbourne University, Marshall Lyle received the education and training of a lawyer. Before he left his native laud for Melbourne he gravitated naturally into a anise celehre and has ever since been an authority on the Phoenix Park murder, the events that led to the outrage, and the details of the remarkable and sensational trial of the perpetrators. That he is in possession of this information is accounted for by the fact that a distinguished relative took a leading part in the prosecution, and the briefs and precis of evidence were available for the perusal of the young lawyer.

When Marshall Lyle came to Melbourne he came as the first of that little baud of advanced thinkers who are now trying to improve the system of prison government here. A seh lar rather than a student, with him merely to read a book is to become master of its contents.

It is very natural to expect that such a man would become fascinated with the objective side of his profession, and that is what really happened. The criminal became more interesting than the law that convicts him, and Marshall Lyle became occupied with prisons and the men who till them. When he began to study this subject he naturally encountered the works of Lumbroso and the other members of the Italian school, and from that day Marshall Lyle became a criminologist and a man with a mission.

That mission is to protect the physical criminal from his disease, to insist that the law shall recognise certain forms of crime as disease, and classify wrongdoers as though they were patients in a hospital.

In this capacity he made his bow to Melbourne as defender of Coulson, the Narbethong murderer. The evidence he brought forward to prove that Coulson was a madman, and as such should not Ire hanged but confined in an asylum, fell to the ground before the testimony 01 the medical experts appointed to examine the prisoner, and Coulson died on the scaffold. This experience did not in anv way daunt him when the time came to defend Deeming. lie even gathered courage and consolation from it ; courage for himself and consolation for Deeming. For Deeming, a very broad and solid man, even before his trial felt sure of his ultimate end, and expressed his uneasiness to his solicitor lest, being so broad, he should not fall easily

through the trap. “ Have no fear,” said the man of experience, “ the last man I defended was as big as you and he went through all right.” It requires some courage to recognise and accept the inevitable.

The true history of the Deeming case can not be written for this generation. In the face of the public execration and horror of Deeming, it would have been difficult to obtain his reprieve on the grounds of insanity, even if his defender had been able to obtain favourable evidence. But there was a mass of evidence, obtained both before and after Deeming’s death, that proved conclusively that the man was extremely triad. Owing to the way in which the case was hurried on the most valuable evidence, such as that of his Indian epilepsy, ' was not forthcoming at the trial ; but Marshall

Lyle’s exertions in amassing it were unceasing and heroic. In the end it became necessary for him to throw up his case, a proceeding which created a mild sensation at the time, though there was obviously no other course open to him.

Deeming’s legacy to his solicitor was the story of his own life, written by himself while in the Melbourne Gaol. While the work was in the course of being written, the bequest became widely known, and a leading firm of London publishers cabled to the presumable legatee, asking him to put a price upon the book. A good round sum was demanded, and somewhat to Mr.

Lyle's' surprise the bargain was immediately concluded by cable, subject to the provision that no word of Deeming’s book should be published elsewhere. It may be mentioned that the money to be received from the sale of this book was the only recompense the defending solicitor could expect for his continuous and protracted labour, and he was robbed of that by the illegal action of a gaol official.

It was in this person’s power to peruse the matter which Deeming had written, and finding that some sheets contained the greasy sort of fun supposed to be peculiarly acceptable in certain exalted quarters, he carried those sheets to the said quarters, whence they never returned. An unfortunate accident prevented Deeming from living long enough to duplicate the missing sheets, meanwhile the anxious publishers kept cabling for manuscript. As Mr. Lyle was unable to supply the complete life the contract fell through, and Deeming’s autobiography is still incomplete and still unpublished.

Everybody has heard of the “ Curse of Deeming,” by reason of which all who encountered that monster during his life became subject to a mysterious visitation of misfortune after his death. It was a far-reaching and implacable curse. The very prisoner who quick-limed the defunct Deeming was subject to it, and is now suffering a very severe sentence in Pentridge. Of course it fell on Marshall Lyle. He was noticeable at the Deeming trial a large sixteen-stone man with a great gold-red beard that reminded one of Daniel Dravot, in Kipling s story, of “ the man who would be king.” After the trial illness fell upon him, and remained with him until a painful and dangerous operation became necessary. He returned to the world from that operation a cleanshaven eleven-stone man, who was called an imposter in a wine saloon for claiming lo be Marshall Lyle. The other members of the company would not hear of that. They knew Marshall Lyle all right—he was a fine-looking man with a big red beard. The scene ended in a constable being called in to take the imposter in charge, but fortunately he was familiar with the altered seeming of our hero and much inconvenience was thereby saved. It was long before the effects of that operation were finally thrown off, and though the Marshall Lyle we now know is portly and commanding, he is still but modestly bearded.

One of his most amiable characteristics is his Consulate ; he is Consul for Columbia. It only seems natural on hearing this for the first time (hat the hearer should ask, 11 What 1 British Columbia ?” but it is a question that saddens Marshall Lyle. He points to it as a sample of insular prejudice and ignorance aiike to suppose there is no other Columbia than British Columbia. There is another Columbia in South America—a brighter and better Columbia, where the joyous natives revolush once a year, and where presidents die suddenly of political eminence. It is the home of the brave and the free, and Marshall Lyle looks after its interests in Melbourne. Once, lie will tell you, a man called at his office and intro, duced himself as Caicedo, King of the Air, and a citizen of no mean republic. He came from Columbia and had need of the services of Columbia's Consul. All he required was the signature of a document, a sort of certificate of a world-wide wire-walking tour that he was extracting from Columbian Consuls wherever he went. The required signature was cheerfully given. The Consular office has sat lightly upon its holder, demanding only an occasional attendance at Government House and a frequent explanation of the geographical position of Columbia.

NEXT WEEK.

W. A. WATT, M.L.A.,

AND

CHARLES ARNOLD. At Home and Abroad.


Marshall Lyle is a Bohemian. Melbourne has an unhealthy reputation for shoddy Bohetnianism of sorts, but his is the unaffected innocent Bohemianisin of the naan who has nobody but himself to please as to how or where he lives. See him at Fasoli’s (how many readers of this paper know where Fasoli’s is ?) sipping his soup approvingly and chatting to the strolling Italian musician who sits next to him ; rejecting the salad because it has too much garlic and holding the wine up critically to the light. For he is also an expert in Australian wine. Or he may be found testing a new drink in the Chinese Café, adding many-queer sauces with careful hand and explaining how the Chinese have led the way in cookery for many centuries. The fruit sellers at the Victoria Market know him as a frequent early visitor, buying boxes of choice raspberries after long sunrise walks, and many a midnight cabman has whiled away half-an-hour chatting to Marshall Lyle. It is not to be wondered at that such a man is widely known, and numbers among his friends representatives of all classes of the community.

The effect of Marshall Lyle’s serious work among us has already been hinted at. He is still the recognised authority in Melbourne on crimi-nalogical matters, possessing the best library on subject in the city, including a manuscript correspondence with Lombroso.

The effect of his protests and his lectures is slowly making itself felt, and allhough the Criminological Society is no longer active, there are now amongst us many men with views as advanced as his own, some of whom even occupy seals in the Legislature. It is extremely doubtful whether Marshall Lyle will ever live to see (he prison reforms that be desires for, for he has always maintained that the basis of true prison reform must be drawn from Herbert Spencer’s essay on Prison Ethics. But some considerable measure will surely be granted in the next decade, including the very desirable scientific classification of criminals, and the establishment of a reformatory prison after the manner of the American modes at Elmyra.

Another public service rendered byMarshall Lyle was the letter to the Hge, already alluded lo, in which he pointed out that the moribund pushes were entering upon a new lease of lile. Owing to the laxity of the honorary magistrates, push offences were meeting with very light punishments, but the formidable list of offences gathered together in this famous letter, opened the ey-es of all Melbourne. In a few weeks the number of push offences decreased to its normal average, owing, of course, to increased police vigilance and more adequate punishments inflicted by the honorary magistrates. Then the statement was published that there never had been an increase in “push” activity, but Marshall Lyle’s letter remains in print, an answer to all such contentions, and an abiding monument to a watchfulness over the public safety, which is ail too loose among private citizens.

A man of many strange experiences, he is also a wonderful racontour, so that none of his strange clients suffers in story from the lips of this advocate. It is when the bottle of red wine is uncorked and the cigarettes are lit, that he is at his best; story follows story in modest self-effacement, and to all the stories the charming humorous smile of the teller gives an added zest.

There may be many more strange experiences before him yet ; there must be, for, if not all things to all men, to him at least, the study of mankind is ali.

JOHN LONGSTAFF,

PAINTER.

1 here is a portrait-sketch of Velasquez by himself, one ol the few crayon studies he made, which, il its romantic hair were modernised, would become an estimable likeness of John Longstaff ; so it one believes in atavism to any inconsiderable extent, here is direct proof in temperament and feature, for not only have characteristics been transmitted, but something of individuality as well.

Curiously enough, Longstaff picked this sketch up in a Paris print-shop, interested in its relative likeness, and only found out later that it was Velasquez.

To place Longstaff among Australian artists, is the simplicity of a truism—he is easily first. Next to him stands Rupert Bunny (I except Bertram Mackennal from my present argument, for sculpture and painting are the opposite poles of expression), and here—allow me to transgress my space —criticism, if of any value is the personal outlook, backed by the big traditions, and die only critics have estimated the true artist as (he man who combines the most sympathetic humanity with the best art. It is because of this I place Longstaff before Bunny, not on account of plastic supremacy or a superior sense of beauty, but for a virile sensuous humanity, transmitted to his work, which Bunny’s wants.

Longstaff’s stery has been re-told too often and too stupidly for me to repudiate his Homeric birthplaces. Several Victorian towns claim him, but his birthplace is beside the mark of local prejudice and the man, the artist of to-day, is the affair of my intention here.

Briefly, he is a romantic realist in both life and art ; an objective painter born to his calling, and to nothing else ; a charming companion, a man of the world, whose knowledge of it has not impaired his sense of beauty. Socially he is no discursive talker, and his conversation will not always inform you of his profession. He will keynote you an emotion in a phrase or suggest it by a characteristic phrase, and withal, his observation is instructive and not acquired.

Though of his art lie is individually reticent, and ol the demerits in others slow of expression, 1 know no more interesting talker than “ Jack ” Longstaff. To ascend to details. His “ Lady in Black,” bought by-the Sydney Gallery, was particularized by the A <i ioiuiI Obsi'nuT, cleverest ol tated journals, as ol the few fines! portraits of the year, and “The Sirens,-’ which the Melbourne Gallery holds, was on Ihe line of the same year’s Academy. When Leighton saw it he immediately asked to be introduced to its author, and complimented Longstaff on his success. Longstaff speaks of Spain with intimacy and feeling ; he sees the same, full, sombre note in her landscape that there is in the Australian.

His Spanish recollections are enchantingly vivid, of hull-fights, things of colour and movement, of the peasantry, proffering the wine-skin of courtesy, ol muleteers and the fascinations of the posada, ol cansonettas and sarabandas and guitars

Here is the remembrance of an abbreviated impression :—A little town in Andalusia on a still morning in early summer. Having breakfasted one invests the balcony to smoke. All peculiarly quiet, restful, (he houses arc a delight of colourful simplicity, and the edges of the clear hills indent the interminable sky. Now and (lien a sleepy villager crosses (he road ; the lazzeroni bask like dogs in the heat.

Suddenly, round a corner, trundles a harrow, pushed by a police underling, and in it stark, dead-white, the naked body of a man—a cold, strange note of colour for so warm an atmospheric selling. The barrow disappears tranquilly down the street, the dead man’s head bumping rhythmically in the dust, followed by a couple of small boys, not intensely absorbed, but following the tradition of the boy all the world over, tailing the possibility of interest.

How that is of the essence of Spain— an harmonious, sensuous beauty, illuminated by fateful contrasts scarce regarded.

Longslaff’s latest portraits are the laic University Chancellor, a very dignified example of his work, (lie treatment of black in the picture (the most difficult colour on the palate to handle) being admirable ; and Henry Lawson, the poet -one of flic most spontaneous things Longstaff has done of late. It was painted in about five hours in two sittings while the boat that Lawson sailed in was in port.

In his work Longstaff has remained untouched by European influences, his technique has improved, his personality developed, that is all. Most of (he men from here who have studied in Paris return with pseudo-French notions and have applied (he impossibility of French methods to this alien romantic splendid landscape of ours. An artist can at best paint his own country and his own time,' and only (he "nativeborn ” can intimately appreciate the spirit of Australia —the native-born of virile personality and intuitive insight, and at present the most capable artist on (he horizon of that possibility is John Longstaff.    L.L.

The powers of the Public Service Board are out of all proportion lo its capacity. As a judicial tribunal it frequently has to deal with grave charges against public servants, and its findings are often marked by a peculiar obliquity of vision. Queer legends are in the air concerning a case recently heard by the P.S.B. The charge was shortage of cash, and the accused admitted the shortage ; nevertheless this highly judical body certified, after hearing the evidence, that the charge was not proven. This might be considered an excusable evasion of responsibility, were it not that a civil servant was recently dismissed from the service for an almost identical offence.

My dear Muriel,—I have to bemoan a very uneventful week in the social world, Beyond a few small tennis and dinner parties, there has been vyry little going on, and I constantly meet country friends, who have come to town thirsting for amusement, and who have to content themselves by going out with friends to the Caulfield links, which seems to be a great meeting place, both for players and non-players, attending a few girl's afternoon teas and cycling parties, or making up theatre parties to see “ What Happened to Jones,” which most of them have seen three or four times, in default of something better.

On Tuesday, May 1st, the marriage of Miss Kitty Grindlay, the well-known vocalist, to Mr. J. 1). Wilson, chief officer of the Star of England, took place at ttie residence of the bride's parents, “ Rosyth,” Williamstown. The wedding was to have taken place on Saturday, but as the Star of Eng-lantl<M not arrive in port until Saturday evening it was unavoidably postponed until Tuesday. The bridesmaids were Miss Husband, Miss Bessie Grindlay, and Miss Kerr. Two little girls acted as train-bearers. The bride’s dress was of white satin, corded lengthways with transparent' yoke, and sleeves of crcpe-de-chine, and a transparent court train. She wore an embroidered point lace veil, and was given away by her father, Mr. J. Grindlay. Mr. C. T. Hilder was best man.

The marriage of Miss A. Mackinnon, sister of Mr. S. Mackinnon, of “ Heviugton Place,” Toorak, to Mr. Clcland, manager of the Kairview mine, Kal-goorlie, W.A., is fixed to take place in August.

* * *

The engagement is announced of Miss G. Banter, eldest daughterof Captain Banter, 11 Aldow-rie, K. St. Kilda, to Mr. Hamilton Baird, son of Mr. Samuel Baird, Ala.a road, E. St. Kilda.

Mrs. Lewis Kiddle,11 Moultrassie,” Domain street, South Ynrra, has issued invitations for a dance, to be held on Tuesday, May 22nd.

* * *

The Melbourne Hospital Bazaar is at last over, and those interested should be very pleased with the result. The “ penny” tables were a great attraction, and seemed to gratify the universal love of gambling, on however small a scale. A small crowd was collected round each, and I saw men who would distaiu to carry such articles under ordinary circumstances, cheerfully pocketing sardine tins and pickle bottles, which had fallen to them by a lucky turn of the arrow. Wednesday being the last evening, a large crowd attended.

t he chief feature of the evening was a variety entertainment, consisting of some interesting biographic views and step-dancing, most of which wss undeniably poor, but as it was warmly applauded one could only conclude that the onlookers had allowed their critical judgment to be warped in the cause of charity. Wherever one turned, one encountered small gangs of Chinese, alt wearing that smiling and complacent expression, which the consciousness of having done a great deed would inspire. “ You see ’urn once dance,” queried one excitedly, tiptoeing to catch a glimpse of the Hying footfalls, between the heads of the crowd. Most of the stalls looked somewhat denuded, and the sellers tired, which is small wonder, considering what a long time the bazaar has run.

I am told by a friend who has lately arrived from England that the latest hobby in the “ collecting ” line is to have a collection of silver, teaspoons from different parts of the world, no two alike She showed me a large collection, which she had brought out, with the handles worked into all sorts of designs, some beautifully enamelled, others modelled into emblamatical designs of the different countries which she had visited. One of the prettiest I saw was an enamelled Union Jack, the handle adorned with a tiny twisted halliard, while a bunch of Scotch thistles daintily worked in silver formed the handle of another. Those who go in for a collection of this sort will find an interesting addition to it at Webb’s, where they are exhibiting a novelty in tea-spoons with the handle modelled into a miniature representation of the Lee-Metford magazine rifle, which is now being used by our men at the front.

* * *

One cannot help being amused at the attitude assumed by many women with regard to their male relatives going to the war. Most women would be bitterly disappointed if their mankind did not express eagerness to go, yet would be the first to try and prevent them should the matter begin to assume a serious aspect. A Western District lady, whose brothers are safely married and settled, and who would deeply resent any suggestions as to practical usefulness on her own part, lately commented to me in scathing terms on the disgraceful selfishness of some young wealthy land owners of her acquaintance in not volunteering. 1 endeavoured to show her that they had been much more useful in other ways, but she was convinced. “ Oh, I should not think of opposing it if he really wanted to go ! ” said a young married woman, speaking of her charming and devoted husband with an equanimity which, I own, I should have been far from feeling under the circumstances ; yet 1 know that if the fatal day were to arrive she would assure him amid tears that she had opposed it all along.

As usual, at the beginning of the winter season, two or three large dancing classes for children have been formed, and different ladies who have children of an age to learn, lend their rooms weekly for that purpose. The art of dancing is now carried so far that instructors do not consider the education of their little pupils complete without a good deal of fancy dancing, including high kicking, etc. This necessitates a special costume, and parents are inundated with requests for accordion-pleated skirts, specially selected fans, and high-heeled shoes, of the precise pattern required. This is all very well in homes where expense is no object, but indulgent mothers who have to carefully consider household expenses, sometimes find it rather a tax to keep up with these innovations in order to have their children “ just like the others.” * * *

Captain and Mrs. Russell, who, with their daughters, have recently returned from England, have rented, for three months, the house formerly occupied by Mrs. Nankivell, at the corner of Toorak-road and Kensington-road.

* * *

Visitors at the Cape hotels say it is a curious and incongruous sight to see the Boer ladies coming down to dinner in the evening, gorgeously arrayed and blazing with diamonds, while English officers hurry in and out, and fly off by the nine p.m. train to the front, to wage bloody warfare against their countrymen. It would be interesting to know their feelings towards the masterful nation, which can conquer “all but death.” One would think they cannot all be as Anti-British as they should be, for 1 know of at least one well-known Melbourne man who went out to South Africa and married a Boer lady, who has since thrown in her sympathies entirely with the British.

The amateur nurse element appears to be a great encumbrance, if one can judge by letters from the front. A friend writes that no fewer than 300 uncertificated women in nurses’ dress are to be found in Bloemfontein alone. This must be the class which was characterised as worse than a plague of flies. Melbourne can, at any rate, pride itself on having sent with the Bushmen’s Contingent a few splendid women, with first-class surgical experience.

* * *

The Council and Old Melburnians were fortunate in having a perfect day for their Lawn Party, which was held in the grounds of the Church of England Grammar School on Saturday last. Mr. Arthur Moule, being president of the Old Melburnians, the guests were received on the lawn by Mrs. A. Moule and Mrs. Blanch. Refreshments were provided in a marquee, and the guests amused themselves by strolling about the large and well-kept lawns while a band played selections at intervals duiing the afternoon. A concert was held in the big school room, which was crowded with an appreciative audience. Two string quartets were performed by Messrs. P. Conolly, C. Solomon and Petsch, accompanied by Mrs. Jolley on the piano. Mr. Chas. Rose, Miss S. Lewis and Mr. Barker contributed songs, and a pianoforte solo was given by Miss M. Downe, a pupil of Mrs. Jolley.

Saturday was unseasonably warm, so there was a mixture of summer and winter costumes, everyone being apparently undecided whether to don their new winter garments or summer ones more appropriate to the day. Among the guests were His Excellency and Lady Madden, Col. and Mrs. Bingham, Mrs. Hol-royd, Mrs. and Miss Grimwade and Mrs. Battle, Mr. and Mrs. Cain and Miss Dickson, Mrs. Chas. Ryan, Mr. and Mrs. F. Osborne, Mrs. and Miss Spowers; Mrs. Harry Emmerton (who has just returned from Mornington), Mrs. H. Staughton, Mr. and Mrs. J. A. Levey, Mrs and Miss Payton Jones, Mrs. F. Dobson and Mrs. Daley, Miss Kiddle, Mrs. and Miss Hodges.

Conspicuously smart among the dresses were the charming heliotrope coat and skirt worn by Mrs. Blanch, accompanied by a heliotrope hat. Mrs. Arthur Moule’s elegant black and white costume, which was of black cloth braided in black and white, black and white toque, with pale blue velvet chon in front. Mrs. Bingham wore a most becoming black frock, with n mauve hat. Mrs. Irvine, black and white foulard, pale green on bodice, black hat.

* * *

On Sunday a large afternoon tea was given by Mrs. Clapp I at “ Endion,” Domain-road, South Yarra, as a farewell to her daughter, Miss A. Clapp who is going to England on Tuesday next by the Arcadia. Miss Clapp will act as companion to Miss Ivy Chirnside, daughter of the late Mr. Andrew Chirnside, who is going to England for a trip. I'he decorations of cosmos, roses and chrysanthemums in large brass vases were extremely pretty and effective. Among the guests were:— Commander and Mrs. Collins, Mrs. Gurner, Madame Pfund, Madame and Miss Dejardin, Mr. and Mrs. Winslow Jones, Mrs. Giles (from Adelaide), Mr. and Mrs. Alfred Bright, Miss Ettie Jones, Dr. Chas. Ryan, Mr. H. Brush, and many others.

A dance will be given by Mrs. F. Graham, “ Mooralla,” South Yarra, in the local Hall on Wednesday, 23rd May.

The Banks Rowing Club hold their annual Ball in the PrahranTovvn Hall on Friday, 1st June. A very influential ladies committee has been formed, and tickets are being readily applied for. Mr. Keble H. Johnston, of 325 Collins-st., is the hon. sec., who intends making the dance as great a success as he did last year.

* * *

The annual Melburnian Dance, under the auspices of the Melburnian Hare and Hounds Club, will be held at the Prahran Town Hall on Thursday, June 4th, at 8 o.m.

Dorothea.

GENTLEMEN

WHEN YOU WANT


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GO TO -    - J. FRED HEWARD, 60 Elizabeth Street.


JIMMY AH YIN’S TREBLE HEADER.

(For The Outpost).

Ebbo Hayes did not like fighting himselt. He made fights for other people, posed as their benefactor and appropriated as much of their profit and glory as they would stand. Ebbo Hayes had some of the qualities that make the great statesman.

He had discovered his talent in his early youth —almost in his infancy—when he learned to sool on two pups until they engaged in an interesting combat Subsequently, when he went to the Model School, many an afternoon, otherwise dull, was made to pass pleasantly by the convincing way that Ebbo would tell one boy that another had called him a liar. In his later teens, he was taken on as assistant to two young men engaged in hawking fruit, and inside of six months he had embittered the partners to such an extent that they finally got three each and Ebbo took the barrow. It was then that he joined the Central Mission and developed his business so that he was enabled to sell out and realise the cherished dream of his life —the possession of a racing pony. The stewards of pony courses are not punctitious in their interpretation of the rules of fair racing, but Ebbo was at last deemed too strong ; and, after he had successfully Shifted the blame on to two jockeys and a trainer he and his mare Sweet Josie were rubbed out for the maximum period of three months. Ebbo had done well, but he strongly disapproved of earning nothing for twelve weeks, and accordingly sought out Jimmy Ah Yin.

Jimmy knew a little about pony racing. Six months as a butcher's boy and a lifetime at soldiering unprotected ¡barebacks qualified him for the position of a;jockey at pony courses, which he had attained to at the age of 15. But despite his experience, Jimmy was not a sufficiently expert horseman fordhe requirements of the position and although he did his best, his mount went to the front and stayed there. Jimmy was cast out of pony racing society with the dishonor that the sea accords to the captain^who loses his first ship.

But Ebbo Hayes did not want Jimmy as a rider. He was to be an_owner. With very little manipulation Sweet Josie was rendered unrecognisable to the casual spectator, and with Ebbo lying low Mr. James Ah \ in’s brown mare, Honeysuckle, was rung in and raced three times unsuccessfully against cattle that Sweet Josie was wont to beat. Then the handicappers left her at the bottom of the list and the syndicate’s opportunity came.

1 he public were backing The Gun vigorously. They thought they knew something, but Jimmy opined that they couldn't tip a dray, and a-r-tanged for the making of much money. He did not know Ebbo Hayes, and while he was giving a last touch to the horse, Ebbo got his money on at long prices, and spoiled the market.. Jimmy came out in time to hear the books.calling Honeysuckle at evens, and saw the situation at a glance. He rushed to the fence and made frantic endeavours to attract the jockey’s attention, but they were at the starting gate by that time. Jimmy Ah Yin, who foresaw everything, was taken down and knew it. He always recognised the inevitable—that was one of the qualities that made him a successful diplomatist—and he made for Ebbo Hayes, That shrewd person did not see the race that meant so much for him, for Jimmy closed both his eyes before the second futlong was covered, and would have been left for dead but for outside intervention. When Honeysuckle s number was posted, Jimmy scored a point by collecting the stake, and while Ebbo Hayes was piotesting with the stewards, he rode the foaming winner from the course to the stables of a friend in Bouverie-street. This was the beginning of the series of civil and criminal proceedings regarding the ownership of the racing pony Honeysuckle, " ended in a triumph for Jimmy and cost Ebbo Hayes all he had. A week after the last case, Jimmy was well and truly woodened by Tot Trewartha, in payment of a long list of dire wrongs imagined and picturesquely described by

Ebbo Hayes. Wherefore Jimmy had Ebbo set, and lay for him with the vigilance of a cat.

“ Ef yer got a derry on the bloke we’ll len’ a ban’ ter deal wif him,” offered Eddie Lambert, who never forgot a favour or forgave an injury.

Jimmy felt his voice catch. He pressed Eddie Lambert’s hand. “ I know' yer would,” he said. “Yer a decent sort, Eddie, and chance it. But it ain’t my lurk. Ebbo Hayes couldn’t fight a sausage, an’ ef 1 wanted ter lay him out, h’es dead meat fur me on me little lonely. But I got a way as’ll hurt him a heap more.”

Mean while Ebbo had returned to his old amusement of buying fights for people, but this time he bought them to sell at a profit. But, even if profitable, fights were not too frequent, so as a sound business of a non-speculative character, Ebbo Hayes started a two-up school.

It occupied the top floor of a boom-time building erected when Exhibition-street was daily expected to become a mercantile centre. There was an Assyrian importer on the ground floor where brown unwashed sweated hawkers filled their swags daily and tramped off to disseminate various forms of germ life through the country districts. The first and second lloors tire placarded “To Let,” and on the third Ebbo Hayes’s two-up school lived and flourished for three months. It w'as in the heyday of its prosperity that Tot Trewartha fell foul of the law over the wrecking of a bar in Carlton. He was out on bail without a bean, and with a commital for grievous bodily hanging over his head. In his time of misfortune he looked to Ebbo Hayes, who thought it would be good if somebody else were to assist Tot financially. This much Jimmy Ah Yin learned from Mother Williams, the professional bondswoman, who had gone bail for Tot for £2 down and who gave Jimmy her confidence. .The rest he decided upon himself.

“I’m gointer a two-up school ter night,” he confided to Eddie Lambert, “ an’ make no ei ror I’m gointer score a double header, wifout goim past the door.”

There was a big muster at Ebbo Hayes’s that night. The forms on the four sides of the long room were filled, and behind them a row of players stood fingering their coins. Ebbo Hayes, coatless and bare-armed, swaggered in the centre of the space with a fiat piece of board in his right hand.

Coins dripped from all sides to the cocoanut matting on the floor, and as the cataract ceased, Ebbo Hayes swung up the board and a couple of pennies were flung spinning into the air. As they rung lightly on the matting, every neck in the room craned forward with one motion, and Ebbo called the result as a signal for the lean croupier to run round and settle accounts. The school, as a rule, was “ in ” about xo o’clock at night, and it was not until dawn approached or the room had done in all its money that time was called.

To-night was not a good one for Ebbo. The crowd had been getting on to double headers in the most aggravating way, and he had even examined the coins more.' than once to ascertain whether two-headed pennies had not been rung in by some conspirators. But all was right. It was merely some aberration of Fate who had disregarded the law of averages for the night and given the backers a chance. Ebbo murmured to the croupier that his luck was stinking, and on the stroke of midnight he called the last toss. He was not out of pocket on the night, but there was an absence of his usual profits, and he carried only the £2,0 he had received that afternoon as the takings of the last light, instead of about £10 more. The crowd stood up, Tot Trewartha among them, when Ebbo thought to be generous.

“ Stop a bit, fellers,” he cried, and grabbing Tot by the arm he dragged him to the centre of the space. “They’s somefin’ I wanter say ter yer before yer go. Yer all know Tot here—” Tot nodded and stood with his toes in, grinning down sheepishly at the hat he twirled incessantly with both hands.

“ Yer know as Tot’s had a bit er hard moz lately,” Ebbo glanced round the room. All present were men who worked for their living. Not one had ever seen the inside of a gaol, except, perhaps,

to expiate an unpaid fine. On other nights Ebbo had the Rats and all Bourke-street for his patrons, and scarce a man was in the room but would have proudly owned to 10 priors.

“Yer know too, that they’s no harm in Tot,” he continued, with a well simulated ring ot pathos in his voice. “He ain’t a rogue. He’s never done nufiin’ ’cep’ what all on us might fall in over, ef people opened their mouths.”

The crowd nodded. “ Hear, hear,” said one.

“ But he’s got ter face the music now an’ things ain’t bin none too good wif him lately neither. \Ye all hope as how he'll be turned up, but nuffin’s a cert in this here life.”

“ Righto,” murmured the crowd sympathetically, thinking of the races Sweet Josie used to win.

“ So we want ter have a word wif a few as has everyling to say in the matter. It's a thing I never done before, but 1 11 lay down a towel now, and arst yer ter give accordin’ ter yer means, ter get Tot off. Ye’ve had a good night, lads, so sling 'em in willin’ ; it's a good cause.”

He threw the towel down and a copper struck it before he smoothed its creases. More followed and a mate of Tot’s, who was a strong winner, brought out silver with a couple of half-crowns as pacemakers.

Tot, watching the money bouncing on the towel, felt the tears blurring his vision, till he wondered how much of the subscription would come to him after Ebbo: had counted it. At least three or four pounds had been thrown in, when there was a loud clatter in the street below. Cries rose from the staircase. There was a sound of slamming doors. One of Ebbo’s watchdogs bounded into the room yelling “ Yow !”

Ebbo’s presence of mind never deserted him. He scooped the money on the towel into his own pockets, forced the crowd back to the forms again, and released a pair of gymnastic rings from a hook on the wall. The croupier and the watchdog stripped to the buff inside of a minute, and Ebbo bound the boxing gloves to their wrists as the door on the second landing was shattered to pieces. There were sounds of heavy steps on the stairs, and Ebbo rushed to the little back room, tied the profits of the fight and Tot’s testimonial in a towel and flung it into the open yard three stories below. Then, as blows sounded on the door of the room itself, he ran up, opened it and admitted Detective Sergeant O'Brien and a score of plain clothes police.

“ Come in gentlemen,” he said, “ we're just having a little spar.”

Hooray 1 Shake ’em up. Deal it out lads. Hooray ! Hooray ! yelled the crowd in corroboration, as the two youths in the centre banged one another with the gloves in fury.

“ A little spar atone o’clock in the morning,” remarked Detective Sergeant O’Brien sarcastically, “ and not a drop of sweat on the men. A good liar like- you, Ebbo, oughtn’t to overlook these points.” He glanced round the.floor, then stooped and picked something up. “ You use this for boxing too, don’t you,” he queried, holding up the flat board from which the pennies had been tossed.

“ I s’pose ye’ll let's see Mother William's about the bail ?” asked Ebbo.

Detective Sergeant O’Brien was a good sort, and always willing to oblige a prisoner. “Oh, yes, that'll be all right Ebbo, I’ll send one of the boys along now.”

“ It was only [half an hour later, that Edward Hayes was duly admitted to bail and released. He said he was going home to bed, but shook off everybody, and by a circuitous route made his way back to the school. There was a crowd at the front door still and the plain clothes were rushing away cabfuls of his patrons to the watch-house. Ebbo did not watch the scene, but dodged into the lane at the rear and edged on tiptoe to the high galvanized back fence. He glanced round. Nobody was in sight and in a moment he clambered to the top and bounded into the yard.-

As his feet landed lightly on the ground, Jimmy Ah Yin hopped out of the opposite doorway with a small bundle in his arms. He tossed this high into the air, and jumping football fashion marked it on his chest.

“ Ebbo’s one ; Tot’s two, and this here’s three,” he said. “ I scored a treble header ter night. That’s up Mr. bloomin’ Hayes.”


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The week lias passed without any change of bill, and all the shows have done good business, just to liven things up a little, however, the Herald supplies its readers with original items of theatrical news. For iustance, last Wednesday, in a “ What Happeneti to Jones ?” paragraph, it remarked “the farce, ‘ An Empty Stocking,’ which precedes the main piece, is a laughable affair.” Yes, indeed, so laughable that throughout the pretty pathos of it the audience sits in a solemn silence, broken only by a muffled blowing of noses that sounds suspiciously like a subterfuge to disguise tears. Hut then the Herald, a week or two previously, announced Mr. Arnold’s combination of comedies as “a Comic Opera Company,” and it must keep up its reputation.

At the Alexandra Theatre a change of bill for three nights is announced for Wednesday, when Miss Maud Williamson’s adaptation of the “The Deemster” will be produced under the title of “ The Gates of Bondage.” It should be an interesting event.

This theatre, to be re-named Her Majesty's, will hen pass into the lesseeship of Mr. J. C. Williamson, whose return to Melbourne will be welcome intelligence to playgoers. He announces a revival of the Gilbert and Sullivan operas, commencing with “ H.M.S. Pinafore,” and the season should do much to permanently place this well-appointed house high in the estimation of the public. It has only required tenancy under first-class auspices to wear down the prejudice caused by its location, which, by the way, is, thanks to the police and sunound-ing tradespeople, now one of the most respectable in the city.

“ The Ladder of Life,” at the Theatre Royal, has hit the public taste, and continues to draw good houses. The Bijou Theatre continues under the management of a gentleman who considers it the best policy for Mr. Rickards to discourage newspaper criticism of the artists engaged. I understand, however, that his conspicuous talents in this direction are to be transferred to Sydney, where, provided the spirit of candidness which he has so carefully fostered at the Bijou does not survive him, Mr. Rickards’ show will doubtless receive the journalistic attention it merits.

A concert for the benefit of the widow and family of the late Labour member, John Hancock, will be held at the Town Hall on Monday night next, Miss Minnie Waugh, Miss Mary Conly, Miss Ida Osborne, Miss Ally Mathinson, Mr. W. F. Turner, Mr. J. Gregor Wood, Signor A. Rebottaro, Mr. Franz O. Shieblich, and the Lyric Orchestra being among the performers. It speaks volumes for the high estimation in which Mr. Hancock was held, when, in spite of his extreme political views, the Lieul.-Governor, Sir Malcolm. McEacharn, Sir Henry Wrixon, Sir John McIntyre, and other prominent Conservatives, are found amongst the organisers of this entertainment. It is a recognition of the fact that, while always strong and uncompromising in the advocacy of his connections, Mr. Hancock was always fair and never offensive.

Among plays that booklovers will read with interest are a group of four, “ Beau Austin,” “ Deacon Brodie,” “ Admiral Guinea,” and “ Macaire,” by W. E. Henley and R. L. Stevenson. “ Deacon Brodie or The Double Life ” is a melodrama depicting the exploits of a Presbyterian churchman, who contrives to combine the craft of carpentry with the crime of burglary. He is a character very suggestive of The Spider in “ The Silver King”’ The play was staged once or twice some years ago, but is so light in plot and lacking in action that I should imagine it would not be a stage success. “ Macaire ” is curiously described as a melodramatic farce, and the rattling good comedy of it and its tragic climax bears out the title. It has some good lines, spoken usually by Robert Macaire a devil-may-care highwayman. For instance,

“ What is crime ? Discovery. Virtue ? Opportunity. Politics ?    Pretext. Affection ? An

Affectation. Morality? An affair of latitude. .    .

Property ? Plunder. Business ? Other people’s money.” .    .    .

“ What is a chaplain ? A man they pay to say what you don’t want to hear." . .    .

“ Bertrand, if I’d three hundred a year, I’d be honest to-morrow.” A sentiment all members of Parliament could not utter with a serene conscience.

“ Murder ? I know who made that name—a man crouching from the knife ! Selfishness made it—the aggregated egotism called Society.”

“What is a policeman? Justice’s blind eye,” and so on. Henly and Stevenson have hardly written the sort of plays that would, in themselves serve to raise the tone of popular dramatic taste, but they are an indication of what might be done if writers of their calibre devoted themselves seriously to the task. Some remarks on “ Admiral Guinea” and “ Beau Austin” await another opportunity.

* * *

Mr. Charles Arnold’s season at the Princess has been so successful that its original limit of six weeks will be extended to fifteen, during which there will be two or three changes of bill, after “ What Happened to Jones ?” which is still going strong, has run its course. “On and Off," an adaptation from the French, which took London by storm, at the end of 1898 and beginning of last year, will be staged, and in response to a number of requests, “ Hans the Boatman” will be reproduced. Mr. Arnold also hopes to put on “ The Wrong Mr. Wright” and “Why Smith left Home," by the author of “Jones;” “The Professor’s Love Story,” by J. M. Barrie ; and “ Yesterday,” by E. Rose, adapted of the “ Prisoner of Zenda,” “ Under the Red Robe,” etc. Of these pieces, Mr. Arnold has selected “ The Professor's Love Story" to follow “Jones."

A very interesting interview with Mr. Arnold, dealing with his exciting South African experiences, will appear next week.

The spectacle of a Presbyterian parson apologising from the pulpit to an actress whom he had maligned should be enough to make even angels smile. Miss Olga Nethersole, to the honour and glory of her profession , has just achieved this triumph in New York, and the result should be to shake the “ fundamental doctrines’’ of the Westminster Confession of Faith to its foundations. The circumstance shows how much better it would have been had Professor Marshall-Hall issued a writ instead of a whine when he was pursued by a pack of miserable libellers.    Garrick.

Most of the police constables charged with the regulation of traffic at the intersection of the larger streets are neglecting their work flagrantly. The Princes Bridge intersection is the one exception to this general statement. The Town Hall corner is indifferently regulated, but at the intersection of Elizabeth and Collins-streets the work receives no attention at all. If the problem is a difficult one, the officer in charge of it might merit some sympathy, but the present writer has seen half a dozen vehicles drawn right across the foot crossing, whilst the “ constable on duty ” took not the slightest trouble to keep the way clear. The matter certainly deserves immediate remedy, and as the remedy is so simple, the writer fails to see why it should not be carried out forthwith.—Pedes

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THE OUTPOST,


May 12, njoò.


cap, run in Adelaide on Saturday last. There was little to choose in the betting between iny selection, Lyddite and Stage-light, who finished second and third to the unthought of Ranfurly, who paid the magnificent dividend of £tot 13s. The course, we hear, was in splendid order, and it certainly must have been, as Sir Rupert Clarke's horse won somewhat easily over the six furlong course in the slashing time of t min. lgjsec., with the steadier of nine stone four up. If ever a race looked a certainty on paper for a horse, it was Lyddite with 6.10 up, and the finality of the race only goes to show what a good horse Ranfurly must be over the distance—quite up to the best weight for age form.

It was Jim Scobie's little son who was godfather to the winner, and lie named it on the day of the arrival of the Governor of New Zealand. The colt for his great size showed pace even as an early two year old, and Scobie thought he had a great chance of winning the Maribyrnong Plate with him. He is a nicely bred one by Eirispord out of Nina by Nattendon.

* * *

Although there was not a very large attendance at Caullicld on Saturday last, the meeting was a thoroughly enjoyable one as regards the weather and the racing, but it cannot be said that it was a good one for backers, who fared badly all through the afternoon until the Glenferrie Welter, when the long awaited good thing, in Private Willis came oil triumphantly. The owner claimed a seven pounds allowance for putting up a tad who had never ridden a winner. The colt is undoubtedly good and is extremely well bred ; by MartiniHenry out 01 lolanlhc by Maribyrnong out of the imported mare Kosedale reads good enough for anything. The very astute party behind him made no mistake and must have landed a large stake, as they backed the horse from hundreds to eight clown to 5 to 1, and the good thing was landed easily.

Mr. W. Glasscock's run of bad luck still sticks to him, as he ran two seconds with Olaf and Carrara. The first horse was generally supposed not to he able to get the distance in the Gleii-huntly Handicap—over a mile and three furlongs—but he has been doing long work on the Klemington training ground lately, and that has evidently developed unexpected staying form.

The Musketeer, whom I selected to win in last week's issue, did so very easily, although he was going in and out before the distance. The horse showed a vast improvement on his recent running at Sandown Park, and as he does not look anything like wound up at present, there is every probability of his keeping up Ins winning form for some lime to come. He is a beautifully shaped brown horse, with his sire's (Enfilade) head, and the true type of a Musket’s quarters and back, but Mr. J. V. Smith, of Liu wood Grange, who bred the horse, tells me he is more like his dam. Meadow Queen, than his sire.

Alec. Taylor won the Two-Year-Old Race with the well-bred chestnut fitly, Polyxena, by Neekers-gat from Hecuba, by Gang Forward from the imported Helen. She has grown and thickened a lot since she finished third to Finland and Wigel-mar in the Maribyrnong Plate, and it is not unlikely that she may prove the best filly of the year.

There was very nearly a smash in the Glenferrie Welter Handicap. In a field of 24 starters something chipped across Bacchus and brought him down heavily. Fortunately, neither horse nor jockey (J. Roberts) was seriously injured, but they had a very narrow escape.

Clamorous was all the rage for the Hurdle Race. The horse was looking extremely well and is a

perfect type of a jumper. However, just as he was making his run he jumped right on the top of a hurdle, which put him out of court at once.

Mr. Miller did not fancy his chance with Welfare in the Hurdle Race a bit. The horse was not looking quite himself, appearing dry in the coat and not muscled up like the Mill Park good thing usually is; but he ran a rattling good race and was only just beaten by Insult, to whom he was giving two stone all but two pounds.

Old Blue Peter gave a rare exhibition of fencing in the Ncerim Steeplechase. Douglas, who rode him, sent the chestnut along from the jump, and never making the semblance of a mistake won easily at the finish.

Racing began with the Federal Stakes, and there was a rush to get on to the British Admiral, who started at 6 to 4. Alec Taylor fancied his filly-Polyxena, and got the nice price of 5 to 1. The filly won very easily, doing the six furlongs in 1-22. To mv mind, the best looking and probably the best of the youngsters in this race was Mr. Red-fearn’s Malvolio colt, Malton, who, although not strung up, ran uncommonly well, showing heaps of pace, and is worth following. The British Admiral can’t be as good as we thought, as he only got a bad third to the winner.

Directly the books opened on the Hurdle Race there was a continuous run on Clamorous, wlm started at 9 to 4. Orient and Mort Avis were the only two others backed for money, the winner, Insult, carrying very little either of his owner’s or the public coin. Clamorous when going well jumped right on top of a hurdle which put out all possibility of his winning. Welfare put a really good performance by running second with 12.5 up. Treadle, a novice at the jumping game, got over his first three jumps very quickly, but then seemed to get bothered and dropped back. Anyhow he is wortli keeping in mind as we know his pace, and j ampin g seems to have come naturally to him. Parakeet was coming very fast at the finish and should win before long, and Arcadia when more seasoned will run well.

The Glenhuntly Handicap was a really good betting race and it was some [¡me before Adjuster settled down into favouritism at 7 to 2. Sedge was probably backed for more money than any horse in the race, and Olaf and The Musketeer had go. cl following. The Musketeer running a bit shiftily at the finish stayed better than Olaf and won by half a length. The books were very nearly having a regular turn up, as Wisdom, entirely unsupported, looked extremely like scoring at the distance.

Milan in J. Cripp's stable was a great tip all over the Paddock before the Steeplechase, but though with the assistance of T. Curtain, who had the mount and is in great form at present, the gelding finished away in the ruck. Old Blue Peter, ridden a capital race by W. Douglas, who drove him along from the start, got home easily from Wallaby, who fenced capitally. Sinister ran badly and so did Land’s End, but Ouyen, who was not wound up, showed some of her well-known brilliancy.

There was no mistake made in the backing of Private ..Willis for the Glenferrie Handicap for claiming the ylb. allowance. He simply played with his field, and won easily from Carrara and Detonator. Foret was a strong order, and looked like having a winning show at die turn for home, but then dropped out suddenly and finished fourth.

The Brighton Handicap was a regular crusher to backers, as Slatin, the winner, was hardly mentioned in the betting, his owner only having a few pounds on. Flint was in everybody’s mouth, and finally said ttic short price of 3 to 1, Reel was another one that came in for plenty of attention, and went out at 5 to 1. Both, however, ran uncommonly badly, and Reel finished last but one. I should be sorry to take this form as the filly’s best. She might have had bad luck in the race, or perhaps is not thoroughly seasoned. Neva, that good, consistent, honest, little mare, ran a rattling good race, finishing second to Slatin, with nine stone up. Locksmith, as usual, made a fool of himself at the post, and was going the other way when the barrier went up.

Mr. Mat G’Shannessy, who died last week, was oneof those few men the turf can ill afford to lose, tie was a.thpcough sportsman at heart, and took the keenest interest in his work, both on the V.R.C. and V.A.T.C. committees.

He always had one or two horses in training, beginning originally with youngCJim Wilson, who had a few of his in training. He gravitated to headquarters and placed his racing affairs in Mr. R. McKenna’s hands. He owned (in conjunction with Mr. F. Ervy) several good horses, notably Chicago, who was probably the best he ever had. Another horse who, if he only could have been trained, would have turned out real good was the Richmond horse Jonathan.

It was a marvellous performance to run so well in his Derby as the colt had done no work and was almost unfit. Sword-bearer was another disappointment in a way. A rattling good horse without a doubt, but he was always going wrong in his feet when he was being wound up. The horse went to India afterwards, but did not do much good there. Mr. O’Sliannessy introduced the false rail principle at both Flemmgton and Caulfield, but after a few trials the clubs reverted to their old procedure.

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The Australian troops in South Aft ica are now realizing the fulfilment of the promise made to them some time ago by Lord Roberts that they would have plenty of fighting to do. They are right in the thickest of the lighting and judging by the list of casualties, are taking their fair share of the hard knocks and, of course, will be giving the Boers a troublesome time in return.

For a considerable time past all the most serious fighting has taken place in that tract of country which would be included in a triangle, [having Winberg for its apex, and a line stretching from De Wets Dorp to Wepener for its base. General lan Hamilton’s division, of which the Australian Contingents form a portion, has taken part in the work of clearing the enemy from the difficult country at Thaba N’Chu and its neighborhood, and has driven the Boers back thence through Hout Nek to Win-burg, and a glance at the map will show that of all the Division Commanders who are sweeping the Free State clear of the enemy, none have had a more arduous line of advance than General Hamilton.

In the performance of such work we must expect to hear of serious casualties among our troops, and while we regret that so many men have gone down, the colonies will note with satisfaction and pride that impliet confidence continues to be placed in the colonial troops and that they are fully justifying that confidence.

The numerous friends of Lieut. Lilley will have heard with regret of his unfortunate experiences in South Africa. lie left Victoria as adjutant of the second contingent and soon after his arrival in Cape Colony was stricken down with the dreadful enteric fever. As soon as he recovered, he rejoined his regiment, only to see a little of the real work of a soldier before being wounded in the head and taken prisoner by the Boers.

During the time he held a commission in the militia    forces in this colony, he

proved himself a good practical officer and a splendid horseman, and men of his stamp can ill be spared in the field, and it is indeed a pity that after having spent so long a time in hospital, he is now likely to spend the balance of the most exciting period of the war as a prisoner of the enemy.

* * *

Many men who have been connected with the militia forces here for a few years, and especially those who have served in the First Infantry Battalion, will remember one or more of the three brothers, named Dobie, who for a while served in D Company of that Battalion, and about four years ago went with their father and another brother to South Africa. To such men, it will be interesting to know that on the outbreak of the war, the father and the four sons, although in different parts of South Africa, all took up arms against the Boers, and joined whatever corps was raised in the locality in which they happened to be.

It thus happened that George    Dobie—

Lance-Corporal Dobie as he was known in D Company—was shut up in Kimberley, and came through the siege scathless ; Jack was, and it is to be hoped still is, helping to defend Mafeking, and the rest are probably at this time all assisting to hammer Paul in the Orange Free State. Two of the sons, at least, had learnt to handle the rifle skilfully here, and no doubt all five are now good shots, and just the material that is required for the work that they are doing. There are not many families that will show a record to beat this.

At a meeting of the committee of the Melbourne Rifle Club held on the 2nd inst., a number of letters were read in which secretaries of country clubs made inquiries as to whether the Melbourne Rifle Club had any steel targets for sale. The club does not own any targets ; all the targets at \\ illiams-town are the property of the Victorian Rifle Association, and the Association will not dispose of any of the steel targets until those of canvas, which are being so anxiously awaited for, are erected by the Public Works Department.

Another letter was received from a country club stating that at practice recently it had been discovered that several cartridges would not explode, and information was sought as to the reliability or unreliability of ammunition manufactured by the Colonial Ammunition Company. To this letter the committee decided that a reply should be sent stating that it would give no opinion as to the ammunition, but if any defective cartridges were found they should at once be sent with their wrappers and particulars of the markings on the box from which they were obtained to headquarters.

The military authorities supply the ammunition- to the clubs, and such authorities should at once be notified as to cartridges which miss-fire, or are otherwise defective, so that no time may be lost in tracing the defects to their source. On the rifle range cartridges which will not explode are annoying, but on active service very disastrous results might ensue on a miss-fire.

An interesting match has been arranged for the 24II1 inst. by the committee of the Melbourne Rifle Club. The whole of the members of the dub, who attend at Williamstown on that date, will he divided into two teams, one captained by Mr. Paul and the other by Mr. Baldie, and the teams will compete against each other by firing at 400, 500, and 600 yards, seven shots at each distance. The match will be followed by a dinner in the club-room on the rifle range. This match should prove very instructive fer a number of the new members of the club, for the older members of each team will be careful to coach all beginners on their own side, with a view to getting the best results, and winning the match.

POLYGKOOVK.

It is being bruited about in London with evident persistency that several of the big publishing houses are on the verge of bankruptcy. Cause : the tremendous expenditure caused by the war-picture boom. The cost of these publications in one way and another is vast and the receipts are quite insufficient to cover the outlay. The only remedy is the syndication of the various weeklies in a trust. If this is not resorted to the crash will be due when the war ends, with some other crashes.

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Dear Sir,—It affords me the greatest pleasure to testify to the wonderful curative properties of Webber’s Vitadatio, lor which you are the sole Australasian distributor. For 25 years 1 suffered with Stricture. At last 1 had to go into the Sydney Hospital. Underwent an operation, but derived no benefit. Shortly after leaving the hospital a fistula formed, which also caused me great pain. During a gale at sea 1 had the misfortune to become ruptured on both sides. Returning to Sydney, I again entered the hospital and remained there five (5) months, undergoing another painful operation, from which I derived no benefit. In (his slaie determined to try Vitadatio. The third bottle began to make itself felt, and 1 took nine bottles with me to sea. My friends never expected to see me again alive, but to-day 1 am in better health than 1 have been for the past 25 years, and have increased in weight from yst. to over i.;st. This is entirely due to Webber's Vi tad alio, and it cannot he too widely published. I am well-known in Sydney, and you are at liberty lo publish tins for the benefit of others. In conclusion, my friends in Vancouver were so astonished at my recovery that they have ordered me to obtain a supply from you for them. —Yours truly, (Signed) GEORGE BUTCHER.

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The sun shines warm, but the wind blows keen Off the muttering blue-black sea,

The trail in front lies thick and good,

Which we bless most fervently,

For there’s six bags out and the thicker ’tis laid The shorter the run will be,

And we’re all of us green and we’re some of 11s new, So short be the run, say we.

Then gently, gently step along Face ;

We’re none of us anxious to make it a race. And Whip be kind to the laggards to-day ; There’s no one will chafe at a little delay.

See 1 there arc the hares, quick-scampTing to cover, But little have they to fear ;

For we wouldn’t chase them, be never so tempting The chance, and they never so near.

For we’ve all got the stitch and are wond’ring how soon

Before we must drop to the rear.

But we hope that another will signal to Whip,

And our honour may thus be kept clear.

So sharply, sharply, whistle up Whip !

Up-hill lei’s walk and down we'll skip.

And Face you've naught of reproof to say,

’ We’re keeping behind all right to-day.

Oh ! kind were the hares who laid this trail Where the friendly furze boughs tickle,

And it’s good for the youngster’s tender skin To (eel the chastening prickle.

But we re lacing fair for home at last,

And changing fancy tickle Vows that the sound hard road is best,

And naught else worth a nickel.

And the hares have gone down to the sad sea waves,

But we’ll prove ourselves freemen and not servile slaves.

Our equal right to the Queen’s highway,

We’ll yield to none of Her subjects to-day.

But it’s good to be out on the trail once more,

The trail that is always new,

And winter's the season of season's for us,

Let his skies be black or blue.

But the last trail must finish as well as the first, And the end of the first’s in view ;

May Winters’ many roll cheerily by.

K're the last trail ends for you.

Then clear the road and give them a show, The racers are waiting the word to go,

So through the gap and scurry away,

If you’d he in time for the finish to-day.

Fkstina Lkntk.

Last Saturday the season's work Harriers, commenced in earnest, and all the clubs, but one, were busy. Coburg will commence next Saturday. Towards the end of last season rumours were current as to the disbandment of this club, and the opinion was freely expressed that it would drop out altogether this year. It is pleasing to record that this will not be so. The annual meeting was well attended and there were a goodly number of new faces to encourage those who bad worked to revive interest in the sport. Office-bearers were elected as fol


lows :—Patron, Mr. F. W. Holland ; president, Cr. Bush ; hon. sec., Mr. A. Sutherland (Jessie-street, Moreland) ; hon. treasurer, S. C. Jones; committee, J. Murphy, A. York and S. Foster. 1 hope that those of the old members who have been wavering in their allegiance will return to it, and loyally endeavor to bring success to the old club. A harrier who deserts a weak club for a strong one in order that he may, possibly, bring himself into greater prominence, deserves and receives little respect. And sometimes one is suspicious that unseemly efforts are made by large clubs to increase their strength by drawing away the best men from the weaker clubs. If this practice became general we might eventually have to adopt some such scheme as the Local District Divisions now being tried in New South Wales, and in Victoria that would be a pity. 1 have not yet had an opportunity of becoming well acquainted with the new hon. sec., Mr. Sutherland, but I have been favorably impressed with what I have seen of him. He is young and enthusiastic, businesslike and gentlemanly, and would appear to be the right man for the work he will have to do. I wish him and his club the best of luck.

The Melbourne Harriers at Heidelberg had a good time. The hares, taking things easily, were sighted, and the pack got within too yards of them before they grasped the situation. Two of them might have got away, but the third was a youngster whose chance of escape was not at all good. So they resolved to stay together and take a bold course. They headed straight for an arm of the Yarra and swam it. On reaching the other bank they found that the number of their pursuers had been reduced to three. Then they made for the main river and swam that, and, although the three still followed doggedly, they had by this time established a safe lead and reached home well in front. The " dauntless three ” followed them and arrived in this order, B. James, H Green, H. Oxley. The rest of the pack abandoned the chase at the first check and made straight for the Old England, pausing only to line-up for the regulation race-in, in which Redmond gave a sample of his much improved form. After dinner Mr. Parkinson presided over a happy family numbering about 30. A good musical programme was put forward and the prizes won last season by members were presented. Mr. F. Shappere, vice-president V.A.A.A., was among the guests.

In about a fortnight the annual inlerdlniversity contest between Sydney and Melbourne will take place on the Melbourne Cricket Ground. Melbourne will in all probability be represented by G. A. Moir, 100 and 440 yds. ; G. McL. Redmond, 880 yds. ; H. Sutton, 1 mile ; H. L. Duigan, high jump ; C. H. Gardner, 100 yds. ; 120 yds. hurdles, long jump : and L. M. Macpherson, 120 yds. hurdles, long jump. This team should be good enough to maintain Melbourne’s supremacy, though the sister ’Varsity possesses some good men, notably H. H. Lee, W. Buchanan, C. G. Gibson, and A. H. Stewart, all of whom will be available.

In Sydney, the local club scheme has been formulated defining tfie boundaries of the different metropolitan districts, making ampie provision for the registration of country clubs, and individual members of the association. The working of the scheme will be watched with interest.

The new rooms of the Melbourne Athletic Club were opened on Wednesday, May 2nd, by Mr. C. S. Cunningham. There was a good attendance, and some exhibition boxing and fencing was indulged in by Professor Miller and his pupils. The club is going to be a big success.

Last Saturday's results :—

Melbourne (25) at Heidelberg. Hares, W. Cmnming, H. D. Smith and F. Casper. Distance, 5 mites. Face, B. J. Parkinson. Whip, F. Ferguson. Run in (880 yds.) : G. McL. Redmond, t ; T. Grant, 2 ; W. S. Smith, 3.

East Melbourne (30) at Camberwell. Hares, J. G. Macdonald and W. Brocket. Face, E. H. Serle. Whip, D. Brocket. Distance, 7 miles. Run-in (1000 yds.) : E. H. Serle, i ; Bedgood, 2 ; Davies, 3. Essendon (18) at Essendon. Hares, R. Matthews . and V. A. Clarke. Pace, J. A. Stillwell. Whip, W. Arkly. Distance, 5^ miles. Run-in (500 yds.) : Alec. Stillwell, 1 ; Norman, 2 ; T. Arkely, 3.

Carlton (20) at Carlton. Hares, H. Corbett, A. J. Ryan and H. A. Travis. Face, G. V. O’Hanlon. Whip, R. J Cuttle. Distance, 5 miles. Run-in (440 yds.) : O’Hanlon, 1 ; Morrissey, 2 ; Maguire, 3 ; Volluge, 4 ; Moloney, 5.

Malvern (8) at Malvern. Pack run. Face, C. A. R. Clarke. Whip, A. Silvester. Distance, 7 miles. Run-in (440 yds.) : C. A. R. Clarke, 1 ; H. S. Loch, 2 ; A. Silvester, 2.

Melbournian Hare and Hounds (9) at Caulfield. Hares, W. E. Briggs and G. E. Shaw. Distance, 6 miles. Run-in (500 yds.): G. j. Purbrick, 1 ; Carson, 2 ; A. T. Robinson, 3.

Clifton and Northcote (16) at Clifton Hill. Hares, A. Finlayson and Barnet. Distance, 7 miles. Run-in (440 yds.) : H. Taylor, 1 ; F. Long, 2 ; O. Scott, 3.

Auburn (16) at Auburn. Hares, Brodle and Reeves. Face, Duval. Whip, Jennings. Distance, 6 miles. Run-in (440 yds.) : C. F. Dunn, 1 ; W. F. Jennings, 2 ; E. H. Fryer, 3.

Footscray (17) at Footscray. Hares, F. Davies and J. Henderson. Face, S. Duncan. Whip, H. Pearce. Distance, 7 miles. Run-in (350 yds.) : J. Leonard, 1 ; D. W. Forsyth, 2 ; J. Atkinson, 3.

To-day’s fixtures :—East Melbourne and Melbournian Hare and Hounds at Heidelberg (interclub challenge games) ; Carlton at Essendon ; Clifton and Northcote and Essendon at Ivanhoe ; Melbourne at Kew ; Malvern at Brighton Beach ; Footscray at Preston ; Auburn at Camberwell ; Coburg at Coburg.

The lacrosse season for 1900 opened

Lacrosse, last Saturday with several surprises. Hawthorn and Kew suffered defeat at the hands of Essendon, who threw nine goals to eight. Essendon had chiefly Gay (late M.C.C.) to thank for this result ; he threw six goals. The best players on the Hawthorn side were Bainbridge, Carnegie, and Younger.

The University A team, who were pitted against Auburn, gave the Judiors no chance at all, throwing 19 goals to nothing. A. House, the University goalkeeper, found the net three times, so also did Formby and Waters. Certainly Auburn were without some of their best men, while the students had only one absentee, Drew.

The Collegia®® and M.C.C. had a tough struggle, but the latter team finished onfop. The Collegians have a promising new player in Best, a brother of the ex-Minister of Lands.

Collingwood have once more joined the Seniors. They were beaten by St. Kilda on Satuiday, 10 goals to 2.

In the B section, Williamstown had a walk over from the University B ; the latter were unable to muster a good team.

Brighton defeated the M.C.C. B team by 8 goals to 3, mainly owing to the fine play of the veteran, Moulton, who used to play for Essendon some years' ago.

The St. Kilda B team and Hawthorn and Kew made a draw wtih two goals each, St. Kilda goals being obtained by Appleby and Sergeant, and the H uvthorn's by C. Richter.

The first-class Pennant Matches com-Tennis. mence on Saturday next, and the teams which a week ago seemed satisfactorily settled are in several cases completely disarranged, owing to an unfortunate dispute between the committee of the Camberwell Club and some of the leading players in the club, the net result of which will probably be that the Camberwell club will have to retire from the matches—at any rate, for this seas-m, and several men quite up

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If there has been any doubt as to whom the title of “ Champion Cyclist of Australasia ” belongs, W. C. (Newhaven) Jackson seems to have settled it beyond dispute at the recent Sydney Electric Light Carnival, when he ran rings around a field of such first-class riders as Walne, Gordon, Forbes, Lewis, McDonald, and Morgan, winning the three motor-paced tournaments, two 2-mile handicaps from scratch, four international scratch races, and establishing three Australasian records, viz. : the one mile behind motor pace in 1-37 2-5, the three mile motor-paced in 5-12 4-3, every one of the three miles averaging 1-44 1-5, and the two-mile competition in 4-6 2-5. Jackson attributes much of his success to the easy running qualities of his Massey-Harris Bicycle.


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to first-class form will have to stand down from other teams to make room for the best of the Camberwell men.

This is the more to be regretted, as the dispute has arisen over a trifling matter. It is always difficult for a tournament committee to arrange times to suit the convenience of everyone, especially when the weather, as in this case, interferes with the play ; and if the members of the club, where the tournament is being held, do not support the committee even at personal inconvenience to themselves, what chance is there of the tournament being a success.

Some of the Camberwell players, however, evidently seemed to think that there is more honour in playing in tournaments open to all coiners than in playing in the final rounds of their own ; the material result of which conduct was that the scratching pen had to be used pretty freely with regard to them. It is sincerely to be hoped, however, that, for the sake of tiie club, the players will now see that the committee were compelled to act as they did, and that the committee will recognise that any action the men may have taken was done of the spur of the moment.


Looking at the constitution of the teams for a moment, Melbourne—last year’s winners of the pennant—still have the support of Dunlop and Diddams, though rumor hath it that the latter will only be able to play for part of thelseason. If the Camberwell team is broken up and Saxon obtains a permit to play for Melbourne, the other pair will consist of E. Waters and li. Saxon, and with Strong available as emergency, the team is a good one.


South Yarra and Albert Park have all their last year's men available, but Herbert Fraser will probably take the place of either Hunt or Alec. Chamley in the South Yarra four ; and Blair, of Camberwell, who is in the same position as Saxon, if permitted to play for Albert Park, will take Pincott’s place. Brooks and R. Fraser will make up the South Yarra team, and Spense, Baynes, and Barnard, the Albert Park team, and in form this year’s pennant should be won by one of these teams.


The University have only Feichenfeld and Miller available, but in Laurie, Robertson, and Lewers, have three most promising recruits. Malvern's team—Murphy, Mills, Crisp, and Heath, with Couples as emergency—are a very even team, and should give almost a better account of themselves than they did last year.


Gross.

cap.

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Mr. F.

Ramsden ... ...

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Mr. F.

H. Campbell ...

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Mr. ].

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Fitzroy have three of their old men playing in Hurley, M‘Comas, and Fisken. Dickson, who for ’lie last year or two, has played in the second-class pennants for South Yarra, will make up the fourth man in the team.

The Windsor team will consist of the Templeton Brothers and the Dunlop Brothers, and if the number of successful brother combinations in England—as witnessed by the Wrenshaws in the old days, and lately by the Baddeleys,.the Allens, and the Dohertys—is any criterion, the team should be a success.

St. Kilda have two pairs playing, who were very successful in the second-class matches last year, viz,, Watson and Frankenberg, and the Marsdcns, of Carlton. If Camberwell cannot get its team together again, it is just possible that the association will allow Grace Park to play a team in its place. If this arrangement is carried out, the rule that a player must have been a bona-fide member of the club for which lie is playing for at least one illrrlih, will have to be more honoured in the breach than in the observance ; still, in this way, the programme of fixtures for the season will not be disarranged.

My Sydney correspondent writes :—

The tournament, which was concluded on Saturday last, may practically be regarded as a failure both from the standpoint of public interest and financially ; the regrettable absence of the Victorians being largely responsible for this result. The entries were also very poor.

The best day, from a spectator’s point of view, was on Saturday, 28th April, when only exhibition matches were played. The play, however, was good, and not so cramped as in the actual matches.

The Single Championship was won by Rice, who was quite the best man playing. IPs win was very popular, especially as he has twice before been runner-up.

A great fight was expected in the match between Rice and Goddard, as the latter had been playing in    very good form ;

he played far below    his form of the

previous day, however, and never extended the champion. Poidevin, the runner-up, has improved immensely, but lost all chance of the championship through being dreadfully nervous in the first two sets.

The finals of the doubles produced a great game, and but for their erratic smashing of even the simplest tosses, Gaden and Rice must have won

the final set, as they had the strong lead of four games to two, and only required to win one more stroke in both the next two games. On each occasion, however, Gaden missed the easiest of smashes. Curtis and Dewhurst won both these games in the end and then took the last two games of the set and the match in a most brilliant way. The pair were heartily congratulated on the win, and on their return to their old form. Had Gaden and Rice won the match they would have been entitled to the Challenge Cup outright.

Miss Paylen won the ladies' singles in the easiest possible manner. She is quite a wonder, as Mrs. Cater (or Miss llowitt as she is better known in Victoria), is playing as well as ever, and only managed to win two games from her in the final.

Gaden and Mi s. Cater beat Dewhurst and Miss Payten in the mixed doubles.

At the Royal Melbourne Links on Golf Notes. Saturday, Messrs. Machonochic and Begg played off, against Bogey, the first round of their lie for the “ Transvaal Trophy.” Mr. Machonochic played a most consistent and sound game, but Mr. Begg did not play up to his recent form. The finish of tin; round gives Mr. Machonochie a lead of live holes. The final round will be played next Saturday.

The monthly Medal Competition look place at the Royal Melbourne Links on Saturday, resulting in a win for Mi'. \V. G. Machonochie with a score

of 86 from scratch.--

lu the Surrey Hills play for the Monthly Medal, Messrs. D. M. Anderson (scr.) and Mr. Hugh Trumble (20) tied for first place out of a field of 25. The rank grass through the greens militated strongly against good scoring.

Kew also held their Monthly Medal Competition on Saturday ; it resulted as follows

Handl-

Geelong arranged a mixed four score competition for the opening day, the trophies being presented by Mr. Jas. Russell. Mr. Douglas and Miss Edith Calvert tied with Mr. M'Gill and Mrs Kennedy.

(Continued on PnQc 20.)

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to appoint a paid secretary. The salary anticipated is £2~p per year. No definite information is available at the time of writing as to who would be selected, but there can be little doubt that if Robert McCullagh, the present honorary secretary, applies, he shall obtain the appointment.

It is understood that some of the committee are not on the most cordial terms with McCullagh at present, but it is anticipated that in making the appointment they will, for once at least, rise above the mere personal point of view, and act upon the dictates of broader interests.

As a sports meeting organiser, so far as cycling is concerned, McCullagh is easily, at present, head and shoulders over any other man in Victoria. As manager of the general interests of the club, his dealings with the committee may have been characterised by unnecessary pugnacity. But the pugnacity has been always qualified by an independence that was a constant guarantee of straight administration. If he, as a single individual, could “ hold up” the whole committee over any question, that at least said something for his character, and indicated a want of character in his committee. But putting aside all these minor considerations —because they are minor considerations—it is believed that the appointment of McCullagh will be made on a unanimous vote.

* * *

I'he fag-end of the cycling season, las*, year, was marked by the St. Kilda Cricket Club's Challenge Match farce. The beginning of the racing season this year, and the end of it, have been replete with instances of “fixing" and “ cronk riding” “too numerous to mention."

The fault would lie at the door of the League, if the League had a door. But it has not. It is a mere crumbling ruin of silly resolutions, insolvency, and stupidity. The allegation has been made that the finals of all the track events at the Druids'and Light Hours’meetings held recently were fixed” for one man. The Outpost has had no truck with these allegations, because there was no reliable evidence to back them up with. But cycle racing in Victoria lias got to such a condition that it is always safer to believe imputations of dishonesty rather than the claims to straight-going work in connection with its competitions. And tlie whole blame rests with the bankrupt Victorian League.

The rumour is current on more or less reliable authority that the M.B.C. will take charge of rating next season. As the last Austral meeting, under League control, was more or less of a farce, it seems the only thing the club can do in order to guarantee better competitions next year.

“ Link" writes.—The “free-wheel ” device has come, probably to stay. 1 rode to Daudenong late on Saturday and passed quite a number of returning bikists, all using the free-wheel. Envied them, too, when 1 saw the ease with which they just slid down hilts that 1 would have Had to twiddle my feet at. i'he sensation must be delightful. Wonder is it anything like skating l Not the Australian roller make-believe but the real thing. Can any readers tell me ? And wouldn't a free-wheel downhill race he rather funny ?

The League Executive met last Friday evening at the Port Phillip Club Hotel. The chief discession was whether Victoria should be represented at the World’s Championship Meet. At first the councillors wanted to hold a test race to decide who should represent the colony and -then run a race meeting to defray his expenses. Ultimately it was decided to grant credentials to Mr. Robt Walne to represent the colony on condition that lie should pay his own expenses.

The coaster brake affords a splendid talking point in connection with the new season’s trade in America, and the dealers who stock chainless machines rejoice in the steadily-growing demand for them. The initial bicycle exhibitions held all over the country have given the trade in coaster brakes an enormous spurt.

The annual cycle exhibition at Washington this year, was, according the 27*1 Cycle Age, nothing short of a carnival. At every cycle shop there was some special and novel feature to draw the people—auto-pianos, graphophones, etc. At one store each visitor was requested to write his name on a numbered card, and drop it Into a box. This box was opened at the end of the day, four cards drawn out, and prizes allotted to the people whose names appeared thereon. By such simple, but ingenious expedients does the American showman rake in the dollars.

The League Councillors have decided to recommend the resumption of the inter-club road-racing contests. At a meeting held last Thursday evening at the Port Phillip Hotel, they recommended that the distances be 25 and 50 miles, Instead of 25, 50 and 100 miles. The 25 mile contest will be run in two heats and a final, while the 50 mile will be run straight out. An additional condition “ that every competitor must be a member of the club he represents for at least six months prior to the first contest,” was also recommended to be imposed. This resolution adds another to the many absurd and incongruous acts that have helped to make the League ridiculous.

We have it from America that the allied representative of cycle workers and traders under the A.B.C. met in conference at New York last month, and submitted a proposition that none but union labour be employed by the gigantic trust. Vice-president Bromley promised to submit the proposition lo the board of directors of the A.B.C. at an early date.

Sanger and Zimmerman are drawn against each other for the L.A.W. meet, which is going to be very popular. The man behind an “ infernal ” machine is up-to-date and admirable, but popular sporting interest harks back occasionally, and the reappearance of the old timers is likely to draw a huge crowd to the meet.

A real live repair man is one who scorns expediency. He has no truck with “ temporary” jobs, and he would let you fling your old scrap-iron out on the dust-heap rather than patch it up poorly, because you are too mean to pay the price of a decent repair. The cycle man who takes in cheap repair work is bound to be a business failure ' sooner of later, and the customer who haggles for such tinkering will find himself give way suddenly some day, and lie’s mean enough to deserve it.

To give good value for money received is, first and last, the trader’s finest policy. He may do this either by supplying the best article at a fair price, or by selling a fair article at a very low price. The latter method does not make money, for after a man lias had an article for some time, he ceases to bother about the price, and concerns himself simply with the efficiency of his purchase. In the long run, the average man does not grudge £20 well spent, but he will wear himself out fretting

over the fiver he threw away.

The National Cyclists' Union (Eng.) have recently decided against road racing, and voted making it compulsory that any club holding any road race should be suspended.

There is urgent necessity for the work of “ cycling policemen "on the St. Kilda road. The scorching nuisance has again grown rampant. All good wheelmen are interested in the suppression of this evil, and the matter deserves prompt attention.

A Victorian cycling paper stated last week that the Cycle Board of Trade at its last meeting decided to engage no racing men next season. The statement was quite wrong. No such decision was arrived at.

The Canadian branch of the A.B.C. has advertised inviting tenders for the construction of its new factory buildings. The factory is to be built on strictly modern principles. The actual building will cost about L'9000, and already machinery has been ordered to the value of ^70,000 for the equipment of the new factory.

The Cycle Age is publishing some interesting correspondence about the “ fight for sidewalk privilege” between cyclists and the non-wheeling or anti-wheeling public. In Iowa the wheeling interests have triumphed, and the cyclist now lords it on the asphalt instead of toiling through slush on the common highway.

There are proportionately more bicycles .ridden in Salt Lake City than in any other city in the Union. The Cycle Age estimates that 1500 wheels were sold locally during 1899, and even better sales are expected this year. Strange to say, the chainless craze has not yet struck Utah—possibly it is, so far, a matter of difference in price.

Mr. C. A. Proctor, Secretary of the Australasian Dunlop Tyre Co., sailed by the Arcadia on Tuesday last for a flying business trip to London Mr. Proctor is accompanied by his wife, and his visit portends important additions to the business of the present company, which will probably take tlie initiative in introducing in a large way up-to-date motor-cars and voiturettes into this province.

The statement that wheeling lias gone out of fashion amongst such swagger people as this country produces is nonsense. Ride around Toorak, Armadale and Malvern any Saturday and see the riders—hes and shes—with tennis racquets, golf sticks and parcels of books. They don’t ride in parties as of old, but they use the wheel as a vehicle that is quite indispensable.

Tlie Victorian Executive recently received a cable from the International Cyclists’ Union (Eng.). The cable contained three words : “ Affiliated Championship withdraw,” and at a recent meeting the councillors, after vainly wasting a couple of hours to fathom the mystery, decided to cable back for an explanation.

Tlie centre of European racing, this year, will be at Paris—that goes without saying. Then Berlin will be the scene of some good contests. There are two rival tracks in Berlin, and that means a good deal of competition and the awarding of big prizes. It is not expected that Brussells and Vienna will figure much on this season’s running programme. The Cycle Age catalogues contestants in the Parisian season as follows :—For distances of over 35 miles, Walters (Eng.) is the most formidable, then Edouard Taylor is expected to put in some splendid work below this limit, and he and Jacquelin are likely to run it hard with each other. Tom Linton is Europe’s best man below 25 miles. Parisians are reported to be greatly disappointed at Major Taylor’s refusal to compete, as they expected him to add strongly to tlie army of sprinters.

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Mr. Charles Neunb'offer, the Victorian manager of Massey-Harris Cycles, was so seriously indisposed, last week, that his medical adviser ordered a complete rest from business duties. Mr. Neun-hoffer has now recovered sufficiently to resume his duties.

Cyclists in Buenos Ayres pay a tax of $5 per year. The money so collected is given over,to the local bicycle club, and is cpnscicnlously devoted to street and road improvement.

“ Scorcher ” writes A suggestion has been made that no competitor in the forthcoming road races be allowed to use a machine under 261b. weight. The idea is to minimise the danger caused through light machines breaking down and also to lessen the risk of accident by enormous gears and excessive speed.

Free wheel brakes form the absorbing trade topic in English and American centres. But the brake question presents itself differently to English and American minds. The former are occupied with a complication of mechanical problems. They want the free-wheel, it is a pleasant riding device, but they want also to be safe, and cannot decide which of the many types of brake is the safest. In America, where safety takes precedence of luxury, this point is settled. The trade turns unanimously to the rear hub combination coaster and brake. It is light and thoroughly effective. So light that the average British manufacturer cannot believe in its effectiveness, and he still wanders in a maze of conflicting schemes by which to reconcile safety and luxury, and vindicate British solidity.

The American Bicycle Co. have discharged all their old employes in the British trade, and replaced them by a brand new lot who just know enough to bungle things. The Cycle Age accounts for this unhappy policy by saying that the old men probably earned too much money, and were not versatile enough to suit the directors of the concern. Anyway the step is unfortunate. The American trader in Great Britain has to contend against a certain amount of prejudice against foreign made goods, and unless he is experienced in the attitude of Britishers towards the American invader, he will earn nothing but. enmity abroad and reproaches at home.

Latest news received has it that the cycle trade booms in the Philippines, and booms almost exclusively in American machines. Manilla, the city of beautiful streets, favoured by fresh sea breezes, is a delightful place for cyclists, and owing to die privilege granted American soldiers of bringing their machines with them, there are cyclists spinning light-heartedly In all directions.

Bicycle dealers in the States contemplate the adoption of some uniform arrangements in connection with the instalment system. It is proposed that the different concerns enter into an agreement in the matter of the time allowed on such repayments, interest, and amount of instalment per month. Frank G. Roth is at the head of the movement.

The Boers have never got enthusiastic over the cycle—in fact, it is not Boer-like to enthuse over anything. They were afraid, at first, that the bicycle would spoil the young men’s horsemanship, and perhaps cause a deterioration in physique. However, the wheel is used to some extent for touring purposes, although on account of the nature of the country, cycle touring has its stern limits.

Recently particulars were given of the proposed formation of a new Amateur Cycling Association, having for its alleged aims and objects the promotion of amateur cycling interests, prin-pally in regard to racing. The promoters of this proposed new organisation profess to be able to discern the necessity of a body to take up many matters that do not, as they allege, receive proper attention at the hands of the Melbourne Amateur Wheelers, which at present, in conjunction with the L.V.W., lias almost supreme control ol section A interests. It may be justly questioned, however, if these gentlemen are well-judged in their intentions in this respect. In the first place, it is doubtful whether any but a very small minority of amateurs are of opinion that the Melbourne Amateur Wheelers is in any way losing sight of its main duty in regard to their interests, aud, secondly, after the experience of a year or so ago when the V.A.C.U., with its numerous satellites came to such an ignominous end, it is open to question whether it is advisable that amateurism should again he split up after such strenuous and successful efforts have been made lo consolidate the whole into one solid and necessarih influential body.

If, however, amateurs in the main are convinced that their interests are being neglected by the present organisation, then the sooner a change of government is brought about the better for all concerned, and it is obviously their duty to see that this is accomplished by the reorganisation of the M.A.W. Committee of Management, and not by the institution o.f a separate and antagonistic body of amateur cyclists.

The former V.A.C.U. came to an untimely end through its lack of solidarity. The multiplicity of clubs causing an immense amount of friction and jealousy among the members comprising them, and it is emphatically the duty of those professing to have amateur interests at heart to steer clear of such shoals as must again inevitably arise from the course they now suggest.

It is apparent to those intimately connected with the cause that of late a certain amount of feeling lias been evident in regard to the present personnel of the M.A.W. Committee, and the pre- sent rift in the lute is no surprise. Amateur cycling has been on the up grade for some months past and Ibis is due to the careful management and fostering care of the M.A.W. As is usual almost without exception when the officers of a body have successfully combated the initial difficulties of its career and begun to realise some of the benefits sought for, a certain class of individuals are desirous of displacing them and taking command, and il may be that with this object in view the present movement is being undertaken.

If it is apparent that the present administration is defective, just as emphatically should a change in management be insisted upon. The concessions and privileges obtained for amateur riders through Hie instrumentality of the M A.W., however, are surely direct refutations of such a contention, and in Ibis we feel sure all h ue upholders of amateurism will heartily concur. At any rate, come what may, lei amateur wheelmen real.se that “ Unity is Strength,” and endeavour to prevent the disintegration that must inevitably followed (he formation of another separate amateur organisation. It is without doubt the duly of those interested in amateur wheeling to keep its class of members on a high level, but once a num'-er of rival clubs are formed the struggle to attain to a large membership roll will conduce to the inclusion of many members who will in no way rellect credit on the sport of amateur wheeling.

The Parisian police are mounted on cycles now, so the long-lalked-of has come lo pass. They patrol awheel from nine p.m. until one in the morning, and carry each a sword attached to the handle-bar The mounting of the police is a cheap and efficient way of guarding the city.

In response to a number of enquiries il is now staled that the only dependable “quick-repair” chain at present on (he Victorian market is the Baldwin, and the only people carrying a full stock of Baldwin chains, in the two standard sizes, are the Dayton Cycle Depot, of Elizabetb-street, Melbourne. *

Ideal Tyres (A. G, Healing and Co., Richmond) scored a good win at Yarrawonga on May 3rd, when G. '1'. Parnell, of that town, on his Petrel machine, shod with Ideals, was placed first in a road race from Yarrawonga to Corowa and back —a distance of 54-j miles. Amongst (he trophies was a pair of Ideal Tyres. *

The Cleveland Twist Drill Co., says the Cycle Age, have introduced a system of awarding prizes to employes for approved suggestions. The awards will be semi-annual, ranging from $5 to $50, and the idea lias been enthusiasfically adopted by the employes.

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AMATEUR SPORT.

[®entinued fiorn Page ly.)

The Charlton Golf Club opened its season with a twelve hole gentleman’s handicap medal, won by Mr. C. J. Wild, with a score of 67—3—64 net. Two of the scratch players got second and third. Mr. 15. S. Wayland 68 and Mr. It. Green, of tennis fame 69. Following are the scores :—

Handi-


Cross.

cap.

Net.

Mr.

C. j. Wild .....

. ... 67

3

64

Mr.

E. S. Wayland ...

. ... 68

sc.

68

Mr.

B. Green ... ...

. ... 69

sc.

69

Mr

A. E. Nicholls ..

. ... 80

11

69

Mr.

j. F. Thomas ... ..

. ... 82

II

71

Mr.

C. Campbell ... ..

. ... 80

8

72

Mr.

[. C. Pram ... ..

. ... 82

7

75

Mr.

E. Snell .....

. ... 89

14

75

Mr.

E. P. Gilchrist ...

. ... 76

sc.

76

1. O

gburn ... ... ..

. ... 86

10

76

Mr.

D. P. L. Nolan ..

. ... 80

sc.

80

Dr.

W. Rock ... ..

. ... 104

16

88

Mr.

H. Klunder ... ..

. ... 104

12

92

The Charlton Club has a twelve hole course, and now numbers 40 players, 15 of whom are ladies. Mr. E. S. Wayland is hon sec.


3 CHAMPIONSHIPS


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Estam.ishkd 1889.



The Surrey Hills Club has issued its programme for its annual meeting to be held on Queen's Birthday. First day the Men’s Championship and Handicap two rounds against Bogey, scores to count for both events. On the second day the Ladies’ Handicap medal round will be played off, and on Saturday the mixed doubles.

The programme of the NT Championship Meeting, to he held in Dunedin, is to hand. The dates are 14th to 1 Sth May. Three events only will be played, vi/., Amateur Championship of New Zealand, Handicap Stroke Competition and Bogey Handicap. Australians are barred from the Amateur Championship of New Zealand.

11 Drop-Kick ” writes :—1The Football. football season was opened last Saturday in glorious weather, and judging by the attendances at the various matches—notably Collingwood and East Melbourne -the game has fairly caught public favor and promises to have a good run this year. The results of the matches tend to the impression that the premiership is a very open question, as the premiers of last season went down before Col-lingwood, and the nominee premiers (South Melbourne) succumbed rather easily to Essendon, though they are to he sympathised with on account of the serious accidents which happened to three members of their team, and which probably accounted to a great extent for their defeat. In the Association the matches were of rather less importance, and no surprises were occasioned.

At Collingwood the premiers of last season (Fitzroy) opened against the magpies in the presence of a great crowd, the majority of whom evidently hoped the maroon and blues would come to grief, and their hopes were realised. Alex Sloan again led the 'Roys and Condon had charge of Collingwood. From the outset it was seen that the ’Woods were much faster to the ball and got rid of it much smarter than their neighbours, who seemed a long way below their best form. It was an interesting game up till halftime, when the black and whites led by a point, the scores being four seven to four six. On resuming Fitzroy quickly put up another six points and seemed like holding their own, when Collingwood came down with a rush and Condon snapped two goals very neatly, which practically settled the game. At the opening of the last quarter Collingwood pressed their opponents very hard and dropped two more goals, after which Fitzroy pulled themselves together and endeavored to put in one of their determined finishes, but condition was against them, and after they had scored a goal and a couple of bihinds the ’Woods scored another goal through Monarty falling at a critical moment. The game terminated in a decisive win for Collingwood by 10 goals 7 behinds to 6 goals 10 behinds. The result was a dsappointment to the numerous supporters of the Maroons, as they undoubtedly lacked the dash and sureness with the ball of their opponents. Not too much faith should be placed on the result, as it is quite possible that the Fit/.roy team are capable of great improvement, and I shall not be surprised to find them again at the head of the premiership list when the season closes. For the winners, Monahan and Hailwood played splendidly, their marking and kicking being prominent features ol the day’s play. They were closely followed by Tulloch and Condon, who interchanged the positions of rover and centre. 1). Watsford and Brennan, a new man, also displayed good form, and altogether the team performed well. For the losers, Drohan and Robinson on the wings and Descrimes following were die best, though Sloan in the last part of the game was equal to any one on the ground. Dalton, half-back, played a good game, but the majority, including Hickey their champion, were muon below form. Keenan umpired the game in a capable manner and the utmost good feeling prevailed amongst the players.

South Melbourne met Essendon at East Melbourne in the lace of a fine attendance and were hopeful of putting up a good performance. They were not only soundly beaten, but had the misfortune to have three of their leading players disabled through accidents and will probably be without the services of two, if not the three, for the remainder of the season. George Davidson, who was elected captain on Thursday night, broke his leg badly in the last quarter in a simple manner. Robertson, who was playing his first game for them twisted his ankle badly and had to be assisted off the grou id, and Gillian, who was also making his debut with South, knocked a weak knee up and was forced to look on. Stuckey, who had notified his intention of retiring from the game, was induced at the last moment to take his place in the Essendon team and was again elected captain. The game was very even in the first quarter, though South had a big wind behind them.

In the second Essendon fairly took things in their own hands and put up 7 goals to nil, the result at half time being 8 goals 4 behinds to nothing. South played better during the third term, kicking 3 goals 1 behind to nothing, but in the final Essendon again drew away and wound up by kicking 12 goals 10 behinds to 4 goals 2 behinds. The best of the Essendon men were Fitzpatrick, who did great work and kicked 3 goals ; Cavan, Larkin, Stuckey, Hastings, and O’Loghlen ; while, for South, Pleass, as usual, did the lion’s share, ably assisted by Windley, How-son, and Vernon (a new man), and Davidson, till he was injured.

At last, St. KiIda have scored a point or two. They engaged Melbourne on the latter’s ground, and after a ding-dong game, came out with a draw, though the result is disputed, and St. ICilda are appealing to the League for a win, through the umpire allowing a behind after the bell had been rung. The Melbourne were led by Wardill, and St. Kilda by Sandford, late of Geelong. St. Kilda had a number of new men from the Collegians Club in their team, and though rather light to battle through a season, they are none the less smart. Melbourne were not fully represented, but their big men did a terrible lot of work, and saved them from defeat. On their side, M'Guinness was easily first, the next best being Moodie, Cumberland, Wardill, Gardiner (late of Essendon), and Purse, a new rnan ; white, for St. Kilda, Pearce (Wesley College), M‘Gregor, Robertson, O'Hara, M'Kay, Muirhead, and Curran (the last three late of Fitzroy) all played first rate. Freme umpired very well.

Geelong met Carlton, at Carlton, with a rather weak team, and succeeded in scoring a victory. Peter Burns captained the Geelongites, while W. Stuckey did ’likewise for Carlton. An interesting game ended in a win for Geelong by 4 goals 11 behinds to to 2 goals 3 behinds. The best players for Geelong were Rankin, E. Lockwood, Palmer, McCailum, Burns, and Leahy ; and for Carlton, Walton, Thompson, Sharkey, Stuckey, Morrison, and H. M'Shane. Gibson umpired in his best style.

The Association matches did not create any great interest, consequently the results are all that will be necessary. Port Melbourne met and defeated Prahran by 7 goals 4 behinds to

3    g >als 3 behinds. Footscray beat the newly constituted Essendon Town by 8 goals 4 behinds to 1 goal 6 behinds. Williamslown beat Brunswick,

4    goals 10 behinds to 2 goals 8 behinds, and Richmond scored a win over North Melbourne, with 8 goals 6 behinds to 6 goals ir behinds.

W. Davidson, who broke his leg in the South Melbourne and Essendon match on Saturday, had only just been elected captain of the South team. He was one of the fairest as well as one ol the best footballers in Victoria. It was strange that he should come to grief playing against Essendon, in whose second twenty he learnt his football.

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■AN AI5TRALIAN NATIONAL newj paper.


Vol. I.    MELBOURNE, MAY 19, 1900.    No. 4.

HAMLET.—DR. GRESSWELL.    HORATIO.—DR. ELKINGTON.

HAMLET, Act /, Scene IV.


ENTER GHOST.

HOR. : Look my Lord, it comes!

HAM. : Angels and ministers of grace defend us

Be Ikon a spirit of health or goblin damned,

Bring with thee airs from Heaven or blasts from hell, Be thy Intents wicked or charitable.

Than contest in such questionable shape Lhat I will speak to thee.

Cbe Outpost

An Australian National Newspaper.


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LUNACY AND LIBERTY.

Startling as the disclosures are in the case of Mr. Robert Kilpatrick—thrown into Yarra Rend Lunatic Asylum illegally and liberated by the Supreme Court on a writ of “habeas corpus”—they have not been surprising to citizens who have had reason to closely scrutinise the operation of Victoria’s Lunacy laws. Many people have had strong justification to believe that just as gross outrages 11(1011 the liberty of the subject are possible under our most modern State controlled institutions as were rampant in private dens of horror fifty years ago, when Wilkie Collins exposed them in “ The Woman in White,” and brought about a reform of the diabolical evil. This is a most serious assertion to make, but it is made with deliberation, and can be solidly supported.

| Briefly stated, the circumstances of Mr. llilpalnclcs cast: arc these: On tlm Sih May, 18919, M* yopijyquyn^^f., ¡a dispute relative to the ownership of some property, he was arrested at the instance of iiis son, Dr. Kilpatrick, on a charge of trespass, and next day was remanded to


Melbourne Gaol. On the 10th May, 1899, lie was examined by Dr. Andrew Shields, Government Medical Officer, and on the r rtli at the city watch-house by Dr. Sutherland.    He was then seen by

Panton, P.M., and Cook, J.P., and immediately afterwards was lodged in the Yarra Bend Lunatic Asylum. He did not know and had no opportunity of learning these proceedings, and no chance of refuting the arguments and influences secretly applied to have him written down as a lunatic in the eyes of the law. In his own words r “ I was put into a cab accompanied by a policeman. When he had driven some distance, I asked him where I was being taken. He said, ‘ I am taking you to a lunatic asylum.’ That was the first I heard of any charge of lunacy.” Subsequently he ascertained that even the legal formalities were performed in so slipshod a fashion as to be invalid. He wrote several letters to the Master-in-Lunacy ; two to the “ Herald,” one of which was surreptitiously conveyed by a cyclist ; one to Lord Brassey, and one to the Chief Commissioner of Police ; but without any satisfactory result. The Attorney-General was approached next ; but, being guided by the views of his officers, would not interfere. Finally, he wrote to Sir John Madden, who, to his infinite credit, took the unfortunate man’s appeal seriously, and immediately saw that Mr. Kilpatrick should receive every opportunity of having his case re-opened. This he did and, with the aid of Messrs. Braham and Pirani, he brought the matter before the Supreme Court with the result that the Chief Justice declared that the proceedings under which he had been sent to Yarra Bend were “grossly irregular,” and that Mr. Kilpatrick was apparently sane.

Here again is the case of Paul Ward Farmer stated by himself in his pamphlet entitled “ Three Weeks in a Lunatic Asylum ” :—

On the morning of the 23rd September, 1899, I drove up to my house in Collins-street in my carriage at noon, and noticed that the blinds were down. A friend of mine handed the coachman a piece of paper with an address on it, and immediately jumped in on one side and shut the door, while his groom jumped in on the other side, and did likewise, and on the carriage moved. This proceeding seemed unusual, and I at once asked my friend for an explanation. He said :

“ You would not take a holiday, and now we shall see whose will is the stronger, yours or mine. We are going to take you to Kew.”

I said, “ Surely you do not mean that,” and saw at a glance that resistance was useless, as he weighed some fifteen stone, and his groom about twelve stone.

“ On the road out he said, “ 1 did think of sending you away with your nurse.” I at once jumped ax the straw, and replied, “ Do, for goodness sake ; it will mean utter ruin to place me in a lunatic asylum, and you will regret this step.”

“ On arriving at Kew the papeis were produced! and even then I could not believe that it was anything more than a sham business to frighten and compel ine to submit to the wills of other people whose judgment I did not consider superior to my own. However, I soon found myself locked in amongst a lot of other poor fellows, and still could hardly believe that what was going on was a reality.

The fact that Dr. Farmer was only retained in the Asylum for three weeks is sufficient to indicate that his infirmity, if any existed at all, must have been of the mildest description, capable of being diagnosed at once as such by medical men of any knowledge of mental disease.

* * *

Still another case within the knowledge of the writer is that of a Melbourne man of business, who, at the instance of his un-hiifhfnl wife and her blackguardly betrayer, was also shut up in Kew. But his complete sanity \y;#*|t^<j>gi}i$ed-Ijieipflq Jvo ; had been at the asylum an hour, and he was released after the expiration of seven days, the law’s minimum period of deten-.

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tion in an asylum. In each of these instances, selected from a number in which the circumstances are not so clear, although equally questionable, the same story is told by the victims of the unspeakable, and certainly unprintable, horrors of association with lunatics. These are sufficient to turn the sanest brain, and these three, who have passed through them, ascribe the survival of their sanity to the strength of will which enabled them to keep calm in temper and demeanour. They all agree there are other unfortunate patients who should never he confined, and it comes as a striking commentary upon their testimony that the New South Wales Commission, which has just concluded its inquiry into the alleged identity of the lunatic patient, Cresswell, with Sir Roger Tichborne, have declared that, while they do not believe he is Sir Roger, they are firmly convinced that he is not lunatic.

* * *

A system, under which a man may lose his liberty, and the result of a life’s labour, in this revolting fashion, is radically wrong. Apparently, the safeguards provided by the law have by usage degenerated into mere forms, which, owing to the carelessness of magistrates and medical men, are most easily fulfilled. It thus becomes possible for interested and unscrupulous persons, having sufficient motive for murder, but not the opportunity, to achieve their fiendish object ot getting him out of the way by declaring their victim to be mad, cajoling two medical men to agree with them, who, in their turn, overcome the magistrates with what professes to be expert opinion. The callousness of relatives and alleged friends, who exhibit an anxiety to have an obstacle put away in a lunatic asylum, needs no comment ; but that they should be so readily and effectively seconded by medical men, is a grave danger to the public, and a deplorable reflection upon an honourable profession. It will not be denied that not one medical man in a hundred is qualified to diagnose a brain disease, and yet every registered practitioner, from the senior member of the profession to the last callow M.B. from the University, is empowered by law to sign a certificate of insanity ! In the cases quoted above not one of the doctors concerned is a brain specialist. Dr. Shields in posing as such has often made himself a laughingstock, and his supreme test for sanity, “ Do you believe in the Ten Commandments ?” is one of the standing jokes of the profession. Dr. Sutherland is only a very junior member of the fraternity and is not distinguished in brain disease diagnosis. The “ sponsors ” of Dr. Farmer were Dr. Iredell, an ear specialist, and Dr. Grant, a lung specialist ! While the chief qualification of the third victim’s principal “ sponsor ” was that of a jounalist ! It is simply a farce that such men should be entrusted with the great responsibility of deciding upon the sanity of human beings, and ordaining whether or not they shall be subjected to a loathsome incarceration.

So far it has been assumed that, however their qualifications may vary, medical men are, as a matter of course, all scrupulously honourable. Undoubtedly this is the rule, but just as there have been corrupt magistrates, so may there be corrupt physicians, and such a power in then-hands beeomes a deadly menace to liberty. The doctor of weak moral courage is even more dangerous, especially when cases occur in which no fee is given, unless in return for the precise opinion required by the interested .person. It is, of .TRiwse, starvtheory of the law that the magistrates^, will ^    uftw 1 such

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tion, or instability. But, as suggested above, magistrates will seldom take the serious responsibility of over-riding a professional opinion ; and, in addition, since any J.P. may like any doctor adjudicate in such cases, and all J’s.P. are not immaculate, the liability of the law being administered in a foolish, corrupt, or careless fashion is not actually diminished.

The remedy lies obviously in the direction of considerably restricting the facilities of the law. There is no reason in the world why every possible means of declaring a man or woman a lunatic should be available, while at the same time no easy means of refuting the imputation of insanity are provided. The cases in which immediate incarceration in an asylum is imperative are rare, and in those that do occur, the circumstances are such as would justify a not too strict adherence to the law’s requirements. All along the line responsibility of declaring an individual insane should be definitely fixed. The person laying the information should have to do it on sworn affidavit ; only a stipendiary magistrate should be authorised to act upon such information, and the magistrate should only be advised by medical men commissioned by the Crown as experts to give an opinion upon diseases of the brain. In cases where insanity is a tragedy and a shocking sorrow in a family, the last hope is exhausted before a relative is relegated to the fearful confines of a mad-house, and the scruples that are dictated by affection should be insisted upon by law.

The Petticoat in Politics—and the Man in Petticoats.

Editor Outpost : Touching the appointment of a County Court Judge, the “Age of May nth publishes an obviously inspired sub-leader. The inspiration is, just as obviously, the least of its defects. The inference that the article intends the reader to make is that the appointment should fall upon a personage of completely spotless social and moral reputation. The spirit that inspires it is the spirit of the New Hypocrisy. And the base of the New Hypocrisy was aforetime the base of the Old Hypocrisy, and its name is Cant. Thirty years ago in England, and in Australia too, the Whining Brotherhoood ran Christian Piety as a means by which they might earn their daily bread. When the Tired Feeling grew over Christian Piety, and it yawned itself to sleep, the Social Agitator budded and bloomed, and controlled the soft hearts, and weak heads, and loose purses of the land for a time. And then the spirit of Mr. Kipling, and Thomas Atkins, and Red War, strode, all three together, rough-shod over the Social Agitator, and he was done for, for the time at least.

* * *

And now in his place, sneaking after the skirts of the unspeakable New Woman, comes this lisping lily, wearing in its button-hole the large white flower of a spotless life. And it whimpers through the leading columns of the “Age ” newspaper (100,000 daily), that the new judge must be of its own kidney. First of all, who is going to assess the moral reputation of any man in this country ? And who is going, in turn, to assess the moral reputation of the assessor ? And if no one person is going to do it, what group of people ? The sublimely virtuous electors of this great country, are they going to do it ? Or will it be left to the gentlemen who write leaders like the one I am objecting to? Is the assessment to be left to the women of Victoria who have not got votes and want them ? Or to the women of Victoria who have not got votes and do not want them, or to both these divisions of society ? And if to either or to both, how are they going to make their enquiries, and hold their assessment ? And will the leader writer preside ? And will his character be assessed before he presides ? And altogether, is it not time that a censor was appointed for the columns of the great Liberal Bumble of Australian newspapers, to rub a large tar-brush of contempt and oblivion down articles like that of May nth ?

Clearly enough it is useless protesting against the continuance of this idiocy—to give it no harder name—because it is going to continue. But I feel altogether disgusted that any daily paper should descend to twaddle of such a character, and I am indicating my disgust “ in the usual manner”—through the columns of a paper that another man owns. But then, there is no other way of indicating it. And some sort of indication seems to be urgently needed just at present. The Petticoat in Politics is a phenomenon that I personally cherish an objection to, even when it is worn by its traditional possessor, but when that garment is the habiliment of a man, the objection becomes disgust.—Yours,— North Light.

IS IT BUBONIC, AFTER ALL ?

Ed. Outpost.—Although Australia generally is working up a pretty hysteria about the alleged plague, I still feel curious as to certain phases that still cry for further explanation. First : As to the apparent absence of plague patients from London. The docks there are almost lined three deep in rats, and the shipping trade between London and India is of vast size. Yet, no cases, so far, have been reported, and no special quarantine precautions are being taken. Again, promiscuous rats are being discovered about the wharves and warehouses dead, dying, or suffering from this alleged Bubonic plague. Are these symptoms in the rats of recent appearance? Is it not possible that rats have been suffering and dying with similar symptoms since rats ever were ? And are the human symptoms new ? Have any of our physicians, anywhere, or any of the scientific societies kept records that would be available for comparison to verify the cases by elimination ? I know that the plague bacillus is found in the recent cases. But has any physician of RECOGNISED scientific standing, with a previous experience of Bubonic cases, confirmed the examination ?

I contend that these issues have never been determined here yet. And, there are others.

Amongst them, this : Why is it that Europeans only are being attacked here, whilst in Bombav — filthy, noisome, Hindoo-swarming—when the deaths were over 100 daily, not one European a week was attacked. That is not one in 600. And yet the white population of Bombay is extensive. *    *    *

I am doubtful myself because I know something of physicians and their methods, and not one in 500 is capable of making a really scientific diagnosis. And, with all respect, 1 include our local medical-sanitary experts amongst the 499. They have not had any actual consulting work to do for years. Their knowledge of Bubonic plague is book knowledge only. And that, I submit, is insufficient. By all means let us be careful. By all means let us sweep away every tilth spot in the metropolis. But, also by all means,” let us find out in a level-headed and thoroughly scientific manner first what we are all about. And we are certainly not doing that at present.

Scalpel.

“GET THEE BEHIND ME, GOD.”

{For The Outpost.)

Around the whizzing world is closely clinging An atmosphere of piety and prayer,

No hymn resounds, no organ’s notes arc swinging, Yet fervently it rises everywhere,

From the sandy stretches, from the city, from the sea.

For kneeling low on cushion and on clod As chill and still as Death,

We whisper neath our breath,

“ Get Thee behind me, God !”

“ Come not from Thy hidden Home to weaken Our tempered hearts beneath our softening gaze, And with Thy Presence dazzle out the beacon That towards the goal hath ever steered our ways.

Tempt us not to pity, nor to mercy, nor to help, Leave us on the road we choose to plod ;

Lift not Thine eyes and break The hopes we have at stake,

Get Thee behind me, God.”

The merchant’s cosy office is vibrating,

The linotypes are ticking all in time ;

The car von pulpit hoods are oscillating,

The foundries hammer out their rugged rhyme. The trowels are twanging better, like a banjo on the bricks,

The ploughshare whistles softly through the sod, And running through them all Is the heart-thrown, silent call,

“Get behind me God |”

* * * *

The new-born sun arises to betoken The world is stilt coherent or complete ;

The sacred law's of commerce stand unbroken,

The harlot pads her never-ending beat The weak are swept to slaughter or to sickness or to shame,

And balmy sunbeams venture out to find That Progress speeds through space With a doubly quickened pace,

While God is a lap behind.

John Hamilton Yann.

MELBOURNE SKETCHES.

A STREET MUSICIAN,

4


THE OUTPOST,


May 19, 1900.


The “ three legal gentlemen ”—vide Age—who waited upon the Solicitor-General recently to “ protest against the appointment of a certain gentleman” to the vacant Judgeship were ¡—Maxwell, Leon and Eagleson.

The accident to True Outpost's artist, Lionel Lindsay, on Monday last, should act as an awful warning to wheelmen who carry a lamp in the front fork. Lindsay’s lamp was secured by one of the ordinary clamps, and as he was riding down Lonsdale-strect, the clamp worked loose and slipped down, with the lamp, to the fork-end. Then the wick-screw caught in the spokes, the wheel was brought to a sudden standstill, and Lindsay was thrown violently to the ground. The Argus Personal note of Tuesday was wrong in stating that the fork snapped. They were merely bent back. Lindsay was attended by Dr. J. N. McGee, of Collins-street, who still has him under treatment, at the time of going to press he was rapidly improving.

* * *

11 Whelk” to the Outpost on artistic parochialism : Returned from Sydney recently and brought back a vivid recollection of the local indignation at the engagement of Longstaff to paint a Sydney picture. Sydney “ artists ” contend that the work should have been given out 11 locally." I thought Longstaff was an Australian. I said so, but their little shopkeeping intellects missed the application of if and reverted to the "encouraging of local talent.” Many of the endearing attributes the novel-reading public adorned the painter with, the painter never possessed, but I for one thought him of Sydney still cosmopolitan enough to see beyond the sort of tiling that this paragraph is intended to mildly curse.

* * *

The sudden death of a frequenter of the Bijou Theatre, while sitting in Lhe dress circle during tlie performance, recalls the memory of a nearly similar one which occurred at the Alhambra a few years ago. In this instance the visitor was a confirmed habitue, who occupied the same seat with so much regularity that any occasional absence gave quite a shock to the show people, both before and behind the curtain, who regarded him as a sort of Maseotte. At last, in his old age, he was compelled through illness, to absent himself for several nights until one night he reappeared, looking quite in his old form. He drank his champagne, admired the ballet and chaffed the waiters, but got ¡rather dozy at last, and when the curtain fell and (lie lights went out, his life went out at the same time.

The appearance of the little Japanese sailors in Melbourne lias naturally given rise to many more or less far-fetched comparisons between them and the English jolly Jack Tar—as a rule to the disadvantage of the former. But it must not be forgotten that Japan is coming along with giant strides, and must now be reckoned as one of the civilized powers. And in every branch of thought and work she is putting forth patient students to compete with those of the western nations. Take as an instance, Kesato, the eminent bacteriologist. If not absolutely in the first rank, he is very close up. lie may not be, perhaps, as great as Koch or as Pasteur, but he is certainly the equal of, say, Solomonsen or of Klein. Another Oriental scientist of perhaps even greater repute than Kesato, is the Indian Chunder Bursa. His researches in the domain of Light have awakened the surprise and admiration of scientists all the world over, and he almost forestalled Marconi in devising a system of distance signalling. Marconi’s idea has developed into what we now know as wireless telegraphy ; and all its possibilities are not yet exhausted, nor are the possibilities of Chunder Bursa’s light waves.

WHAT HAPPENED TO JONES."

“ Arist ” : You sneer at Chamberlain for attempting to ascertain public opinion on the appeal question by consulting our newspapers. Seems to me another evidence of his astuteness and familiarity with the fact that we arc about the most press-governed country in the Empire. Joe knows that what the papers think to-day most of the people will think to-morrow.

Somebody in the Intelligence Department of the British Army must be reaping a fat harvest. Every incident in the present war has been foretold by the Stock Exchange quotations at least 24 hours before the public received the information of what had taken place. The disaster of Magersfontein was not heard of in Melbourne for live days, yet two days after it took place there was a big fall of all stocks. Similarly the market underwent a big all-round improvement a full day before it became known that Crorvje was cornered.

Young Dempsey, late of Milyempidab Station, near Bondingie, in North Queensland, was rejected as not being eligible for one of the contingents, but making his way to South Africa, on his own, was soon appointed a lieutenant of one of the Natal Irregular Horse. Here he has distinguished himself by capturing two Boers single-handed, after a fair fight, in which firearms were freely used, a third Boer being potted in the transaction.

Dempsey is the man who shot “ Firebrand,” the Bushranger, when he stuck-up the old man’s station, after bailing up all hands in a front room. The young fellow was warned by an old woman, who escaped about dusk, and rode up calmly to the door with a revolver in his belt. As he entered the verandah, with his saddle in both hands, he was confronted by the outlaw, pistol in hand, who ordered him to bail up. Dempsey's reply was a shot from the cover of the saddle, which took the robber in the arm and stopped his game for a time. As Firebrand's twelve year’s “ hard ” are not up yet, he won’t be able to read the account of his antagonist’s pluck and skill in shooting, which seems as good as ever.

Twenty-four Old Melburnians are now “ seeing service in South Africa.

* * *

English engineers are growing enthusiastic over the feat of the late Labram, who made that 28-pounder in Kimberley. The work is caviare to the general multitude, but experts are thinking Labram merits a statue all to himself.

South African Englishwomen affect no interest in politics. Whilst London society is emigrating to South Africa, the Cape Town people are crossing over to America to wait till the war is over. They are swarming into London and purchasing country seats just as the English-Indian Nabobs did 60 years ago.

A scheme was mooted in Melbourne recently by some distraught housewives to open an agency at “ Home” to engage and send out Slavics to this country. But the problem is just as great there as it is here. English domestic papers are full of correspondence wrestling with the question—but so far it has proved one too many for them. And the ‘‘residence in flats” solution is the decadent idea of the neurotic.

William of Germany is now interesting himself in dressmaking affairs. The Lipperheide collection—over 30,000 volumes—of drawings and engravings of costumes is now on publieexhibition in Berlin, and the Emperor and Empress are doing all they can to promote the German dressmaking trade. So far, however, they have diverted little from Paris and Vienna. Curiously enough the Lipperheide collection has been the work of a man.

* * *

Probable that after the African war trouble an effort will be made to induce British military officers to wear their uniforms in public, as the continental officers do. At present the Englishman only wears his uniform when he is actually on duty, and even then, at times, he evades it. Seems to look upon it as a sort of livery. Which after all, it is. The only recent exception to this aversion is the photographic studio. Judging by the frequency of military photographs the retiring officer has spent his time between the camera man and the parade ground.

Behold in me the nation,

Distilled and purified,

It’s virtue’s replication It’s wisdom magnified.

O’er theologic ground I love to lead a jury,

They say my law is sound—

And fury.

ARISTIPPUS.

* * *

Winston Churchill is getting slyly toasted by some London critics for the way he is using his war correspondent’s billet to advertise the Churchill family. Recently he wrote to the Morning Post:—"Lady Randolph Churchill has been untiring in her attention to the management of the hospital ship, “ Maine,” and I impartially think that her influence has been of real value to all on board.” The italics are not in the original. They show how much must be forgiven to this young man in a hurry on account of his youth.

When Lord Lamington insulted the federal delegates and expressed the wish that the decision of the people of Australia should be interfered with by Great Britain, Dickson, the apostate, defended him by saying, “ he doubtless spoke on the advice of the Queensland Ministry.” Ever since he capitulated to Chamberlain, Dickson has imagined himself, not the representative of the Queensland voters, but of Premier Philip, who recently refused in the Premier’s Conference to stand by the verdict of the Australian people.

* * *

The Argus turns savagely on the courageous Kingston for insinuating that certain advocates of the Chamberlain amendments are actuated by selfish motives. It forgets that these insinuations only come after weeks and weeks of slander on the part of certain Australian indignitaries to the effect that Barton and Co. are a set of designing lawyers seeking to keep fat briefs at home.

T W O W A Y S OF DOIN G I T.


HE: WE CAN’T MARRY IN POVERTY, DARLING. AND I SEE NOTHING BUT POVERTY BEFORE ME AT PRESENT. UNLESS THE STATE WILL DO SOMETHING TO HELP US POOR DEVILS OF PAINTERS. SHE : WHY NOT AGITATE FOR AN EXPORT BONUS ON THE PAINTINGS OF AUSTRALIAN ARTISTS. THAT WOULD HELP AWFULLY.


May 19, 190o.

Editor Outpost.—In your last issue “Nytivel” makes several charges against the A.N.A., including one against Watt for sitting at a committee-table under the chairmanship of a G.P.O. official. Surely a politician is entitled to be a member of a friendly society without stipulating that lie shall always occupy the highest position. On the other hand a G.P.O. official, if his abilities warrant it, is entitled to any position that the suffrages of his fellow-members may place him in. Let “ Nvtive ” nurse his innuendos until they have grown into a specific charge strong enough to stand in the raw air of a public enquiry.—D.

Chamberlain says that the federal referendum did not indicate unqualified ratification of every detail of the Constitution, and the Argus supports him by saying that separate endorsement of each clause is impracticable. Such statements are perfectly true, but they are also utterly barren, and from them no right to violate our Constitution can be deduced. The same line of reasoning could justify any amendment short of rejecting the whole Hill. Taking advantage of the popular absorption in the war and the plague, the Argus and other renegades from the Hill are indulging in rare scholastic jugglery. They declare that since the people have only said " Yes” to the measure as a whole, we and our small coterie of followers have the right to say what parts the people would have said “ No ” to had they been asked.

Sydney Daily Telegraph bursts regularly into a fit of hysteria whenever it reads that the base designing politicians of Victoria are making a move to accommodate the Federal Parliament. The attack was extremely severe last week when it learned that McLean was prepared to spend ^20,000 in fitting up suitable apartments. '‘See,” said the infuriated editor, " the spider is spinning a gaudy web to catch the federal fly. Victoria intends to make the Federal Parliament so comfortable that they will never leave lor the bush in

N.S.W., and thus our province will be cheated of its just right—the Federal Capital.” Nothing would please the Sydney Ü.T. better than to learn that Victoria intends to locate the first Parliament in an unused shed at the slaughter-house.

Editor Outpost.—“ Nytive’s ” charge that the A.X.A. Hoard have deserted the Commonwealth Hill is as true as vigorous. If there had been a spark of leadership in them they would have accepted Deakin’s demand for a demonstration in favor of the measure. But the Board’s idea of leading public opinion is, first to follow it until certain of its direction, and then rush madly to the front claiming all the credit at the finish and declaring that they were the leaders from the beginning. It was only after the greatest pressure that they took up the Bill in the doubtful days of March ’98. Fact is that as a national force the A.N.A. h as consummated, and, as Meredith says,

“ God help the man who has consummated.”— Axtxsthenes.

A Melb. pressman relates a tale regarding an A.N.A. politician who aspired to a portfolio in a Ministry designed to supplant the Turner Government about 12 months back. Rumors of an impending want of confidence reached the newspapers, and as the A.N.A. man's ambition was known, he was guessed to be one of the leading conspirators. Consequently the reporter hurried to the small suburban shop in which he spent his unparliamentary hours. He found the Minister in hopes dusting his stock and, on making known his business, lie paused and.outlined avigorous policy, leaning over the counter and gesticulating wildly.

What is wanted is a Treasurer—a business man, with a thorough grasp of finance—a man like myself who is accustomed to performing intricate and complicated negotiations, risking large sums of money, a man who is not embarassed with power, but who in his daily toil has conducted transactions whose magnitude would appal—” At that moment a smail boy entered the shop and tapped noisily at the other end of the counter.

1 ^ snapped the prospective Treasurer, “ what do you want ?” The boy extended a grimy fist, Can yer give us change of sixpence, mister.”

I he shopkeeper dragged at his till with a bang, glanced at the contents and replied, “ No, we haven’t got it.”

THE OUTPOSt.

People who live in glass houses, or flirt in transparent conservatories, ought to be careful there are no prying eyes about when they begin to talk sentiment in earnest. At a recent ball a loving couple, who were enjoying a sitting down waltz, over a bottle of fizz, in a dimly lit conservatory, became so animated in their discussion that they forgot all about the observant promenaders outside, who were attracted by the interesting spectacle and taking notes for future reference. Unfortunately, the wife of the imprudent lover was one of the spectators of the whole pioceeding, and began to talk wildly about divorce. " I wouldn't have cared so much,” she said, "only that I saw him kiss that woman on die neck and arms, and I think that is so awfully vulgar.”

The wife of a provincial medical practitioner had occasion to divorce her husband. But she bore him no malice on that account. And when in due time she decided to marry again, she wished to bid him to the marriage feast. The second husband however objected, and the first husband was not among the guests. This was unwise. A few felicitous remarks from his predecessor in support of the main toast might have cheered the banquet up considerably.

It is the commonplace of idiom that of the brothers Isaacs, the late Attorney-General possesses the brains that his brother Jack doesn’t. Brother Jack, speaking in Parliament some time

5

back, introduced in evasive metaphor, a practical application of the “ conservation of energy.” The late John Hancock interjected, irrelevantly as usual, “ It won’t do, Jack. Your father conserved all the energy of his brain on your brother and left none for you.”    *    *    *

Lord Laminglon, who has hitherto preserved a silence in public affairs, suited to his intelligence and the requisite impartiality of a provincial governoi, makes a most egregious blunder in his comments on the Bill. The people of Australia having given such an overwhelming verdict in favour of the measure, and the movement for its amendment being supported only by a small and interested coterie, his lordship in aiding and abetting that coterie is guilty as a governor of participating in faction politics. Because the delegates, with the exception of renegade Dickson, ask the Imperial Parliament to endorse the decision ot our people, he accuses them of attempting to draw upon British generosity on the strength of our recent patriotic assistance. Being untrue, the statement is despicably mean ; but even if it were correct the question becomes : Which is the nobler and more justifiable : to plead for the acceptance of the Bill on the strength of our ingrained loyalty to the Mother Country ; or, by asking for its amendment, to thereby assume that neither the loyalty of the Australian people and their representatives, nor the ability and integrity of Australian judges are sufficiently certain to dispense with the necessity of aiteringtheir deliberately framed and deliberately accepted constitution.

I leave rrvy


me


6


THE OUTPOST.


May 19, 1900.


reputation behind

W. A. WATT, POLITICIAN.

As a Minister, the only duty which Fink performed was to read the names of the new Administration. It was unanimously admitted to be the most humorous and interesting speech ever delivered by the learned member. The House, as usual under such circumstances, was mostly disappointed on the Right, and wholly cynical on the Left. Although a smile greeted the name attached to each portfolio, it broadened into derisive laughter at the announcement of William Shiels and William Watt. They were the surprises of the Cabinet : the former because he was so thoroughly known, the latter because lie was known so little. In fact the query, “ What's Watt ?” still continues, and on the strength of it we give the following answer :—

A friend and supporter once ventured the jest that “ if Watt had not been a politician he would have been a prize tighter.” Physically there is every sanction for the remark. Thick, well set and big boned, he has all the raw material for exercise and hard labour to transform quickly into a solid athlete ; while his head, il cropped according to the traditions of the ring, would undoubtedly give him the appearance of a typical pugilist. The eyes are deep set and thoughtful, the nose too small for the expansive obsidian face, the brow broad and reflective, while the heavy jaw is savagely indicative of a lighter.

Whether he is best suited for lighting under the parliamentary rules of May, the military rules of Bismarck, or the prize ring rules of Barry Foley is not for me to say, and was a matter for chance to determine.

If biographer Smiles had been catted upon to write a sketch of Watt tic would have headed it “ From Baper Boy to Postmaster-General,'’ and, saving the recent affair Jardine, would have cited the P.M.G.'s. career as an example of what is possible to youthful followers of industry and early rising. The present scribe, however, believes that to draw morals and examples from living men is risky at all times ; but when they happen to live near at hand, and follow the profession of politics, it is positively dangerous. Moreover, in a country where almost every public man is selfmade- where nine out of every ten Ministers and ex-Ministers have been either grocer's boys, butcher's boys, or school teachers—ii is nothing out of the way to mention that Watt is a self-made man, or that at one time he sold newspapers.

Born at Kyneton in 1871, tie went as a five-year old to North Melbourne, where he has resided ever since. As a youth in his secular walks he earned the reputation of a plucky and persistent fighter, willing to meet anything twice his size, and hang to tire last shreds of respectability, which in boyhood are very limited. At the same time he was no less noted for the many prizes won at die Wesleyan Sunday School—a youthful prototype of that people whose gospel comes alike from tiie Mauser and the Bible. Following the calling of a clerk, his first ambition was the bar, but, tailing to matriculate, he abandoned the idea of law and took to politics. He acquired the art of public speaking from the A.N A. debates which he originated, and from which he has derived many of his qualities and most of his defects. The practice of discussing Empire politics, and great constitutional and social problems in the space of fifteen minutes, is responsible for his occasionally compact and concise utterances. The same period given to a question that could reasonably be packed into a sentence, is responsible for his frequently vapid orations, and has gained him a contemporary’s comment to the effect that he is the most sententious politician who has ever orated from a dictionary. Hancock used to call him “ the member for rounded periods,” and lie had this failing, though perhaps not to the same extent as his confrere Cook. But there is a deeper demoralisation in the public character of the P.M.G., which is a result of too much A.N.A. debating I refer to that economy of conviction, the want of stability in political and general principles, which comes from the practice of speaking either for or against one’s beliefs. The A.N.A. in its “ toss for sides” system of debate is, far rom assisting its objecl of uplifting the national character) in reality turning out on to our public platforms an army of speakers whose utterances are but the hollow echoes of devitalised convictions. This quality of mockery is twice cursed, it harmeth him who speaks and him who hears.

In the case of Watt we see the evil exhibited, amongst other instances, in his attitude towards the Rev. Wheen and the Victorian Contingents. As

leader of the Art Union movement ire went to Port Fairy last year and made a brilliant speech in defence of the gigantic gamble, buc for the mere sake of scoring a point in debate, he made a most serious and unfounded charge against a religious body and a reverend gentleman. Without taking the trouble to verify his facts, but relying only on evidence sufficient only for tournament debates, he continued his charges in the Press, and made a series of polysyllabic barbarisms do duty for solid argument. Some months later, when the import-tance of the local Wesleyan vote began to dawn upon him, he made a humble if not graceful apology. No new facts had come to light, he simply realised that the word of a reputable clergyman might possibly be as good as iiis own. It was the old leaven so ill-suited for anything other than the puff pastry of debate. Recently Mr. Watt has been voting against the Art Union, giving as an explanation the hostility of press arM public. In fact so readily does the P.M.G. trim his satis to suit each gust of paper criticism that a cynical pressman, after reading the Agr, offered to bet that Watt would back down over the Parker case. He won the wager.    .

Watt opposed the sending of the first contingent, and described it as a “ wretched business,” calculated to injure the peaceful Australian people by introducing a military and war-like spirit. He thought the money would be “ practically thrown into the sea,” yet when he became a member of the Cabinet he not only acquiesed in their decision to send another contingent, but toured the country delivering jingoistic speeches in its favour. Nevertheless, his faculty for getting into untenable positions lias not lost him even the flattery of the Press, all of which would be difficult to explain, but for the simple fact that the papers love not Watt the more, but Barker and Prendergast less.

Why he was included in the Cabinet is still speculated upon, though the reasons are fairly simple. Partly because his youtlj would be a set-off to the senility of the others, partly because his Liberal views might be an answer to the charge of Conservatism, in a measure because lie is really possessed of ability, but mainly for the reason that he had not declared whether lie would vole for or against McLean. To the messengeis employed during his illness be gave no decided party answer, and probably was not certain himself which side he would take.

As a speaker his first-and last characteristic is confidence, and it is not, as some suppose, an evolution due to public success, but rather a modification of his former egotistical excesses. As a phrase maker he is often happy and effective, though his attempts at epigram are invariably forced, and his metaphors coarse, mechanical and exaggerated. He often lacks that dignity and calm repose ou the platform which marks the cast of wiser politicians, and is sometimes given to brutally vulgar epithets, as witness his attack on Peacock. Still the platform is his forte, and under favourable conditions he can always impart a magnetic thrill.

His ideal of a politician is a compound of Disraeli and Gladstone, with a dash of Edmund Burke and Patrick Henry . but he is content to frame on Deakin as an intermediary model. By the aid of a little choice flattery the artful Alfred has succeeded in nobbing the young debater, and had the mentor been at hand when the lean McShiels was tempting him with a portfolio the pupil would have refused.

In criticising a poet we justify subsequent censure by preliminary praise, because poets are, or should be of the sensitive order ; but with a politician we justify subsequent praise by preliminary censure, because politicians are, and should be, fitted with the hide of a rhinocerous. So be it with the P.M.G. I have painted him as men like Watt

and Cromwell wish to be painted—with all their warts or not at all. The statement of his virtues will come therefore with all the greater force. Though young he is remarkably cool, even in the most exciting emergencies. Had he thought for a month he could not have treated Mrs. Jardine better than to have contemptuously laughed and walked away. The real reason of the lady’s annoyance was not that Watt closed the door in her face but that he did not give orders for her arrest. This was the only hitch-in the rehearsed melodrama. The heroine was to have been cast in a dungeon by the heavy villain. Cavaliers of the quill were to have tilted in the Press on her behalf, the whole to conclude with a stirring appeal to the public for sympathy—and a subscription. The greatest joke of the whole affair was when the staid old Mother Grundy Argus took up the cudgels on her behalf.

Though a stern fighter no man is Watt's personal enemy and many are his friends. Open-heartedi sociable and obliging, he is the best of companions' Inside he is a lover of chess, whist and the cue i while in fine weather he affects the cycle and the cricket pitch.

In a Cabinet containing so many fossils it would be irony to say he is the most promising member, but he is certainly the best. He has not the culture of Shiels nor the urbanity of Irvine, but he yields to none in construction and resource, and possesses a platform power unknown to them all. His faults are many, but they are not so much of the man as of his youth, and, when the only corrective to that failing has arrived, he will doubtless be found high in the honour of his countrymen.

MR. CHARLES ARNOLD.

AT HOME AND ABROAD.

When the artist and I dropped in upon Mr. Charles Arnold the other day he was enjoying an after-dinner cigar, in which recreation, at his, invitation, we shortly joined him. We had not the usual designs of the theatrical interviewer, alert for tit-bits from their victim’s personal life, but took Mr. Arnold as a traveller, and above all, as an acute observer fresh from the Transvaal and the stirring scenes of the present war.

“ We were playing in Pretoria,” he remarks, “ all through the closing days of peace, and no outsider would have supposed that such big business as war was coming along. I was daily at the Pretoria Club, a well appointed establishment like your Melbourne Club, and there 1 met the very best class of Boers —the Burghers, whose style and manners are just those of the English or any other gentlemen. In the billiard room young Boers were playing, and occasionally you would catch a snatch of “Soldiers of the Queen,” whistled or hummed between strokes.”

“There was no anti-British feeling apparent then ?”

“ It didn’t come my way. Why in “Hans the Boatman,” which I put on a week or so before the war, we sang “ Tommy Atkins,” and the Boers used to join in the chorus. We had President Kruger in the house one night, too, and he seemed to enjoy himself. He is a fine-looking old fellow, and his people swear by him. The Boers themselves never do anything in the way of acting, but they patronise the shows that come along. Their theatre at Pretoria is about half the size of the Princess, and £100 a night at 10s., 7s. and 5s. is good average business.”

“ But i he war cut your season short ?”

“Yes, on October nth my friend, Mr. Menzies member for Pretoria, said to me at the club, 1 You'll have no house to-night, Arnold !’and looking out of the windows at the excited people hurrying to and fro, leading ponies, buying bandoliers, biltong, and all the necessaries for campaign, I too realised that no stage show would for some time attract this race. A stroll along the t:''cc!s soon showed how well prepared the Boers were for war. From every direction came in Field Cornets with their detachments of men, and at the railway station truck after truck was loaded with “Long Toms” all ready for despatch to Natal. Seeing biltong for sale 1 bought a specimen, and here it is. You see it looks like ling fish, but it is really flesh, game, etc., dried with the blood left in. It is meat and drink and, chewed like a quid of tobacco, it forms a juice in the mouth like soup. Here is another relic, a Boer hunting crop made from the leg of a blue stork. It's quite Japanese in quaintness, isn't it ? And here’s a dandy Kaffir's walking stick, with its net-work of coloured beads made by his best girl. These are all mementoes of that eventful last day in Pretoria.”

“ You cleared out at once, then ?”

“ Oh ! yes, I managed to book a compartment for the company, about twenty of us, through to Port Elizabeth. It’s a three day’s journey, and I packed a big canvas bag full of fruit, etc., to refresh us on the way. But at Johannesburg our carriage was rushed by a crowd of refugees, and one of them made a mattress of my fruit and reduced it to a pulp. However we got through all right and did good business in Cape Town, when the place was full of troops. Martial law was proclaimed and the people all had to be indoors at n o'clock, so our show was timed to finish at about 20 past 10. Our company had permits to stay out later. While we were at the Cape news came of the relief of Ladysmith. Newspaper extraordinaries were frequent, of course, and everyone knew when a' fresh one was out by the toot, toot, toot of a steam whistle from the newspaper office. Here is an extra I gave a penny for—

“CAPE NEWS.”

EXTRA SUPPLEMENT.

LADYSMITH RELIEVED.

“ That’s all.”

Just here the artist finished his sketch and little Miss Edna Arnold, the dainty little heroine of“ An Empty Stocking,” tripped in to get her book of fairy tales by Andrew Long. In private life she is just simply a little girl, who does not betray a single sign of ever having been behind the scenes in her life.

“ Once in an American State some goody-goodies,” remarks Mr. Arnold, “ summoned me for having her on the stage. 1 appeared and explained to the Court that her performance simply consisted of sitting on my knee prattling. The case was dismissed and the magistrates said it was a pity that a few more fathers did not spend their evenings with their own little daughters on their knees.” Incidentally Mr. Arnold mentioned that he was born in Switzerland and not the United States, as stated in other quarters, although he got to New York at an early age and was brought up and educated in one of its suburbs.

I remark on the excellence of his company, and how reminiscent Mr. Frederick B. Sharp is of Titheradge as he appeared years ago in “The Professor.” It leads to local reference to the London Comedy Company, Fred Marshall, Arthur Garner, Herbert Fleming, Annie Mayor——.

" Annie Mayor ! exclaims Mr. Arnold, " why 1 met her in South Africa, resting. She made a fine reputation in New York when she left Australia.”

“ Australian theatrical taste seemed to be more elevated in her days.”

“All I” says Mr. Arnold, “you say that because the modern London plays have not caught on here as well as they might. But that is not the fault of the public so much as the plays. You see they are written for a certain class, the educated fashionable section of London society, who are sufficient In themselves to fill a theatre every night all through a London season. Here your population does not provide enough of such people to fill a house for more than a week. An Australian audience consists of every class' —those who like a touch of melodrama, those who like smart epigrammatic plays, those who like pure comedy, and so on. To please all these and keep them pleased you require a class of play very hard to get. Dramatists don’t write them often enough. 1 wish they did. No, don’t blame Australian audiences, they are as good as the best in the world.”

"Well you ought to know. Tell us, though, have you anything else in the bag as good as “ Jones ?”

“ As good ? Yes, but not in (he same way. One or two things I hope to put on are splendid in their way, and 1 particularly wish to stage a piece called “ Yesterday” in Melbourne for the first time anywhere in the world. It is very pretty and very powerful and has received high praise from eminent critics who have read it.”

“Will we see "Hans, the Bootman ” again ?”

“Yes. I think so, but without the dog this time. The dog I first showed with here died of old age in South Africa live years ago, and another one I trained died in the same place of Cape malaria during my last Irip. But really the dog is not indispensable, and, indeed, the Daily Telegraph critic, Clement Scott, told me once that lie thought the play much better without it.”

At this point a message came summoning Mr. Arnold to the theatre, and we thus terminated a very pleasant hour with one of the most genial comedians who has ever established himself in the hearts of Australians.

Garrick.

The Sirdar's alleged callousness to war correspondents was motherly tenderness, compared to Von Moltke's. Narrated that on one occasion (he Field-Marshall sent for the most insistent of the war specials and spoke him tbusly :—“ Mr. Wire, on suet) and such a day the Army will do so-and-so. If that appears in your paper you will be shot.” The rest was silence. Which heats Kitchener’s famous “ Now or never” ultimatum before Fashoda.

NEXT WEEK:

SIR MALCOLM M'EACHARN

AND

WALTER WITHERS, PAINTER.

At sleight of hand 1 beat them all From Beersheba to Dan—

Just watch me turn this pint of beer

Into a thirsty man.”

The barman said," That turn was old

Before the Flood began.


never neglected opportunities.

Just then the chairman raid there would bean interval.

For drink.

The Patrons of Art laughed. A large man in a military uniform commenced eating sandwiches at the trestle. He wore a sword. I asked my friend if he was a military model. My friend said No. He was an undertaker. 1 questioned why he wore uniform. And carried a sword. My friend said, "God knows.”

Then the Chairman said he would not make a speech. It was usual on such occasions for the chairman to say a few words ?

(Another reminiscence of a rechabite concert).

But he would not. He felt diffident at being in the chair. Painting and Architecture were Sister Arts. He had often noticed, with regret, that sculptors in placing statues frequently used incorrect pedstals.

The red-headed young man raised his head from the shoulder of the black-headed young man, and said " Blimey.”

A little chap with a black-and-white necktie and an opal pin, glared across fiercely and said, “ O ! chuck him out 1”

The chairman looked round and hesitated. He clearly felt uncertain. Then he went on again.

His own addiction in art was music. Music was a Sister Art of Painting. He had worshipped Music for many years. It thrilled his soul. For thirty years lie had wielded the baton.

He led a choir.

The red-headed young man leaned over to the bar and said, with astonishing clearness, “ I’ll take warier.”

Someone came over to our group and offered to tell us about a wonderful dream he had had. The Australian inventor of the Poster Girl said we would have drinks first. The dreamer went away.

Then the lights went out.

Everybody said “ Oh—h—h !”

The voice of the Australian native who had been telling a Highland story in a Lowland. Scotch accent arose out of the gloom. And the burden of his speech was that we should now have some living pictures. After the old masters.

He exhibited five.

Everybody laughed.

That puzzled the Australian native. He stopped and had the lights turned on again.

Then someone made another speech, and three cheers were given for the C.I.V., and the Queen.

Then a mercurial person sang a Scotch song with great abandon.

i asked my friend who he was.

He said he was a great Irish artist.

I asked what an Irish artist was in this country.

He said he painted Australian pictures in an Irish manner.

Then we all sang the National Anthem.

North Light.


TWO LIGHTNING CHANGES.

LEGAL LUMINARIES.


A “HIGH LIGHT.”


8


"THE OUTPOST,


May 19, 1900.


AT AN ARTISTS’ SMOKE NIGHT.

They sat in rows of chairs facing a platform. If looked for all the world like a Rechabite concert.

Only they were smoking.

An Australian native was trying to tell a Highland story in a Lowland Scotch accent. He seemed a very industrious man. The people sat in the rows of chairs and laughed. The performer seemed embarrassed Perhaps it was a serious story.

Outside in the gallery a number of men lounged about smoking, chiefly cigars. A few had pipes. One man held an unlit cigarette in the corner of his mouth so that it drooped negligently. I noticed later that he was wearing a velvet coat.

1 asked my friend where the painters were. He . said 1 le would go and find one. As he disappeared a young man with a full head of hair stood on the platform and sang a tenor song. He kept his hands in Ibis pockets all the time and looked very indifferent. The song was about the sea sobbing mournfully upon the beach and a dear lost love that would return never, never more. Pieces of the air seemed to get sawn off and drop over at intermittent top notes, and then the despairing lover behaved as though the sand had got down his neck.

Then my friend returned. He said he had found the painters. 1 asked him who the other people were. He said they were the Patrons of Art, bank clerks, master printers and dentists. Would I have a drink ?

We edged along the side of the wall and reached a trestle counter. A very tall young man in red hair had his arms round the neck of a fewish-looking youth. He was whispering thickly in his car. Some one caught him by the coat tail and told him to shut np. He turned round with an affable smile and said, “ Cerralnly of chap.'’

My friend’s eyes sparkled. “ Jove,” he said “ there are three more."

"That’s live painters," 1 said.

He gathered them together and Introduced me.

A young man with a sad face and a tender light in Ills eye stood near the trestle. Sometimes he smiled, bul there was a reminiscence of sweet sorrow in il that conjured up memories of a sad, sad past that had come out ot a London journal story and yearned to return.

1 asked my friend about him.

He said he was a comic artist. He always wore that sad face. It suited his hair. But just now he bore the burden of a great grief about him He Disapproved of (he War.

1 asked if that mattered.

My friend said it did not, hut the comic artist.

He was an ancient boozer and His nose shone bright and red ; He snatched a pint from off the bar

And to the barman said :

" 1 am a champion conjuror A trickster born and bred.

But I myself have learnt a trick That’s simple, new, and neat :

I simply catch you by the scruff

And touch you with my feet—-Hey presto 1 Pass 1 A ' thirsty man

Is turned into a street !”

W.H.D.

SPEAK WELL OF THE MAN AT THE FRONT.

(For the Outpost.)

Speak well of the khaki-clad soldier,

Who is fighting out there at the Cape ;

For he is the mainstay of Empire And he’s licking crude things into shape.

Of dangers, starvation and hardship,

He nobly is bearing the brunt ;

He’s working to keep up our prestige,

Speak well ol the man at the front.

When Britain was wanting assistance, Because she’d a “ hard row to hoe,”

The man at the front said with fervour :

“ They’re calling for me and I’ll go.”

And true to his Queen he went forward Prepared to take part in the hunt ;

He’s a hero—and don’t you forget it,

Speak well of the man at the front.

Don’t sit by your fireside denouncing Actions that may not seem wise ;

Remember your judgment’s deflected By messages—some of them lies.

The soldiers whose deeds we’re condemning I11 language that’s cruel and blunt

Deserve to be mentioned with kindness,

Speak well of the man at the front.

He’s forging a band round an empire,

He’s welding far peoples in one—

Australia, Canada, Britain—

Will be joined to the Cape when Yis done ;

Our Lightning Express heads for glory,

From the main line it never will shunt,

For the flag of old England is carried By the whole-souled brave heroes at front.

Then honor the khaki-clad soldier,

Though he’s wrong never utter a grunt,

The old motto, nil nisi bonum Applies to the man at the front.

W. G. McKinney.

POTS


AND


in this threatened devotion I cannot hope for the sympathy of Messrs. Arnold and Lohr, nor do I expect it.

“ The Professor’s Love Story,” by J. M. Barrie, which follows “Jones” at the Princess’, had a great London success, and W. S. Willard, who was lucky enough to secure the rights, made a fortune with it in America.

* * *

At the Theatre Royal “ The Ladder of Life ” still fills the bill and nightly stirs big audiences lo enthusiasm. No change is at present announced.

* * *■

“ Beau Austin ” by Henley and Sfevenson is a most delightful drama of the 4th Georgian period.

It was first produced at the London Haymarket by Mr. Beerbohm Tree’s Company on November 3rd, 1890, and was well received. The story is very simple, but lends itself to some very fine characterisation. A young lady has been deceived by Beau Austin, and her lover, John Fenwick, a splendid type of English gentleman, wishes to challenge him, but is forbidden by the lady. He, however, determines upon an appeal to the old Beau's honour, and the scene in which the young man pits his sense of honour against the man of the world’s experience is one of the strongest ever conceived. The Beau succumbs in the words :—

“ Sir, you touched me hard about my dead friend ; still harder about my living duty ; and I am not so young, but 1 can take a lesson. There i


MOD E R N M A R R I A G E.

BACHELOR : WELL, OLD MAN. CONGRATULATE YOU ON YOUR DECISION. HOW ARE YOU PROSPERING ?

BENEDICT : SPLENDIDLY. MARRIED THREE MONTHS—AND WE RE STILL FRIENDLY.


Mr. J. C. Williamson in taking the Alexandra Theatre, and transforming it into Her Majesty’s, evidently intends to do the thing thoroughly. I understand that all the shops in front are to be cleared out, and the whole building reset in a brilliant blaze of light and colour. The internal decorations are to be something dazzling enough to make the old auditorium unrecognisable, and a beautiful drop curtain will replace the awful exhibition scene, decorated with aborigines ; and the abominable advertisement screen that descended in the intervals, will be relegated to the spot where bubonic plague germs are understood to lurk in wait for the reckless rat and the flighty flea. 1 have not made myself curious as to the scheme of decoration adopted, preferring lo reserve myself for the completed effect with its pleasurable sensations. But I would venture the opinion that this newest of Melbourne theatres will never be entirely satisfactory until the gallery, which now overlooks the circle, is brought forward. As it is now the temptation to drop a piece of orange peel, a peanut shell, or something worse, down an open bodice, must sometimes be as irresistible to the gallery boy as are the baldheads of the stall. It is astonishing that such a structural defect could ever have passed the experts who approved it. But good management may be relied upon to reduce this and kindred disadvantages to a minimum.

Among the Alexandra shops to be swept away to other quarters, the only Bohemian landmark is Kanaki’s—a restaurant of classic association, ft was only alive at night and in the small hours of the morning, when gay parties of artists, students, musicians, journalists, and similar convivial spirits would come in and merrily partake of their hot supper of grills, fried eggs and bacon, sausages, etc., with tea or coffee, while detectives looked in occasionally, and fdlcs-dc-joic sat about whiffing cigarettes and indulging in naughty-biographical remarks. Ah, those nights 1 Kanaki’s was always an item on the programme after long soup in the Chinese quarter, a chat with the opium smokers, and a visitation of bars. Whoever got astray knew that the rendezvous was Kanaki’s and many were the jest, epigram, verse and yarn inspired over the savoury-smelling dishes. Some of us have withdrawn at the call of serious work from those scenes of harmless revelry ; some have gone to distant lands where the Parisian element is the rule rather than the exception, and one or two, alas, are dead 1

“ H.M.S. Pinafore recalls many remote memories. As far as my memory serves me—it is a little hazy—it was ¡the first Gilbert and Sullivan opera produced in Melbourne, and it was performed at the Bijou—then the Academy of Music —the Lingards being the principals. There were subsequent productions, a notable one by juveniles, and then the brilliant series—“ Mikado,” “ Io-lanthe,” “Patience,” “ Princess Ida,” etc., put “Pinafore” into the background. Just as “Patience ” was written around the aesthetic craze whose high apostle was Oscar Wilde, “ Pinafore” owes its inspiration to W. H. Smith, of railway book-stall fame, and politically prominent as leader of the House of Commons, First Lord of the Treasury, and Civil “ Ruler of the Queen's Navee.” Smith is dead and so “ Pinafore ” becomes history.

The fact that “What Happened to Jones” continues at the Princess is sufficient voucher for its success. It could hold the boards for the whole of Mr. Arnold’s extended season. But there are so many good things to follow that I almost am disposed to pray that “ Jones” may experience a sudden slump in the theatrical market. Of course | is my hand upon it : She shall be my wife.” But the lady refuses the tardy reparation, and her brother, a hobbledehoy in his wild-oat sowing slagc, determines upon offering his sister’s seducer a public affront. The Beau is equally determined upon not being drawn into a duel in which the life of the lady's brother might be endangered, lie, therefore, spreads the story that his suit has been ignominiously rejected, and that he, the Beau of the age, the invincible, has at last been humiliated by a country girl. So when the angry brother strikes him in the mouth in the presence of a Royal Prince and the fashionables of Tunbridge Wells, the Beau accepts the terrible affront with a courtly speech in which he acknowledges his humiliation and refuses fight. But just when the Beau has thus immolated his lepufalion as a blood upon the altar of honor, the lady appears and throws herself at his feet. i hen the old spirit of the Beau awakes with a beautiful touch. “My dear creature,” lie exclaims in an agony, “ remember that we are in public. (Raising her). Your Royal Highness, may 1 present you Mrs. George Frederick Austin ?"

1 he play is most delicately written and animated with dramatic action. It would be a rare treat to see it performed by the Broughs. It’s success would be assured there being about it that something which makes “She Stoops to Conquer” ever charming. Meanwhile it is thereto be read among the dramatic works on the shelves of the Public Lending Library.

Garrick.

T H E L A S T P R I V I L E G E.

PEDESTRIAN (Plcthoiir old gentleman who has nearly been run down): HI ! SIR. WHAT THE DEVIL DO YOU MEAN! HAVE PEDESTRIANS NO RIGHTS ?

WHEELMAN grinning cynically): YES. BURIAL RITES.

SHIFTING SCENES.

No. I.—“ HUT--.”

Persons:

Miss Ivy Quine.    Mr. Graham Wray.

In a Park.

Ivy (as Graham approaches) : O ! Gray dear, I .am so glad you’ve come. I've been awfully anxious and want to talk to vou about it so much. I don't know how you'll take it. Pin sure you'll be angry, and—

Graham : But—

I. : Yes, I know you’ll say vou forgive me before baud. It isn’t that 1 want. It’s something much more important, something that will affect my whole lile. O ! 1 do wish you would understand.

G. : But—

1. : Don't say that I’m rambling !    1 know I am

I—I—I’m so nervous (plucking at his waistcoat

button) and.......and I don’t know how to tell you, and

(throwing hci tinns around his neck and kissing him) O, you darling, I'm so delightfully miserable !

G. : But —

1. : 1 did so want to tell you, and I'm so frightened. Whatever will poor mama say, and papa'll go mad, and G Gray, Aunt Matilda ! They will think me such a wicked, wicked girl. 0 I if you only could, and only would—

G. : But—

I. : (putting her hand on his mouth) : Ah ! no, no, don’t say it is so sudden, that you are not ready, and it will ruin your career. 1 know all that, and that it’s all my fault. 1 know, 1 know that 1 am wicked, and you are good, and I will have to suffer. Still if only—oh, if—

G. : But—

1. : Yes, 1 know what you are going to say, dear ! “ Marriage is good enough for the masses, but it's not necessary for the moral," “ Conventions are for the commonplace never for the cosmopolitan,” hut, Gray dear, we’re not cosmopolitan, and—and—I’m not sure that we’re moral.

G. : But—

I. : No, no, Graham, don't repent that horrid epigram that “ Marriage to be a success must always come too late.” Is isn’t true, Gray, and if it is, we’re an exception. I did want to say so much to you ; 1 was thinking about it all last night, and now 1 don’t know where to begin.

G. (smiling) : But—

1. : Please don’t laugh at me, you darling ! I know I am stupid and you are so clever, and don’t say any more of those clever things. They make me frightened. Besides they're not half so true as stupid remarks, and you know it isn’t true that a wife is only a bad habit— ■

G. : But—

I.: And husbands only an excuse for flirtation, i know 1 agreed with you when you said them, and that life is too short to be cut in half by a parson—-and—and—

G. : But-

f. : And that marriage is only ostentatious virtue.

G. : But—

I. : O, and Gray, I wouldn’t mind at all about not getting any presents ; I know you think weddings are only popular because they are a cheap way of furnishing.

G. : But—

I. (breathless): Please let me go on. I want to think of everything, so as you won’t have an excuse. No, 1 don’t mean that, 1 mean so as you’ll know I don’t believe anything 1 said you said you believed, I mean anything you said 1 said you believed I said you said—O ! dear, dear, what a muddle 1

G. : But—

I. : Please, please, I haven’t nearly finished yet. I mean that everything’s so different now, and I’m not only thinking of myself, but of you, and mama and papa, and of—of—

G. : But—

1. : 1 knew you would understand. You are so clever, and all that you said and I said, I agreed with seems quite wrong now. And (bursting into tears) O ! Gray, Gray, if you don’t marry me I shall go and die !

G. : But—

I : (Kissing him). No, no, don't decide now. Take a day, a week, a month, a year—No, no. O ! dear what am I saying. I’m so unhappy.

G. : But—

I. : Ah ! Gray—

G. (taking her in his anus) : You silly little girl ! I will say what I wanted to sav hours ago. You shall not restrict my share in the conversation to “But-but-but 1

I. : O 1 Gray. What comes after But—

G. : This comes after “ But." Now hold tight. I've made all arrangements to marry you to-morrow. Here’s the ring !

I.; You darling 1

(Curtain.)

P.M.

TO A FAIR FRAILTY.

A butterfly I saw to-day

Had wandered somehow out to sea

From its bright gardens far away— Questing its fantasy.

And floating idly in the light To some ideal potpourri,

A windy fate in sullen spite Swept it far out to sea.

I watched the coloured frailty Protesting with its fate in vain,

And though in hope I stayed to see,

It came not back again.....

You are a butterfly, my dear—

A colourful thing to love an hour,

A dainty set to queen it here Within a blossomed bower.

Take care 1—for windy Chance awaits Your insecurity ;

And once you flit these garden gates You never more shall see.

MaRcf.l.

roft ~rnc_ OuTpojr

(4.)

With the priz.es and the plunder, bearing back upon the brine To the baking black Tortugas with their woman-folk and wine ‘To the dicing and the singing and the sweet tobacco smoke,

And to break the pride of beauty for the glory of a joke.

Ho 1 once again to taste the toil rewarded joyously—

The rover’s red returning of the Days That Used to Be.

(5)

Once more to see the slash of swords the flash of fuming fight, And the stricken souls go screaming out beneath the staring Hgllf And the fiery-hearted Donnas with their lips of scarlet flame,

And splendid eyes all pride and scorn at the open shrine of Shame. O sweeter tlt;m the shining spoil, love given reluctantly _

By the pf’oud and perfect women of the Days I hat Used lo.Be.


(i.)

Now alas ! for Buccaneering and the fearless, flashing days,

When the world was full of colour and our blood was all ablaze ;

For the hours are bare and bitter, and I'll never see again The days of dashing deviltry, the pride of all the main,

When Harry Morgan kept the coast from the Keys to Carribbec,

And pirates were the princes of the Days That Used To Be

(*•)

Once more aboard the Ranger, as she sailed four hundred toes,

And carried in her belly four and twenty gallant guns ;

As lovely as a woman, and as graceful as a bird,

When the wind came up behind her and the life within her stirred.

And if a sail once hove in sight no heaven could help her flee From the fastest craft a-sailing in the Days That Used To Be

Oh 1 our hearts were light as laughter, and our souls were big and strong, And the lust of life within us as the sweetness' of a song ;

All gay with gallant colours and our blades and barkers shepr.

And all the pride and passion of a bloody Buccaneer—

Sweeping out upon the waters as a swallow flying free,

And glad with all the gladness of the Days That Used To Be

.if

y'./ 4; >, fi _ j

.    Kuhr>- *'

(6.;

So I watch the sea for ever and the sea-birds sink and soar, And the surges ever toiling sweeping swiftly up the shore ;

For we ride no more a-reeving on the merry Spanish main— A terror to the Islands and the Dons of haughty Spain,

A terror to the traders and the ships that sail the sea—

For the Buccaneers are broken of the Days That Used To Be

LAl

My Dear Mceiki,,—You ask me to advise you as to what to get in the way of a useful calling costume for town, 'that is a particularly easy matter this year, as 1 have noticed many well-dressed girls looking extremely nice in what I call the “costume of the season.” This consists of a dressy coat and skirt, made of black or coloured face cloth, light lilting, and turned back with a broad white satin collar, braided all over with some pretty fancy braid. The coats are still worn short and may be scalloped round the bottom with narrow outlines of white satin, or, if turned back with silk, they may be trimmed up the back seams and round the collar with strips of white or gray cloth, finished with fine braid. If you want to be very smart you can have your costume made of the new vieux rose cloth. This is charming, but not so serviceable. Black and white is being worn more than ever this year. A dressy lace front over satin may be worn with this costume. The hat of the season is decidedly a black velvet picture shape, with the brim curling down on the hair at the back, with ostrich plumes and a bright buckle, and the brim lined with tucked mousse!iiic-de-soie, which gives a very soft and pretty effect and is most becoming. Most of the new shapes have the brims lined with a band of white stitched cloth or some other material. The new shape in toques with the jam-pot crown is very smart. The crown must be tucked and the high bows in front have several rows of stitching. You must certainly get a voluminous fur boa and muff either of white fox or some pretty grey fur. Sable is also much worn and always looks nice. 1 have seen some very chic little ermine tippets with Medici collars, worn. These are very dressy, and form a becoming frame to the face. I should advise you to go to Buckley s for furs as they have a large assortment of tasteful and pretty fur goods.

Mrs. Thus. 1,ewers was “ At Home ” to a large number of guests on Monday, 7th inst., to meet her daughter, Mrs. MacDougall, of Qucenscftff, who is going for a trip to England with her husband. Two violin solos were played during the allernoor. by Miss Enid Lewers (niece of the hostess), and Miss Jane Lewis and Miss Flora Grooves provided songs. The extremely warm Weather was again favourable for an “At Home,” for many summer frocks were worn. Mrs. Lewers received her guests in the drawing-room, assisted by Miss Dowers, who wore a costume of pale blue bengaline, with white chiffon vest. Amongst the guests 1 noticed Mrs. S. McArthur in a cream lace body and voile skirt, with toque of shaded rainbow tints ; Mrs. Irvine, accompanied by her sister, Miss Wumliss (from Ballarat), wore a very pretty grey chiné silk ; Miss Turnbull, in a grey voile with large pink sash, picture hat ; Mrs. Geo. Paxton, in grey bengaline, with white yoke covered with guipure lace, and black hat. Miss Beatrice Anderson, who was receiving congratulations on all sides upon her recent engagement, looked very nice in a black coat and skirt with wide satin collar, with blue introduced into the vest, and black hat. Other guests were :—Mrs. $. 1'. Stanghton and Miss M. Staughton, Mrs. and Miss Turnbull. Mrs. and Miss Anderson (Toorak), Mrs. H. Himuertou, Mrs. and Miss Kiddle, Mrs. Grant, Mrs. and Miss Grim wade and Mrs. Battle. Mrs. and Miss Bullivant, Mrs. Greene, Mrs. jas. Murphy. Mrs. Setou Williams, Miss Connie Power.

You will certainly have to learn roller skating if you are to be “ in it’’ at all this year. A large proportion of our entertainments bid fair to be on wheels, and dances are taking quite a secondary position. I hear that with regard to the new


executive committee which controls the affairs of the Toorak Skating Club, there have been “ wheels within wheels,” but this is beside the question. The great advantage of skating is that we are so delight]ully independent of the men ; girls may not dance together, but they may skate together, and it is wonderful how much they manage to enjoy themselves under the circumstances.

The opening night of the skating dub was held in the South Yarra Rink, on Tuesday evening, May <Stli, from 8 to 10.30 p.m. Janet Lady Clarke has consented to be president of the club, Miss Hodges is secretary, and Lord Richard Nevill, treasurer. It was unfortunate that the evening was so wet and boisterous, but in spite of the weather plenty of people turned up, and Miss Hodges, assisted by Lord Richard, had their work cut out in writing tickets for members, old and new. The rink presented a very gay scene when the skating began. Conspicuously pretty and appropriate were the white linen skirts and dressy silk blouses worn by many of the skaters, crowned by a smart toque or flowery hat. Mrs. HoJges kindly provided the refreshments, which were served at a long table placed across the end of the rink, protected by a row of forms. A band played selections at intervals during the evening, and the whole effect was so bright and inspiring that one heard many a longing exclamation lrom the large crowd of onlookers, “Oh, I do wish I could do it, too !” Most of the men were somewhat at a disadvantage, through not having had so much practice as the girls, and il was amusing to see the tyros slump slowly and painfully on to the floor and wait with bland ingratiating smiles which would have done credit to any ball-room débutante till some good-natured girl offered to “ take them round.” Lord Richard, bent double over a struggling beginner, wore the same urbane smile as ever, though I am sure it must have been agonising work. Among the skaters, Mrs. Harry Payne stood out as a very graceful performer, she looked very well in a white linen jacket and skirt, and black toque, relieved with cerise ; her sister, Mrs. Lcmpriere, also skates very well. Miss Hodges wore a white skirt, blue silk blouse and black velvet picture hat. ; her sister, Miss Irene Hodges, looked very pretty in a pale blue blouse and black and white toque. The two Miss Menzies, who looked particularly nice, are very graceful skaters. Other skaters were Miss Grace Fitzgerald, Miss De Jardin, Miss Horsfall, Miss May Harper, Miss Brodribb and Miss M. Brodribb, Miss Noyes, Miss Bullwaid, Miss Thornley, the Misses Browne, Dr. Noyes, Messrs. Studholm, Walter, Templeton, H. Box, Nichol Turner, W. Robb, T. McComas and

H. Wilkie.

There was a large crowd of onlookers, amongst whom I noticed Janet Lady Clarke, Madame De Jardin, Mr. Justice Hodges and Mrs. Hodges, Mrs. Brodribb, Mrs. L. Mackinnon, Mrs. Win. Robb, Mrs. Harrison Moore, Miss Ruby Madden, the Misses Fitzgerald, Mr. and Mrs. Steevens, who have recently returned from their honeymoon, Mrs. Geo. Skinner, Mrs. C. Muir, Mr. Willie Harper, Mr. Harry Ryan, Mr. C. Fisken and many others.

A skating tea'was given at the South Yarra Rink on Friday afternoon, nth inst. Miss Robb and Miss May Harper were the hostesses. The guests numbered about 60. Mrs. Foster Wood stood out as being one of the most accomplished skaters, and also the most beautiful woman present. Skating was kept up tilt 6.30.

Janet Lady Clarke has requested those who are interested in the Time and Talents stall of the bazaar in aid of the Children’s Hospital, to attend a meeting at “ Cliveden, ' on Wednesday, May 16th, at half-past four. One of the chief objects of the meeting is to make arrangements in connection with a skating evening, which is to be held at the South Yarra Rink on Friday, 15th June, m aid of the Children’s Hospital. The public are invited to attend, and the admission tickets will be is. 6d. A large and influential committee is being formed, and Mrs. H. Emmerton, who is one of the chief promoters of the scheme, has every hope of making it a success.

Mrs. Lewis Kiddle’s “At Home” at “ Moul-trassie,” on Friday, nth May, was a very enjoyable one and a large number of guests assembled in spite of the threatening weather, which developed into a heavy downpour late in ihe afternoon. The decorations of beautiful white and yellow chrysanthemums were very effective. Musical items were performed in the broad enclosed verandah, opening out of ihe drawing-room. Songs were sung by Miss Kiddle and Miss M. Kiddle, Mr. Rofe ai.d Mr. Rose. “ An Austral War Song,” composed by a young Melbourne lady and sung by Mr. Rofe, attracted much attention by its fine sentiment and stirring rhythm. MBs Irene Kiddle played two violin solos. The dressing was particularly smart ; everyone had apparently taken advantage of the first really cold weather to put on their new winter things. I noticed many charming costumes. The hostess received in a handsome gown of heliotrope silk, with black lace overdress and cream lace collar and vest. Miss Kiddle wore a pretty dress of grey chine silk, the gathered bodice relieved with runnings of narrow black ribbon velvet. Mrs. Arthur Moule wore a tight-fitting coat and skirt,, the Medici collar, lined with chinchilla, smart black and white toque. Mrs. W. Robb’s dainty costume of vieux red cloth, the jacket outlined with white satin and broad white satin collar, had a very smart effect worn with a black and white toque and large grey boa and muff. Mrs. Norman Armytage looked very handsome in a stylish black costume, with vest and shoulder lappets of cream guipure lace and a becoming heliotrope hat. Other guests were Mrs. Seaton Williams. Mrs. Tyler, Mrs. Geo.. Paxton, Mrs. Alfred Bright, Mrs. and the Misses S.

S. Staughton, Mrs. Alston, Mrs. and Miss Anderson (South Yarra), the Misses Robertson, Mrs. Alee. Oliver, Miss Kiddle, Mrs. O'Hara, Mrs. and Miss Maidment, Mrs. Parbury, Mrs. Atkinson Wood, Mrs. and Miss Carrington, Miss Lees, Mrs. R. Casey, Mrs. Branson.

A lecture on the Boer War, written by Miss Caroline Holroyd, was delivered by Mr. Justice Holroyd in the Masonic Hall on Friday evening, nth May. There was a short interlude concert, directed by Mrs. Jolley. Sir William Zeal took the chair, and his Excellency and Lady Madden were present. Seats in the gallery were reserved by blue tickets for ladies and members of the Imperial Federation League, but I am afraid that most of the poor gallery occupants were “blue”’ in more senses than one. They had been requested to wear evening dress and, in spite of the coldness of the weather, a row of windows were left open behind them, and even after two or three had been successfully closed, some of the men had to resort to the expedient of stuffing their top-coats into the ventilators to keep out the draught. The lecture was most instructive, but oh ! so long ! At the close of the evening the-lecturer led his sister on to the platform and made a pretty and appropriate speeeh in which lie-expressed the hope that the Empire might in future go hand in hand and heart to heart for ever as he and his sister had always done. There were a great many well-known people present, among whom were Mr Justice a’Beckett and Mrs. A'Beckett, Mrs. and Miss Holroyd, Mrs.. Hood, Mr. and Mrs. Albert Miller, Mr. Duncan Gillies, Dr. and the Misses Leeper, Dr. and Mrs. Dunbar Hooper, Mr. and Mrs. H. B. Higgins, Mrs. S. T. Staughton and her daughters, Mrs. Hopkins, tlie Misses Robertson, Mr. and Mrs.. Geo. Paxton, Miss Kiddle and Mr. Raynes Dickson, Miss M. Brodribb, Miss G. Snodgrass, Miss-Lorna Price.

* * *

I hear that Mrs. Fyffe Jamieson, sister of Mrs. Stuart Murray, who has lived in Scotland ever since her marriage, will probably pay a visit to-Victoria next August, accompanied by her husband.

Tne Kew Tennis Club will hold a dance in the Recreation Hall, Kew, on Tuesday, June 12th.

* * *

The annual ball given by the Albert Park Lawm Tennis Club will be held in the South Melbourne. Town Hall on Monday, June nth.

Dorothea.

A DAY’S BUSHWHACKING.


(For The Outpost.)

THERE was a crowd round the station, and Mr. Edmund Strutt, the manager, thought of an idea he liad not used of late. The company alighted with its dilapidated luggage and Mr. Strutt drew out a letter with “Strutt’s Dramatic Company ” lithoed on the envelope, and proceeded to read out the agent’s advice as to hotels. The local small boy gathered round to gape at the actors and listen to Strutt’s ponderous elocution.

“ Furnival and Miss Roxton at the Club Hotel ; Jarvis, Mr. and Mrs. Waddington at the Court.”

,    . . And so on through the twenty names on

the day-bills.

But the little soubrette, new to the business— and Mr. Strutt’s methods—spoilt it all by—

“ But, Mr. Strutt, there’s only eight of us.”

“ Here, my dear,” snapped Strutt quickly, with a smile in his voice and a swear in his eye, “ the others come by a later train.”

Mr. Strutt had cultivated a Commercial in the train who yielded a flask and sandwiches. The Commercial mentioned an hotel. Mr. Strutt decided to stay there if possible. The landlady’s doubts were dispelled when Mr. Strutt was introduced by such an old customer as The Commercial.

Mr. Strutt was explaining to The Commercial how his Denver was superior to Titheradge's when a head peered round the bar door, followed by others. It was the company wishing to see Mr. Strutt.

He had just come to the murder scene and was annoyed at the interruption and demanded the cause.

“ The hotels won’t lake us in without payment in advance.”

Mr. Strutt withdrew himself and company lo an inaudible distance from the bar, and then gave way to his indignation.

“ Preposterous 1 Tell them it’s Mr. Strutt’s Company—Mr. Edmund Strutt.”

“ We did, but the landlady of one place said she had been taken in by the Performing Fleas, and wouldn’t have anymore troupes,” said the comedian of the show, who was spokesman.

“ Have you tried the Royal ?” said Mr. Strutt. They had not, so he advised them do so, adding that he knew the house and could recommend it.

The company—dry, dusty, down at the heels, and still laden with the dilapidated luggage— turned down the street again, and Mr. Edmund Strutt returned to the bar.

Beer made Mr. Strutt very dramatic. He is the best bar-actor in the profession. There are pavement performers, dressing-room comedians—but given a bar and its hospitality Mr. Strutt can perform a repertoire.

This time he was in Svengali and had fixed the commercial with his vinous eye when the head reappeared and Mr. Strutt was called again.

“There’s no Royal Hotel. Been to them all. Must have changed its name since you stayed there None here has ever heard of a Royal Hotel,” was the chorus of grumbles.

“Theatre Royal,” grumbled Mr. Strutt, “you all stay at the Theatre Royal.” Mr. Strutt glared down all remonstrance. They were to sleep in the hall, the treasury was not strong enough for hotels.

“ But our meals,” suggested the spokesman.

“ Didn’t I give you a shilling a piece in the last town,” said Mr. Strutt.

“ We spent that on dinner.”

“ God of my fathers, a shilling on a dinner. I really cannot assist extravagance.”

“ It’s all very well for you guv’nor, you can get beer.”

Mr. Strutt mastered his .indignation with the reserve force of Cartwright delivered, “ Do you mean to be impertinent. Cannot I enjoy the privacy of my hotel without my company insulting me. Here am I working like a galley-slave to get you through and this is all the thanks I get. Some managers would leave you, I don't. I work for you and now—”

He -talked till the company huddled together


caved by his colossal impudence, and then promising to arrange about their teas, dismissed them.

Several of the company had slept in halls before. It was warm weather and they lounged about till opening time. There was a bad house and it was hopeless trying to get any money from Strutt.

The kindly Commercial had sent down beer, and the property man had raised a mutton bone for a property dinner, which served for supper. The curtain was lowered and the stage made the ladies bed room. The men slept on the forms in the hall. Schemes were suggested. The usual notion of forming a nice little company with assistance of somefriendty printer was mooted. One man spoke of trying to get a billet, but he was very young at the business. The ladies were crying. Miss Roxton was trying to raise a shilling to wire to somebody. Every member of the company thought Furnival had a “ sock ” till he threatened to hit the next man who used the word “ borrow” lo him.

There were diversions with rats, centipedes and stray tarantulas, but the night passed.

* * * *

Mr. Strutt early next morning was anxiously interviewing the station-master. He had not the fares to the next town and wanted to be allowed to travel leaving his luggage as security. The stationmaster refused point-blank.

The company—forlorn, sleepy, hungry—stood round waiting the result.

Suddenly Mr. Strutt came out of the office. “ Into the train, boys—first class.”

The company got in. Presently the guard came for tickets. The company referred him to Mr. Strutt, who was admiring the scenery.

“That’s all right, guard—see the station-master." The station-master appeared.

“ You have no tickets ?”

“Well," said Mr. Strutt, with an air of playing an ace, “ What are you going to do about it ?”

“ You must get out 1

“ What are you going to do about it ?”

“ Get out, all of you.”

“ What are you going to do about it ?”

The station-master was a small man, so was the guard, there was no policeman near, the train was very late, so he gave in, blew the whistle, and Mr. Edmund Strutt’s Dramatic Co. was borne on to the next town.    The Stroller.

. . . THE . . . GHOST OF BILJIM.

(For The Outpost.)

The hero of every Australian tale is catted Jimexcept when lie's Bill. Hence this complaint.

The smell was worse than sewer gas, and the editor turned his head to find the cause.

“ What the devil—”

“ Not at all,” replied the visitor affably, “ just an ordinary spirit.”

The editor sniffed. “ An infernally bad one,” he muttered. “ Well, what do you want ?”

“ Would you mind shuttin' the door before I start said the visitor. “ We can’t handle material things ; and what I've got ter say is strickly privut.”

The editor put his hand through the spirit's solar plexus and closed the door.

“ I suppose it's no good offering you a whisky ?” he said, “ You don’t appear to have a place to put it. Have a good cigar ?”

“No thanks,” returned the spirit, “I’m not smokin’ now.”

“Then it wasn’t an eight a bob-er that I smelt so when you came in. Well, what’s yer trouble.”

“ It’s just a bit of a complaint I’ve got ter make. Yer see, my name is—at least it uster be— Biljim. Now, I've bin dead some time—(‘ Ah,’ thought the man of ink, ‘ 1 can place it now. It’s hone-dust')—and blokes keep writin' about me yet. I want ’em stopped. Switch 'em onter Tomdick or Joejohn or somethin’ else. 1 wouldn’t mind so much, but they give me sitch an orful karricter. They’ve married the to about forty diffrent girls ; an’ I done everything but murder. I'm tired. Tell ’em to give me a breeze.”

“Yes; that’s it,” coincided the editor, heartily, “what you want is a good strong brcc/e, and plenty of it.”

“ Another thing,” went on the ghost, *■ none o’ them blokes seem to know much about me, after all. They've called me a miner, a shearer, a sundowner, and a bloomin' larrikin. Why, when threw seven and passed out, Peter turned up his Australian file, and dressed me like this.’'

He certainly did look a picture. He was dressed in a pair of moles, yellow with clay ; regulation miner's beetle-crushers ; shearer's short-sleeved greasy singlet ; a stiff-brimmer ; and humped Matilda.

“Very well,” said Inkpot, compassionately, “ I'll do my best. Excuse me now, old man ; I'm busy to-night. By the way, how did you get here ? It’s as dark as pitch.”

“Oh, that’s all right. 1 carry a spirit lamp, you know.”

“ Ha-ha ! I forgot to ask you if there is any talk of Federation—where you come from ? ’

“ Well, there was some talk, hut the crowd above objected to the mass referendum. They said the other push ’ud swamp ’em. Well, good-bye. I'm off.”

“ So-long, old man,” said the editor. “ Safe journey down,"

“ What the h—1 d’ye mean ? I’m goin’ up.”

The ghost looked so fierce that the editor stepped back, fell over a chair and awoke. He sighed, picked up his pen, and went on with his article on “The Plague—How to Meet It, and How to Treat it.”    W.H.D,

Answers to Correspondents.

N. Kay : If you can do humorous verse and sketches, your price is beyond rubies. Send them along....Penn, Carlton : Yes, we want humorous pen sketches, if they are clean. Draw to scale for i, 2 or 3 column width, as overrunning lakes time. ...Kate B. : Your story is fluent, but shows inexperience. Grown men really do «.of talk like that.....

to other grown men....Friend : Thanks. A paper cannot be invented. It has lo grow. We are familiar with the defects you point out—and others. But compare this number with our first number and you will admit the improvement...,J.K.M. : Rubbish. Lindsay is at least original in his work. The artist you compare him with does one page a week for a paper that has been established 20 years. Lindsay is doing 2 for a paper that has been published for four weeks....F.L., Armadale : If you don’t like the “ Push ” stories, don't read them. They are certainly virile, original and artistic examples of brief fiction and have received commendation from competent critics....Boy : How much do you want for threepence. Our pages are not disfigured with advertisements anyway....F.R.L. : Don’t mind risking a libel if it is in the public interest, but you are clearly working off a private grudge....Dodger : Morley Roberts passed through Victoria about four years ago....Radical : The real objection is that the pro-Boer argumenls of that paper were unfair, illogical ai d vicious. Besides, they abuse Forrest for doing the very things they admire in the Boers. And the talk about the Boers love of libery is all fudge. So are the psalm-singing and claim for pre-eirptive rights in the goodwill of Divine Providence. Finally, there's a war on, and this paper prefers to take the side of its own people. It would do that whether they were right or wrong, It believes they are right....Philistine : Thanks. But the article on Filchett is incubating, and the Men and Manners series is going to be the exclusive work of the Outpost staff....j.G. : Send along more stories and verse....M., South Australia : Blamire Young has pioneered the work of artistic poster advertising in Victoria anyway...Gives: M'Eacliarn is making friends rapidly and his show is a good one. Don’t think Fink has announced himself yet. Events are proving that he was l ight in withdrawing from the McShiels administration, too....Levy,tM. : No thanks ...Fi iendly : This correspondence must now cease.... Dead head: Close season for your kidney...S.T. : So far as you are concerned, yes....W., N.S.W. : Can’t criticise your work. It's unsuitable for us....3x7 : Call in any morning. VV.B. : .Melburnian’s correction too late this week. Next....Jeffrey M. : Held over. Thanks....Glencoe : Too long. Boil it down. British Tories are a bad. wicked, designing lot of people with their FOOT ON THE NECK OF PROGRESS, but we can't affotd three pages for your curse. Cut to a column....The Doc. : Sketch good. Considering the rest,...Drop Kick : Too late. Forced to use other stuff. Try to deliver Monday mornings ...

E.W. : Verse all right ...N.E.W. : Verse good. But we can’t use asterisks 01' blanks. Who is it ? Will print shortly. Glad to hear from you again. Only remember that the G.B.P. is just a great, hungry, uncritical thing that thinks “by concussion.”...Harry Me. : Considering....N.E.W. : Like Browning rather. But good“ like.” Using.. .Polygroove : Limit to one column in future. Sorry, but must consider space.... E.W. : Once Again. Is it Kitchener, or Tim Mclnerney P...B.D., Col-lins-street : Not enough meat. Glad to hear from you again when you have something with more story in H....L.T., Toorak : No room for sonnets. Do not attempt to criticise your verse, but think it is unsuitable for us. H. McIntyre : Pars lack general interest.

The East Melbourne Bicycle Club opened their new rooms at Pkasauce’s Buildings, Collins-strect, last Wednesday evening. Mr. Frank Stuart performed the opening ceremony in the presence of close upon too members and their friends. An excellent evening’s programme was gone through, and during the evening presentations of photos were made to the secretary, captain, and the president.

The Northern District Club held a very enjoyable social last Wednesday evening. The Carlton Hall, Prince’s street, was tastefully decorated for the occasion, and the large number present danced until the early hours to the strains of an excellent string band. The committee are to be complimented on their success.

One result of the free-wheel controversies will be the universal adoption of brakes, and a general lowering of the extremely high gears in present use.—Scorcher.


II EN RY AUSTIN GODDARD.


“ When I caught sight of that frame of photos, I put my hand on my heart, and for the first time in my life realised the full import of the well-known saying, “ What, oh ! she bumps,” said William Chandler, the E.M.B.C. captain, at the smoke night, last Wednesday evening. The members had in return for his past services presented him with an excellent frame of photos by “ Barroni," They will have their little jokes.

I he employés of the Metropolitan Board of Works will hold their annual road race on Queen’s Birthday next. The course selected is from Oamp-bellfield to iDonnybrook and return. As there are some fast riders in the department, an interesting contest is anticipated.

On Queen’s Birthday, Geelong will open the cycle road racing season. In the morning there will be two race;: in the Recreation Reserve—one over a distance of 15 miles for the Massey-Harris trophy, and the other once round the Gardens f< r a trophy presented locally. In the afternoon the locals all attend the football match on the cricket ground.

Trade conditions in the States are distinctly gratifying this season, according to the Cycle Age. It is notable that where last year most sales were effected in 820 to §30 machines, the cycles moving off most briskly (his year cost from $40 to $50. Chainless wheels are retailed at from 850 to 875, and the demand for them varies a good deal in the different States. Labouring men are the cycle dealer’s best customers in some of the States. The American labourer is commonly a well-paid man, with a preference for good wheels, and when work is plentiful, the cycle salesman has a golden season.

Fred Dodge, w'hose portrait appears on this page, is as well-known to the sporting section of Melbourne as the Melbourne Sports Depot of Eli/.abeth-street. Born in 1870 at Clifton Hill, he was educated at St. James College, Melbourne. In 1895, in pursuance of his father’s ideas of modern education, he was sent on a trip to England, France and America. After visiting Birmingham, where he went through Mosely's well-known rubber mills, and gained quite an insight into the fascinating process of turning crude rubber into the finished article of export, he made a thorough inspection of the principal English cycle factories-Then came the tour through France.

When Mr. Dodge arrived in Paris the bloomer was the ordinary dress for lady cyclers and the boulevards were crowded with cycliste’s wearing that costume. After Paris came New York, just at a time when the first cycle riding boom was in full blast, and he says, “ You could not swing a cat in any main street without touching at least three or four cyclists.” A visit to the Sterling Cycle Works was taken before leaving the “States” and the result of that visit is that the only wheel handled by the firm to-day is that of the well-known Sterling Cycle Co. A pleasure trip to Niagara, Bunkers Hill, and a jaunt across The Rockies, to Salt Lake, and San Franciso completed the trip. Mr. Dodge’s hobby is cricket, and any fine Saturday afternoon he may be seen wending his way towards the Melbourne Cricket Ground, armed with a cricket bat prepared to meet all comers who desire to oppose the M.C.C.

He is a finished instrumentalist, besides being an accompanist ; he litis played the violin in orchestra, and until some few weeks back was choir-master and organist at the Congregational Church, Malvern. Owing to illness he was compelled to resign his position, and on notifying the secretary of his resignation, he received by return a letter together with a petition from the choristers asking him to reconsider his decision.

Mr. Dodge is now however convalescent and should soon regain his old “form.” In handling the wheel end of the Sports Depot business, lie has made many warm friends and secured for his firm a character for reliability that no similar concern in Melbourne has surpassed, and which is a good hing for th e firm and an equally good thing for Sterlings.


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Mr. H. A. Goddard, who is in Australia for the Lozier group in the American Bicycle Co., returned from Perth, W.A., recently. While in the West he closed the best contract of his present visit with Armstrong's, of Perth, unloading the shipment of Cleveland’s he carried with him, and taking extensive orders for new business.

Mr. Goddard found the W A. trade more nearly approximated to the trade in America than that of any other Australian province. The people there demand a light wheel, no mudguards, road-racing tyres, and the equipment conventional in the United States. Of Mr. Armstrong, the head of the Armstrong firm in Perth, Mr. Goddard speaks in terms of the highest admiration. He has worked up a large and solid business in the West ; he buys with great discrimination and handles his wheels so that their reputation will make new friends every day.

It will interest the readers of this paper to know that Mr. Goddard has opened in Sydney a factory branch for the Cleveland group of the A B.C., and the campaign he is now carrying on for that Co. is resulting in a wide extension of their interests. Of course, in looking after the Cleveland bicycle business in Australia, Mr. Goddard has had in some respects an easy task. The Cleveland is a dainty wheel, designed with an equal eye toi grace and durability, and finished with a scrupulous care for the most casual detail. It has held for four years ¡n this country the reputation of a high-class wheel. The factors that placed it here first—good management, insistent pushing, and unremitting hard work—are still indispensable to hold a market for it, and Mr. Goddard has furnished these factors with eminent success.

It is possible that he will reside here permanently in the interests of the A.B.C., and if he does, his popularity in every province of Australia is assured. And the measure of his popularity will be the measure of the success of his wheels. The Outpost is grinding no particular axe for Henry Austin Goddard. It just likes him as an altogether companionable, tolerant and tracelled American of the best class, who has made it his business to understand the people of Australia, and who has been eminently successful in that effort.

The motor trade in America complains indignantly of the unfair attitude assumed towards it by some influential daily papers. The Cycle Age cites a case in point :—The New York Herald recently announced that certain motor manufacturing firms would turn out vehicles at lfiodols. each. Such wilful ignorance as to the cost of automobile construction does serious harm to the trade ; the public accept such statements as fair, and are naturally inclined to view the just demands of the motor salesman as preposterous. The same difficulty was some years ago experienced in the cycle industry, when the New York Herald set the trade and the buying public at variance over the price of wheels.

A recent decision of the Supreme Court of Georgia has saved the American Bicycle Co. from some very heavy taxation. In Georgia, the cycle manufacturer is liable to a tax of joodols. on his product, and in the case of a concern handling several makes of machines such a tax would fall very heavily. However, the Court holds that the payment of the ioodots. State license entitles a man to handle any number of different makes of cycle, with a proviso that the machines manufactured last year by the concerns now incorporated with the A.B.C. are taxable separately from the present season’s wheels. Henceforth, however, the one tax will cover all the A.B.C.’s responsibilities.

A movement is going ahead in the Slates just now to consolidate the several handle-bar concerns throughout the country, in order to abolish the excessive competition that exists in this department of the trade. The companies interested have not yet decided whether to consolidate the various patents obtained severally, or to form a singlecompany to operate the different plants.

Among contemporary legal happenings, (he case of the Dunlop Pneumatic Tyre Co. (ling.) v the Wapshare Tyre Co. may be reckoned the most interesting. The Dunlop people allege that the defendant Co. have infringed the Welsh patent in the details of their tyre construction, and several well-known scientific men are occupied on the ease. Mr. Dugald Clerk, expert cycle engineer stated that he had used the Röntgen rays in locating the position of the wires, and that the wires on the Whipshare tyres were placed in practically the sameway as on the Dunlop tyres, the only difference being in the inextensibie quality of the edges. A great deal of interest is being taken in the case, which was not concluded at the time of our latest English advices. ——-

The Chicago cycle trade for the present season, according to the Cycle Age, is likely to lie modified to some extent by the existing labour troubles. Still, the cycle stores individually, expect a larger volume of business than has been the case in other years, owing to the amalgamation of so many concerns formerly trading separately, and this is more or less the case all over the Slates now, since the formation of the big Trust.

Eddie Bald, says the Cycle /Ige, is going to slick to cycling. His association with Tod Sloan naturally diverted his attention from the cycle track for a time, but now he says that he is going into training again, and that he knows he can make just as big a pile of money as ever he did at cycling. He starts training at Louisville, and intends to have a try for the 1900 Championship.

Wallace Tyres and Australian Championships. —A better finish than the Two Mile Championship of Australasia provided, few people have ever seen. The race lroin start to finish was a mast interesting one, and made Victorians all anxious to see-how their champion would hold his own against a man who had carried off World's Championship in Canada. To make a long story short, VV. E, Shrimpton, the Melbourne boy, did succeed In downing all comers, not only in one championship, but in them both. Now, (he little moral attached to this story is that Shrimpton rode Wallace Tyres, and the other cracks didn’t.*

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and under no conditions it it so oppositely applied as to turf doings. The meeting of the South Australian Jockey Club, which was brought to a successful conclusion on Saturday last, amply proves this statement.

Last Saturday's racing in Adelaide finished up a good meeting, the surprise of the day being the win of Martagón in the Fisher Stakes, run over a mile and a quarter. The mare, who is a beautifully bred one, was bred by Mr. “Jim” Aldridge. She paid the handsome dividened of ¿67 8s.

Vcnetla ran a good horse in1 this race, being only beaten a couple of lengths by the winner, and must evidently be a glutton for work, as he came out afterwards in the S.A.J.C. Handicap, over a mile and a half, carrying yst. 31b., and just beating Dirk Hummerhaud by a head. He too paid the nice dividend of ¿9 12s., and with the £250 added money, Mr. j. H. Davis will probably not come home a loser over the meeting.

Another Victorian to score at the meeting was this well-known Indian trader, Mr. J. Gove, who took the Totalisalor Handicap with Promontory, whom he purchased for £ 180 guineas, and he can’t have been a bad bargain, lie always showed lots of pace when Hickcubotham trained him, but 1 fancy “ Walter” found him unreliable and advised his owner to part with him. Promontory was another of the good dividends, paying the nice price of £lb. As Blue Cap II., Lyddite and Stage-light all were beaten by him in this race, and he ran the six furlongs in 1 min. 16 3-51)1 secs., the performance was above mediocrity, and 1 take it as he is a light fleshed horse, he should turn out well in India.

Mentone had not the most favourable weather for their meeting last Saturday, but the attendance was good and there was some interesting racing. A start was made with the Trial Handicap and Kola in a large field was backed down to 7 toe, with the winner Mervyn at evens. The favorite not running too keenly when the pinch was put on was beaten by three-quarters of a length by Mervyn, who carried the steadier of lost. Mb. and ran the five furlongs in 1 min. 6 sec. High and Mighty, who ran third, is hardly as yet strung up. He is a good shaped well-bred colt by Villiers from Hoity-Toity and will win a race before long.

It is very seldom Tom Dempsey makes a mistake when he takes 2 to 1 in a fairish field. He was well represented with Jadoo (by Yule Cake out of Miss Novice) in the Mentone Plate, who landed the short odds cleverly by half a length.

In the Mentone Handicap Carrara was all the rage, notwithstanding he had the steadier of yst. ;lb., but he failed to beat Mr. Wren's mare with bst. 71b., and was beaten by three lengths, with the ever-lauded Adjuster third.

The Sceptre was the medium of a similar (but this time successful) plunge in the Mentone Purse. Others that were backed were Linda y to 2, Token 6 to 1, Bold Boy and Terry sevens and eights. The favorite won by half a length from Emblem and Earlv Light, neither of the backed horses bar The Sceptre getting into a place.

The well-bred Bones, jumping in finished style, won the Steeplechase easily from Stamford and


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Chelsea. The last named is still on the big size and as he is a very gross horse, it will take Frew some time to get him at his best, and then lie will be a good one.

...

Carrara’s win in the Welter Handicap with lost, j 2Ib., hardly compensated the Messrs. Glasscock for 1 their awful bad luck with him since his purchase in Sydney. He is one of th jse most dangerous of all horses, who is always going to do something. One thing is certain, we have not had at Fleming-ton for many a long day anything that show's track form like the black.

The entries received at the V.R.C.' yesterday for the Birthday Cup Meeting are in excess of last year’s list. Jumping, of course, now the winter is on us, will occupy most of our time for some months to come. The Hurdle Race, with 29 entries, has filled well, Wait-a-Bit figuring amongst the number, and his erstwhile mate, So-and-So, who is now in J, Edge’s stable, has also taken a nomination. Wait-a-Bit is just the style of horse to turn out really good over sticks, and if he is only within reasonable distance of his father's (Malua) form, would be dangerous over any distance. Most of the other horses entered are well-known and have raced recently, with the exception of Cranberry, who is more than a fair one.

The same old lot we see every day are included in the Steeplechase lot and it will be a regular suburban field that will face the starter.

* * *

Both the Williamstown and Moonee Valley Clubs have received their fair amount of entries for their separate Saturday’s fixtures, Williamstown taking this week’s and the Valley the following one. As the weights are not out, I ought not to give an opinion as to results, but chancing the jumping double at the seaside, Borderer and War-light might be worth backing.    Lux.

World’s Records. Australia’s Wheel.

Holds the following Worlds Records :—

The Longest Straight-away Ride.

Time Record for Around Australia.

Time Record, Perth to Brisbane.

Mr. Donald Mackay won the above records on this wheel to prove the durability, strength, and easy running of the machine after the famous Dux had been ridden from Brisbane to Perth, via Port Darwin, 8,800 miles. Mr. Mackay was able to break all the records from Perth to Brisbane, and for the last 2,200 miles averaged over 100 miles per day.

Price, £20.

Catalogue.

The Dux also holds Amateur and Professional Championships for 1, 3, 5, 10, and 25 Miles. Second-Hand Machines, splendid assortment. Repairs of all makes carefully executed. The trade supplied with every necessary. All kinds of turning done for the trade.

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Mr. S. A. PALMER, Sydney, 6th April, 1900.

Vitadalio Institute, 184 Pitt-street, Sydney.

Dear Sir,—It affords me the greatest pleasure to testify to the wonderful curative properties of Webber’s Vitadatio, for which you are the sole Australasian distributor. For 25 years 1 suffered with Stricture. At last 1 had to go into the Sydney Hospital. Underwent an operation, but derived no benefit. Shortly after leaving the hospital a fistula formed, which also caused me great pain. During a gale at sea t had the misfortune to become ruptured on both sides. Returning to Sydney, I again entered the hospital and remained there five (5) months, undergoing another painful operation, from which I derived no benefit. In this state I determined to try Vitadatio. The third bottle began to make itself felt, and I took nine bottles with me to sea. My friends never expected to see me again alive, but to-day I am in better health than I have been for the past 25 years, and have increased in weight from yst. to over tjst. This is entirely due to Webber's Vitadatio, and it cannot be too widely published. I am well-known in Sydney, and you are at liberty to publish this for the benefit of others. In conclusion, my friends in Vancouver were so astonished at my recovery that they have ordered me to obtain a supply from you for them. —Yours truly, (Signed) GEORGE BUTCHER.

Mr. Butcher will be glad to answer any questions relative to his case at the above address.

Bladder Trouble Cured by Vitadatio.

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“ Venetian,” Kemiedy-slrect, Glebe Point.

Mr. W. WEBBER, 9th April, 1900.

Dear Sir,—You will be glad to know of the cure your medicine, Vitadatio, has worked for me. About 12 months ago, I was attacked with inflammation of the bladder. For eight months 1 was under the treatment of three of the Sydney doctors, but their efforts failed to cure me. In November last I commenced taking Vitadatio, and in less than two months I was completely cured. I have had no return of the trouble. 1 trust this letter will be of use to you, and induce others to try Vitadatio.—Yours faithfully,

(Signed) S. W. O'CONNOR.

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Meals at all hours in the Spacious Dining Room. Tea and Coffee. Boating and Fishing Parties arranged for. Wines & Spirits of the best.

Tel. 37, Brighton. J. R. CATHIE, Proprietor.

Henry

Buck & Co.

Shirts,

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f* I I fl “Sf“    Made to Order

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Open till 10 p.m. Saturdays. Established 1891.

E. T. BRADSHAW, ?SLeper,

Watchmaker and Jeweller and Optician.....

Medals, Badges made to order. Watches made to keep correct time, which is necessary through life. Cyclists’ Glasses for prevention from dust, I/, 2,6, 3/6.

20 QUEEN’S WALK, opp. Town Hall.

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SUITS

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1900

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1900

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Fitted with Free Wheels.

Price -    - £17 JO.


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i)


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MORGAN & WRIGHT TIRES ARE GOOD TIRES.


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THE SCHUMACHER CYCLE ACENCY,

Wholesale and Retail Agents for

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Sole Manufacturer :

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Mr. Alban H.

Harriers. Wills, of the v    Essendon

Harriers, left Melbourne on Monday last for Geelong. Mr. Wills is the holder of the Half Mile Championship of Victoria, and was one of the Victorian representatives in Brisbane last year. He has sat on the Council of the Association as delegate from the Essendon Club for the past two or three years, and has altogether been a prominent figure in amateur athletic circles for some time. If there be anything in the vague rumours which of late have reached us concerning the formation of a harrier club at Geelong, its promoters should find a valuable auxiliary in Mr. Wills. At the last Council meeting the occasion was seized to say good-bye, and kindly wishes were expressed for his future prosperity in business and for his continued athletic success.

The Council of the V.A.A.A. met on Wednesday, 9th inst. The most important matter to occupy its attention was the further consideration of the conditions under which the Anderson trophy should be competed for. A committee appointed to inspect the courses had recommended that the three miles race should be a road race, and that both races begin and finish at a specified point on the Heidelberg-road. The Executive had adopted these recommendations and Mr. Anderson had agreed to the first, but was anxious that the starting and finishing points shoutd be in Spensley-street. The Council decided to affirm the decision of the Executive. The result of the vote was communicated to Mr. Anderson, who had retired when the matter was brought up, and he desired to consult the Clifton and Northcote Club before accepting or rejecting the condition. Later in the evening he was able to announce that he had conferred with the secretary of the club and that he would waive his objection and agree to the proposed starting and finishing point. The first race in connection with the trophy will be run on the 24th inst., and will be a three miles road race.

Two applications for reinstatement were dealt with. One could not be considered as the prescribed period had not elapsed since last professional performance. The other came under the rule relating to nominal offenders, and the application was referred to next meeting with a recommendation that it be granted. Last year’s Executive was re-elected and the remaining business was formal.

Very pleasing from an amateur standpoint was the inter-club challenge competition held last Saturday at Heidelberg by the Melburnian Hare and Hounds and the East Melbourne Harriers. Just an exhibition of keen friendly rivalry, and of good straight racing for no prize except a round of applause and the satisfaction of doing something for the Club. The two mile walk brought out the old veteran, A. O. Barrett (M.H. and H.), and he walked as well as he ever did. He won, of course, by about a lap, and his time—15 min. 7 3-5U1 secs.—was good considering the condition of the track and the state of the weather. Pur-brick (M.H. and H.) also walked well, showing that he is still improving, and Nicholls (E M.H.) could be a walker if he liked. Hunter (M. H. and H). is the coming sprinter. He won the 100 yds. as he liked, beating C. H. Gardner, of the same club, and the man who can do that is not too slow. The Melburnians now had two points, but Traill (E.M.H.) accounted for the mile, and all interest became centred in the quarter-mile since the result of the whole competition turned on it, as the East Melbourne men had a mortgage on the 3 miles event. They sprinted away from a good start, and Hunter and MacPPerson cut out the running. Then E. H. Serle came through with one of his old-time dashes, MacPherson dropped back, and Hunter faltered 50yds. front the tape, and Serle going right on, scored East Melbourne's second win. As predicted, East Melbourne won the 3 miles, but it was not quite anticipated that Davies would get home first. But he did. He is a wonderfully improved runner, and will improve more yet. The E.M.H. thus won by 3 points to 2. Essendon and Clifton and Northcote clubs visited the ground in time to see the 440 run. Mr. \V> Shea made his debut as a starter, and got his men away well together every time. After a four miles pack-run, over 60 stayed for dinner at the Old England, and in the evening, Mr. Jos. Lake took the chair, and things were merry.

Auburn Harriers held a successful smoke night after last Saturday’s run. There was a good attendance and plenty of fun. Prizes won last season were distributed.

George Auld, who was manager of

Lacrosse, the South Australian Lacrosse team that visited Victoria in 1897, and who also played an exceedingly good game in defence for the team, has been in Melbourne during the past week looking old friends up. Dan White and Cis Murray were trotting him round. Geo. is a great deer-hound fancier, and picked up a good one when he was over.

Lacrosse players will remember R. S. Sholl, who played Lacrosse with M.C.C. last year, and was one of the Victorian team that played South Australia in 1898. He was on the Atgus staff when he was here, but last year had a severe illness which necessitated his being invalided home to South Australia ; however, his friends will be glad to hear that he has quite recovered his health. Previous to Sholl coming to Melbourne, he was on the staff of the South Australian Register.

The M.C.C. Lacrosse team lost a good man in Carnegie, who is now playing for Hawthorn. He played a great game against the Collegians on Saturday, and fairly dazzled the backs and took a lot of watching, and was about the best man on the ground. The Collegians would have come out better in the scores if they had kept an eye on him, instead of giving him such a free hand.

The Collegians have got a good colt in Best, who played his second game on Saturday. Nobody, to see him, would believe hut that he has been at the game for some seasons. When he learns to use his erosse properly his name will by no means belie him.

Latham played a fine game for the Collegians on Saturday, and one piece of play on his part is worth mentioning. He got the ball right back, ran with it the whole length of the ground, and finished up by throwing a good goal. So pleased was he with his success that he tried it again a few minutes afterwards, but came to grief at the hands of Bainbridge who checked him, and the usual fall followed pride.

The man who played the best game among the forwards for the Collegians on Saturday, was Brett. He had the misfortune to hurt his ankle in the last quarter and had to retire. Last season he had to give the game best on account of a damaged knee, and the Collegians are in dread that his accident may have the same result this year.

Saturday last saw the opening of the Tennis, first-class pennant matches. The weather cleared up beautifully after lunch and the teams, which got to work early, were able to complete their matches before heavy rain again made the courts sloppy and unplayable.

Camberwell failed to put in a team ; the Grace

Park team was also not forthcoming, so Malvern had a walk-over, Thk Outpost offers its respectful condolences to Mr. Hall, the hon. sec. of the Camberwell Club, on the set back which the club has sustained owing to the conduct of some of its leading players, and hopes that other equally promising players will be found during the present season to enable the club next year to lake the position it undoubtedly would have done this season, but for the unexpected difficulty with the team.

Melbourne, S ruth Yarra and Albert Park had all very easy matches against their respective opponents, St. 1CiIda, Kitzroy and Windsor, the senior team m each case winning toy four rubbers to none.

Watson and Erankenberg both played well for St. Kilda, getting a set in each of their rubbers. Saxon with E. Waters, constituted the Melbourne second pair, and they did extremely well, having a record of seven games the best of the veterans, Dunlop and Diddams. Diddams, however, was not at all at his best.

South Yarra had the easiest of wins in their first two rubbers against Eitzroy, and disaster also followed Fisken and McGomas in their second rubber when playing against the Eraser's. Hurley and Dickson, the latter of whom started very nervously against his old club males, made a much better light against Brookes and Chamley, three sets having to be played before the South Yarra men were victorious.

The Albert Park and Windsor match commenced late and the weather interfered with the game. The Templeton Brothers played considerably below their form. The Albert Park pairs were also too strong for the Dunlops. For Albert Park, Baynes and Pincott played the best individual games.

The University Tournament is now nearly completed and semi-finals and final should produce some good games. O'Hara should win the single handicap.

tennis is gaining a great hold in Tasmania and this season it is proposed to form an association on similar lines to (he Victorian Association and to hold pennant matches.

It has been officially notified that the Albcr Park second class team and (he Fitzroy third class team have each retired from the competitions.

So far Geelong is the only unbeaten

Football, team in the League, all the others having been defeated once. It is not often that we see a state of things like this so early in the season, and it looks as if there will he a good battle for the premiership right through the season.

D. M. Strickland, who won the last Stawell Handicap, played for St. Kilda on Saturday. He is not as much al home on the football ground, however, as he is on the cinders, though the heavy and slippery ground may have hampered him a good deal. On a dry day, if he gets away with the ball, he should take a deal of catching.

Lewis, who played a good game for Carlton on Saturday, is chiefly remarkable for the strange likeness he bears both in face and build to McKecknie. Old footballers will remember the latter as one of Carlton’s crack men in their paltny days, when they were champions tojpr 15 years ago. If Lewis is ever so good a man as his double, he will have reason to be proud of himself.

So George Stuckey is not to lead the ‘’same-old” this season. I hear his father is much averse to George's playing, so he has decided to give the game best. Thus one more Essendon veteran must take his place among the “ has beens." Geo. has captained the “red and blacks” for several years, and will be missed by friend and foe alike.

JAMES M'EWAN & CO.

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Usually when a man comes off the football field even in fine weather, with his uniform as clean as, when he went out, he is looked upon as not having done much for his side. This is more noticeable when (he ground is as it was on Saturday, but lhirse, the Melbourne colt, proved himself the exception to the rule, for he seemed about the only man on (he ground able to keep bis feet. When the final bell rang he looked as if bad just come out of a bandbox. He played a good game all through, and avoided the mistake that both Essen-don and Melbourne men made-—not kicking the ball when they got it, but trying to run with it.

Williams, who is playing half-back with St. Kilda, tried at the beginning of the season to get a clearance from them, hut was not successful as Saints thought him too good a man to lose. He has not shown form enough so far to justify them in blocking him from leaving them, for he did very little against South Melbourne on Saturday.

Peppard, one of Essendon’s half-backs, tried to get a game hist season with Kit/.roy. The ’Roy’s told him, howevever, that It was only waste of time his trying to play with a senior team, so he turned to Essendon, who find him well worth a place in their ranks. Fitzroy must feel somewhat sorry for themselves now (hey see how he has turned out.

Coles, who is playing for Geelong this year, was tried two seasons ago, hut was soon dropped. He played a good game with a junior team on Saturday week, however, and was tried against Collingwood on Saturday, and his play, forward, quite justified his inclusion in the team.

Two of Collingwood’s stars are likely to get into trouble through breaking rules at Geelong on Saturday, and 11 is more than probable that they will he reported to the League. One of them for using bad language to the umpire, and the other for tripping a Pivotonian. If umpires will only make examples of a few men early hi the season It will have a wonderful effect in keeping down ruffianism through the rest of the matches.

Every cyclist must appreciate progress, and Solomon Solution represents the highest progress achieved in blending the best ingredients for the production of an embrocation for healing and curing wounds, bruises, aches, pains, etc. The Acme Cycle Co., 249-51 Eiizabelh-street, Melbourne, proves its progressiveness by always keeping on hand a stock of Soi.omon Solution. The world’s greatest embrocation. No athlete should be without it for training and curative purposes. 1 2

^    '«¿ 'V >2.

=r> rry country % v of Tbee.->"

without being forced 10 do so after a determined final struggle.

Ever since the Boers have had to move, not only their fighting men, but their guns, ammunition trains and supply-waggons, the British forces have kept in touch with them, and have followed them up, so that they have not been able to strongly entrench themselves or to be free for any length of time from their persistent pursuers, and each place where it was thought the Boers would make a stand in their northward retirement has so far been occupied by tire British with practically no opposition.

At the present rate of advance our troops will soon have a footing in the Transvaal and it should then not be long before O0111 Paul and his generals will have to make up their minds as to whether they will attempt to bold Johannesburg and Pretoria, or will flee to the mountain township, which it is said, lias been provisioned for an expected long struggle. The fact that Leydenberg has been so provisioned, is a good indication of the views of the authorities in the Transvaal as to their ideas of holding the two most important towns 111 the Republic. With the continued advance of the British towards Pretoria, it can not be long before it will be necessary for the Boers in Natal to retire, even if Sir Redvers Buller was simply holding them in check, but we know that be is not inactive, and the attention that he is bestowing on them and the knowledge that the victorious British are making Such progress through the Orange Free State, must in a very little while compel them to vacate their position. When the Boers from Natal have disappeared through the passes into the Transvaal, and Mafeking has been relieved, the whole of the fighting, Worth speaking of, will be confined to the Transvaal, and the Boers should then be speedily convinced that they are hopelessly beaten.

The name of “ Bill Adams ” is well-known in British history as the winner of the Battle of Waterloo. Mr. Robert Adams, however, Is not so well-known to civilians in this colony as he is among our “Soldiers of the Queen.” Mr. Adams had charge of the canteen arrangements at Lang-warrin during the several times when the contingents were under canvas, and Colonel Kelly has promised to keep a place for him in South Africa. Mr. Adams is shortly to sail for Biera, where he hopes to minster to the “ spiritual ” wants of the Australian Imperial Regiment. The genial Bob, who is nothing, if not a humourist, asserts that he is no relation to his namesake of Waterloo fame and adds that he Is known for his Whisky-loo.

Polygroove.

GENTLEMEN

WHEN YOU WANT


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AN ÁSJ5TRALIÁN NATIONAL NEW5PAPER.


Vol. i.    MELBOURNE, MAY 26, 1900.    No. 5.

E N G L A N D ’S A N S W E R.

(The Australian Federal Delegates and\tlic Colonial Secretary have arrived at a satisfactory compromise regarding the doubtful clauses in the Commonwealth Bill.—News-Item.)

The Sentry : who goes there ?    .

Horseman : a friend.

The Sentry : give the password.

Horseman : the Australian commonwealth.

The Sentry : pass friend, and all’s well.

tbe Outpost.

An Australian National Newspaper.

PUBLISHED EVERY WEEK.

Printed and Published by Walter Vizard for E. W. Carey, at 16 Wright’s Lane, Melbourne, Victoria

R. A. Thompson and Co., Wholesale Agents for Australia, New Zealand, Tasmania, South Africa, London. Following are R. A. Thompson and Co.'s, addresses :—

Melbourne ...... 362 Little Collins-street.

Sydney...............1H0 Pitt-street.

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Brisbane ......... Edward-street.

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TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION (Payable in Advance, only.)

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General Notice.

By sending direct to The Outpost Office, 237 Collins-street, Melbourne, 12s. sterling, which you may forward in cheque, PO. Order, Postal Note or stamps of any Australian Colony, The Outpost will be. forwarded to you post free, punctually every week for a year. Cheques, drafts, etc., and all business letters to be addressed to E. H. Gavei.l, Manager. Literary Communications to be addressed to E. W. Carey

To Literary Contributors.

All contribu ions submitted in the form of political, social or other articles, verses, short tales or sketches, paragraphs or letters, will be carefully read and acknowledged 111 the Correspondence Column. Preference will be given to verse, talcs or sketches dealing with Australian subjects, or subjects of immediate interest. Talcs or sketches should not exceed three columns in length. Unsuitable MS. will he returned when stamps are enclosed, but The Outpost cannot be responsible for the preservation or transmission of M S. All contributions accepted will be paid for a I space rales.

To Artists In Black and White.

Political, humorous, or oilier drawings, line or wash, adapted for direct reproduction, will be paid for on acceptance. The conditions applying to such drawings are those applying to M.S.

To Photographers.

Photographs of interesting events,people or scenery, will be considered and paid for upon acceptance. Conditions upon which such photographs will be received are similar to those applying to M.S.

Notice to Queensland Subscribers.

Zls the. postage on The Outpost to Queensland is id. per copy, the subscription for that Colony is 15s.

Cbe Outpost.

SATURDAY, MH Y 26, ujoo.

THE SICK MAN’S BURDEN.

However laudable maybe the effort to wipe off the Melbourne Hospital debt by the conditional contribution scheme started by Squatter lliffe with ¿1000, it cannot possibly be effective. The idea oi donating a large sum provided a certain number of others do likewise, has been so often tried and failed as to be discredited, and, though it be launched in all genuineness, its re-appearance is always greeted with a sneer at the motives of the initiator. It is no small thing in a small community like ours to amass a sum of ¿18,000 or ¿20,000 for a single institution. With all the sentimental stimulus of patriotism, the whole province has within the last six months subscribed nearly ¿70,000 to help Britain in the Transvaal War. But, in that large sum there were far from 38 donors of ¿500 each or over, and it is sheer fatuity to expect them to come along now in response to an appeal for a local charity, lacking the picturesque element and depending upon people whose purses patriotism has already exhausted.

There is also a tacit and mutual agreement among moneyed men not to admit exceptional obligations arising from their possession of wealth. The capitalist argues that lie pays his due share of taxation, and that anything he does over and above that is not a duty but a benefaction. His press organ, the Argus, usually insists upon the soundness of this doctrine, and it is guilty of heresy now in undermining it by advocating the principle of a limited liability in respect to the Melbourne Hospital debt. There is much reason in this capitalistic contention, and it is not at all to the benefit of the community at large that the care of the sick and injured should be regarded as a charge upon a particular class. This dependence upon the generosity of individuals is an- encouragement to the parsimonious, every bountiful man'who donates ¿500 being a solid argument why 100 mean then should refrain from giving ¿5 each. The practice of relying upon charity to support hospitals, etc., is obviously unfair and unreliable. It would not bethought of in respect to criminals and lunatics, and it is but taking a mean advantage of the sick and injured to apply it to them. These are just as fair a charge upon the community at large as the peccant and insane, and the community will not be fulfilling its functions properly unless it puts these so-called charitable institutions upon a free and independent basis, each individual contributing in proportion to his means, and every individual paying something.

* * *

Meanwhile the debt on the Melbourne Hospital remains, and the committee is anxious to receive proposals for reducing it, or removing it altogether The Outpost understands that one suggestion submitted to it is to the effect that the committee should conduct a big sweep on the Melbourne Cup. As a preliminary, Parliament would have to be asked to pass a short Enabling Act, and it would have to be impressed with the public morality of the scheme before it would so legislate. So far as this is concerned it can be pointed out at the outset that in the laws against raffles, those in connection with churches and charities are excepted. This is in itself a recognition of the principle that provided the object of a lottery is exalted, the element of gambling becomes unobjectionable. Now, in regard to sweeps on ttie Melbourne Cup, it is notorious that thousands of pounds arc annually sent from Victoria towards such speculations. Of these thousands the Tasmanian Government gets a percentage, but the bulk of the profits goes into the pocket of a single individual. If a Melbourne Hospital Sweep were arranged it would simply divert some of these thousands from Tasmania, and the profits from an individual to a National Charity. It would probably not increase the the number of sweep speculators at all, and if it did the increase would not be due so much to the instinct of gambling as to the impulse of charity.

* * *

Of course, it might take a little persuasion to reconcile the Noncomformist Conscience to such a method of wiping out a hospital debt, but if care were taken to assure conscientious objectors that the case is exceptional and not an insidious insertion of the thin edge of the wedge of National Lotteries, all objections might be overcome. The suggestion is at any rate worthy of public discussion, and it would be some consolation surely to objectors that the speculative section of the community will be contributing a due proportion of their cash to charity. It has often been proposed that sport and amusements should be taxed, and the adoption of this proposal would to a certain extent give effect to the idea. Gambling is a human instinct which cannot he eradicated, and therefore must be regulated, and if that regulation is for once directed for the benefit of a big charity like the Melbourne Hospital, the result should be anything but evil. Altogether the scheme is fascinating and would be certain to be effective, and if not completely successful in its object, it would assuredly go a long way towards it. It is at least the most practical proposal so far put forward, and its advocates will in Justice be entitled to claim a trial unless something better is advanced in its place.

DESERTING THE DELEGATES.

The recent claims of the daily papers to speak for the people of Australia on a matter so important as the Commonwealth Bill, is an example of presumption that the yellow journalism of America has never equalled. The only people who can speak on any question relating to the Commonwealth Bill are the enfranchised voters of this country. And they have spoken already. Not hastily ; not inconsiderately ; but after the measure had been debated, and discussed and canvassed in one form and another for the last twenty years. Finally, to claim that the Appeal Clause is a minor matter, on which at no time any great feeling existed, is a positive mis-statement. With the exception of the question of Equal Representation, the Appeal Clauses in the Bill occupied more time, and were more searchingly examined by the Federal Delegates than any other portion of the measure.

* * *

Following the appearance of the Ag; misstatement, the Argus opened its columns to the letters of anonymous writers whose real signatures would have given them completely away ; and to other writers who used their real signatures for purposes of egotism and publicity. One of these insinuated that Barton, Deakin and Kingston were contending “for the whole Bill ” in anticipation of “ fat briefs " if the Appeal Clause was retained. It is a shameful thing that any Australian paper should open its columns to such a statement. And the insinuation itself is an example of gross and insolent snobbery that should make the most implacable provincialist blush. Because very largely, the men who are agitating for the removal of the Appeal Clause are the men who fought tooth and nail against the adoption of the Bill. They know that its elimination may wreck the Bill in Australia, and they have seized the opportunity with tact and pertinacity. As to the actual sentiment in Australia regarding the measure, Deakin and Barton are better qualified to speak than any newspaper editor, or any anonymous letter writer, or any insignificant person from Malvern, or the lot of them together.

That the Bill was adopted is largely due to the work of Deakin in Victoria and Barton in New South Wales. That public enthusiasm was aroused is altogether due to the magnificent platform work they both accomplished. And when they told the Colonial Secretary that the people of Australia wanted the whole Bill, he should have accepted that assurance as the statement of responsible and accredited men. At any rate his hole and corner enquiries through the newspaper offices and judiciaries of Australia are altogether contemptible. But in that respect they are quite in keeping with the traditions of the Colonial Office. The shadow of “the man Rodgers” still hovers over that wing of the Brilisli Administration. If the Bill Is amended by the House of Commons that will be another matter altogether. But until it is so amended it is clearly the place of the Federal Delegates in London to urge the acceptance of the whole Bill. And in so far as they have done that they deserve the support of all good Australians.

* * *

And it is to this desertion of the Australian Delegates in London that this paper objects. In all their interviews with Chamberlain they have protested that the present Bill is the work of the Australian people, and that no power in Australia but the Australian people has any authority to alter that Bill. What the British Parliament does in regard to the Bill is not at issue at all. Those Houses are supreme over all the dominions of die Crown, and if they amend the Bill It is more than probable that Australia will readily enough accept the measure without a further referendum. But in the meantime it is the duty of the Delegates to protest against any proposed official suggestions for altering the measure adopted by the Australian people. The delegates have done their duty. The daily press of Australia—with a couple of honourable exceptions—have deserted the delegates in an altogether base and cowardly way.

* * *

The Bill may become a mere Party Question in England because Chamberlain’s efforts to negotiate with certain people in Australia about desired amendments have been met with truckling servility. And Chamberlain is a Party man, or nothing. He is haled by the Liberal Party in England as a traitor of a grosser kind than even political variations condone or justify. He might have met the House with the original Bill and the statement that it was the result of 20 years of

thought and education and labour, and that his office was a mere formality. But he did not. He urged amendments in the Bill and degraded the discussion on the Constitution of the Australian Commonwealth to the level of a measure for regulating London Music Halls. With a complete ignorance of Australian conditions and an aptitude for diplomatic blundering that no other Colonial Secretary has ever quite excelled, he went behind the official representatives of the people of this country and canvassed the opinion of its proprietary newspapers. And those newspapers “ came to heel ” at once, and sounded the one note with a unanimity and concord that only temporary obsession can explain.

From some of the Premiers nothing was to be expected. They had all been, and are.still, virulent Provincialists. It was not to be expected that they would stand valiantly behind the very men who had outfought and outflanked them over the contest for a United Australia. And the people, at present, have no other leaders. The halitus of the great Empire war is overpowering the finer mental processes until men cannot distinguish between the just criticism of the British attitude to questions of Colonial self-government and disloyalty to the Empire at large. The amendments that Chamberlain has proposed are not of vast importance to the people of this country, but that proposition should have stood severely alone as his own, and should not have received from the politicians of Australia the consent of silence. In the plain, unvarnished vernacular of our great language, those same politicians have “ funked ” the job very badly. But then men to whom the politician’s stipend—£280 per annum— is a God-send, and for whom the temporary emoluments of “ office ” spell positive luxury, might very well be expected to “ funk ” a much smaller job. And they “ funked ” accordingly. There might have been just a suspicion of “disloyalty” in any participation in a public demonstration against amendment of the Bill. To * withstand such a suspicion would have needed a higher public reputation than most of them possessed ; to carry it through without suspicion they all felt equally incompetent. But one day the moment of clear vision will come to the people of this country, and then the men who needlessly and stupidly deserted the Federal Delegates will be cast back to that obscurity from which they should never have emerged.

In the meantime this paper feels called upon to point out that the opposition to amendment arises in no way from disloyalty to the Empire but from a sincere desire to make that Empire stronger and firmer. The people made the Bill as they did make it, believing that only by the fullest exercise of the functions of national life could Australia grow into a sturdy outpost of the race. And when she asked for a fuller autonomy than Canada possesses the claim was justified in one significant way by the absence from Australia of a race problem that did exist as an active quantity when the Canadian federation was consummated. That the Bill will be amended now is quite certain ; that amendment was unnecessary most sincere Australians will admit ; that the amendment was projected without a single protest from a representative gathering in any of the provinces is to be regretted. Not so much because the amendments were of any importance, as that the absence of protest evinced a lack of proper pride which all good workmen should have for the work of their hands. And the Australian Commonwealth Bill certainly equalled any piece of constructive legislation .that any people have ever produced, Higgins the Adullamite notwithstanding.


THE “ NYTIVES ” AND THE BILL.


Outside Victoria the A N.A. is merely nominal in membership, and inappreciable as a factor in public opinion. Nevertheless the Board of Directors arrogate to themselves, and incidentally to the Association, the honour of the lion’s share in the Federal movement. In the spirit of Bill Adams they have uttered this palpable fiction so often that they now seriously believe it themselves. If


asked what was responsible for the two hundred thousand and odd votes in favour of the Bill in the other provinces, they dismiss the question with a Podsnappian gesture, and loftily declare that : “ We were the centres from which radiated all the light and enthusiasm of the Federal cause.” Beneath the public smile at this presumption there is yet the fair-minded admission that the A.N.A. did materially assist at our local referendum. To the Board belongs the credit of spending considerable sums of their friendly society money in promoting public meetings, and of educating the people by inviting public speakers to attend and deliver addresses. It is no disparagement to say that many of their Branch votes in favour of the Bill were carried in meetings of only nine or ten members. They published those declarations in every available paper. In short, the Association influenced public opinion because it first influenced the press.

Acting on the advice of Deakin, the Board have from time to time rendered valuable assistance in other directions. But it is woefully deficient in that initiative which is the hall mark of true leadership. They will not even follow the lead of Deakin when he is not present to whip them into duty with his eloquence. At Bendigo assisted by' a creditable caterer he was able to stir them into enthusiastic action. Yesterday, as a delegate in London, he cabled a request for public demonstrations on behalf of the Bill, and the Board reply with a vapid resolution passed by a dozen men in a little office on a top flat at Prell’s Buildings. Fact is the Board have degenerated into a band of elocutionaires stimulated to action only by intoxicating exhortations, and unable to grasp a principle when hinted to them in the brief prose of a cable. It was one thing to hold meetings in favour of the Bill when a flattering press was prepared to report their heroics ; it is another when that press, having deserted the measure, is likely to treat them with scorn or contempt. Partly because there is no paper notoriety to be obtained, but mainly because of a parochial unimaginative character, the Board elects to be at once the quixotic claimant of federal leadership, and the deserter of the Commonwealth Bill. Their cable to Deakin, unsupported by even a demonstration of A.N.A. members will have less weight than the message from Frank Madden’s Reform Club. Thus the alleged guardian who doted on the measure some months ago, is prepared to abandon it with only a formal and feeble protest when attacked by a Right Honorable British Minister.

A “MERELY PROVINCIAL” QUESTION.

“ Crites” to the Outpost.—Matters of Empire and matters of Commonwealth tyranise our attention just now. And it requires something of a wrench to bring our minds to contemplate considerations of purely Victorian interest. You casually mention the question of the Whitfield estate to the statesman, or the military expert, who sits opposite to you in the smoking carriage, and he snorts. “That is a mere parochial question,” he says, “ I am now interested in affairs of the Empire or the Commonwealth.” Then he folds his paper conveniently to read the flaring telegrams on the front page ; and looks at you reproachfully, meanwhile, like a paraphrase of Browning : “ Why waste time on trivialities, things of moment calling for remark.” And the man in the train is always an indication of the general attitude of the minute. In fact so much neglect is manifest in the matter of what are contemptuously called “ parish-pump questions," that there is imminent danger of the people dying of certain kinds of thirst.

Now of all kinds of thirst intellectual thirst is one of the most pressing, one which must be assauged with copious and soul-satisfying draughts. But again, a worse thing than intellectual thirst is the absence of intellectual thirst. And in making this statement we reach the point of our discourse. Is there intellectual thirst in Victoria torday ? Apparently not. To change the metaphor, whatever the Empire or the Commonwealth may need, it is pretty plain that Victoria needs an educational enlightenment. Her educational methods appear to be obsolete, and her educational matter inadequate. The times demand an advance in the methods of teaching, and the conditions of modern life and industry demand an increase in the subjects taught in our schools. And not only is an advance in subjects required, but so also,is a redistribution of emphasis amongst the subjects already taught. In all this, of course, we refer to our State Schools.

* * *

The Technical Education Commission, now sitting under the chairmanship of Mr. Theodore Fink, is bringing the above conclusions clearly into view. Its report is to be looked for with interest by all who wish their country's welfareAnd although the report may suggest changes which are even drastic, yet if these changes are well founded, and supported by reasons, it is to be seen to that they be carried into effect.

Our Education Act of 1873 was an excellent piece of Legislation, of wise intention and of good effect. But its original force is now spent. In several particulars reform is urgently needed, and some of these particulars are non-controversial. What we ask for at present is that the attention of good Victorians should be given to the subject, so that in due time, which is shortly, they may be prepared to act.

This question of popular Education is easily first amongst the causes which affect National life and prosperity.

TO--—. AN APPRECIATION.

(For The Outpost.)

On myriad lips the praises wake For thee and thee alone ;

Men love thee for thy triumph’s sake,

1 love thee for thine own.

Thou hast with glory crowned thy name, And where thou passesl by,

Thy country’s honor and her fame Are lifted up on high.

Thy spirit's greatness hath been wrought In solitudes apart:

In deserts where Great Nature’s thought In silence moulds the heart.

Thou had'st one single aim in view,

In patience waiting long ;

But then !—the victory was true,

The blow was sure and strong.

Thou did'st avenge thy country's shame,

A nation’s praise did'st win,

Her foes now tremble at thy name That thrills our hearts within.

From height to height unconquered go, To rise where others fall—

A terror to the crouching foe—

A hero to us all.

Oh ! grandest spirit of the time,

Move on, and ever on,

Thy feet have other heights to climb,

Not one to rest upon—

Till thy great labor shall be done,

Then peace the victor greets,

And what in Time thou hast begun Eternity completes.

H.K.W,

A S 'I' KONOMICA L.

THERN CROSS ?

' THERE’SH DK HAUMSH. MI NISH WHISKY.


New Arrival (in W.A.) : sat ! where’s the sou-: Tired Friend : ddnno where s's cross ish, hut

Chamberlain says : "The Commonwealth Hill is a monument of legislative competency." In fact it only needs his alterations and finishing touches to make it absolutely perfect.

♦ * *

The .1 riiiis is fighting vigorously for the Penny Post and introduces the subject into the tail end of all manner of articles after the fashion of patent medicine advertisers. The P.M.G. denies the accuracy of the .1 igus and Durham's Post Office figures, but is unwilling to produce a statement of his own to show that the department cannot afford the reduction.

* * *

Little Edna Arnold was being taken home from the Piineess Theatre the other night, when a tearful drunk lurched up alongside and begged to be allowed to shake hands. He explained amidst iiis sobs that he had seen her act, and that she reminded him vividly of his own little girl, who was dead. After shaking hands solemnly he departed, apparently much comforted.


“ Index’’ : Reported that the Herald Directorate are completely satisfied with the Majah’s “ War Letters." They have scaled it avoirdupois. “ See," they say, “what a lot he writes. Why, for one column that MacDonald has done for the Argus, he

has written ten for us."

* * *

The rage of America at present is a game called 11 basket ball," played by the girls of the different universities. The teams turn out in gaily colored bloomers and travel hundreds of miles to play off for championships, the final contests attracting thousands of spectators. The game appears to be a sort of handball, played under rules resembling those of lacrosse oT Australian football, and is claimed to be highly exciting. Why not acclimatise the game here ? Australian women have, by far, too little exercise.

The Sydney City Council has long been notorious as the home of abusive epithets, filthy phraseology and pugilistic proceedings. More recently it came into prominence as the body responsible for the most neglected and filthy by-ways that have been permitted to disgrace the centres of modern civilisation. From such a body incapable of properly supervising its scavengers it is too much to expect that it would treat an artist in its employment with even common courtesy, so that there is no room for surprise when we learn that the Council has lost the services of Mr. Wiegand. The Sydney C.C. has not only driven out of Australia one of the finest organists ever seen on its shores, but has done it in a manner that makes it impossible for any European musician of repute to accept the position he has vacated,


Telegraph operators at the ti.P.O. are angry at the statement in Melbourne Argus that the first news of the relief of Mafeking was " given away ” to the people in the streets by the shouting of the receiving operators. They allege that the “ give away” was by one of the high officials who never was conspicuous for self control of any kind.

When old Bishop Perry first arrived in Victoria, Bishop Goold, the Roman Catholic Satrap, sent him his card with a note to the effect that their difference in religion should not prevent their being personal friends. Perry retorted with a curt intimation that such a course was not desirable, inasmuch, as either one or the other must be a preacher of false doctrine.

* * *

McLean and Melville repudiate all responsibility for the recent military bungling. The impartial public, however, demand an inquiry that shall be both radical and competent. To this request the Ministry has made a most unsatisfactory answer. It not only safeguards the reputation of the accused Ministers by the appointment of two colleagues to conduct the inquiry, but decides that all evidence shall be heard in camera. The only way in which a public scandal can be cleared up is by a public inquiry, and this the people will insist on even at the cost of losing so excellent an Administration.

* * *

Chief Justice Madden was on the point of giving up his law course and taking to medicine, when in his third year at the University, and even went so far as to commence dissections at the medical school. It was, in fact, only the advice of his mother to stick to one thing that impelled him to return to his first love. Nevertheless, a few years later, when briefs were few and the prospect of emerging from the ranks of the juniors seemed as far off as ever, he applied for the position of registrar of the University and was within an ace of getting it. Happily he was rejected or he might have remained in that obscure position even unto the present day.

* * *

Some of the meetings of the Women’s Hospital Committee are very funny, especially when the ultra respectable dames at the head of affairs are at loggerheads. A few years ago a girl applying for admission was under cross-examination. “ Are you married ?” asked the president severely. “Yes,” said the girl. 111 do not think you are speaking the truth, young woman,” remarked an elderly dame, the wife of an Anglican dignitary, “ who married you?” “The Reverend Mr. Skyscraper of Colling-wood," said the applicant. " Ah," cried the other, “ there is no such clergyman.” The girl persevered, “ Yes, there is. He’s a Wesleyan minister.” The president turned up her nose in scorn, “ Oh—h,” she snorted, “ a Wesleyan.” This was too much for a Wesleyan member of the committee, who smartly chipped in, “Yes, a Wesleyan. And 1 was married by a Wesleyan clergyman myself and I consider I’m just as much married as you are, Mrs. President.” And before the applicant could laugh outright, her paper was signed and she was bustled out of the room.

G. D. Meudell, one of Melbourne’s few bimetallic cranks struggled for years to convince the public that he was father to the expression “ Australia for the Australians.” He was just beginning to succeed when the sentiment went smash, and he was forced to repudiate it, realising that while it was useful as a cry against the unclean and colored alien it savoured too much of insular arrogance. G.D.M., although twice emphatically rejected by the electors of Grenville, the second time his opponent securing a majority of over 600, has decided that he will unseat Sadlier on a technicality. Schoolteacher Sadlier, a man of considerable pertinacity, was in Westralia at the time of the vacancy, and, unlike I. A. Isaacs, not having left a few dozen signed nomination papers behind him, a friend filled in the paper on his behalf.    Meudell having

discovered this is employing counsel to unseat him, but the case cannot be dealt with until Parliament meets and appoints an Elections and Qualifications Committee,

T H E P O I N T O F V I E W. aren’t you sorry auntie’s going, dear.

OH ! NO MOTHER. AUNTIE AI.I.US GIVES ME A SHU.UN’ WHEN SHE GETS HOME.


‘■Index”: Burleigh’s book on the Natal Campaign, makes but chill reading. One longs for the florid and unreliable Churchill or the graphic pictures of Stevens. Especially is the latter's demise to be lamented now. He disapproved of the war politically, but loved the English soldier, and this equipment gave him a reasonable standpoint that would have produced matter of importance. If Banjo Patterson only knew more of journalism he might, in this respect anyway, take Stevens’ place. For the others, Kinnear looks— and writes—like a layman—and Ralph is too enthusiastically English altogether. Of course we have Reay—but Reay hasn’t seen a “ weal live battle” all the time.

* * *

Editor Outpost : I’m sick, dog-tired, full up to the chin, of the “paragraph” generally. It is interminable and leads nowhere. It is the treadmill of journalism, the wearying “plug! plug! plug !” of the hard-up, the pot boiler and the broken down scribbler. It demands no genius, carries no responsibility, conveys no sustenance. It is not the work of trained or clever pressmen at all. It is done by the butcher and the baker and candlestick-maker. Certainly it makes “easy reading,” but can’t clever, responsible work be made easy reading, too ?    1 think that once a year the

pressmen of Australia should make a Guy Fawkes of Newnes and his Australian followers, and shy mullock at ’em.

Dr. Smith, one of the Crown witnesses in the horrible Kennedy case just concluded in the Criminal Court, has been asked to resign from the position of Resident Surgeon of the Kyneton Hospital for attempted familiarities with some of the nurses. Smith was an old army surgeon, and, if memory be not at fault, went through the Crimea. Settling in Kyneton he worked up a fair practice, but unfortunately became a complete dipsomaniac. Ten years or so ago he pulled himself together in a surprising manner, and a vacancy occurring at the hospital he obtained the position, mainly through the iniluence of his medical confreres. However, he has relapsed and everyone who knows him regrets the disgrace which has befallen him in his old age.

D’Y KNOW THE DIFEERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND THE PO ST M A ST Ii R-G EN ERA L.

DUN NO.

WELL, A POST SUPPORTS YOU AND THE POST I OFFICE SUPPORTS HIM.

Specimen of Age “ Saturday humour ” :—

Mr. Chamberlain is coming in for some hearty abuse because he declines to believe that three out of four Federal delegates are Australians ; that the little coterie of legal members of the convention who constructed the appeal clause represent the concentrated essence of the legislative acumen of the Empire and the unanimous heart throbs of the colonies.

RONDEL.

Since roses die, nor Death beguile,

And soon must quiet lie ;

Red lips grow faint and cease to smile, Since roses die.

The dainty dew of lips will dry,

And Time’s remorseless file Not one of us may long defy.....

Think of life stretching mile on mile The road we tramp to die ;

And youth lasts such a little while,

. . . . Since roses die.

Marcel,

The error of a telegraph operator was responsible for a truly awful wire being delivered at the home of an ex-Minister of the Crown, shortly before the defeat of the last Government. The export trade was the live subject of the cabinet, and Sir George Turner unexpectedly hit upon a scheme that would prove of immense value to the country and arranged with Gill, the well-known shipping agent to meet the Minister at Geelong, and conclude negotiations. As he was himself away at the time, Turner telegraphed to his house, “Arranged for you and Gill to stay at Geelong, Saturday to Monday.” The wire was duly delivered, but when Mrs. Minister opened it she was alarmed to find that it contained the words, “ Have arranged for you and girl to stay at Geelong, Saturday to Monday.”

Renlouliana.—Our particular Rentoul is one of the ornaments of a numerous unbroken family of of clever disputatious Presbyterians ; a North of Ireland friend of the Outpost gives us these particulars. The Rentouls—or Rentowls (towls is more like it) are generally known in their own district as the “ long” and short, they either grow to six foot lengths or to the diminutive size of the Melbourne Professor. The Outpost’s friend remembers being in church one day (as a child I) when Laurence Rentoul was relieving for the day a six-foot-six relative ; when he entered the pulpit he was invisible, but the gran and reverend elders of the kirk rose to the difficulty with an aggregation of footstools, and the preacher warned to his “sixthly.” He warmed so much that he disappeared in the middle of a sentence— the footstools had given way beneath him.

Another of the family, an equally zealous preacher, acquired a living in a London suburb, studied in his spare time and passed for the law. Week days he practised at the bar, Sundays in the pulpit, a most infamous combination, as his parishioners declaimed. For a year he kept both professions moving, till, finding the law most profitable, he placidly resigned the church. At the bar he became a great success, was elected a London County Councillor, and stepped into a judgeship for Middlesex.

Another of this interesting family (still a churchman) had the destincy to inhabit Antrim, a tremendously horsey district (and when an Irishman is horsey, he’s very stable). Preaching once on the Kingdom of Heaven, he described the Apocalytic glories and reconciled the leading characteristic of his congregation to them very Jesuistically : “ Yes —and there will be golden streets, and singing and angels, and-and-and there will be horses there.”

A N E C EffUTY P R E CAUTION.

Sympathetic Friend : Hullo! Cholly, old chap, you'be looking very cheap. You

SHOULD HE IN BED INSTEAD OK TRAIN TRAVELLING.

The Afflicted One : Well, fact is 1 am very piano ; hut you see if i consulted a

CITY MAN, CHANCES ARE HE'D QUARANTINE ME AS A PLAGUE

“ suspect,'" so I’m going to consult a country pill driver.


Mi. John Anderson, of the Royal Hotel, Clifton Hill, holds a good position in the Water Supplv Department, and is considered one of the best accountants in the service. He is possessed of private means, and amuses himself by keeping an hotel. In the old days lie was a fast sprinter, and there was once talk of a match between him and Hewett, when the latter was out here. Of recent years lie lias turned his attention to the amateur side, and has been president ol the Clifton and Northeote Harriers, since the inception of the club This year he has joined the Council of the V.A.A.A., as delegate of his club, and has presented the Association with a valuable shield for competition amongst Harrier Clubs. He is a keen sportsman and a iirst-elass shot.

* * *

“ For the Victorian Metropolis—Fitzgibhon." The complacent White Knight has no hesitation in speaking “as one having authority,” and on Sovereign and Hero alike, he bestows the favour of his approval. Therefore all must now go well. So—

“ ‘ Krin the tear and the smile ’ conjure up,

With nectar the rarest you’ve hrimm'd up our cup. With glory we’re giddy, with rapture bedazed,

For your gracious Fit/gibbon has pleased to be

plased.”

Gt'iffo, the crack Sydney pug., is reported to be as well as ever and about to enter the ring again. Griffo was originally a Sydney newsboy and one day, in the zenith of his prosperity, he remembered that he had been treated with disrespect some years before in the office of the Bulletin. Thither Gritto went with a couple of his boon companions. The clerk came to the counter to attend to their wants when Griffo spoke. “ Yer don't remember me, Mr. Blank, do yer, hey ? Well, 1 used to get papers here five years ago an you used ter chuck me out. I’m Griffo, will yer chuck me out now ?”


A bush tailor’s advertisement:—“ Saucy-cut toggery of all kinds, cut slap-up with fakement seams and little, artful buttons at the bottom—for lardy-dardy blades on the high fly, and cut to suit yokels, dustmen, sneaks, mushroom fakers, sparrow starvers, tea-kettle purgers, costers, actors, parsons, bruisers and seedy toffs—Peg-tops, bell-bottoms, tights or half-tights, or drop over the trotters. Black or dandy vests, made to Hash the rag or dickey, or tight up round the scrag."

* * *

The recently decimated Nytive’s organ asserts that several members of The Outpost’s staff are members of the Nytive’s Association. Wrong. Only one is. He is undergoing chastening now, and the others are trying to forgive him.

* * *

At five minutes to 12 on Saturday night, a prominent official of the Crown Law Department was lying on his back in Swanston-street kicking his heels in the air in sheer exuberance, while his glossy bell-topper rolled gaily across the footpath. On being assisted to his feet, he shook hands beamingly with a dilapidated stranger and remarked, “ All ri’ ole man, all ri’ ; giorioush Brrish Constitush’ shafe now."

* * *

The well-known proprietor of a fashionable Swanston-street refreshment room, on Saturday celebrated the relief of Mafeking with immense satisfaction to himself and numerous others. About the middle of the evening he got out on the verandah and let off fireworks. He then invited the crowd to sing the National Anthem, but the only response was a shower of crackers, which exploded all over and around him. But he stood his ground tike a Briton, and even attempted an advance. If somebody had not pulled him back by the coat tails he would probably have fallen over [ the edge of the verandah.


6


THE OUTPOST,


May 26, 1900.


THE STORY OF SOMERLED.

(For the Outpost.)

Hear ye the story of Somerled, Warden of Gloucester, Earl ;

Lord of the Cambrian Outer March, who was saved by the wit of a girl.

When the rout at Naseby followed fast on the heels of Marston Moor,

Weary and blood-befouled the Earl drew rein at his own hall door.

Forward his jaded horse could not, scant was the hope at his back,

For he knew that a mob of crop-eared rogues rode hot-foot on his track.

And the kitchen wench ceased whimpering ; his lady’s voice was dumb,

And silence of death came over them all, for they knew their lord had come.

No word they asked him of the day, but up the stair they bore him—■

Daughter and wife—their love-strong arms behind him and before him.

But or ever they reached the turret room, and laid the Earl on the bed,

They saw the flash on the morion of him who rode ahead.

They heard the clatter of hoof-beat stones, the hoarse-voiced shout that rent The air, and the jingling rattle of chains, and the oaths of the Parliament.

Mabel, the daughter, dropped to her knees and never a word spake she,

But deftly her fingers loosed the clasps, womanlike, silently.

Tall as tower, and straight as a reed, swiftly and sure and well,

Donned she the miry clothes and arms, and snatched at a petroncl.

Down the long stair, through the hallway dim, then out from the stable yard,

Holding the bridle rein of a mare, big-boned and gaunt and hard,

She came : ’Twas the work of a moment, and then " For the lips that my lips have kissed ”

She said, and leaped to the saddle and drew the sword knot on her wrist.

Out past the wall, and the men that rode with Praise- God-Lc aimer,

Saw her and loosed their half-drawn reins, and plied the fierce red spur.

And they jeered in their galloping, “ Tarry a pace, ho, King’s man, renegade."

Deeming they rode at a gallant man, when ’twas but a gallant maid.

Over the hills and the trampled slopes, to the gates of the crimson day,

And ever the Earl’s old long-limbed mare, bigboned and gaunt and gray,

Lengthened the drawn-out chase, till it seemed but a struggling ill-made line :

Then Lorimer’s chestnut rolled in a ditch, and took a hurt to her spine.

And lie rose from his tangled saddle gear, and gave them the word as they passed.

11 Spur, ye loons, spur, five crowns to the first, and the devil take the last."

Then the foremost strained at the flying heels, and flung himself on the track,

And joyfully caught at the war-soiled cloak that clung to his quarry’s back.

But the Lady Mabel took heart of grace, and tossed to the wind her fears,

As she rose to the hill, for she saw in the vale the plumes of the Cavaliers.

Then she turned in her seat, thrust her arm through the reins and fired her petronel :

And the shaveling clutched at the hole in his side, and gripped at the mane and fell.

What need to tell of the hot pursuit. How seeing they were but few

(And wise) the Roundheads doubled back on the road that is known to you ;

Or how that Lorimer searched the house, nor dreamt the Earl was there,

Safe in the secret hiding place beneath the turret stair.

Thank God, my lords and gentlemen, that time is dead and gone,

Drink all, to the fairest loyalist that the sun shone ever on.

This is how Caverher Somerled, Warden of Gloucester, Earl,

Lord of the Cambrian Outer March, was saved by the wit of a girl.    Athos.

SIR MALCOLM McEACHARN.

It requires a maximum of littleness to achieve a minimum of greatness. The plans and specifications of a career starting from nothing have to be prepared j|y the architect of lortune with a strict attention to details, and a precise calculation as to the degree with which the edifice may be advanced without danger of its sudden collapse. Tricks cannot be played with the laws of physics, nor can liberties be taken with the social conditions, and the nobody who would become a somebody is doomed to failure just as much if he tries to evade those conventions as il he tried to carry them by storm. He must treat them with the greatest respect —even awe and reverence—and his deference must be no mere pretence but the real article. Nay, something more than the real article, something that envious and vulgar people soothe themselves by calling nasty, ugly names-But in civilization everything is justified by success, and the sneers of the mob are nothing to the man who has at last succeeded in getting the mob under the heel of his two guinea boot. How far these ingenious remarks apply to Sir Malcolm McEacharn no one, of course, knows excepting himself. If anyone were impertinent enough to question him on the subject he would probably reserve a complete answer, lor although Sir Malcolm may not be enthusiastic about his early struggles, he is certainly not ashamed of them, nor does he ever think it necessary to apologise for the circumstance that he is ambitious, and that in a most worldly sense.

It was during the great Maritime Strike of 1S90 that M. D. McEacharn iirst loomed up large in the eyes of the public. The revolt of the Unions had simply paralysed the ranks of Capital, until McEacharn in a memorable speech in the Athenasum Hall put fresh heart into them, it was a fighting speech, almost brutal in its frankness. Trades Hall tactics and politics got a scathing trouncing from which they have never completely recovered. Nor was this all. There appeared on the scene an English Socialist with a reputation.

Who does not remember the Socialist Advocate of those days ? The immaculately-dressed, monocled, second edition of Joseph Chamberlain—caricatured 1 Here was the man to lead Labour to victory. For had he not doffed the Queen’s uniform as a protest against unrighteous war ? Was he not the friend of John Burns, and had he not stood in the dock of Old Bailey charged with sedition ? In the spittal-spotted precincts of the Trades Hall all the hopes of Labour in him were fulfilled—in words. But, alas ! there was a Maison Dorcc as well as a Trades Hall, and thither McEacharn invited him to dinner. It was a master-stroke, and, in making the Socialist Advocate his own mouth-piece, Capitalist McEacharn achieved a double triumph—scotched a Socialist and stopped a strike.

At one time it looked as if McEacharn would never be forgiven his victory. His name became hated by the Unionists, whose resentment against their conqueror only became inflamed by the scorn and contempt with which he continued to treat their idols and their institutions. In his estimation the Trades Hall was a bogey, and its gods so many charlatans. Worse still, Ben Tilled—Alderman of the London County Council though he were and “Christ of Trade” to fanatical worshippers—was, in McEacharnese, a mere sporter of fustian ! The velvet-coated, long-haired cobbler-Soeialist was not even deemed important enough to be soothed with a Maisott Doree dinner 1 This was all gall and wormwood ter Labour, and invective was exhausted in denouncing the sacrilegious Mayor, who was held up to public contumely and scorn in a notorious Open Letter almost hot enough to melt the type with which it was printed. But McEacharn knew his men. He turned up at an Eight Hours Banquet, made a speech in favour of the eight hours principle, and got round after round of applause from the very men whom he had a few years back beaten and humiliated and had been insulting ever since. Of course he had his object, and admits it with a candour almost too characteristic to be resented. He wants a seat in the Federal Parliament, and, as he got his title by flattering and feasting Lord Brassey, so will he get votes by flattering the electors to the requisite extent. With him, ambition has kept pace with success, and his success has just been sufficiently leisurely to enable him to learn his part as he progressed, although just lately there has been just a suggestion of the lightning change artist in the facility with which he has cast off the armour of the fighter and put on the small clothes of the courtier.

11 a man like Sir Malcolm McEacharn had not exceptional ability he would, in his present positions, be like an onion among orchids. His social skill is admirable, and it must be admitted, even by those who have most cause to remember his one-time bumptious rudeness, that his manners are commencing to feel more ai home in their unaccustomed abode. The truth is, he has got beyond that stage of success in which discourtesy is a necessary weapon, and he also has almost gone past that point in his progress up to which it is effective to be theatrical, lie asserted his position as the Chief Magistrate and, to the disgust of some of the veterans and the amazement of drunks who dreaded D.T.'s., taking his furry gown for the form of a monstrous rabbit, presided at the City Court in all the glory of his mayoral robes. Nevertheless he has so graduated in good taste as to almost rank now as a judge upon il.

I le has come to the rescue of the haberdasher and the tailor. Hitherto, owing, among other influences, to smuggling butlers at the Melbourne Club and elsewhere, our aristocracy has swaggered around in London-made clothes, and there has been no encouragement to the tailor in Australia. The sartorial artist had done his best and dropped back in despair, seeing his most artistic and cherished creations only upon the backs of bookmakers. McEacharn, however, has set the fashion of being well dressed, and although he has hardly a fashionplate figure or the Grecian form of a Family Herald hero, he yet contrives to stand out conspicuously as one of (he best-dressed men about town.

Those of Sir Malcolm’s supporters who are not bound to carry the burden of his friendship, will succeed in putting him among the front rank of Australian public men, if only to thwart those who would most rejoice at his humiliation. For the Mayor is a man who has been helped immeasurably more by his foes than by his friends But now and then he has shown signs of self-exertion independently of his sponsors, and they have very quickly applied the curb. It did not matter very much when lie declined to grant the Town Hall to a crowd of hysteriatics who desired to make a public exhibition of themselves over the Dreyfus Case ; but when he also refused the hall to a Jingo group, who were clamorous to parrot the A He's ridicuously fiascoed “ Let Us Speak Out ” policy, he went perilously near to disaster. It should have shown him, as doubtless it did, that he will yet have to take a side in politics—a side in which he will either have the adulation of the Argus and the vituperation of the Age, or vice versa. Excepting from quarters where the penny whips of Socialism are cracked by amiable Fabians in simulated anger, he has not felt the lash of journalistic wrath, and it will be interesting to note to which rod he will have to bare his back. Up till now he has given no certain clue as to how he will answer the impending question, “ Under which King, Benvolio ? Speak now or be for ever silent !” Both sides have had reason to hope—the Conservatives on account of the past, the Liberals on account of his diplomatic utterances during his mayoralty. His Greater Melbourne scheme was promising, and his expression of opinion of the Gas Municipalising proposal that “ he could see that political progress must proceed more upon Socialistic than upon Conservative lines” was startling, although his squelching of (he May Daisies corrected the wild impression that he had been converted by the Tocsin.

Having noted Sir Malcolm’s social success, extending as it does throughout the realms of art, sport and sweet charity, it would be churlish to pass .the charming influence in it all of Lady McEacharn. A true womanly woman, her heart filled with a mother’s cares and affections, it was not easy for her to pose in public as Lady Bound-

i'ul, ;i part filled by her in private life with a naturalness and sweetness too sacred to be described. To a lady surcharged with the sense of honor, delicacy of feeling and conscience, it was a painful shock to find Society's associations with charity movements insoluble blended with a ■penchant for picking the till at bazaars and surrep-tiously transferring charity-given turkeys for home consumption. Hut experience, if it has not reconciled her conscience, has armoured her susceptibilities, and she can now listen, with no other sign of indignation than a smile of disdain, to aristocratic acts being dubbed “ eccentricity ” and “ kleptomania," which in lower strata of society would be brutally denounced as “ petty larceny " and 11 common theft."

With this sincere tribute to a lady who is genuinely loved for herself, we may leave Sir Malcolm. At this stage he may, with a glass of the best wine critically held up to the eye, present himself with a port-coloured past in which such grimy incidents as smart dealings in black and other diamonds assume a roseate hue, more to be smiled at than repented of. Add to the tint of wine the wreaths of a cigar, and the past becomes still more picturesquely hazy, the sordidness of it even assuming the shape of a Dick Whittingtonian romance, and the pushful goaheadedness, and the brushing aside of impediments resolve themselves into chivalrous strength of character, liven these three years of mayoralty, municipal llunkeyism as they necessarily have been for a large part, must in their turn be swept into the vista of a past which requires wine-tints and cigar-smoke to make it picturesque.


McHOGANS SCHEME.

(For The Outpost.)

Ginger Johnson was a battler rare and prime,

He could beat a Scotch Jew silly every time. Where another man would freeze,

He could sun himself at ease,

But he had the common failing of a man who deals in “ think,”

And the way he always tumbled in was through the cursed drink.

He was at the town of Goornong for a while,

And he dressed and drank and lived in slashing style;    *

But to make a proper splash,

And to raise some ready cash,

He got a score of cheque forms and he satisfied each claim,

By signing all the documents with Pat MeHogan’s name.

Pat McHogan was as stiff as any crutch,

Not a cent of his did Goornong ever touch ;

But the yarn that Ginger spun,

It convinced them every one That McHogan had a fortune, so they tumbled up to pay,

For Ginger was as plausible as any M L.A.

He’d arranged to take shirroker, but instead He looked upon ttie wine when it was red ;

And the banks declined to pay,

So the p'lice took Ginger J.

Then they called on Pat McHogan and they said, “ He’s wrote your name

I’o cheques, an’ we have put him in for utterin’ the same.”


C E L E B R A T I N G M AFEKIN G (Saturday Night).

OH ! WILLIAM ! HAVE YOU BEEN MAKING A STtJPIIJ OF YOUSELK LIKE THE REST ? WILLIAM : OH ! DE'k, NO M’ DEAR ! SHIMPLY BROUGHT HOME FEW LlV PRESENTS F’R CHILDREN.


11 Fetch him out,” said Pat McHogan, “fetch him out,

He’s the genius of his age without a doubt.

If he puts my paper through,

It is more than I can do—

If he’ll join me as a partner there’s a fortune for the two,

I'll go on signing cheques for him to cash till all is blue.”

But the scheme was doomed to falter and to fail, For (hey carted Ginger Johnson off to jail ;

While Pat McHogan cried That he wished that he had died,

Ere he lived to meet the anguish of the awful direful day

When Fortune held a cup to him, then dashed the cup away.

J.H.Y.

The League Executive are still struggling on in their old haphazard way. When a meeting is called for 8 p.m., the last member required to form a quorum generally struggles in about 9 o’clock. Meanwhile the new members, who really do wish to take an interest in League affairs, sit in a cheerless room, and gazing blankly into space fervently wish that the League had never existed for them.

According to the Cycle Age :—“ Pretoria, with a white population of about 17,000, has more than 3000 cyclists. Even the telegraph boys use them. The streets are of red and brown macadam, and are kept in splendid condition. There are about eight cycle stores, and also two small factories or assembling shops. There are seven cycling clubs and one of them has a five lap track, where amateur races are often given.”

. . . A TIDE IN . . . THE AFFAIRS OF MAN.


(For the Outpost.)

A GLANCE down the last list of members in ZA the police force, issued by the Chief Secre. ^ tary, shows that there is a sudden jump from -Vo. 6053 to Vo. 6055, where the '99 list mentioned Vo. 6054, Patrick Michael Gannigan, senior constable. Yet the owner of the name has not been gathered to his fathers. Down in the vestibule of the Stock Exchange, he may be seen any afternoon buying for a rise or a bluff with the best of them. He resigned his position on 29th. of last August, when he was in charge of the station at Gingin Gallock.

Senior-Constable Gannigan's promotion to that township had been brought about mainly by the constables on his section, who swore solemnly that the funny way his moustache bristled was due to his frequent kissing of the Bible, to commit perjury at police enquiries. He had appeared at these in every role. Most often as prosecutor against subordinates for trifling breaches of discipline. Occasionally as defendant, when some over-confident constable had thought to have him on the hip. Senior-Constable Gannigan was not popular and, at last, when seven constables supported the word of a prisoner against his, the Department concluded that the interests of Justice would be better served by a promotion to a country station.

Strange to say, he did not take his transfer kindly. Like all policemen, he was a dabbler in mining stocks, and though Gingin Gallock was only a few miles from a rising mining field, the centre of speculation was too far from SeniorConstable Gannigan for his liking. There was no excitement in the place. Drunkenness was the only charge ever laid, and, in place of working a section and bullying recruits, he had the laborious and inglorious job of administering the Truancy Act, the Thistle Act, the Rabbit Act, and other laws designed for the annoyance of country policemen.

The monotony preyed upon him. Senior-Constable Gannigan grew worried and became almost as unpopular in Gingin Gallock as he had been in his city section. There was a sudden stoppage in the presents a country township always showers upon its policeman, and people grew sarcastic about his working his own plot of ground in the Government's time. Senior-Constable Gannigan felt inclined to retaliate, and one night was so exasperated that he nearly made the awful mistake of arresting a shire councillor. It was while things were in this embarrassed condition that the Gingin Gallock races fell due. The excitement turned public attention from Senior-Constable Gannigan, and he was almost reinstated in the estimation of the township, when it saw him proudly pacing the railway station on the eventful morning. The Melbourne train drew up crowded, and emptied on the platform the dregs of Bourke-street. Darby Brown, the boss of the spielers, was there with Black Caesar as a bodyguard. A score of lesser lights followed, and bringing up the rear was little Claude Duval, the champion welsher of all Australia, his marvellous hook nose, hanging over an immense bag inscribed “Joe Lazarus, Reg. V.A.T.C.” on the front. Claude did not show the reverse of that plate which gave the owner as “ Little Teddy Walker, Reg. A.J.C.,” or the opposite side of the bag itself, which bore the names of “ Young Joe Thompson, of England,’’ and “Jim White, the Sailor.’’ Claude Duval had been to the races at Gingin Gallock 12 months before this, and had duly welshed the inhabitants out of every shilling. A spieler of less audacity would have feared to return to the scene of possible trouble. Not so with Claude. He was a little insignificant scrap of a man. Anybody could punch him, but strange to stay, nobody ever did. He simply turned his name plate and went back for the next harvest.

Senior-Constable Gannigan stood on the platform and smiled as they went by. He knew them to a man—and their game better than he knew them. He thought out a scheme and took the two constables who had been sent up for the races into his confidence.

“ Git a dozen av the boys yer can thrust," he ordered, “ an’ have ’em ready to assist us afther the big race av the day.’’

The constables grinned and nodded and did their work well. By four o’clock they had three spring carts and ten strapping members of the local mounted rifle corps hiding in the scrub near the station. Gingin Gallock was roaring its lungs out over the victory of the favourite as they saw. on the one side, the smoke of the approaching train, and on the other a line of men leaving the gate of the racecourse—a line that looked like a track of ants at the distance. As it drew near Black Catsar could be discerned in the van, and at the rear Claude Duval ran brealhelessly beneath the burden of a heavily laden bag. Behind him was a bare patch of red road a quarter of a mile long and then appeared a mass of excited Gingin Gallockers yelling and swearing and threatening.

Senior-Constable Gannigan viewed all this from the security of the scrub, and as Black C;esar bul-locked along to pass he stepped out and closed with him. The two constables and ten civilians followed suit, and inside of five minutes such of the Bourke-street gang of spielers who were not handcuffed, were tied up with hayband, for all Gingin Gallock to gloat over.

There was a joyous procession back to the watchhouse. The senior constable led, with a pile of bookmaker’s bags under the seat, the prisoners followed, and behind them came the township, the stewards of the race meeting and half a dozen of the jockeys still wearing their colours.

There was no difficulty about charging the prisoners. The swindled Gingin Gallockers were in plenty and eight of the leading welshers of the city were charged with larceny, while a sum of ¿121 2s. qd. was taken from their bags and lodged in the little iron safe of the police station.

That night Gingin Gallock feted its heroes. The two visiting policemen were made blind drunk and Senior-Constable Gannigan was escorted home by a rolling crowd singing “ He’s a Jolly Good Fellow.” Then such of Gingin Gallock as could find it’s way home went to its bed and had been there two hours when the firebell rayg out and brought the township to its doors. The police station on the hill was a mass of flames. The local brigade ran out the reel and arrived there just in time to see Senior-Constable Gannigan plunge into the middle of the burning mass and release the prisoners from their embarrassing position. The crowd took up the chorus again and even little Claude Duval raised the voice with which he was wont to offer a long price. Then they watched the police station slowly burn and crumble in until it was nothing but a flat waste of grey and glowing ashes.

The courage of Senior-Constable Gannigan was compared with that of all the heroes of history in the special issue of the Gingin Gallock Echo. He bore his laurels with dignity, and assisted to search for the £121 2s.qd., which had somehow escaped from the blackened and twisted remains of the safe. But all in vain. The destruction of the money, like the origin of the fire, remained unexplained, but the heroism of Senior-Constable Gannigan was trumpeted through the land.

The Chief Commissioner was deeply affected by the story, and said that Senior-Constable Gannigan was too brave a man to be wasting his time in the police force. His resignation would be accepted. Senior-Constable Gannigan took the hint.

Michael Nod.

Mr. Robt. McCullagh was elected Secretary of the Melbourne Bicycle Club, on Tuesday night last, by 221 votes, to Mr. Manning’s 106. The polling was steady all day, and unusual interest was manifested in the contest.

It has been decided that if one competitor wins both the 25 and 50 mile League road contests, he shall be styled the road champion of Victoria.

At their last meeting the League granted patronage for an inter-club contest for a trophy presented by A. Streeton, of the Cyclists Hotel, Campbellfield. The first event will be held on Saturday, 23rd. June, and will be prior to the League Championship events.

THE

RELIEF OF MAFEKING.

(Obligations to Tennyson.)

(For Thk Oi tpost.)

Banner of England, not through the ages, 0 banner of England, hast thou

htouted in honour so proudly over a battle-crv ! Merer with mightier glory have tliy lovers reared thee on high

Than when on the top of the Matching roofs we placed thee with a vow

Of no surrender.With show'ring bullets they pierced thee through and through,

But cvet upon the topmost roof our banuei of England blew.

Scarce had we started to build up the forts of our desolate town,

I han the treacherous loe from each corner swept savagely down ;

But our leader was a man among millions, and led us right well

As we fought for our homes, for our Nation, like demons of Hell.

Not alone against Mauser or Maxim, that fought in our sight,

Against the foul traitors among us who stabbed in the night.

Spies they had many among us, their marksmen were told of our best,

So that the brute bullet broke through the brain that could think for the rest.

Firing at dying, and firing at wounded, for often there fell,

Striking the hospital wall, crashing thro’ it their shot and their shell,

Firing at women and children, storming the convent walls,

Death from their Dum-Dum bullets, and death from the Creuzot balls,

Death in our narrow trenches, and death in our houses and halls—

But ever upon the topmost roof the banner of England blew.

Day after day the long-drawn months they charged with a fearsome yell,

And still on all The defences our myriad enemy fell ;

Handful of men as we were, we were British in heart and in limb,

Each of us fought as if hope for the garrison hung but on him.

Ever the fighting of fifty that had to be done by five,

Ever the marvel among us that one should be left alive.

But alas ! though we fought like tigers, and beat them at every fight,

There was one gaunt foe within us who was lighting with deadly might,

’Twas the demon of sheer starvation that ravaged our dauntless crew,

He might win though the seething bullets could never our ranks subdue,

But ever upon the topmost roof our banner of England blew.

Hark cannonade, fnsilade! it is true wlial was told by the. scout,

There on the shining kopje, list to then jubilant shun I,

Robei Is glorious soldiers, hark to tltcii conquering cheeis,

The voice of the English yeoman is ringing again in our ears.

The enemy flying at Iasi, 0 glorious sigh. to the. eye, And ever aloft on the Mafeking roofs, will the banner of England fly.

A first-class imported bicycle ai £\2 ios. is being offered by The Melbourne Sports Depot, in the “ Rover” (Lady’s and Gent’s, models), and the “Sterling” (Gent’s, models). The stocks of these mounts are not being replenished, and therefore the offer cannot be kept open indefinitely. New Season’s “ Sterling’s” (Lady’s and Gent's, models} are expected in shortly, and it is understood that nothing like them has been .seen before in the colony. *

CLERGYMAN : MY GOOD MAN, 11 SWEAR NOT AT ALL.”

Navvy : no ¡¡loomin' ekar guv’nor. i’m takin' ’em one at a time.


NOT EQU A L TO I T.

SHIFTING SCENES.

No. 2.

THE ARTIST AND THE CRITIC.

Mr. Douglas Dai'mgny : An Artist. Mr. Critias Carper : A Critic.

Scene : At "Lancs."

■(Mr. Daubigny is solicit in a big arm-chair idly turning over the leaves ofSketchand sipping absinthe. Enter Mr. Carper.

Critias Carper : Whew, I’ve just been up to the

Victorian Artists--(to waiter) Black coffee,

please.

Dol'd,as Daohkiny : It seems to have strained your intellect.

C. C. : It might have only 1 took a run round the

photographers’ show-cases as an antidote.

D. D. : Art is not afraid of the camera.

C. C. : No, judging by results 1 should imagine the

camera was an amiable ally rather than a serious rival of Art.

D. D. (with a yawn) : “ Art is long--”

C. C. : Long-suffering. So are the public.

D. D. : Bah, the public ! It is only fit to write

cheques—the siucerest form of criticism.

C. C.: Ah, that explains your grudge against

criticism. You don’t get enough of it.

D. D.: Do you know, Carper, it’s a wonder a man

of your genius doesn’t try to earn an honest living. You ought to print an oleograph, write an “ In Memorial»” poem, or, or-”

C. C. : A sermon, eh ? Ah, no, my dear fellow.

You see we critics know what we can’t do, and don’t waste time and worry the world by trying to do it. .Also, though you mightn’t think so, we have a respect for Nature.

D. D.: H’m. Nature's a mere amateur. Creation

of course counts for nothing !

C.C. : O yes, in the beginning. For instance, when criticism created Art it gave a not very

industrious but very deserving class a chance of earning a living.

D.D. : And afflicted the race with the plague of critics. Art is the only excuse they have for existence.

C. C. : I admit the excuse.

D. D. : Really, old chap, I’ve often wondered how

it is that fellows like you can talk so much when you know so little. You’re all intellect and ignorance without a scrap of instinct.

C. C. : Dear me, you are becoming quite interest

ing.

D. D. : You must have a logical reason for every

belief. You drink black coffee because-

C. C. : It agrees with my liver.

D. D. : Precisely, on mere vulgar grounds-

C. C.: Coffee grounds.

D. D. : But why do 1 drink absinthe ? Is it be

cause I like it, or because it agrees with some part of my anatomy ? No, it is because it is so pretty. *

C. C. : Then 1 suppose you would eat 11 Rough on

Rats” because it is phosphorescent ?

D. D. : Absinthe is opalescent, and its pale-blue

taste-

C. C. : It’s what taste ?

D. D. : Pale-blue, I said. Its pale-blue taste is like

a kiss upon the epiglottis.

C. C. : Dear me ! Now you know it always struck

me as being like aniseed balls.

D. D. : Yes, it naturally would, just as black coffee

Strikes me as being a spring landscape in black sienna. You outsiders never seem to be able to grasp the idea that Art is not an Achievement. It is an Intention.

C. C. : Would you mind saying that again ?

D. D. : It would have no effect if I did, but I’ll try

to explain it. When fellows like you are doing what you call criticising, you keep harping on the mere picture, as if that were the chief consideration.

C .C.: Oil see. You feel for the frames.

D.D. : It isn’t what the artist has expressed that’s vital, it is what he intended to express—his soul, his Intention.

C. C. : Then the Amateur is justified, and Johnson

was flattering Hell when he said it was paved with good intentions. He meant pictures.

D. D. : That’s criticism all over. When it can’t be

sensible it tries to be funny. It’s never satisfied unless it hurts.

C. C. : Really you misjudge us. It is because we

are so often pained that we seem cruel.

D. D. : Good gracious, so sensitiveness is the soul

of Criticism ! Ha ! ha 1 that’s damned good !

C. C. : 'Tis only too true. Do you know f some

times think the very canvas must feel hurt at the sins it often has to carry.

D. D. : It has often been a problem to me whether

the average reader realiy deserves the stuff you fellows give him. My sympathy's with him. True criticism is true sympathy, and Art itself is the only Criticism ; the Artist the only Critic.

C. C. : Don’t go on like that, my dear fell aw.

Someone might hear you and they’d think you mad. You mean that Criticism is the only Art: the Critic the only Artist.

D. D. ; O, so you’ll deny that Criticism depends on

Art ?

C. C. : I go so far as to argue that there’s no such

human thing as Art. Art is divine and began and ended at midnight on the sixth day of Creation. Criticism—which is essentially human—began on the seventh.

D. D. : Bah ! Damn ! Fool !

(Rises in disgust and rushes out.)

C.C. : Poor Daubigny, he does take things so seriously! What a pity artists haven’t got some sense of humour. H’m I 'but I suppose they would not be artists if they had. (To waiter) Another cup of coffee, please, and cigar.

[Curtain.7]

T H E " 0 P. E N D O O R ’’ A G A I N.

'Colonel Mahon: how do, old chap. Sorry to keep y >r waiting, but were all very glad to see you again.

BaDEN-PoWELL : THANKS. YOU’RE UP TO TIME, THOUGH. Wfc'VE KEPT OUR END Up HERE ALL RIGHT, BUT WHAT I WANT JUST NOW IS A SQUARE MEAL AND A SMOKE.

fresh f ue! to the patriotic fire which consumed the audience. On Saturday night “ The Pirates of Penzance ” will be reproduced, and will introduce the well-known London soprano, Miss Ada Win-ston-Weir, to Australia.

In the interval there was an opportunity to view the newly decorated theatre, and the transformation that has been effected in so few days evoked nothing but amazement and admiration. The effect is dazzling, being just a blaze of gold and glitter which gives a warmth to the auditorium sadly lacking in olden days. Mr. Phil Goatcher and his talented assistants deserve the highest praise for their work, which in design and execution could hardly be surpassed. The two figures on each side of the proscenium, the Drama by Mr. Xonnan Lindsay, and Music by Mr. Lionel Lindsay, are excellently painted, and are conspicuous features in the general scheme of decorations. Altogether, Mr. J. C. Wiliiamson and his staff are to be heartily congratulated and thanked for their splendid achievement.

The versatility of Mr. Charles Arnold’s Comedy Company will be exemplified in the forthcoming production of “ The Professor’s Love Story ” at the Princess’s Theatre. The play, which is by j. M. Barrie, well-known as the author of “ The Little Minister,” etc., in a three-act comedy, the fun of which is of quite a different kind from that which constitutes “ What Happened to Jones ” The charm and wit of its dialogue and its pretty, human story have been compared by Mr. Clement Scott to the “ Caste ” and “ Ours ” of T. W. Robertson, and the eminent critic wrote of it when it was first produced at the Comedy Theatre, London, that it would charm the audiences of to-day as much as did Robertson’s plays the audiences ol the time when they were written. The Professor is introduced in his study in London as “ an old young man,” and, in the second act, grows younger still in a harvest-time wheat field on an estate in Scotland. Six hours later he is quite rejuvenated in his cottage at Tullochmain’s, his love story being very prettily told by shadows on the cottage blind. Mr. Arnold secured the Australian rights in the play from Mr. W. S. Willard, and will play the part of the Professor, while the other members of the company have suitable parts allotted to them.

“ What Happened to Jones” continues to be such a great attraction at the Princess’s Theatre that no definite date for a change of bill has so far been fixed.

Mr. William Anderson has good reason to be pleased with his dramatic venture at the Theatre Royal. “The Ladder of Life” goes with more verve than ever, and the fresh wave of patriotic fervour that lias swept over the country gives an added zest to this animated production.

Miss Nance O'Neil, the beautiful young American tragedienne, will make her first bow in Melbourne at Her Majesty’s on Saturday week in “ Magda.” During the season “ Queen Elizabeth,” once magnificently staged at the Bijou by the Mageronis, the “ School for Scandal,” “ Oliver Twist,” “ Peg Woffington," “Camille” and “The Jewess” will be produced.

I am delighted to see the announcement of Herr Benno Scherek’s Winter Orchestral Concerts at the Melbourne Town Hall. Last year the series proved an artistic treat, and were in all respects a success.

Garrick.


AN IMPOSTER.

(For The Outpost).

I HAD been to the theatre that night to amuse myself with melodrama, and already had an optical acquaintance with the back of his hair, which was prominently agressive in the orchestra, where he played a violin.

So when he entered the bar after the performance it wasn’t only the fiddle case he carried that informed me of his identity After the informal introduction of a suggested drink we made Some insulting remarks to the weather—which, fortunately for us was outside—and to promote the kindliness of the occasion I gracefully ignored the baleful merits of the play. Something—possibly beer, possibly theatrical allusion—turned the conversation to stars, and I was immediately the dreadful amateur at home with his subject.

As a mere youth I had been greatly impressed with the si/.e of the universe, and my admiration had even gone further than a text-book. 1 had been admitted as an acolyte to an observatory, where 1 had crapulously worshipped (almost on iny knees) the Gargantuan dimensions of the great telescope. Six months of this fetishism cured me of any siderial tendencies, but 1 have since thought tenderly of the time, and whenever the subject of stars has been introduced (say in a pub.) it has been a singular pleasure for my vanity to protrude my practical experience The intimacy of my knowledge unbuttoned the overcoat of his soul and he revealed himself.

“ No—Yes,” he said, he was an astrologer ; he practised the black arts.

“ But surely,” I said, •' that’s all as out of date as the dodo ?”

11 Oh, no ! ” and beset me right with a kindly condescension and informed me officially of the existence of several hundred societies for the use of stars. Then with the depravity of an enthusiast, he increased my knowledge hv an en-cyclopediac article on the ravishing subject.

We reiterated drinks—11 The same again, please?" — until, in the clear, logical light of liquor, the possibility of a lost truth dawned on me.

After all, who was I -a mere positivist—at best a beast ! Might there not, O, Horatio, lie something in this star business that my mild materialism wotted not of ? And 1 inclined in the deeps of mental sympathies to this strange man, this

astrologer, this reader of destinies.....

“ But stay,” he cried. “ There is one who has understood, who has touched the arcana of our mystery ; one who has revealed our wondrous science to the world,”—and his eyes lit with a strange seraphic lire—“the most exquisite, the most wonderful writer of our century. I will lend you this book.” And he left the bar.

Strangely and voluminously interested, 1 waited die return of his taste in literature and the exposition of the creed, expectant and anxious.

In a few minutes he returned bearing a book, which lie placed reverently in my hands. Eagerly 1 sought its title. 1 read it.

It wasArdath,” by Marie Corelli.

L.L.

“A GOOD KNIGHT HE.”

Resolute in heart and brain,

Sparing naught of toil and pain,

Definite success to gain :

There the picture fades.

Bike a mountain towering high, Sternlv'powerful to the sky,

But upon whose breast there lie Morning light and evening shades.

H.E.W.

In the last two Austral Wheel Races it will be remembered that Massey-Harris riders secured two firsts and one second, and have been steadily winning most of the principal events since. Their latest victory was most brilliant and complete when Xewhaven Jackson, Wilksch and Beauchamp won the whole of the three prizes offered in connection with the Druids’ Wheel Race of 200 sovereigns. *

On Saturday night I hardly knew whether I was a war correspondent, a Union Jack, or just as per usual an ordinary dramatic critic. Mafeking was so much in the public mind that there seemed to be no room for anything else, and when at last, after considerable buffeting and invitations to break forth into loyal song, Her Majesty’s Theatre was reached, the fever was found there as strong as elsewhere. 1 have liad experience of a few memorable nights in Melbourne theatres, the welcome to Sarah Bernhardt being perhaps the finest, but there lias never been an opening of a season that came anywhere near that of Saturday night. The auditorium was literally red, white and blue with little Hags, and every opportunity was made appropriate for outbursts of cheering and patriotic songs. At one time it looked as it “ Pinafore" wouldn’t get a show at all, and it was a happy inspiration to precede the “ legitimate ” with a set of songs soloed by Mr. Wallace Brown-low and chorussed by the vast crowd which packed the immense theatre from wall to wall and ceiling to floor.

At last the audience, breathless and feeling like taking a spell, settled down to listen to the opera. The performance simply went like a hurricane from start to finish, and criticism was abashed at the enthusiasm which swept every judicial faculty to the right-about. It certainly was not the classical “ Pinafore” of old, replete with satire and artistic in its clean-cut and gagless dialogue, but was a sort of burlesque which, in such an atmosphere was a complete success. All the mock patriotism of the songs was taken literally, and there was no thought of smiling at the thrust at jingoism contained in the well-known lines :—

For he himself has said it And it’s greatly to his credit,

That he is an Englishman,

He is an Englishman !

And in spite of all temptations To belong to other nations,

He remains an Englishman,

He remains an Englishman !

It was the sentiment of the hour. To be an Englishman was every man’s pride on Saturday, and it was a pride recklessly daunted without even a momentary fear of the proverbial fall that is said to wait upon that mortal sin.

1 don’t suppose “ Pinafore ” was ever more joyously performed, and certainly it has never been played by a better company. With Mr. Lauri as Sir Joseph Porter, Mr. Brownlow as Captain Corcoran, Mr. Kenningham as Jack Rackstrau, Mr. Shine as the Bos un, Mr. Ward as Dick Deadeye, Miss Dorothy Vane as Buttercup, and Miss Carrie Moore as Josephine, it would he hard, indeed, to suggest any improvement. 1 thought, however, that Miss Vane's make-up was a needless sacrifice of picturesqueness to the original satire of the part. Like many similar characters in the Gilbert-Sullivan operas, “ Dear Little Buttercup ” was written to emphasise the bulkiness of Miss Alice Barnett, and it was hopeless for such a dainty little dot like Miss Vane to approach anywhere near even a mere suggestion of the elephantine other lady. She might have appeared as a real Dear Little Buttercup, without in anyway shocking the traditions. Mr. Lauri and other of the principals were by no means so scrupulous, and gagged away with great success, a circumstance that reminds me of an authoritive, but rather astonishing, statement made recently in the London Press that the hitherto supersensitive Mr. Gilbert now no longer objects to departures from the texts of his librettos. As an addendum to the opera a number of effective war pictures were presented by what is called the Anglo-American Bio-Tableau, and they served as

PRINCESS THEATRE.

EVERY EVENING.

Charles Arnold

and his English Comedy Company. 340 nights at the Strand Theatre, London.

WHAT HAPPENED TO JONES.

Preceded by AN EMPTY STOCKING.

Box Plan at Allan’s, where seats can be booked 6 weeks in advance.    L. J. Lohr, Mngr.

Dear Muriel,—In spite of the supposed dulness of the winter season and the lack of entertainments on a large scale, the most enterprising among the younger members of society may often have a pleasant evening by joining forces after dinner at the house of some mutual friend, who possesses a ball-room, and having a small dance among themselves. This, I hear, has been already done, and seems a good idea, for it is a little hard on girls who are just “ out,” and who still consider a dance of any size or kind the height of enjoyment, to be debarred from their favourite pastime, partly from the natural prejudices of “ Mamma,” who does not care for her daughters to go exclusively to subscription dances, and partly because so many hostesses are reserving their forces until the long-looked-forward-to home coming of “ My son, Tom,” or “my brother, Harry,” from the seat of war. I think the joyful news of the relief of Mafeking ought to cause even anxious relatives to blossom forth into a few thanksgiving entertainments in anticipation of the good time to come. The only form of rejoicing which seemed to commend itself to one’s friends on Saturday was buying and waving innumerable small flags. No one seemed to think it beneath them to carry a flag, and I was both touched and amused to see nice old ladies toddling along the streets in the mud and rain trying to hold up their skirts with one hand, while in the other firmly grasping a toy flag. The first intimation which I had, came to me as somewhat of a shock, for, on emerging from a shop, where I had been spending most of the morning, my attention was arrested by a fashionable society man on a passing tram, who held a flag which he waved towards me enthusiastically. I then realised that something unusual had happened, as I had never ever made his acquaintance. Another amusing incident was the amazement of two well-known Melbourne ladies, who having stopped to congratulate each other in Collins-street, were sternly requested by a policeman to 11 move on.” Their jaws dropped and they regarded him with as much consternation as if Kruger had appeared before them in the flesh;; it was quite two minutes before they had sufficiently recovered to “ move.”

* * *

The first of the series of musical “ At Homes ’> inaugurated by Mrs. Frank Stephen, was held at “ Oma,” the residence of Mrs. Wesley-Hall, on Monday, 14th. inst. There was a large attendance, the members numbering about 150, and as each member was allowed to bring a friend by procuring an extra ticket, their must have been considerably over that number present. After being received by Mrs. Wesley-Hall, everyone proceeded to the drawing-room where the programme began with a piano and violin duet by Madame' and Miss Summerhayes. Miss Minnie Tree Chapman sang “ Path’s Waltz Song,” and afterwards a duet with Mr. Chas. Rose, “A Night in Venice.” Mr. Horace Stephen and Mr. Rose also contributed solos. “Say Yes,” sung by Mr. Rose, is a light and taking little song, and suits his voice particularly well. Mrs. Rose played the accompaniments to her husband’s songs in a tasteful and sympathetic manner.

In the interval, refreshments were served in the dining-room, and the opportunity thus afforded for small talk was made full use of by those present. The decorations of pot-plants, pink roses, and autumn leaves were effective. Everyone seemed pleased with their afternoon’s entertainment, only those who could not get chairs showed slight symptoms of discontent, and, after all, one must excuse them as it is a little trying to stand for a whole afternoon in a hot room listening to music,

still, one can hardly expect a private house to provide chairs for 200 people. There were many pretty gowns. Mrs. Hall received in a pretty black bengaline, much tucked, with black sequin trimming on the bodice. Her sister, Miss Dempster, wore a shade of art blue bengaline, with white satin yoke, covered with guipure lace and black picture hat. Mrs. Frank Stephen wore a grey cloth costume, with white satin yoke, smart toque, of blue and mauve satin ribbon.

Among those present were Lady Sargood, Lady Wrixon, Mrs. Balls-Headley, Mrs. Leonard, Mrs.

H. M. Chomley, Mrs. Arthur Moule, Mrs. and Miss Poolman, Mrs. Joshua, Mrs. Rothwell Adam, Mrs. Howard Willoughby, Mrs. R. Govett, Mrs. Hol-royd, Miss Caroline Holroyd, Mrs. and Miss Brush, Mrs. Dunbar Hooper, Mrs. Howard New-bigin, Mrs. John Guoner, Mrs. W. S. Coldham, the Misses Fisken, Mrs. Norman Armytage, Mrs. Daley, Mrs. Padwick, Miss Fenner, Mrs. and Miss Carrington, Mrs. and Miss Kiddle, Miss Bartrop, Miss Harper, Miss Muir, Mrs. Musgrove, Mrs. Chadwick, Mrs. Blanch, Miss Greig, Mrs. Boyd.

A number of the friends of Mademoiselle Iona Dreyfus, who left Melbourne in the French mail steamer, Ville de la Ciotat, on Thursday, May 17th, assembled at the Vienna Café on the previous Wednesday to wish her good-bye. Janet Lady Clarke, on behalf of the subscribers, presented Mademoiselle Dreyfus with a handsome Australian opal brooch, expressing in a short speech the regret of those assembled at her departure. Mile. Dreyfus intends to spend two years in Paris, after which she will probably return to Melbourne.

A most successful meeting was held by Lady Clarke at “ Cliveden,” on Wednesday, 16th inst., when arrangements were made with regard to the skating evening to be held at the South Yarra Rink on the 15th June. There were present, Lady Sargood, Mrs. H. Emmerton, Mrs. Hodges, Miss Guthrie, Mrs. James Murphy, Mrs. Quick, Mrs. Trapps, Madame De Jardin, Mrs. Lowers, Mr. and Mrs. Frank Dobson, Mr. Fred. Youl, Mr. F. Young, Mr. A. S. Dennis, and a great many of the Time and Talents members. The object of the evening is to assist the Time and Talents stall at the bazaar in aid of the Children’s Hospital.

Mrs. H. Emmerton and Miss Bullivant were elected secretaries, and tickets can be obtained from them, or any of the above ladies and gentlemen and also at the South Yarra Rink. Lady Clarke has kindly offered a prize for the best lady skater, and Lady Sargood for the best man skater. There will be a good band to play during the evening, and it is much hoped that it will be made a success by a good attendance of the public.

* * *

Three well-known Sydney girls, who no doubt find their own part of the world rather slow under existing circumstances, are staying jn Melbourne at present. Miss Margaret Cox, who was lately bridesmaid at her cousin’s wedding, is staying with Mrs. Armytage, at “ Como,” Miss M. Docker, with Mrs. H. B. Higgins, and Miss M. Blomfield is visiting her sister, Mrs. F. Osborne, at the Victoria Barracks.

I hear that Mr. Chas. Rose, the well-known vocalist, is trying to start an Acetylene Gas Company. Mr. Rose’s pleasant and genial manner has made him popular as a man as well as a songster. He is constantly to be met with at musical gatherings and afternoon “ At Homes," where he is always accompanied by his pretty and charming wife.

* * *

The Grace Park Tennis Club will hold their Annual Ball in the Hawthorn Town Hall, on Tuesday, June 19th.

* * *

The St. Kilda Yacht Club Ball will be held in the St. Kilda Town Hall on Wednesday, June 20lh.

There was a large assemblage of ladies at “Cliveden” on the afternoon of Thursday, 17th, by the invitation of Janet Lady Clarke, to meet the Bishop of Tasmania (Dr. Montgomery), who is travelling through the colonies at present in connection with the Australian Board of Missions. Lady Clarke received her friends in the drawing.-room, where they were joined by the Bishop of Tasmania and the Bishop of Melbourne, and all adjourned to the concert-room, where an address was given by Dr. Montgomery, and Mrs. I veils gave an account of her experience of mission work m New Guinea, The chair was taken by the Bishop of Melbourne, and the Rev. Evelyn Snodgrass acted as secretary. Tea was provided at the close of the meeting, and many ladies present made the acquaintance of the guest of the afternoon. Among the guests were Mrs. Goe, Mrs. and Miss Vance, Mrs. S. '1'. Staughlon, Mrs. Scion Williams, Mrs. Colin Templeton, Mas Jas. Murphy, Mrs. Arthur Moule, Mrs. Howard Willoughby, Mrs. Rothwell Adam, Mrs. II. Emmerton, Mrs-Quick, Mrs. Chas. Guthrie, Miss ]. Grice, Miss G-Snodgrass.

* * *

The Homoeopathic Hospital Ball was held in the Melbourne Town Hall on Thursday, May 17th. Pale blue and pink draperies decorated the balconies, and the stage looked pretty with pot plants and greenery. Although there was a good attendance the room did not seem so well filled as last year. His Excellency (he Lieut.-Governor and Lady Madden were present, also Janet Lady Clarke, Col. and Mrs. Bingham, Sir Arthur Snowden and Major-General Downes. The officers from the Japanese war-ships now in port were quite a feature of the evening, though they did not seem to enter with great spirit into the proceedings but stood in a small group surveying the dancers and looking somewhat lost. When individual members were led out and introduced to any lady present they would bow with great politeness and then retire with celerity, disclaiming with bows and gestures the honour of a chair, Doodah's band supplied the dance music and the supper was provided by Mr. II. Skinner.

Talking of card games, there is an old game lately revived, which seems to have found favour with card-lovers to a marvellous extent. I allude to Picquet, and I have a grievance with regard to it, for twice lately when asked out to spend the evening have I beheld with wrath and indignation the most attractive young man present carried off, a willing victim, by some designing girl, and remain seated opposite her at the picquet table, whence I hear disjointed exclamations of “ quart.” “rubicund,” “pique," “You’re the older hand,” “ Yes, you are.” I felt that even as a non-player I could have told them something about pique, but as they seemed quite absorbed in each other I treated them with the silent contempt which I felt they deserved.

* * *

It is wonderful what an interest most women take in gardening and what a favourite topic it is, especially with young housekeepers who have lately started gardens of their own. The exasperating eccentricities of bulbs under different circumstances can even rival, as a subject, the ailments of the baby, or the shortcomings of the maids. I know no better way to ingratiate myself with many women of my acquaintance than by telling them when and how to get some new variety of plant, or by putting them up to some useful wrinkle in the management of their small plot of ground. Great, indeed, is their gratitude if presented with a moist and earthy root of some favourite treasure. The partiality which women have in this direction is shown by the large attendance of women of all ages at Mr. Luffnan’s Horticultural Class. The class now includes about sixty lady pupils and the proportion of men is much less. Three times a week the class assembles, regardless of wet or fine weather, and after a short lecture on gardening matters, practical illustrations are given, and practical work done by the pupils. Great stress is laid upon he mixing of different soils, and the orchard and vegetable garden receive just as much attention as the more showy, but less practically useful flower-garden. With so many experts turned loose in our midst, we may look forward hopefully to some day in the future when Melbourne may change its unflattering soubriquet of the “ City of Smells," under which we have writhed for so long, to the “City of Gardens.”

Dorothea.

[•K CIVIL H U T O H V I O U S. Wheelman : Dons 1'iiis Road Go Through thk Park ?

Bilious Loaeee : No. Over It.


rulings. He gave them. As decisions on matters of public procedure they were unique, but the late Customs Minister smiled and talked agreeably and pulled them through. He did it entirely off his own bat. A meeting of experienced men would lave moved him out of the chair immediately, but he H011. Best had the measure of the experience

Chairman of Committees told him on the day of that evening (May 15th) that tiie Committee objected to the nomination. Therefore tie had withdrawn.

Then the Hon. Best subsided, and the solo became a chorus. Mr. Mountain, junr,, addressed

The motor tricycle was used almost exclusively for pacing purposes on the opening day at the Parc des Princes, and some trouble has arisen in consequence. At the conclusion of the meet a petition, signed by several prominent riders, was handed to Manager Desgrange, asking that motoi pacing tricycles be barred from the track in future

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173 William Street, Melbourne tOpp. Menzies).


The meeting of (he Melbourne Bicycle Club, on May 15th, was a Comic Opera : the Honorable Best was chief baritone. As chairman, the late Customs Minister of the lamented Turner Government is distinguished by great tact, and great good humour, and patience which equals the two. And he wanted them all at the meeting aforesaid. It is more than probable that in his private and inner consciousness he cursed the committee of the club for being a greater ass than Bumble thought English law was in his day. The Committee had clearly got into a bad mess, and having got there, it sat down and grinned affably at it.

First of all, the Managing Committee and the officers of the M.B.C. had been appointed a special committee to appoint a paid secretary. When the meeting opened, the Hon. Best had to explain that the committee had been unable to come to a decision, and wanted the meeting to do it instead. This involved a discussion. It was very amusing, and afforded entertainment for some idle personas, amongst them, the present writer. The Hon. Best was called upon on several occasions to give of the M.B.C. meeting, and lived up to it. Ultimately, it was decided that a poll of the members should be taken for the election of the secretary. There are two candidates. One of them is Robt. McCullagh. The Outpost punts for MeCullugh.

Then Uie Chairman opened the next act of the Comic Opera with a solo. He explained that the rules of the Club directed that Vice-Presidents should be elected in the same manner as other ollicers, that is by ballot. Only for many years before the rule was made the Committee had appointed Vice-Presidents. The Committee forgot that the new rule directed that they should not be appointed, but elected, and it appointed them. Then the Chairman of Committees got up and explained that there was a slight informality about tile matter. A certain member of the Club had formally, and according to Ihe rule, nominated a certain other member of Ihe Club for the position of Vice-President. But the Committe “in its wisdom”—the phrase was the speaker's—had decided that the certain gentleman nominated by the other certain gentleman ought not be elected by the members. Therefore the other certain gentleman had withdrawn the certain gentleman nominated.

Then another member got up and wanted to know something. The Chairman said certainly. Then the certain gentleman who had nominated the other certain gentleman, got up and explained that he had withdrawn the nomination simply because lie had been treated with ilagrant discourtesy by the Committee of ttie Club. The nomination had gone in in the proper form, but it had been cut out by the Committee. Then the

May 26, 1906.

himself to the question. Mr. Sam Leon did the same. Dr. Maclnerney followed Mr. Leon. Then the running was taken up by everyone else who had the gift of tongues, and they who had ears to hear did hear. Ultimately, at the suggestion of Dr. Maclnerney, the four retiring Vice-Presidents were re-elected. And then there was more Comic Opera business. One man suggested that a poll should be taken there and then for the election of the fifth \ ice-President, so that the offended gentleman “ might have a show,” for the position. Another man suggested that a poll should be taken on the following Tuesday, and that nominations should be general. Then a member of the Committee made another suggestion which, he said, would clear the whole matter up at once It did not. The confusion became worse. Then another member of the Committee got up and said that of course he was out of order in addressing himself to the question—the Chairman sighed wearily, and said that it really did not matter, everybody was out of order—but what he wanted-to see was less squabbling, and more brotherly love prevailing. Everybody cheered him, and he sat down again. Then another member got up and said that he would move that they proceed to the next business. That was seconded. Then the Hon. Best said he would like to consult (lie rules. Someone wanted to know whether the rules really mattered under the circumstances. And the Hon. Best looked tired, and said that he did not suppose they did matter. The Committee had forgotten that there were any rules, and Ihe rules that had been adopted were not clear just where distinctness was necessary, and lie thought he would put the resolution. Then the resolution was put and carried unanimously. And the meeting terminated.

Taken altogether it was an hilarious evening’s amusement, and the Committee of the Club deserve the thanks of the members who were present for providing it. The only thing is that they did it unconsciously. They really seem to be an unique committee. When they want to be serious, they are funny. When they want to be funny, they are dull.

A letter in the Age, of May the 18th, from a wheelman, who had, he stated, been disfigured for life by the rampageous cyclist on the St. Kilda-road, again calls attention to the necessity for more patrol work by the cycling policemen. Why the cycling policeman was ever withdrawn from the St. Kilda-road can only be explained on the hypothesis of departmental logic or foolish economy. The writer in question was an ordinary road-rider, cycling to his home in Malvern. Three scorching cyclists attempted to pass him. Two of them succeeded, the third failed. The failure was the misfortune of the road-rider. He was thrown off his machine, badly cut and bruised, and his doctor tells him he will be marked for life. The cycle trade are interested in seeing that this sort of thing is stopped forthwith. Nothing of course can be expected from the L.V.W.

" If this Courbe only wanted to train seriously, what would lie not be able to do ?” Thus the “ Velo,” apropos of flic most remarkable win at the season’s opening meet in Paris. Courbe had made up his mind to give over track racing, and had consequently done no training ; a couple of days before the meeting at the Prince track on March 25th., he took a few trial spins at Lille, and : showed such unexpected form that he went on ; to Paris and entered for the 1,333 metre scratch. He just ran away from the field and won sitting up. He talks about training in earnest now.

^5!=;xg^X=gt    X^.X^. X^. Xx.,. X^.X^.X^.X^.X^-X^.


events. Tliey are objected to because the tricycles are equipped with greater power than tandems, thus the man who follows the strongest tricycle has an enormous advantage over other contestants. Also, the tricycles owing to their breadth, are dangerous to pass on a small track. It is unlikely that the objection will be upheld, as at the beginning of the season a provision for all kinds of pacing machines was inserted in the rules.

Cycle competitors on European tracks this year are going to have a very fast time. There is an erroneous impression that foreigners do not train hard, but the French, German and Italian cracks are putting in a lot of solid work, and English and American competitors will not find much easy money on the Continent. Elkes and Ross, the American riders, will not take part in the Golden Wheel Race at Berlin this year, since they were unable to secure pacing machines in time for training.

Ireland as a touring ground is calling forth some enthusiasm from English cycling magazines at present, because recent events in South Africa, the strong Anti-British feeling on the Continent, and the Queen’s visit to Dublin combine to make Ireland fashionable just now. But these are all mere extrinsic reasons to the cycle tourist, whom the beauties of an Irish tour should be sufficient to attract, anyway. The roads in Ireland are not up to the standard of the roads in Great Britain, but they are being improved every day.

The League of American Wheelmen have always worked assiduously in the direction of highway improvement. Last season, says the Cycle Age, they asked the United States Government “ to appropriate the insignificant sum of §5,000,000 for the purpose of aiding in the construction of a transcontinental highway from New York to San Francisco.” It is considered in many centres of population that there is a good deal of unreasonableness in foisting a tax upon the people to accomplish a work that may be altogether unnecessary, and that certainly will be very expensive.

Mr. H. Smith, of Messrs Smith and Boardman, who probably knows more about free-wheels than most assemblers in this city, in a recent conversation with one of the staff of this paper, gave his views on the merits of this much-discussed device.

“ There are two varieties of free-wheel devices on the market; they are the “ Morrow ” and the B.S.A. The Morrow is all contained in the rear hub, and is perhaps best for ordinary cyclists. It can be easily adapted to almost any roadster wheel, and does not necessitate any alteration of the tires, rim or crank axle. No grit or dirt can get into the brake blocks and wear them out too soon. Its chief defect at present is that it requires frequent adjustment.

Most people have the “ Morrow ” fitted to a spare wheel to keep the old wheel handy in case of accident.

The advantages possessed by the B.S.A. are that if at at any time the chain should break, the back-pedalling brake can be instantly brought into use and the machine brought to a standstill. The disadvantage possessed by the rim brake is that in wet weather the grit and dirt getting between the brake blocks and the rim acts like emery powder, and would quickly destroy any but a specially strong rim.

"Front wheel brakes are indispensable to machines fitted with free-wheelsi and, in my opinion, the most suitable is a roller brake that would wobble with the rim and still retain its braking power.”

Mr. Smith sums up that free-wheels are a distinct improvement on the up-to-date cycle. The machine steers easier and is less liable to come over in the ruts. The best combination yet suggested is an ordinary free-wheel clutch and a good front wheel brake, and with that combination one could descend the steepest hills without any danger.

The coaster brake has reached 1 degree of popularity in certain of the Stales, most disconcerting to dealers who have stocked short of demand. Repair shop-keepers are having a busy and remunerative season, fitting the new device to last year’s mounts ; two thirds of the order:, placed are for free-wheels, and those of the trade who happen wisely to have a stock on hand are profiling immensely. The newspapers also are making a good thing (Hit of the free-wheel fever, with half and three-quarter page advertisements. Some dealers offer to furnish the coaster brake tree on every cash sale, and every conceivable inducement is offered to would-be customers.

The Eastern States of America seem to have very strong prejudices against the Trust, and such a hostile feeling at the commencement of the season is likely to militate sadly against the sales of the A.B.C. in the New England States. The selling arrangements of the A.B.C. are causing no end of discontent and bitter feeling among the agents. All this bad feeling may be merely incidental to the start of any new and powerful concern, or it may indicate the existence of an opposition with which compromise is impossible ; in which latter case there is warfare ahead.

“ A.F. Special ” cycle fittings are steadily and surely gaining a firm hold upon the country. We prophecied their ultimate success, but must certainly admit we did not anticipate the phenomenal sale they have had, considering the present slack season. The Australian cycling public have, so far, had only one style of fittings before their eyes ; but this is a progressive age, and the world’s colossal manufacturers with large staffs of designing engineers, are not idle. Hence “A.F. Special ” fittings to the fore.*


Wallace Tyres have long held a reputation for being good wearers. This fact was well demonstrated last week when a gentleman from Mansfield called at the depot and purchased ¡mother set of Wallace Tyres, his previous set having lasted him just upon three years. *


ROBERT HURST.

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ing on Saturday last, and the Williarnstown folk had to postpone their fixture until to-day.


VITADATIO,

THE GREAT HERBAL REMEDY, CURES ALL CURABLE DISEASES. STRICTURE of 25 YEARS’ STANDING, FISTULA and RUPTURE, INEFFECTUALLY TREATED in LONDON and SYDNjTY HOSPITALS. CURED BY VITADATIO.. INVESTIGATES THIS CASE.

52 Goodhope-street, Paddington.

Mr. S. A. PALMER, Sydney, 6th April, 1900.

Vitadatio Institute, 184 Pitt-street, Sydney.

Dear Sir,—It affords me the greatest pleasure to testify to the wonderful curative properties of Webber’s Vitadatio, for which you are the sole Australasian distributor. For 25 years I suffered with Stricture. At last I had to go into the Sydney Hospital. Underwent an operation, but derived no benefit. Shortly after leaving the hospital a fistula formed, which also caused me great pain. During a gale at sea I had the misfortune to become ruptured on both sides. Returning to Sydney, I again entered the hospital and remained there five (5) months, undergoing another painful operation, from which I derived no benefit. In this state I determined to try Vitadatio. The third bottle began to make itself felt, and I took nine bottles with me to sea. My friends never expected to sec me again alive, but to-day i am in better health than I have been for the past 25 years, and have increased in weight from qst. to over 13st. This is entirely due to Webber's Vitadatio, and it cannot be too widely published. I am well-known in Sydney, and you are at liberty to publish this for the benefit of others. In conclusion, my (riends in Vancouver were so astonished at my recovery that they have ordered me to obtain a supply from you for them. —Yours truly, (Signed) GEORGE BUTCHER.

Mr. Butcher will be glad to answer any questions relative to his case at the above address.

Bladder Trouble Cured by Vitadatio.

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"Venetian," Kennedy-street, Glebe Point.

Mr. W. WEBBER, 9th April, 1900.

Dear Sir,—You will be glad to know of the cure your medicine, Vitadatio, has vvorked for me. About 12 months ago, I was attacked with inflammation of the bladder. For eight months I was under the treatment of three of the Sydney doctors, but their efforts failed to cure me. In November last I commenced taking Vitadatio, and in less than two months I was completely cured. I have had no return of the trouble. I trust this letter will be of use to you, and induce others to try Vitadatio.—Yours faithfully,

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In Sydney, where the weather was favorable, they had a capital day’s racing under the auspices of Tattersall's Club.

1 thought Bob would (fine out of his shell before long, and in winning the Flying Handicap with 8st. dibs, up over six furlongs, covered in 1 min. 18 secs., proved my anticipation of his merit to be correct. He could not have rim up to anything like his correct form in the Doncaster Handicap. Ill beating Butternut, who only carried 6st. i2lbs. and was always supposed to be smart, he showed something ol his best Queensland form.

Boh is now installed equal favorite for the Royal Stakes with Leap Frog, both of whom figure at 8 to 1. Allinga is most in demand at twelves.

Allinga. who won the Tattersall’s Stakes, is a brown Idly by Pilgrims Progress out of Vendetta, by First King from Vinclex (Vengeance’s dam)- a rare good family, and this three-year-old filly, who Is trained by Ike Karnshaw, has probably a distinguished career before her. She was bred by Mr. McCulloch, who sold her for a very small sum to her present owner.

Leap Frog, who Is a full brother to Hopscotch, turned up badly, but the people behind the colt are not as a rule far out in their trials, and possibly he may have had a bad run during the race.

Harry Rayner, who won the Winter Stakes with Melodian, is to be heartily congratulated. The colt is a brown, by Sweet William out of Melody (Melos’ dam), by the Bart from Mermaid by Fisherman (imported).

Melos, who was also trained by H. Rayner, was one of the best of a good year’s lot, and I recollect him doing one of the best mile and a quarter gallops I ever saw done. Entirely on his own he galloped the distance in 2 min. 16 secs. The “ King of the Lizards," as his privileged friends call H.R., is always worth following. No shrewder man ever raced and a kindlier body is not turned out every day. How he used to love to see that old chestnut Straight-necked gelding of his, Bungebah, run down our long tan half-mile in 52.J secs. Only great horses can do this, and they are few and far between. I am certain we have not got one at present.

That half-mile is the most crucial test you can give a horse. Frying-pan could do it in 52.) secs,, so could Commotion, but I think Abercorn'., was the most finished trial over that distance. But lie was a great racehorse,-and I always thi